Edge of Disaster (6 page)

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Try to pretend things? I can tell you like me...or at least you want to. But you’re trying to pretend you don’t.”

Oh no.

“Look, Pearce, I...”

“Alexia, let’s just go have a nice dinner. And let me hold your hands and warm them, okay? I promise I won’t hurt you.”

But that’s not what I’m afraid of...I’m afraid of hurting you.

I shook my head and said, “Okay.”

We went to Rick’s, a restaurant that specialized in seafood, and had a great time. He was very engaging and I laughed at almost everything he said. I don’t remember any of it, but I was so happy that night. So fucking happy. No ghosts poked into my head to ruin anything. No memories of nights with men I didn’t know. It was just Pearce and Lexi. And it scared the crap out of me.

He walked me home and on the way he told me something that almost made me cry.

“I regret the hell out of letting you go that night Alexia. If I had stayed with you, insisted on walking you home, you would’ve been safe.”

“Don’t say that. You couldn’t have known. Besides, this is the first time I’ve been out after dark and don’t feel scared to death. Don’t ruin it.”

He kissed me on my cheek and waited until I got inside to leave.

Why oh why? He is a dream come true but I don’t trust myself enough with him yet.

As I knew he would, Pearce called me the next day and the next and every day after that. Some days I answered and we’d talk for a long time and others I would let it go to my voicemail. Then he’d text me.

P: You can run but you can’t hide, lol!

I’d call him back. We’d meet for a drink but I was really scared. I knew I had to tell him something. He deserved an explanation of why I was behaving like this. I couldn’t disguise my feelings for him. It was damn near impossible.

When the holidays rolled around, our whole department went to Camellia’s for our Christmas party.  There were only twenty-two people in our group, so they put us in the big room in the back.  It was odd going there as a guest.  I scooted into the kitchen to say hi to everyone and got hugs from the chef/owner. We chatted for a bit and I headed back to the table.

On my way back, I happened to glance across the room and I saw Pearce seated at a table for two. He was talking intimately with a perfectly beautiful blonde. My heart plunged and my stomach twisted.  I don’t know why, as I hadn’t exactly been there when he wanted me to be. He probably figured he’d tried enough so he’d given up and I really couldn’t blame him, but damn it killed seeing him like that.
I watched him smile and he lifted his hand and grabbed his date’s hand and placed a kiss on the back of it.

I don’t know how long I stood and stared, but I found I couldn’t make myself move.  My feet felt like cinder blocks. Suddenly he lifted his head and his eyes landed directly on mine.  My eyes widened for a moment, my face heated up, but I quickly bent my head down and forced myself to move my feet.

I turned toward the restrooms, intending to hide there for a few moments, but I never made it.

“Alexia, wait.”

I swallowed that thick lump in my throat, doing my best to force it down.  I put on my best smile and turned.

“Hi Pearce. It’s really great to see you.” My voice shook and I prayed that he didn’t notice.

No such luck. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m good, thanks. And you?”

“I’m fine too.”

“I’m here for my work Christmas party.”

“Is that so?”

“Uh huh.  We’re in that big room in the back.”

“Oh great.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Sounds like fun,” he said.

“No, it doesn’t.  You’re just being polite.” I laughed.

“Oh, you’re so wrong Alexia.  Everything about you interests me.  Except you still won’t let me in.”

My face flushed with heat again and I bent my head to look at my feet.  I had on sandals that were outdated.  I couldn’t afford new shoes so I had to wear those old ones.  My pants mostly covered them so I hoped he didn’t notice.  They weren’t exactly the highest element of fashion either. I really hadn’t bought any clothes in several years, other than a few items I’d scored from consignment shops, so those were dated as well. Not to mention I still hadn’t gained back all the weight I lost so I’m sure I looked haggard as hell.

“You look great Alexia.”  He was always so fucking polite.

“Thanks Pearce.  So do you.  I guess I should be going.  My group is going to wonder what happened to me.”

“Stay safe please.” He reached out his hand and touched my cheek. “Please call me. Please Alexia.”

I just smiled, turned and walked away.

********

PEARCE

I couldn’t believe it when I saw her across the room. I think my mouth dropped open and my jaw hit the table. I’m not really sure though because I shot out of my seat like my ass was on fire. I had to talk with her...a word or two, nothing more.

She looked great.  Hell, she always looked great. Who was I kidding? She looked great to me the night she came in with stab wounds. Okay, a bit of an exaggeration, but that woman would look great in anything. 

I could tell I made her uncomfortable but for the life of me I didn’t know what the hell I could do differently to change that. She was like a frightened rabbit around me and I couldn’t quite figure out why. I hadn’t done anything to make her that way...nothing that I could think of anyway.

We talked for a few minutes and she scampered off, just like a scared little bunny. I was going to have to figure out how to get that bunny to like me and to feel that she could trust me. I was a patient man and what she didn’t about me was I was relentless. I liked her...a lot. I wanted to get to know her...a lot. And when I set my mind to do something, I usually did it
.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Christmas came and I never even put up a tree. No surprise there.  I hadn’t put one up since Peter died.  Christmas didn’t mean anything to me anymore. Why should it? No family, no one to share it with. I’d woken up early and volunteered at a local soup kitchen since I didn’t have anything going on at my home. I thought I’d put myself to good use.

Later on, Terri stopped by on the way to her parents’ house.  She’d invited me over but I declined.  I’d always felt that Christmas was family time and I wasn’t her family.  She disagreed with that but I didn’t change my mind. We exchanged presents.  I bought her a really cool leather cuff that I’d saved up for. She took one look at it and I knew it had been the perfect choice. Her eyes lit up like the Christmas tree I didn’t have. She bought me a new purse that I’d been dying to get. We hugged each other and I thought of how she was my only family. I felt my eyes tear up.  My parents didn’t send gifts to me. They still blamed me for Peter’s death.  Who could blame them...I still blamed me.  Hell, it was my fault.  They didn’t call or anything anymore.  I never even told them about my attack.  My sister didn’t call either. So much for my family.

After Terri left, I walked over to Lisbeth’s.  I knew she would be having the entire Rutledge clan over so I wanted to make sure there weren’t any last minute things she needed.  Everything was set for dinner.  Her housekeeper would come for the meal and then leave.  I told her I’d come to clean up.  She wanted me to eat with them but there was no way I would do that. I was so out of my element with her family. They treated me well, but...square peg, round hole and all.

I had a little something for her too.  I had found a pretty scarf and I knew she liked those. Gift buying always stumped me...especially when the giftee was someone like Lisbeth.  She “oohed” and “aahed” when she opened it, so I guess she liked it. I hoped so anyway.  Then she handed me my gift. It was a small box and I unwrapped it and opened it up and inside was a key...a car key.  It was a key to a brand new Toyota Highlander.

“Lisbeth, I think you’ve lost your mind.”

“Well, I’ve been told a lot of things Missy, but never that.”

“You can’t give me a brand new Toyota Highlander.”

“I most certainly can and I just did.  Here’s the title, registration and all the papers you need.”

“Lisbeth, I can’t possibly accept this gift.”

“You can and you will or you will vacate this property immediately.”

My mouth formed a huge O. She was serious about this.  I was shocked.  She couldn’t give me this car.  She just couldn’t.  I stood there and shook my head.

“Look Alexia Smith Hammond.  It’s about time you let me do something nice for you.  I have money.  Lots of it.  It’s sitting in the bank or wherever the hell it sits, gathering dust.  It sits there and makes more and more money.  I can’t possibly spend it all. I’m going to die soon and leave so much money to my children and grandchildren and they can’t possibly spend it all. Take the damn car and just say, ‘Thank you Lisbeth, I love it.’ Make me a happy woman.”

I laughed so hard my sides hurt.

“Thank you Lisbeth, I love it. But can I go look at it?”

“Honey, you can go drive all day long if you want.  But be back here at five to help with this mess, will you?”

I hugged her hard and tore out the door, laughing.  The Highlander was a silver beauty.  I couldn’t believe my eyes.  I’d never had a new car in my twenty-eight years. I never really had a car that didn’t break down all the time and was reliable and safe.  Even the car that...well, I just wasn’t going to think about that today.  Nothing was going to spoil the Christmas of my brand new Toyota Highlander!

I drove around the Charleston peninsula, over the Arthur Ravenel Bridge across the Cooper River, and I crossed the Intracoastal Waterway on the Isle of Palms Connector.  Then I made my way down Palm Boulevard, across Breach Inlet and onto Sullivan’s Island.  I meandered around until I hit the lighthouse. Then I turned around and drove past Poe’s Tavern and Home Team and headed back to Mount Pleasant via the Ben Sawyer bridge. I soon found myself heading back into downtown Charleston.  I turned into my driveway and then it hit me. I was in L-O-V-E! I loved my new car.

“Woohoo! I love my new car,” I yelled as I jumped out of the car.

I ran into my carriage house, super excited and hopping around like an idiot. I was so psyched I didn’t even notice my phone was ringing at first. I dug in my pocket for it and answered it without looking at the caller ID.

“Merry Christmas!” I shouted into the phone.

“Merry Christmas back to you. Sounds like Santa was good to someone I know.”

My tummy immediately did a forward two and a half in the pike position and headed straight to my toes. It was Pearce. I’d recognize that rich, sexy voice anywhere. I forced myself into a quick recovery and said, “He sure was. How about you?”

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“On your answer.”

“Oh. Well, ask your question then.” I was so happy, there wasn’t anything he could ask that would spoil my mood.

“Can I see you tonight?”

“Yes!”

Holy fuck Lex! You just agreed to see him!

“Really?” He must’ve been shocked by my answer.  I was so excited with my new present that I was feeling very magnanimous.

“Yep, but I have to help clean up after Lisbeth’s dinner.  They’re supposed to finish at five.  What did you have in mind?”

“I’ll come and pick you up at seven. Will that work?”

“It should be fine.  What are we doing?”

“Christmas, silly.  My place.  Casual attire.  Jeans are fine.”

“Um, Pearce?”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t get you anything.”

“Good. I didn’t get you anything either.  See you tonight.”

********

It was five before I knew it and I headed over to the main house.  The whole clan was everywhere so I didn’t want to make a grand entrance.  Slipping in the back door, I headed straight to the kitchen to start cleaning up. The dinner had been elaborate so I put all the uneaten food away in containers and stacked them in the refrigerator.  Then I started putting the dishes in the dishwasher.  I hand washed all the silver and delicate crystal and was finishing up when Lisbeth came into the kitchen.

“You’ve been a busy bee honey.”

“It looks like you all had a good time.”

“Yes we did. Take some food with you.”

“I may come and get some tomorrow.  I have a date at seven so I have to go.”

“A date? With whom?” That look on her face told me I was going nowhere until she got an answer.

“With Pearce Middleton.”

“Well, I’ll be! You go and pretty yourself up, though you don’t need any prettying up at all. Have fun, but I expect a full accounting tomorrow Missy!”

“Yes ma’am,” I shouted as I headed out the back.

Once I got home I threw on some clean jeans and a pretty bright green flowy sweater.  I put on my black boots and then I added a bit of blush to my cheeks.  That was about it for make-up. Ever since my night with Beavis and Butthead, I’d thrown out the mascara tube.  The thought of putting that sticky goop on my eyes made me itch. I quickly brushed my teeth and put some gloss on my lips.  Adding some earrings and a bracelet, my attire was completed.  I was ready for Smoky Eyes.  Well, not really, but I was dressed anyway.  I don’t think I’d ever be ready for him.

At seven on the nose, my doorbell rang and there he stood.  He held a piece of mistletoe over his head and had a sheepish grin on his face.  I rolled my eyes at him and stood on my tip toes and gave him a peck on the cheek.

“Huh uh. That won’t do,” he said, his rich voice sending shivers down my spine.

He put his arms around me and hugged my body to his. He looked me in the eye and the question was there, whether it was okay to continue. I nodded as I held my breath.

He bent his head and his lips touched mine, lightly, hesitantly at first. But then a spark lit between us and I tangled my fingers in that wavy hair on the nape of his neck and kissed him back.  Just as I had imagined, boy could that man ever kiss. I was a goner for sure.

His lips were soft, yet firm.  He knew his way around a girl’s mouth.  As I relaxed, I felt his tongue peek out and softly sweep over the curve of my lower lip.  Before I knew it, he’d taken my lower lip between his teeth and started to gently nibble on it.  Then he sucked it into his mouth.  His tongue continued on its sexy exploration, tasting all the hidden secrets of my mouth.  I was melting in his arms.

He finally lifted his head and said in that perfectly smooth voice of his, “Merry Christmas Alexia.  You make the most unbelievably sexy noises when I’m kissing you.”

I was speechless. He ran the back of his finger across my cheek and smiled. I wanted to touch every single inch of his body.  I could’ve stood there staring at him like an idiot all night long.

“Are you okay?” he finally asked me.

I cleared my throat and shook my head slightly.  “Um yes, I’m good. Fine, thanks.”

Hell no I’m not okay. I’m so fucking toast. I’m done for here...no resistance. What am I going to do???

I heard a soft chuckle escape from his lips before he asked, “Shall we go?”

I just kept staring at the man and nodded.

We walked outside and I climbed into his Porsche 911. Of course, what else would he drive? He didn’t live but a few blocks from me on New Street.

“I could’ve walked,” I commented.

“Yes, but I came from my parents’ house.  I picked you up on the way home.”

Well, that made sense.  We entered his home and it was lovely.  Not overdone or stark like so many of the remodeled homes of today.  It was really perfect.  He had impeccable taste.  He had a series of beautiful paintings that lined the walls. 

“This artwork is really amazing.”

“Thanks. She’s a local artist. Laurie Meyer is her name.  I fell in love with her work a few years back and now I try to pick up some of her pieces whenever I can. She travels to various places and paints scenes from wherever she goes.  She doing a lot from Italy right now.”

“Makes me want to go.”

“Maybe we can work that in sometime.”

I smiled, loving the idea but knowing it would never be.

“Can I get you a glass of chardonnay?”

“Only if that’s what you’re having.”

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t want you to open a bottle just for me.”

“Alexia, I’d open the world just for you.”

Okay, that’s so not what I expected him to say.

“You don’t have to respond to that.  Is chardonnay your beverage of choice or would you prefer something else?”

I smiled, “Chardonnay would be excellent.”

He was the perfect gentleman. He handed me the glass of wine and poured himself one too.  We both grinned.  He put the bottle in a chiller and we headed to a living area.

“Have a seat and make yourself at home.”

He left for a moment and then I heard the music.  It was classical.  I should have guessed that.  I knew some classical music, but not much.

He joined me again and said, “Don’t worry, it’s not all classical.  I’m not that dreary.  It’s a mix.”

“I like classical. I think it’s beautiful.”

He looked at me intently and said, “I think you’re telling me the truth and not just saying that.”

I looked at him then and his eyes were so captivating.

We both started to speak at the same time and then we laughed.

He said, “You go first.”

“I was just going to tell you that you have amazing eyes.”

He laughed really hard then and said, “That’s interesting because I was going to tell you the exact same thing. Your eyes are quite lovely Alexia.  And I adore your name.  It’s beautiful. As is all of you.”

My oh my. What to say now?

“I need to tell you something Pearce.  Maybe this will bring to light a bit of me and my issues. Do you even want to hear it?”

“A part of me doesn’t...at least not tonight.  I just want it to be you and me. Without anything else between us. But then the other part of me wants to get it out of the way.”

“I don’t know if I’ll have to courage to bring this up again.”

“Then by all means, you should tell me.”

“A little over three years ago, the guy I was seriously dating was killed in a car wreck.”

“Ah, I see.”

“No, you don’t.  The thing is, we’d gotten into this huge fight.  Yelling at each other.  Pretty ugly actually.  It was about us getting married.  Anyway, I was really upset and I stormed out of the restaurant we were in.  He followed and begged me not to leave. I didn’t listen and got in my car, so he jumped in too and we headed down the road.
It had been raining. We were still screaming at each other in the car.  It was all so stupid.  You know...hindsight, twenty-twenty and all. Anyway, I flew around this curve, lost control of the car and it flipped. The car ended up wrapped around a tree.  Peter was killed instantly.  I walked away with a few bruises. You know the typical story.  You see this crap all the time I’m sure. So this whole thing has really fucked me up and I’ve been dealing with it in a not so healthy way that we maybe can discuss at some later time.  I just thought you needed to know that.”