Echoes of Silence (Unquiet Mind Book 1) (14 page)

She pretended to jut her lip out. “Okay, okay. I’m just a call away if things get overwhelming.” Her eyes turned serious and she rested her hands on my shoulders. “You could wear a paper sack and still be too beautiful and too good for any boy,” she said quietly. “Please don’t though. We’ve got a reputation to uphold,” she added, giving my shoulders a squeeze and leaving the room.

I sank back onto the bed when she left, staring at the ceiling. I was still for a moment before I grabbed my phone and put it to my ear.

“I’ve got a date,” I blurted as soon as my best friend answered.

“Holy shit, a date?” Emma repeated, not bothered by my lack of greeting.

“Yep. In—” I paused to look at the time on my phone “—less than two hours. I have no idea what to wear, what kind of makeup to do, what to say, and what to do with my hands. Did I mention I have no idea what to wear?” I babbled, feeling panic creep up my throat. “Oh my God. I can’t go on a date. I’m canceling.”

“Breathe,” Emma commanded calmly.

I paused, doing as she said.

“Okay, now that you’re not in danger of going postal, I need you to fill me in,” she ordered after a moment. “Last I heard from you, you had an awesome gig and I was gearing myself up to have a rock star best friend and to potentially have a fling with one of your bandmates.”

I had kept Killian and my... thing a bit of a secret, even from Emma, my best friend. The closest person I had in my life in addition to Mom and Ava. We didn’t talk every day, but when we did talk, it was for hours and we’d talk about everything under the sun.

Except Killian.

I felt a little blossom of guilt at keeping this secret.

“You can’t have a fling with any of the boys,” I snapped. “It would turn ugly and I simply couldn’t stand the drama.”

“Don’t change the subject,” Emma ordered, knowing me too well. “Date. Boy. Spill.”

I sighed and, like my mouth had a mind of its own, I did just that, spilled every last detail of my... thing with Killian.

“And now that we finally have an official date, everything seems different and new, and I feel like I might vomit,” I finished, breathless.

There was a pause at the other end of the phone, a long one.

“Wow,” Emma said finally. “I want to be raging at you, my best friend for keeping such a colossal secret from me for so long, but I also have an urge to do a happy dance around the coffee shop I’m currently standing in, regardless of the hot barista who will think I’m a dork for doing so.”

I braced. “Which one’s winning out?”

I didn’t get a response, but I did hear the unmistakable sounds of Emma’s happy dance.

I grinned.

“Okay, I’m back. You totally owe me because the barista definitely thinks I’m an insane person. You’re taking back the ban on the bandmates,” she declared.

“The ban stands.”

She sighed dramatically into the phone. “You better introduce me to Prince Harry when you play for the Queen for her 100
th
jubilee,” she relented.

I grinned wider. “Done.”

“Okay, so it sounds like we don’t have much time, so I can’t talk as much as I would like to about this Killian character,” she said quickly. “I will say one thing. I’m happy for you, Lexie. Ecstatic. You’ve always been a knockout, and the idiots at school were always too blind chasing empty-headed teenagers to notice. It sounds like you’ve found one who knows you’re worth noticing.”

I sucked in a breath. “He’s the one worth noticing.”

“Uh-uh, none of that. You’re the catch. He better treasure you, or I’ll come down there and beat sense into him myself, after Mia does of course,” she stated. “We’ll have a debrief after. For now, go to your closest, get your favorite pair of faded jeans that make your butt look good and your bell-sleeved, plunge-neck Free People blouse.”

I pushed myself off my bed and retrieved the items.

“Got them?” she asked.

“Got them,” I confirmed.

“Good. Now you’ll borrow your mom’s dusty pink wedges to go with this amazing outfit,” she declared. Emma knew both Mom’s and my closets almost as well as we did, considering our home was like a second home to her. She didn’t have the greatest home life, so Mom made sure she was always welcome for sleepovers and dinners as often as possible.

“Hair,” she mused. “Bohemian fishtail,” she decided finally.

“Killian likes my hair down,” I informed her.

There was a pause. “Well, this is the 21
st
century, and we do not do our hair in accordance to male preferences. We do it according to fashion,” she replied.

I couldn’t help but giggle. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Don’t go heavy on the makeup. You don’t need it. Just mascara, some highlighter, blush, and pale pink gloss. That stuff I gave you, so it doesn’t smudge when you guys kiss,” she instructed, having a lot of experience testing kiss-proof gloss. She was nowhere near as inexperienced as me on the boy front.

“You’re a lifesaver.” I felt slightly less like losing my lunch.

“It’s what best friends are for.”

“You need to come down and stay. I miss you more than anything,” I choked out, having a serious bout of homesickness for my friend. I didn’t actually miss DC, just the people in it.

“As soon as I rake up enough cash, I’m contemplating moving down there,” she joked.

I noticed an edge to her voice that had me worried things with her parents might be getting worse, But I didn’t get time to question her on it.

“We will talk tonight, or at the latest tomorrow. For now, go and make yourself pretty, not that you aren’t naturally like that, bitch,” she teased. “Love you long time.”

“Love you longer,” I whispered back, before hanging up.

I stared at the outfit on the bed and took a breath. “Okay, let’s do this,” I muttered to myself, swallowing my butterflies.

I only had one shoe on when I heard knocking on the door. I rushed into the living room, hopping as I attempted to put my other shoe on.

“I’m not ready, I’m not ready,” I chanted in distress. “Answer the door, Mom. Stall him,” I ordered before darting back into my room.

I managed to get the other shoe on while rushing back to my room without doing myself permanent injury. I shoved some items into my fringed purse and moved to face the mirror. I had done as Emma instructed and tamed my curls into a loose fishtail braid, which tumbled down one shoulder. I had torturously made it so various curls wisped out, as if of their own accord. My makeup was light. I decided against the blush, knowing my body would be doing the job of that particular cosmetic product as a result of my nerves. I just dusted some glittery shadow on my lids and swiped mascara. I quickly applied my candy-floss-colored lip gloss and pulled at my top self-consciously.

It was kickass. Mom and I had fought over it at a discount store. I’d won. It was gypsy and boho and way more me. The sleeves were long and flowy, but the print was delicate. It clinched in at the waist and draped down past my hips. It was the neckline that had me pausing. I usually wore a cami underneath, but I had decided against it tonight, so I was more than aware of how plunging it was. I wasn’t exactly lacking in the chest department, but I’d never shown so much of it, on a date no less.

I jolted out of my thoughts. It was too late to change anyway. I took a deep breath, trying not to pass out, trying to shut up the hundred and one thoughts swirling through my brain. I succeeded in not passing out, but the thoughts wouldn’t be quiet.

There was nothing for it. I slowly walked out my door and padded toward the living room, hearing the low murmuring of voices. I really hoped they were getting on, and Mom had not threatened to kill him or anything equally ridiculous.

My thoughts stopped the moment I reached the living room. The moment Killian’s eyes locked on mine. He stood from the sofa, not taking his eyes off me.

At that moment, my mind was quiet. The intensity in his gaze made everything else insignificant. It made me feel like I was ten feet tall. Like I was beautiful. Like I was his.

“Freckles,” he murmured, his eyes traveling down the length of me. “You’re beautiful,” he declared as his eyes met mine once more.

A flame burnt up my neck and onto my cheeks at his words and his soft, husky voice, in front of my mom no less. I was glad I’d forgone the blush.

I watched silently as he crossed the room and grasped my hand. “Have her home by ten, Mia,” Killian told Mom, tearing his eyes away from me.

I had a split second to take him in. He looked amazing, like usual. He was wearing faded blue jeans and a Grateful Dead tee that I coveted immediately. I also appreciated the heck out of the way it hugged his muscled torso. He wore his trademark leather jacket, despite the warm California weather.

Killian gently pulled me out the door. I waved at Mom over my shoulder. She grinned sadly, and then we were outside.

I didn’t think of much as Killian dragged me across our lawn in the direction of his car.

My eyes traveled across the street where Zane was swinging off his motorcycle. His blank and serious gaze was locked on Killian, or maybe Killian’s hand, which was intertwined with mine. I gave him an exaggerated wave and a smile. Killian, who had been watching me, followed this gesture. He gave Zane a chin lift before taking us to the passenger door of his car and opening it for me.

I smiled up at him. “How chivalrous,” I said.

Killian’s returning smile was electrifying. He tipped an imaginary hat.

I giggled as I got in the car, and he closed the door after me. While he rounded the car, I looked over at Zane, who was staring,—no, glaring over at Killian. I didn’t have time to think about that because Killian was in the car and we were moving. It was right then that I realized I’d never been in an enclosed space alone with Killian before. We’d had lunch together multiple times in a cafeteria full of people. We’d been alone together, but that was out in the open, surrounded by space. Now the fact we were actually alone, just the two of us, was all the more evident. I felt butterflies and fiddled with my hands nervously, unsure of what to do, what to say.

Killian’s hand reached over to grasp mine and he pulled it over to rest it on his thigh. I glanced up at him, and he gave me a long look before returning his attention to the road.

There was silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Far from it. It was like we were both bathing in each other’s company, not needing words.

“Where are we going?” I asked finally as Killian directed the car out of town and up an unfamiliar road.

Killian glanced at me. His hand momentarily left mine to change gears, and I felt awkward having my lonesome hand on his muscled thigh. Just when I was about to yank it back, his hand closed on mine once more, giving it a squeeze.

“Wait and see, Freckles,” he murmured.

I screwed up my nose. “I don’t do well with surprises.” I hated surprises. I unwrapped and rewrapped my Christmas presents every year. Mom had yet to find out.

Killian grinned. “It’s not a surprise. It’s a wait and see.”

I glared at him. “Potato, potahto.”

He chuckled and shook his head, lifting our intertwined hands so he could press his lips into my hand. I lost all motor skills at this gesture. I sure as anything forgot about my hatred of surprises. He could have taken me skydiving for all I cared at that moment.

“Impatient are we?” he murmured.

“No,” I replied, my voice husky. “I’m just not the hugest fan of surprises.”

Killian looked forward. “Duly noted.”

I followed his eyes and the structure illuminated in front of us. The parking lot was full with cars, despite it being a Sunday. The fancy script on top of the all-glass restaurant overlooking the ocean read “Valentines.” I’d heard about this place; it was the nicest restaurant in Amber. Not that that was saying much; Amber didn’t boast many restaurants, but people actually traveled here to try it. I couldn’t help myself as Killian parked, my eyes on the crowded tables, but be a little disappointed. The thought of going to such a nice restaurant was touching, but I didn’t want to be around people. As mentioned, apart from a handful of midnight meetings, it was never Killian and me. I wanted those moments of blissful limbo when everything fell away. I wanted them to last longer than a blink of an eye. I wanted it, yet I was terrified of being alone with him, but a good kind of terrified, like the kind I felt when I was on stage on Friday.

Hence the disappointment. I sat up a little straighter. I wouldn’t sulk or make my disappointment known. That would be bratty and spoilt. My mom didn’t raise me like that.

A little tug on my hand moved my attention to Killian. Meeting his eyes, I had a feeling he had been watching me the entire time I was taking in the scenery.

“You good to wait here for a couple of minutes, Freckles?” he asked softly, surprising me. “I would’ve picked this up before I got you, so I didn’t have to waste any time on this date not being with you, but it’s on our way.”

I gaped at him a moment. “You mean, we’re not going in there?” I asked, nodding my head to the restaurant.

Killian’s face didn’t change, but his eyes seemed to harden just a touch. “No. You disappointed?” he asked with an edge to his voice that hadn’t been there before.

“No, I’m happy,” I said quickly, without thinking.
Shoot
. “I mean, this is nice, lovely actually,” I backpedaled, fearing I sounded like the brat I was determined not to be. “But...” I trailed off, unable to find the words.

Killian surprised me by smiling. “But it’s not us,” he finished for me.

I sagged in relief. “No, it’s not us,” I agreed. It was strange that we could make that distinction when the ‘us’ was brand new and this was our first official date, but that was the way it was.

Killian looked at me for a long moment, his eyes liquid, the hardness of before was gone. “I had planned on going the traditional route and waiting until the end of the date to do this. Fuck traditional,” he muttered.

Before I could ask him what he was talking about and be surprised as this was the first time he had cursed in front of me, he wasn’t across from me anymore. He was there, right
there
, not just right in front of me, but kissing me. It happened so quickly, I instinctively kissed him back, then got lost in the kiss that was different than others we’d shared. I felt like it was my first kiss all over again. There was everything in this kiss. Only me and Killian, but it was everything. I didn’t know where I ended and he began.

As quickly as it started, he was gone. Not truly gone, both his hands framed my face and his mouth hovered above mine.

I stared at him through my lashes. “Fuck traditional,” I whispered.

Killian’s body jolted at my words, and then he shook his head. “Jesus,” he muttered against my mouth. “I have a feeling you’re the end of life as I know it.”

“Is that a good thing?” I asked.

Killian’s hands tightened just a smidgeon. “Yeah, Freckles. It’s a good thing.”

I let out a breath of relief.

Killian smiled at me. “Sit tight for two minutes, ’kay?” he murmured against my mouth, rubbing his nose against mine.

“’Kay,” I breathed back.

Killian looked at me for a moment longer, and then the air emptied as he leaned back over to his side of the car and knifed out.

I sank back against my own seat and watched him round the hood then followed the back of his body as he jogged into the restaurant.

I touched my lips absently and then fumbled into my bag for my phone, aware of the time pressure.

“It’s over already? Shit, babe, I’m sorry. What a waste of a good outfit. I’ll be happy to deliver some creative form of punishment to his door if you give me the address,” Emma answered.

“What?” I whispered. Then I caught her meaning. “No, the date’s not over yet.”

“Then what are you doing calling me?” she asked in confusion. “Is he sitting there watching you talk on the phone? Lexie, I know you haven’t been on a date before, but you must know that’s a major
don’t.
”

My gaze darted to the door, aware Killian would be walking through it at any moment. “Stop talkin.
u
I don’t have much time,” I hissed.

“Oh my God, he hasn’t kidnapped you, has he?” Emma asked in panic. “Blink twice if he’s kidnapped you. No, shit, I can’t see you blink. Say periwinkle if you’re being held against your will.”

I let out an exasperated breath. “Em, shut up. I’m not kidnapped or having a bad date,” I said quickly. “I think I’m having the best date in the history of all dates. He’s already kissed me and told me I’m the end of his life as he knows it.”

There was a pause. “Well, shit,” she said finally.

“Shit’s right,” I agreed. “So I just wanted to call and tell you if I’m a drooling mess after having been overwhelmed with... all of this, I love you. And thanks for the outfit choice. He loves it. I think that may have been the reason for the kiss.”

“Honey, it has nothing to do with the outfit and everything to do with the girl inside it,” Emma said softly.

I caught a glimpse of Killian’s jacket in the doorway. “He’s coming back. I’ve got to go.” I quickly hung up the phone and shoved it in my bag. I laid my palms on my thighs as Killian got back in the car. He reached back and placed two amazing smelling bags in the backseat.

His eyes found mine. “You good?”

I nodded. I was more than good.

He smiled. “Good,” he muttered, turning the car on and putting his muscled arm behind me to back out of the lot. As soon as we were back on the road, he snatched my hand once more. It went willingly into his hold. He hadn’t turned back to town. Instead, he turned further up the rise, a road climbing so the hills were on one side, the ocean on the other.

“Where are we going now?” I asked, glancing out the window.

“Your hatred of surprises a reason for that question?” Killian teased.

I glanced back at him, thinking. “No,” I said. “Actually, I don’t really need to know where we’re going. I’m happy if we don’t go anywhere but right here.” I only realized after I said it that my sentence didn’t make much literal sense. “Right here” was fluid, considering we were in a moving car, but I meant right here with Killian.