Eden's Jester (20 page)

“He’s not mistaken. Search me, you can see that I’m telling the truth.”
 

Melanthios could still do that. His glamour was still in place.
 

I turned to the knee-biter next to me. “Aeson, I’m going to screw with you so bad, you’ll wish you were in the Abyss, which I just might entertain as an endgame, depending on how this works out.”

Aeson was incredulous. “You are threatening me? You bug! I’ll crush you until there’s not a memory left in the universe of your insipid, incessant irritations!”

“Really, now. What are you going to do? The Abyss is no threat to me. It can’t hold me. Neither can you.” I reserved enough energy, slowly so as not to be detected, to make a quick escape if I had to. I wouldn’t be captured so easily as before. I also opened a small portal, also difficult to detect, to the astral plane, just in case.
 

“I don’t like you anymore, Aeson,” I said without any emotion. I was creeping myself out.

Melanthios finally got his royal act together and spoke up.
 

“Silence!” He boomed.
 

The whole house shook. We became silent. “Elson, how did you escape from the Abyss?”
 

Of course, such knowledge would be priceless to anyone concerned about ending up there. It would also be very important to suppress such information if one intended to use the Abyss as a threat.

“I’m not telling,” I said.

“Yes, you will.” Through the glamour, I felt his will pressing upon mine. In a few moments, I’d have to spill my guts, so to speak. I could never win a battle of wills with the likes of Melanthios, especially since he had had that glamour installed. I’d have to take care of that.
 

“Yes I will, “ I said in a robotic voice. My eyes focused on nothing and my face became blank. I held the face for a few seconds. Aeson and Melanthios both looked expectant, leaning forward in their chairs. The mystery of the Abyss was something they couldn’t resist. After a moment of my blank face, they looked confused.
 

“Oh, you’re talking about your glamour. Well . . . here.” I reached into my pocket for a piece of lint. As I tossed it to him, I reached into myself and removed his glamour from my soul, letting it unravel. But before it was totally gone, I shot as much juice back up its length as I could muster on short notice.
 

The effects were just short of spectacular. Melanthios yelped like a kicked dog and jumped out of his chair, clutching at his belly. His cashmere sweater burst into flames and was gone. His hair actually began to smolder.
 

Rolic stood like a statue. Apolik hissed, but before he could make a move, Melanthios put up his hand, signaling everything was fine. He patted his sweater to make sure it was out, and sat back down.

Melanthios said, “Well, Elson. It appears that I’ve misjudged you. Two firsts in one day: you’ve escaped the inescapable and you’ve removed the irremovable. How amazing.”
 

He had no idea. Again, his tone was all business. He ran his hands through his singed hair, failing to smooth it down.

“You haven’t misjudged me, Melanthios. I’m still the meddling weasel you’ve known and loved.” I changed my clothing back to jeans. I replace my standard tee shirt for one with Yosemite Sam—guns a blazin’ of course. “But I am far more pissed and hankering for havoc than ever. I smote all Aeson’s bozos, and I’ll be doing yours next, Your Lowness. You guys just made the list.”
 

Aeson went rigid, as if I’d stuck an icicle up his butt. Come to think of it, that was worth a try. But I was beyond reason at this point. That little voice--you know, the one that is always trying to kill me--took over.
 

“Oh, and I want you both to know, I’ve officially started a new organization, along with the commensurate propaganda and recruiting machines. It’s for those who are, and will become, fed up with both of your Gestapo mentalities. I’m holding an open house this Saturday at my coffee shop. Open to all--except you two. You’re not invited. It’s only for honest injuns, like me.”
 

I could lie all I wanted now. Melanthios would believe me if I told him his nose had turned into a pickle.
 

“Honest injuns? What kind of a stupid name is that?” asked Aeson.

“You remember them. They’re the guys who were all willing to be friends, but they got so screwed by the Man that they traded in their arts and crafts for firewater and guns. We’re a militant anti-establishment establishment.” Okay, so I was making this up as I went.
 

“Elson, you are a fool,” Melanthios said.
 

“Yeah, I’m quite the joker. And I want Aello. Where is she?” I asked.

“Elson, I am master of this domain. You are not. What I do with Aello is my own business. She is no longer your concern,” he said in his most business-like voice. Aeson covered his mouth, attempting, but failing, to conceal a smile.
 

It was all I could do to keep from blowing my top. These guys really cheesed me off.
 

I said, in an equally calm, but loud, voice, “So, you’re betraying your loyal subjects, teaming up with Captain Chaos here, and conducting covert operations against him in Chile at the very moment that he’s bargaining with you in good faith. You really are a role model for all us weasels, mein fuhrer. Are you interviewing for any intern positions? Because I’d really like to sign up.”

Melanthios made a signal to Rolic to shut the doors. But it was too late. The cat was out of the bag. I hoped Borse kept a low profile in Chile.
 

“Elson, I’m going to skin you alive and feed your carcass to fish on Mars.” He was really mad. There were no fish on Mars.
 

“Yeah, yeah. Like I’ve never been threatened by a superpower before.”
 

I got up, went to the door, and opened it. Rolic was blocking my exit.
 

I turned to Melanthios and Aeson. “I’m going to free Aello and Diomedes. When I get some time, I’ll stop by and we can finish this.”
 

I felt Rolic reaching toward me with a particularly sticky-looking web of energy, probably designed specifically to capture someone like me. But I was ready and he was slow, too slow for Rolic. As I slipped into the black depths of the astral plane, I swear he winked at me.
 

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

My gut screamed that it was no time for thinking. It was time for acting. But I had to take some precautions.

I beat feet back to my coffee shop, where I found Jill, working as always. She sure worked a lot of hours.

“Hi, Elson. What can I get for you?”
 

“Uh,” I looked around. There was a nice red espresso cup as part of a display. It looked like it should be part of a holiday gift package. It was small and would do nicely. “I’ll take an espresso--and put it in this, would you?”
 

She looked at the cup.
 

“Ookaay. No problem.” She brewed some espresso in record time, as only Jill can, and handed me the little nuclear reactor. I handed her a ten dollar bill. While she was taking the money, our hands touched. At first, I couldn’t even sense her soul. But after a half-second, I found it and felt its comfort. She looked me in the eye as our fingers parted. There was a bit of a glint there I couldn’t quite make out. I always had an unusual amount of difficulty reading Jill. No matter.
 

I took the cup to the bathroom, further confusing her, I was sure, and emptied it in one gulp. That would help. I took the cup and began the delicate process of weaving it into the core of my soul, trapping it there with a web of energy strings. Once I had it in place, I double checked my work. I really didn’t know what to look for, as I’d never done anything like this before. Hopefully I wouldn’t end up dispersed across some bad neighborhood in one of the seedier planes of existence. Well, there was nothing else to do.
 

I began to uncork the energy contained within the cup. I had to do it slowly or I might not be able to contain it. That would be the end of my favorite coffee shop. As the energy began to pour forth, I struggled for a moment to get the rate of flow correct. The temperature began to climb in the restroom. The soap melted and the tile began to creak as it expanded. I had to begin to consume the cup’s energy before I lost control.
 

Using the cup’s energy as a booster, I jumped onto the thread that connected me to Aello. I felt myself hurling through the cosmos at record speed. The pipeline of the thread again stretched out in front of me in loops and hills like a twisted roller coaster from hell. I zipped along its length until I sensed I was reaching the end, where I expected to find Aello.
 

I had made record time traveling to the Abyss.

The monotonous grey wasn’t so monotonous today. Dark objects dotted the normally empty space in all directions. There were hundreds of them. A reddish-brown mist formed weak clouds around some of them.
 

As I moved forward, I floated past one of the objects close enough see what it was: a human corpse. Its face was frozen in a grotesque shape, in a desperate plea for aid. Tears still streaked the face, frozen now forever.
 

Others weren’t so pretty, oozing from every pore, their blood forming a fine mist as their life had been sucked into the vacuum of this empty, frigid world. More than one had horrible wounds to their faces. I looked closer and could see flesh in their fingernails. Their injuries had been self-inflicted--vain attempts to gouge out their own eyes. I couldn’t imagine what had driven these poor souls to such horror.
 

I sensed movement ahead. Far away, I could make out several large, spiderweb-looking shapes frantically circling a position, darting in and out, darting at one another. They looked like piranha. It was a feeding frenzy.
 

From the center of the swarm came weak psychic blasts echoing screams of rage mixed with fear. It was Aello. From this side of the battle, the storm of psychic combat looked like fireworks on the Fourth of July. But her attempts at defense were futile. Clearly, the only thing keeping the monsters off of Aello was their frenzied competition. Soon, she’d share the fate of these dead humans, who floated among the combatants like some doomed synchronized swimming team. If I had a dollar for every time I wished I had a camera . . .

There was no time to think. There was no time to prepare. In desperation I let the energy from the cup begin to flow freely, and channelled it through my soul. The world turned white as my senses were overwhelmed by the primal power.
 

Frantically, I searched for any means to stay conscious. As the cup burned hotter and hotter, I reached for its diminishing earthy matter as an anchor. The stability of the clay held me fast, providing a memory of my home, myself.
 

I had no time nor the ability to provide any meaningful form or focus to the attack. I simply conceived of truth, justice, and kindness. I concentrated on everything that I felt was good and right in the world and screamed those thoughts at the swarm. The cup’s energy, taking the form of my thoughts and emotions, poured the brimstone of my heart upon all of them.
 

It was a blast of biblical proportions. I followed it with another, then another. The monsters became confused and disoriented, which was not surprising as large chunks of their souls were being blasted away. Their attacks subsided as they searched for their unnamed opponent. I didn’t wait for them to figure it out. The mini-nova in my gut burned. I let its vengeance flow.
 

I couldn’t think. But I knew I had to get Aello out of there. Like lightning falling from heaven, I descended upon the murder of crows, unleashing enhanced psychic energy in every direction, careful only to avoid harming Aello.
 

I came near to Aello and called to her. But she only whimpered. I could see she was badly hurt. Her lattice was in disarray, its energy pulsing in irregular, even chaotic patterns. These things had mauled her like a piece of meat.
 

“Aello,” I said, “listen to me. Hold on. I’ll get you out of here. Just stay with me.”
 

The demons began to close in on us, but with caution. They had been hurt. Some were barely able to remain coherent, as if they ever were. The outer branches of their souls flickered like a Christmas tree. A particularly nasty and familiar looking demon radiated anger and hate. It was my old friend, Legion.
 

“Back off, prisoner of the Patron, or I’ll do you like I did your friends,” I said.

It quivered with anger. “PATRON!” It bellowed. Then it turned its attention to me.

“We smell you. We will find you. It is the only thing. You will be ours. You will be . . .”

I sensed some communication passing between the brutes. Thinking their prey was about to escape, they were coordinating their attack. I couldn’t let that happen. My mind was numb already. Darkness threatened to overtake me at any moment. The burn of the cup continued, but it would not last long. The light kept the beasts at bay. They tried to come closer, but they were swimming against a current that burned.