Eden Forest (Part one of the Saskia Trilogy) (6 page)

I laugh. “Don’t lie.”

Dad smiles back, but it’s weak. The circles under his eyes

indicate weeks of barely any sleep.

“Any word from the Garda today?”

Dad sits down and removes his glasses, rubbing his eyes.

“No, love, nothing, not a trace.”

I squeeze his shoulder. “We’ll find her, Dad. I know we will.”

He places his hand over mine and pats it gently. “Yes… we

will.”

Jessica strolls into the kitchen. “Hey, Dad.” She hugs him

from behind.

“How was school, love?”

Jessica sits opposite Dad and starts at her dinner. “Boring.”

“Your mother would not like to hear that.”

“Yeah, well, she’s not here.” Jessica throws her knife and

fork down.

“Jess, we’re all upset,” I say.

“Don’t, Sarajane.” She storms out of the kitchen and up the

stairs.

“Sit down, sweetheart, and eat your dinner,” Dad says, his

voice drained. He gives me a small smile. “You know how she

is.”

I start eating my dinner, well, more like pushing it around

the plate. Jessica is highly sensitive and seems to find it hard to

control her emotions. When she’s in a bad mood, she can drain

a room, but in a good mood, she lights it up.

Dad and I finish dinner in silence, both caught up in our

thoughts.

After dinner, Dad goes to bed so I clean over the kitchen and

then curl up on the couch in the sitting room, flicking through

the stations. I’m not even focusing on what I’m doing.

“Hey, Sarajane.” Josh stands in the doorframe, nearly

touching the top. He’s over six foot tall and he’s well built, as he

plays rugby for our local team.

“Jesus, Josh, I didn’t even hear you come in.” I move over to

make room for him on the couch.

“The door was unlocked. So what are you watching?”

I turn off the TV. “Nothing, was just flicking. So any news?”

He sighs. “No, work was slow and I just went to practice

after.” He gives a big stretch.

“Well, I had an interesting day at work.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Oh, did some new romance novel

come in for you and the girls?”

I hit him with a cushion. “You’re funny.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that before.” He grabs the remote and

turns on some car show.

“Do you not want to know what happened?” He has the

attention span of a flea when the TV is on. I grab the remote

and switch it off, getting his full attention.

“Okay, I’m listening.”

I go to the kitchen to get a drink. “Do you want a coke?”

“Sure,” Josh calls after me. I come back with two cokes and

hand Josh his. He doesn’t open it straight away, but rolls the can

around in his hands. “So tell me.”

I get comfortable on the couch. “Well, Susan is back with

Max.” Josh doesn’t respond. “But I know we’ll bump into them

at different times. So could you, like, try and be nice to him?”

Josh opens his coke and takes a long drink. “No.” I give him

an evil look, but he isn’t giving in. “No way, Sarajane. That guy

is a jerk, and to be honest, I don’t care what Susan does. I don’t

want you around him.” His words surprise me. Josh isn’t one

for telling me what to do.

“I am not allowed around him?” I say questioningly.

He gives me a look. “You know what I mean. He’s bad news.”

I tuck the cushion against me. “Well, I’ll be nice to him for

Susan’s sake.”

Josh turns back on the TV. “Suit yourself,” he says and starts

to watch the car show.

But my mind can’t focus. It has gone straight back to Mum,

wondering where she is now. Or what she’s doing.

I can see Josh look at me from the corner of his eye and he

lowers the volume. “You want to talk?” he asks. He knows the look on my face when I’m thinking about Mum.

“I miss her, so much, and I don’t know how I’ll cope if I never

see her again. I keep telling myself she’s on vacation and soon

she’ll walk in the door and start fretting about the mess of the

house and what meals we’ve been eating lately.” I give a small

laugh at the end, knowing she would be at her wits end if she

knew we had cut out vegetables since she was gone.

I can feel the tears falling down my face. I didn’t even realise

I was going to cry. Josh hugs me and lets me cry in his arms. We

stay like that long after I’ve stopped. It is such a comfort to be

held. I rub my eyes.

Josh sits back. “Feel better?”

“Yeah, actually, I really do.” I pick up a cushion and hug it

to my body again. I always do this when I’m upset. “Thanks.” I

look at him. “I really mean it.”

“What are friends for?” I roll my eyes. This is Josh’s answer

to everything he can’t answer.

We talk for a while longer, losing track of time, but I don’t

bring the Susan thing up again. When I look at the clock, it’s

midnight. I stretch and yawn.

“Okay, I get the hint. You want to go to bed.”

I give him a little smile. “Finally, you get the message.”

He throws a cushion at me and stands. “Good night,” he

says while smirking. We say our good-byes and I head to bed,

feeling a little better.

The next morning, the house is quiet. It’s my day off, so Dad

would have brought Jessica to school. I jump in the shower and

wash the sweat from my body—another nightmare. I scrub

shampoo into my hair. Maybe I should tell Dad about the

nightmares. It’s the same one every night. Then I decide against

it. What good would it do?

I dress in my tracksuit, as I’m going to my yoga class later

on and just lazing around until then. I’m heading for the stairs

when I pass my parents’ bedroom. The door is slightly ajar. I pause, then push the door open fully and walk in. The scent of my mother still lingers in the air. I close my eyes and inhale the trace of lavender. After a few moments, I go to her dressing table and run my finger along her jewelry box, hairbrush, and perfumes. Her silk scarves are wrapped around the end poster of the bed. I take one and sit on the edge of her bed while wrapping the scarf around my arm.

“Mum, where are you?” I whisper, tears stinging my eyes. I

wipe them with the back of my hand.

I know sitting here is doing me no good, so I start cleaning.

First, the kitchen. The cooker has been used and neglected, so

I pull on rubber gloves and start scrubbing with a Brillo pad,

trying to get the burnt lasagna off the base of it. When I finish

scrubbing the kitchen, I polish the rest of the house and put on

a basket of laundry. My stomach grumbles so I make myself a

sandwich. I check my phone. It’s five o'clock.

I head for the car. I arrive at our local community hall.

Christine and her friend Laura do yoga with me. I see them

going into the changing rooms. I keep going into our yoga room,

not feeling very talkative. I roll out my mat and sit cross-legged.

Everyone is chatting waiting on our instructor, Linda,

to arrive. She’s a very spiritual person-not in a way that

she is religious; it’s more like a different way of seeing and

understanding the world. Most of the girls think she’s really

odd, but I like her weirdness. It’s not something I can put my

finger on, and she reminds me of the ballet teacher I had all

through primary school.

“Good evening, class.” Linda arrives with a bounce in her

step. She rolls out her own mat at the top of the class and sits

down. She gives me a wink before she starts. “I want everybody

to clear their minds and find your centre.” I take a deep breath

and try to empty my mind, easier said than done. “Now

today, we’re going to do something a little different. It’s like

meditation.” I open one eye and look at Linda. She gives me a

little smile and then closes her own eyes. “I want everybody to

think of someone they love and try to picture them, maybe even

try to picture what they could be doing right this moment.”

My mother is the first person that pops into my head. I can

picture her so clearly. She’s smiling at me as she watches me

blow out my candles for my twenty-first birthday. Her curls are

loose around her shoulders, her eyes full of unshed tears of love.

I can still hear her gentle voice.

“Happy birthday, princess. Make a wish.” My cheeks are

damp with more tears. I don’t open my eyes, just wipe my face

and try to hold on to her image.

“Now try and imagine what that person would be doing right

now.” Linda’s voice makes me lose concentration. My mother’s

face dissolves away. I open my eyes and Linda is watching me

carefully. She gives me a sad smile.

After class, I stay behind as everyone leaves, whispering to

each other how weird our class is. “Are you all right?” Linda

sits down beside me.

“I could see my mum’s face so clearly.” I let my eyes wander

to my hands.

“Did you try to picture what she could be doing right now?”

Linda asks gently.

“No, I couldn’t. Her image just faded.” I look at Linda

sideways.

She reaches across and takes my hand. “Why don’t you try

again? I will help you.”

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. My mother’s smiling

face is there again.

“Can you see her?” Linda asks in her calming voice.

I speak quietly, afraid if I speak too loud her image will fade.

“Yes.”

“Try to picture what she could be doing right now.” Her

face becomes less clear, as if the channel is going out on TV.

I concentrate harder. The colour is fading. My mother looks

grey, her eyes empty. She is lying on a floor, smeared in

blood, crying. My eyes shoot open and I gasp for air.

“It’s okay, Sarajane. Relax your breathing.”

I can’t. I feel sick. It was a gruesome image. Where the hell

did it come from? I run to the ladies toilet and bring back up

my sandwich. When my stomach is finally empty, I stop getting

sick. I wash my face with cold water. I look as white as a ghost

in the bathroom mirror.

I can see Linda standing behind me. “What did you see? Did

you see your mother?” I can only nod. Linda moves towards

me and pulls me around to face her. “Where was she?” she asks

urgently. She’s starting to scare me. She must see the fear on my

face, as she lets me go and relaxes her posture.

“Sorry, I just… don’t want to see you sad anymore.”

I shrug. “It was just weird. She was crying.” I take a gulp of

air. “And bleeding, lying on a floor.”

“Could you see if she was in a room?” Linda asks. I shake my

head. This is too much of Linda’s weirdness for today.

“It was a stupid image I conjured in my head.” I walk away.

“I’ll see you next week.”

Linda doesn’t answer. I’m not too sure if she heard me. She

looks lost in thought, and I don’t wait around to find out.

Chapter Two

Saskia ~ Present Day

(Marta)

T
he smell of dampness is overpowering. I open my eyes

slowly. I am lying on a concrete floor, shaking with the

cold. My wrists and ankles are badly bruised, my hair

clotted with dry blood. As I start to get up, bile rises in my

throat. Steadying myself against the wall causes the sharp,

jagged stones to hurt my back. I stumble to the iron gate of my

cell. My lips are cracked and dry; my throat feels like it is on

fire.

“Please, could I have some water?” I rasp.

The guardian sits there, no reply. I can see the tattoo on the

back of his neck
. Et Lux in Tenebris Lucet: And Light Will

Shine in Darkness
. It has been twenty-one years since I have seen it. I knew then I am back in Saskia.

“I see you are awake,” Clive says with a cruel smirk,

descending the stairs. His blond hair and white complexion

look paler under the lights, giving him a ghostly air.

I retreat farther into the shadows of my cell. He turns the

key in the gate and enters slowly. His crystal-blue eyes never

leave my face, soaking up my terror. I back into the wall and

my panic rises. I know Clive is just like his mother, Bellona.

Cruelty seeps from his every pore. I want to scream, but know

it is pointless. Tears stream down my face.

Please, God, keep my daughters safe. I know I will never see

them again.

Clive circles me with his hands grasped behind his back. He

throws his head back and starts laughing. “So you are the whore

who was sleeping with my father? A peasant with a king.” His

face twists with rage and disgust.

Clive pounces, grabbing my hair. I scream. The cut already

on my head starts to bleed again, and blood trickles down my

face. He throws me viciously to the ground. “You won’t escape

this time.”

I curl myself into a fetal position. Clive withdraws his leg

and aims for my stomach. I can’t stop him so I just lie there,

letting my mind slip to happier times. Memories pour in, mine

and Morrick’s first kiss at my door. The first time we secretly

met at the Amour Caves. Falling in love with him was so easy,

but now I would pay the ultimate price.

I blink. Pain runs through every part of my body. I look

around through swollen eyes. I am on my own again with the

same guardian on guard. I try to speak, but every part of my

body is too sore. Darkness overtakes me.

The next time I wake up, Clive and the Queen Bellona are

standing over me. She looks at me with distaste. Her snow-

white, hard face shows no other emotion. A white gown flows

all around her, the ends soaking up my blood pooled around me

on the floor. She doesn’t seem to notice, or maybe she doesn’t

care.

“Taurus, lift her up. I have many questions to be answered,”

the queen says in a monotone, as if this is wasting her time.

I open my eyes, but the light hurts. I close them again and can

hear Bellona and Clive arguing in the hall. I can hear Bellona’s

voice rising. “Are you pleased with your handiwork?”

“Yes, Mother, I am,” Clive says with self-satisfaction.

“You are just like your father, stupid and weak.” Clive tries

to answer, but Bellona cuts him off with a slap. “Now listen to

me. I need her alive, and beating her to death will not get us

answers. Am I not correct?”

“Yes, Mother.” Clive sounds like a five-year-old boy being

reprimanded.

Footsteps sound down the hall. When the queen speaks, she

sounds irritated. “What, Taurus?”

“Sorry, my lady, but the king is looking for you.”

The queen lets out a sharp breath. “Clive, stay with her.

He does not know she is here, and I do not need any more

problems.”

“Yes, Mother.”

Footsteps sound at my door. I keep my breathing even so it

looks like I am asleep. A chair creaks beside me. After a few

moments, I open my eyes and Clive is looking at me. There’s

a handprint on the side of his face. “Do you know the day my

mother told me about you and my… father I didn’t believe it?”

I turn my head away from Clive. I just can’t listen to him.

Morrick told me how cruel his wife and son were, how they

would manipulate situations. Clive grabs my face roughly. “You

will look at me when I speak,” he roars into my face, covering

me with spit.

The door opens then and Ancellia, a servant girl I had only

met a few times before, comes in. She bows to Clive, but her

eyes never touch me. “Prince Clive, I have come to bathe Marta

as requested by the queen.” He flicks his hand towards me and

Ancellia enters the room.

Clive rises from his chair. “I will return later.” He looks at

me and leans in close to whisper in my ear. “When I get back,

you better give me answers or I will kill you.” He stands straight

and leaves the room.

Once he is gone, I turn to Ancellia. “Where is Corrona?”

Ancellia ignores me. “Please, Ancellia.”

She looks at me with anger. “You have dragged enough

people into this. You will not drag me in as well.” She pushes

me over roughly, hurting my side, and bathes my wounds. After

she leaves, I lie there thinking of Corrona and the day I decided

I needed to get out of Saskia.

Corrona and Dominic were blissfully in love. She sat in her

armchair beside the fire, rubbing her very large belly, while

Dominic rubbed her feet. I sat and watched them and wished I

could be normal like that with Morrick and not always hiding

our love. My stomach fluttered thinking of him. Even though

we had been seeing each other nearly a year, I still felt nervous

around him.

Corrona’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. “Marta, go

get the maidens. I think my baby is coming.”

Dominic stood up, his eyes wide. “Now, right now?”

Corrona looked up at Dominic with a smile on her face and

nodded. Then her attention turned to me. “Hurry.” She twinged

with pain. I left and ran to the castle and placed my hand over

my own stomach and smiled. Butterflies erupted in my belly.

I reached the castle and raced across the courtyard, but just

before I knocked on the large wooden door, it opened. I was

faced with Bellona. She arched an eyebrow. “Yes?”

I bowed. “Sorry, my lady, but Corrona needs maidens. She’s

going into labour.”

“Very well.” The queen beckoned two maidens and headed

for Corrona’s cottage. Taurus followed just behind her and me

after them. I felt sick the whole way back. I didn’t think Bellona

would come also.

When we entered, Dominic stood and looked at the queen

in shock.

“My lady.”

“Please, do not rise.” She sat on the armchair that Corrona

had vacated.

Corrona lay on her back, sweat running down her face. The

two maidens placed damp cloths on her forehead and face. The

small cottage now smelled of sweat. I knelt down and took

Corrona’s hand. Dominic held her other hand while telling

her he loved her. Corrona’s swollen belly started to ripple. She

screamed between pushes.

“Shhh, child, there is no need for that. Be quiet,” the queen

said, irritated. I looked at her and she smirked back at me,

making me drop my gaze. Did she know about Morrick and

me? No. I would be dead by now.

Corrona continued to push as the maidens directed her

through her pain, and then the room was filled with the cries

of a baby boy. The maidens handed the baby to Corrona. “Oh,

my precious baby.” She placed a kiss on his head and cradled

him to her chest. The room buzzed with a newfound happiness.

Dominic was looking at his wife and child with pure love, tears

sparkling in his eyes.

“Marta, isn’t he perfect?” Corrona asked me while counting

his toes.

I laughed through tears. “Yes, he is.”

Corrona looked up at Dominic. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” He kissed her and then his son.

The queen stood over Corrona. “May I?” She reached out

her hands for the baby. Corrona and Dominic both looked up,

startled. They had forgotten about the queen, as had I. Corrona

hesitantly handed her baby to her. Tears ran silently down her

face. The queen usually visited in the first month of a boy’s

arrival, not straight away after the birth.

Dominic rose; Taurus stood in front of him. We all watched

as the queen placed a beautiful pendant with a purple stone in

the centre of it over the baby’s head. Its little eyes followed the

movements. I looked at Corrona. She was holding her breath.

“It’s good news,” the queen announced. We all let out a sigh

of relief. Taurus moved away from Dominic. “He has an air

affinity.” The words slipped so calmly from her mouth. Corrona

started screaming. She tried to get up to plead with the queen,

but she was too weak to lift her own body.

Dominic’s face turned white. “Give me back my son.”

The queen looked at him with a scowl. “Taurus.” She turned

to leave. Dominic pulled a small knife from his sleeve and ran at

the queen. Corrona screamed when she realised what Dominic

was going to do. Taurus swung the blunt end of his sword at

the last minute, hitting Dominic in the side of his head. He fell

to his knees, blood running down his face. I rushed to him.

Corrona was still screaming, her arms outstretched
,
pleading

for her son.

The queen opened the cottage door to leave, but before she

did, she turned to Dominic. “You are lucky I do not have you

exiled for that.” She paused. “But I am a forgiving queen and

since emotions are running high, I will let this pass.” Then her

gaze fell on me, yet she was still talking to Dominic. “I will not

be so lenient in the future.” And at that, she left the cottage

with the maidens and Taurus.

Dominic pushed me away and crawled to his wife. He held

her in his arms, whispering over and over again. “I am sorry. I

am so sorry.” But Corrona was inconsolable. I sat on the floor

and cried for them. I cried for my own faith
.
I knew I had to

protect my baby. I had to leave.

Now back in the room, I wipe tears away. The memory still

feels so fresh. No one comes back that night. I fall into a restless

sleep.

The next morning Taurus wakes me. “Get dressed. The

queen is waiting for you.”

My stomach tightens. I get dressed while Taurus watches me

with a look of hunger in his eyes. I dress as quickly as I can so

his eyes won’t be on me too long. He marches me in silence to

the main library where the queen sits, waiting on me. “Thank

you, Taurus.”

Taurus bows and leaves, closing the double doors behind

him.

“Marta.” She gestures her hand to a chair beside her. I