Edge (Gentry Boys #7) (13 page)

This was a big theater, the kind with stadium seating and several dozen screens that played the latest guns and superhero blockbusters.  I glanced at my ticket, expecting that I’d scored entry to
Razor Man’s Revenge
or something but instead I was about to step into something called
Love Wings.

Now I regretted not making a choice at the ticket counter. Love stories were kind of a thing with me  (oh, the angst, the tortured romance!) but I wasn’t in a very happily ever after frame of mind at the moment.  For a minute I considered switching my ticket to something less emotional, more explosive, but then I thought I remembered hearing the movie was actually a romantic comedy so I figured maybe it would be all right. 

The ham sandwich hadn’t really hit the spot and my stomach growled so I paused at the refreshment counter where I managed to drop twenty bucks on empty calories and caffeine in eight seconds. 

Oh well. The tub of popcorn, giant soda and box of Junior Mints would just have to serve as dinner and I’d make up for it by waking up early tomorrow to work out.  Back in my dancing days it had been so easy to stay in shape.  After nearly a decade of dedication - five days a week plus Saturdays, recitals, events, endless practices -  I’d quit a few months before my senior year of high school.

Less than fifteen minutes of the movie passed before I realized I’d gotten the romantic comedy idea totally wrong.  The main characters were college sweethearts who reconnected ten years later when the woman, now a no-nonsense career-driven doctor, wound up treating her old boyfriend who was afflicted with Hodgkin’s Disease. 

Oh, and he had a little girl whose mother died in a car accident two years earlier when she was sideswiped by a drunk driver on her way home from her kindergarten teaching job. 

Talk about a tearjerker.  I was a mess by the time the credits rolled.  There weren’t enough stiff napkins in the world to mop this mess up. 

After I stopped in the restroom and cleaned up a little I wandered outside the theater.  A large courtyard separated the movie theater from the rest of the open air mall.  The scenery had changed rather dramatically since I went indoors two hours earlier.  It was now dark and a faint breeze tickled my neck.  Plus the Friday night crowd had descended.  The courtyard was crawling with groups of teenagers batting their phones around like weapons, hand holding couples wearing perpetual smiles and clusters of children being marched around by resolute parents.  

A group of teens eyeballed me when I plunked down on the ledge of a colorful tile fountain.  I waved, realizing that I might seem like a virtual antique to them.  I clearly remembered being their age, hanging out at the mall with Erin, talking about boys and life and nothing in particular. 

It wasn’t so long ago and yet it was.  The sixteen year old me would have considered a twenty three year old woman as some exotic species filled with shadowy experiences.  Since the kids were still just gawking at me I stopped waving but a striking young girl with long dark hair smiled and waved back. 

While I’d been weeping in the theater Emily had texted me a photo of her fondue plate, which appeared to be a variety of food items lavishly dipped in chocolate.  I could see Jackson laughing on the other side of the table. 

Also, my ex-boyfriend had sent one of those annoying ‘What’s up?’ texts. 

Caleb was in the habit of doing that about once a month.  The funny thing was that if you were to meet Caleb in person the words ‘What’s up?’ would seem outside his vocabulary.  He was polished and carefully groomed and liked to show off his valuable prep school education, none of which made him a very ‘What’s up?’ kind of fellow.

We were on polite terms so usually I called him back and talked civilly about things that didn’t matter until I found a reason to end the call.  But the last time we talked things had gotten a little strange.  Caleb had blurted out an offer to fly me to Asheville so I could be his date at his sister’s wedding. I never considered accepting. While Caleb was great to look at and okay in bed and would never ever use profanity in the company of a lady, I just didn’t feel much of a connection with him.  I never had. 

I set my phone down on the ledge.  The teenagers had already jumped up and were heading in the opposite direction.  I saw the girl who had waved at me.  She traveled piggy-back style on the back of boy about her age, a boy with dark blonde hair and a loud, distinctive laugh. 

Suddenly I felt lonely.  That recent cinematic tragedy might have been partly to blame.  My nose still felt stuffy from all the crying.  Being that I was all lonely and stuffed up and sitting beside a mall fountain in my grey yoga pants I decided to call Caleb after all. He was a decent guy, he’d be glad to hear from me and we were still friends.  Sort of. 

After two rings the call was picked up and a deep, amused voice said, “Hey you.” 

I paused.  Caleb didn’t have a deep voice.  More of a nasal whine than anything else, Caleb’s voice was perhaps his most unfortunate feature. 

“Caleb?” I ventured, wondering if he was just drunk. 

A chuckle.  “Don’t tell me you forgot my name.” 

Oh. My.  God.
 

What the hell?  Did that sneaky bastard revise my contact list and erase Caleb’s number, replacing it with his own? 

No, that didn’t make any sense.  I’d never even mentioned Caleb to him.  At least I didn’t think I did.

Slowly I pulled the phone away from my ear and stared in horror.  Yes.  There was his name, just as he’d entered it. 
Gentry. 
It proved my unfaithful fingers had actually done the work of pulling it up and pressing the call icon. 

There had to be some kind of psychological name for this, a Freudian slip or whatever. 

No, that had something to do with sex.  This didn’t have anything to do with sex. 

“Roslyn?” Conway called as if from far away. 

I moved the phone back to my ear cautiously, like it might bite me. 

“Conway!” I said too brightly, too loudly.  “Oh hi.  I’m so sorry.  I must have butt dialed you.”  I winced over the lie. 

“Does that mean you don’t want to talk to me?” 

“Well I’m kind of busy right now.” 

“Yeah?  What are you doing?”

“I’m just busy.” 

He sighed on the other end.  Not a soft sigh, a deep sigh of exasperation.  I expected him to come back with some smart ass comment. 

“Look,” he said.  “I kept meaning to call or stop by.” 

“How could you stop by?” I said, rather sharply.  “You don’t know where I live.” 

“Roslyn,” he said and cleared his throat.  “I’m just going to put it all on the table here. If you’re really busy I’ll let you go but if not, well, I’d really like to see you.” 

“Now?”

“Or later.  Or tomorrow.  Whatever you want.  But now’s good for me if it’s good for you.” 

“I’m not home.  I’m at Desert Springs Mall in Tempe.” 

“Ah, well it’s practically a date with destiny in that case since I’m about five miles away.” 

I frowned.  “Are you really?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you, Roslyn.” 

There he goes again.  Every time he says my name my heart flips over.  I inhaled.  I exhaled.  I silently begged my voice to sound as nonchalant as humanly possible. 

“Okay, well if you’re just a few miles away I’ll wait.  I’m sitting at the fountain by the theater.” 

“Perfect, I know exactly where it is.”  He paused.  “We’ll have fun, okay? I’ll take you out wherever you want to go. No games, I swear.” 

I smiled.  “That might get expensive.” 

“I can cover it.” 

“If you insist.” 

“I do.”

I glanced down at my ensemble.  “I should warn you I’m not exactly all dolled up right now.”

“I’ll forgive you.” 

“Very funny.” 

“Roslyn.” 

Another heart spasm.  I closed my eyes.  “What?”

“I’m really glad you called.” 

“Great.  I’ll see you soon.” 

“Yes, you will.  Ten minutes.” 

I hung up the phone and exhaled shakily.   What the hell does this guy do to me? 

Anything he wants. 

I thought about dashing to the restroom and doing what little could be done to fancy myself up a little. I wasn’t really date material at the moment.  At least I could shake out my hair and rub some lip gloss on.  But I didn’t.  Instead I stubbornly stayed put with my purse in my lap, clutching the stone ledge as my mind tried to recall tai chi breathing methods. 

When Conway arrived he would find me perched here in in my pajamas, plain-faced and messy-haired and that was just going to have to be good enough. 

He had estimated accurately.  Barely ten minutes had passed and I was busy trying not to examine distant male figures too closely when I saw him.  He walked rapidly with his head down and as he drew closer I saw his hair was more heavily streaked with blonde than it had been two weeks ago.  When he looked up an instant smile lit up his face magnificently.

I folded my hands in my lap and waited while his long legs closed the distance between us.  He’d done a splendid job of getting even hotter in the past two weeks.  It took everything I had not to chuck my dignity into the fountain and run to him. 

He paused right in front of me and suddenly looked uncertain. 

“Hi,” he said.   

I swallowed.  “Hi, Conway.” 

He cocked his head slightly and studied me.  I couldn’t really read the look in his eyes but there didn’t seem to be any insults there.  Maybe he was just surprised to find me so, well, understated. 

“I warned you,” I said defiantly. 

He raised his eyebrows.  “What?”

“On the phone.  I warned you I wasn’t exactly a glamour queen tonight.”   

He didn’t reply immediately.  He stared for another few seconds, then abruptly sat down right beside me, close enough to feel the heat of his right thigh. 

“Honestly,” he said quietly, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look better than you do right now.” 

I elbowed him, snorting.  “Get real.” 

“Roslyn?”

“What?”

“Did I blow it?  With you, I mean.  With us. Did I?”  He was completely serious, staring down at his lap with a solemn frown.

Us? 

I was so stunned I couldn’t even answer right away.  These last two weeks I’d been thinking he was just a callous player who’d gotten what he wanted and moved on.  I didn’t quite know how to handle this new man, this bashful, earnest man who seemed afraid of my answer. His eyes searched mine like they were hoping to find what they were looking for.  Slowly he reached over and touched my cheek and I swear to god every living cell in my body responded with an ardent plea for more, for all of it, for everything. 

“I’ll make it up to you,” he whispered but it wasn’t a sexy promise.  It was an appeal for something else.  Conway was asking me to see a side of him that he probably didn’t allow to surface very often. 

I reached up and pressed his hand against my cheek.  I didn’t know what this was between us but it was powerful.   When I pulled his hand away and kissed the open palm I heard his sharp intake of breath. 

“You didn’t blow it,” I told him and laced our fingers together.  “But you can make it up to me anyway.” 

He smiled.

CONWAY

The day had gotten off to a strange start. 

First thing this morning I found a kid picking through the trash bin in the lobby.

Not a little kid – closer to a man than a kid – but still young enough that life hadn’t made him hard yet despite the wariness in his eyes. 

I’d been on my way out, thinking I’d drive up to Flagstaff or something and celebrate two weekends of lucrative race winnings but seeing that scared kid rooting around in a wire trash can in search of scraps made me change my mind.  He jumped at the sound of my voice and cautiously said his name was Ranger.  To me that sounded like a lie that he’d made up on the spot but it wasn’t important.  Once I swore I wasn’t a pimp or a dealer or a secret government agent he loosened up and let me buy him breakfast.  Even Kilt couldn’t shove food down as fast as this poor kid. I found myself really feeling sorry for him after a more thorough appraisal told me he wasn’t quite making it on the streets.  He was skinny and nervous and plainly tired.  When I mentioned that I knew of an extra room he could have if he would just help with some housekeeping work around the hotel because the tweakers were really making a mess of things he almost dropped his milk glass in shock.  He recovered, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stared at me with a little suspicion.

“Why would you do that for me?”

I shrugged.  “I’m feeling generous today.”

When he still seemed unconvinced I tried again, choosing my words carefully.  “Look, Ranger, I’m not really doing you a favor.   I’m just sick of living in a pigsty and anyway the owner’s been making noises about shoving the lot of us out and selling the place so it’s in my best interest to get it looking a little nicer.” 

He thought about it.  “If it’s a pigsty why do you want to stay there so bad?”

“I like it there.” 

He grinned.  “I used to help my dad out when I was a kid so I know how to fix things.” 

“Yeah?  Was he a handy man or something?” 

The grin fell away.  “No.  He was the janitor at a high school.” 

I didn’t miss the fact that he referred to his father in the past tense or that he didn’t seem to want to elaborate.  Whatever his story was, he would fit right into the motley collection of humanity that ran around the San Gabriel. 

When we got to the sixth floor, Eli was hanging out in the lounge.  He gave me a ‘What the fuck’ kind of look when I explained about Ranger but I flipped him off and showed the kid to the room at the end of the hall. 

Then I decided I’d had enough of babysitting today so I handed him a few hundred bucks and told him to go shopping and get what he needed.  The smile he cracked was so full of gratitude I was afraid he was going to hug me. 

When I felt a twinge of guilt because I realized Ranger was rather young to be exposed to all the sleazy shit that went on around here, I brushed it off.  If he’d been on the streets for more than a few weeks he’d probably already seen much worse.

Once I was done being a Good Samaritan and had found my way outside again I no longer wanted to drive to Flagstaff.  The morning was mostly gone anyway.  As I got behind the wheel of my latest Mustang acquisition my thoughts turned to Roslyn. 

What would she be doing now? 

It was Friday so she’d probably be sitting behind her desk at that shelter she worked at and waiting for someone needy to walk through the door so she could help him. 

But hey, at least I had something to talk about with her now.  I could call her and smoothly say, “Guess what? I just rescued this stray teenager and gave him money and a place to live.  That’s pretty awesome, right?  Don’t you want to get naked with me now and fall asleep on my chest all weekend?” 

Maybe not.  That sounded bad enough in my head.  I didn’t have much faith I could turn it into something better out loud.   

Stone had been all smiles when I went to his house two weeks ago, told him I’d met a girl and that I thought I could end up really liking her.  He was always dropping hints and trying to set me up with Evie’s friends in the hopes that one of them would catch my eye and tempt me to reach up to the curb. 

Then I’d said Roslyn’s name and his smile turned to pure shock.  He managed to sweep the shock off his face though and listen closely to what I had to say.  He remembered her, of course, but he didn’t ask any insulting questions, like whether I was using my dead girlfriend’s best friend as a degenerate way to try and recapture what I’d had with Erin.  

I’d already questioned my own intentions and was actually surprised to find out that I liked Roslyn.  I thought about her often and there was nothing sinister about it.  In fact I liked her a lot. Maybe more than I should.  

Since a drive to Flagstaff was no longer appealing and casually dropping by at Roslyn’s work was out of the question, I headed east, out of the city, no particular destination in mind.  The sky was clear and no clouds of smog hung in the air to obscure the mountains. 

I drove all the way out to the Superstitions, exited the car at a roadside lookout point and just stared at the view for about two hours.  This wasn’t a popular spot; there wasn’t a lot of room to park and there were much better ones farther along the twisty mountain road. 

Eventually a car with Illinois plates pulled in beside me.  Two elderly couples slowly got out, the men holding protective arms around the waists of their women as they carefully approached the edge of the lookout.  All of them had to be seventy five years old if they were a day and the men looked alike enough for me to guess that they were brothers, especially when they started arguing about how to take a cell phone photo and Brother A called Brother B a ‘meathead’.  They made me wonder if this was what Stone and I had to look forward to someday.  I kind of hoped so. One of the women approached me with a smile and handed me a phone, asking if I would take a picture of the four of them.  I could tell she’d been a beauty once and in a quiet way she still was.  The men threw me a look when I told them to say cheese but they twisted their lips into smiles anyway and I got a really nice shot of the four of them with the mountains at their backs.  The women fussed and thanked me and then folded themselves back into their Honda Pilot and drove away. 

By that time I was hungry so I drove down to Apache Junction and grabbed a sandwich at a supermarket deli.  It tasted like nothing but salt and mayonnaise but I ate it anyway.   As I made my way back to the freeway I got the bright idea to go to Tempe and pay a visit Deck, like I’d promised weeks ago at Stone and Evie’s engagement party.  Other than Stone, I hadn’t seen any of the Gentrys since that day. 

Deck and Cord were equal partners and owners of Scratch, an eclectic tattoo parlor up by the university.  About a year had passed since I’d been inside, partly because I never had too many reasons to be out this way.  I smiled when I pulled around to the back parking lot and saw Deck’s Harley sitting out there.  Family man or not, he was still Deck Gentry. 

Some colossal dude with a crew cut, bulging muscles and army fatigues was smoking a cigarette in the parking lot.  We recognized each other at the same time and nodded silently.  We’d never actually spoken but I knew he’d worked for Cord and Deck for years. 

The storefront was colorfully decorated with an assortment of painted art that was probably some of Cord’s work because he was an incredible artist.  I kept meaning to get some more ink and I’ve thought about asking Cord if he’d do the honors but decided that might be weird. 

It wasn’t that he wouldn’t be willing to do it.  He would.  But I was in the habit of keeping Cord and his brothers at a distance, at least in part because I was afraid I’d let an old family secret slip out.  At this point knowing about me wouldn’t do them any good and I couldn’t bear to disappoint any more brothers. 

My hand was reaching for the door handle when the thing swung open and I had to jump back to avoid getting hit.  Creed Gentry hadn’t been looking where he was going and he almost managed to knock me over as he exited Scratch. 

“Oh shit. I’m sorry, man,” he said in his deep, rumbling baritone as he grabbed my arm to keep me in balance.  He dropped it immediately.  “Conway.” 

“Hey, Creed.”

I always managed to forget what a big motherfucker he was.  He was right up there on the brawny scale with Kilt.  I heard the way his voice had turned suddenly flat when he said my name. 

Creed looked behind him and then back at me. He smiled.  Slightly.  I could tell he was trying to be pleasant and that it was an effort. You had to hand it to Creed; there was absolutely nothing artificial about that guy.

“So what brings you out here?” he said.

“Just in the neighborhood, thought I’d stop by to say hello.  What about you?”

“Managing the new club that opened up over on Mill.” 

“Which one?”

“Caps Lock.”

“You’re not singing anymore?”

He shrugged.  “Sometimes I still take the stage but going on the road is out of the question with the family so, ya know.  You do what you’ve gotta do.” 

“Well, maybe I’ll come down one of these days and pay you a visit.” 

He gave me rather a dull, indecipherable look.  “Okay.” 

An uncomfortable moment of silence passed. 

I jerked my head toward the doorway of Scratch.  “The proud owners inside?” 

“Yeah.”  He coughed once and looked away.  “I’ve got to be on my way but it was good seeing you.” 

As soon as that last syllable was out of his mouth he walked away. 

“Bye, Creed,” I called, expecting he wouldn’t bother to turn around. 

He did though.  He stopped walking, turned around, looked at me for a second and then raised his hand with a half-hearted wave. 

Deck and Cord were far friendlier.  Deck slapped me on the back with a mile wide grin and Cord greeted me like I was a celebrity.  There were enough artists on staff to handle whatever traffic walked through the door so the three of us sat in around in Cord’s office, joked around and drank a lot of coffee.  They had an easy camaraderie between them and it was nice just being in their company.  I did notice that they were careful about not asking me too many questions, as if they were afraid I’d balk and immediately walk out the door.  It was my fucking fault that I’d kept myself apart from them for so long that they felt like they had to tiptoe around me.  It was a sad kind of realization.   

All this time, and all these walls of armor I’d built around myself to keep out the people who cared about me the most.  All the ways I’ve turned away from any possibility of love. 

Why? 

So I would never again have to risk the agony of loss? 

That was sure proving to be a lonely way to make the years go by. 

Deck snapped his fingers in my face and I flinched. 

“Sorry,” he said, leaning back in his chair with a thoughtful look.  “You looked like you just got lost there for a few seconds.” 

“Well, maybe I did.”  I heaved myself out of the comfortable chair and both men looked at me curiously.  “Don’t want to keep you guys from your work so I should really get going.” 

“No rush,” Cord shrugged.  “I don’t hear any screaming so everything must be going all right out there.” 

“Talked to Stone yesterday,” said Deck. “He mentioned he and Evie have set the date.” 

“I heard.  October eleventh. And Evie has her heart set on getting married outside so the ceremony will be at some golf resort out in Gold Canyon.” 

“October eleventh,” Deck repeated, nodding.  Then he stood and pointed at me in warning.  “Just don’t let these next six months go by before we see you again, okay?” 

I smiled.  “I learned a long time ago that it’s always a good idea to take suggestions from the wise Deck Gentry.” 

“That’s right, kid.  ‘Cause Deck knows best.  Funny, I’ve been telling Jenny that same thing for a decade but she still ignores me half the time.”  He bobbed his head in Cord’s direction.  “Speaking of wives, I thought you were taking off early because yours is having a birthday.” 

Cord felt around in his back pocket.  “What time is it?” 

“After five.” 

“Shit, I better get going.”  He pulled his phone out, tapped something out on the screen and then looked up as I was heading out the door.  “Hold on, I’ll walk you out.” 

I was sure I could find my way to the parking lot on my own but I didn’t want to be rude so I followed Cord as he said goodbye to his employees and then headed down a long hallway toward the back door. 

“I’m glad you stopped by today,” he said cheerfully.  “In fact it seems kind of like fate.”

“How so?”

“We were just talking about you this morning.” 

“No wonder my ears were burning.” 

“Nah, all good stuff.  All the kids were quite taken with you at the engagement party and my girls have been asking when Cousin Conway is going to come back and visit.” 

He pushed the door open and we stepped into the softening light of early evening.

“They’re all good kids.”

“They are.  Kind of a handful when you get them all together but we’re one lucky tribe.  Hey, that’s not your Mustang, is it?”