Authors: Brenda Rothert
A thread of white-hot anger wove its way into my chest. “What are the cops doing there?”
“I don’t know. There was, um, another car involved, and—”
“Was he drunk?”
“I don’t know.”
“Don’t fucking lie to me, Lindy.” This ominous, measured tone was reserved for when I was truly pissed. “Remember who put you though college and bought your apartment. Was he drunk?”
“I—” Her voice broke. “That’s what they want to test his blood for and question him about, I think. What should I do?”
“Nothing,” I said sharply.
“But …? Can you call an attorney?”
“Why the fuck would I do that?” I demanded, crouching to the floor to drop my head between my legs and slow the dizzying rush of blood.
“He could get in serious trouble.” Lindy’s admonishing tone made me want to lash out with my fists and damage something.
“Sounds like he already did.”
“Yeah, but … he’s in so much pain. That’s punishment enough.”
I shook my head at her stupidity. “Are the other people hurt? The ones he hit?”
“I think they’ll be okay. The lady has a sling on her arm.”
“What a stupid, selfish bastard,” I muttered.
“Luke—”
“Do
not
defend him. He doesn’t think of anything but himself and his next drink. I’ve had it.”
“When you see him, you’ll—”
I cut her off, standing up. “I’m not coming.”
“But you said—”
“That was before I found out he was drunk. I’m done, Lindy. He cheated on Mom and stole from her. She died brokenhearted because of that lowlife asshole. He’d goddamned lucky he didn’t kill someone.”
“He doesn’t have anyone else.” Lindy’s hurt tone disgusted me.
“That’s his doing. I’m done. I’m calling my accountant and cutting the money off. I won’t support this behavior.”
“You need to step back and think about this.”
“No, I don’t,” I said, the energy draining from my body as I leaned against the wall. “I won’t give him another dime. If I do, the next time this happens it’ll be on my hands. Tell him I’ll pay for rehab, and it’ll be a check from me to the rehab place. That’s all he’s ever getting from me again.”
Lindy laughed bitterly. “Nice of you to leave me to tell him that.”
“You don’t have to. My accountant can leave him a voicemail.”
“Luke, he’s our father.”
“Yeah, and a fucked up one at that. I’m just money to him. Money to get wasted and entertain women with. Fuck that.”
Lindy sighed. I felt bad for her; she didn’t have the emotional strength to see what she needed to see.
“Look, do yourself a favor and get the hell out of there,” I said. “You don’t need to fix this for him. You can’t. And you’re gonna lose my respect if you try.”
“But—” Her voice broke again. “He could go to jail.”
“I hope he does. He didn’t have to drive drunk, he chose to. He needs to dry out and think about all the damage he’s done.”
“Luke?” The sound of Dell’s voice calling my name from outside the weight room brought me back to where I was.
“Lindy, I have to go. Listen, go home and rest, okay?”
“I don’t know. I might.”
A thought occurred to me, though I hated to bring it up. “If I find out you borrowed against your apartment to get him an attorney, I’ll never do anything for you again.”
Dell walked in as I was speaking, and she gave me an apologetic cringe and turned to go. I held a hand up to stop her.
“Thanks, Luke,” Lindy said sarcastically, hanging up. I exhaled deeply and met Dell’s eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Tanner couldn’t find you, and your suit was still hanging there … I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
I nodded.
“You don’t look okay,” she said. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Can you come in and close the door?”
She pushed the steel door closed and leaned against it.
“My dad’s a drunk who caused an accident tonight,” I said, sinking down to sit on a weight bench. “I was talking to my sister.”
Silence hung in the air as she walked over and sat down next to me.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now.”
I shook my head with disgust. “He ruins lives. That’s all he’s good at. He ruined my mom and she never recovered.”
Dell laid a hand on top of the one I had resting on my thigh. The silent gesture of encouragement made me want to tell her more.
“He cheated on her,” I said, staring at the rows of weights lined up against the wall. “And she wouldn’t leave him. She looked the other way, but she knew. Then she got sick and he was too busy running around to be with her.”
I’d never talked about this with anyone but Lindy, and our conversations always grew into arguments when she defended Dad’s behavior. Dell wasn’t offering an opinion; she just listened, which was nice.
“And he ruined me. He was a hockey player, too, but he washed out of the pros fast. So he made me into the player he never was. I missed out on a lot growing up because hockey always came first. I’m not bitching or anything – hockey’s been good to me. But when I got hurt, I looked around and saw
nothing
. Without hockey, I’ve got
nothing
.”
She squeezed my hand and I held tight to hers, running my thumb over her knuckles. This was the only contact we’d ever had that wasn’t work-related. She was touching me right now because she wanted to, not because she had to.
“That’s not true,” she said. “You’re more than just a hockey player.”
“I’m really not, Dell. I let my dad lead me down this path, so I’ve got no one but myself to blame. I’ve got no purpose if I’m not playing the game.”
“You’ve never had a reason to look for other purpose, but someday you will, and you’ll find it. You’re smart and sweet and loyal and so dedicated. I think you’ll excel at anything you put your mind to.”
Her eyes glistened with honesty and my heart tugged. This was uncharted territory for me. I was feeling something here, and it had nothing to do with her looks. And the words of admiration she’d just melted me with had nothing to do with mine.
I cleared my throat and looked back at the rows of weights. She broke my focus, and I couldn’t have that right now. Not when it was already spiraling away because of my dad’s massive fuck-up.
“Guess the guys are going out to celebrate,” I said. “That was a hell of a game.”
“It sure was,” she said, a smile in her voice. “I suggest you head out with them. They won’t take no for an answer, and I bet it’ll feel good.”
“Are you coming?”
She shook her head. “No, I should get home to Kyler.”
“It’s close to ten. Isn’t he asleep?”
She sighed softly. “Yeah. But still. Good mommies don’t go out and get wasted and then go home to their kid.”
“You wouldn’t have to drink.”
“I’d be a buzz kill. Women are more likely to approach the guys if I’m not there.”
“Fuck that,” I said, laughing. “They’ll get laid if they’re looking to, don’t worry.”
Her smile faded and I thought about what I’d said. Did she think I wanted to go out and get laid?
“I’d rather take you up on dinner than go out,” I said.
“Tonight?” She turned to me, surprised.
“We’ll call it a practice dinner, maybe. If you want to get dressed up and go out again, that’d be good.”
Her gaze dropped to her lap. “I can’t do anything that even looks like a date with a player. Not that you’re asking for a date, I know.”
“We’ll keep it on the low, okay? I’d really like to talk to you some more.”
“Okay.” Her voice was reluctant, but her expression was warm and eager. I was used to being able to figure women out pretty quick, but I hadn’t been able to do that with Dell. She was interested in me, I could tell that. But she held tight to her commitment to the team and to being a good mom. I admired that.
A battle was starting to rage inside me. I wanted to get closer to her, but was that best for her? Everything about her was uncharted territory for me – from not being able to touch her to considering whether I was good for her. But when I was near her, all bets were off. Even if it was just conversation, I wanted to be with her more than anyone tonight.
***
Dell
There wasn’t much chance we’d run into anyone from the team at the little Italian place on the outskirts of the city that Luke drove us to. We’d even dropped my car off at my place so no one would see it in the parking lot and wonder who I was with.
He slipped the waiter a bill and asked for a private table. After a glance at the denomination in his palm, the waiter led us to a back room with the lights off. He flipped a switch and a dim glow filled the small room.
“Will this be okay, sir?”
“Perfect. Thanks.”
The last time I’d been out for dinner with a man had been … college, maybe? The flutter in my stomach was probably just from being out of practice.
I glanced down at my team sweatshirt and yoga pants. “I feel underdressed.”
Luke took off his suit jacket, hanging it over the back of his chair. “I’d be in jeans if I could.”
“You look good in suits.”
“What about the rest of the time?”
I shrugged. “You’re okay, I guess.”
“Not your type?” His voice was light and playful.
“You’re a hockey player.”
He rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, glancing up at me. “Don’t hold that against me.”
I busied myself lining up my silverware. “Okay, you’re really hot. You already know that, though.”
He shook his head. “Women don’t go after pro athletes for our looks. It’s like with rock stars – some of ’em are ugly as fuck, but they’ve got their pick of women.”
I laughed at his assessment. “Trust me, jersey chasers are after the whole package with you – looks included.”
“Already talking about my package? I like a woman who gets right to the point.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure your package gets plenty of attention already.”
“Not lately.”
The waiter returned for our drink order. I was sticking to water since I didn’t drink much, and Luke asked for a dark beer. When the waiter left, Luke turned to me, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
“You’re quite the motivator, Miss Price,” he said.
I shrugged and smiled. “You’re a great player. You won’t have any trouble scoring on the team we’re playing tomorrow night.”
He leaned back in his seat, spreading his knees and relaxing. “I respond well to incentive – as you found out tonight. What can I get for scoring tomorrow night?”
The innuendo in his tone sent a warm rush through my body. “I … uh, I don’t know. What do you want?”
“So many answers to that question,” he said softly, his blue eyes locked on mine. “But since I have to keep my hands to myself … I’d love for you to tell me one of your fantasies.”
“Fantasies? I’m not very exciting.”
“You’re plenty exciting. I just want you to tell me what you like.”
What I liked? I didn’t even know. It had been so long, and wasn’t sex just sex, anyway?
“Okay,” I agreed. “Score and I’ll … try.”
The waiter returned with our drinks and we ordered. Luke was having a full-size salad, lasagna and a sandwich. The guys always worked up a huge appetite playing a game.
As much as I wanted to talk fantasies with him, I had a nagging feeling he was down. The waiter had barely gotten out of the room and Luke’s beer bottle was nearly half empty.
“So where will you go from here with your dad?” I asked.
Luke scrubbed a hand down his face and sighed deeply. “I can’t do it anymore. He stresses me out. If I fuck up in a game, I’m barely even dressed in the locker room and my phone’s ringing. He’s shitfaced every time and he bitches me out and tells me I’m gonna get cut from the team.”
“Is he still with your mom?”
The corners of his mouth dropped down and he shook his head. “She died of cancer when I was in high school.”
“I’m so sorry. That must’ve been really hard.”
“She was always my number one fan. My parents both came to every game, but she built me up when I had a bad one. My dad pounded me into the ground over the bad ones.”
“Were your parents together when she passed away?”
“Yeah. But my dad was running around on her and drinking too much even back then.”
The sadness in his voice made me want to walk around the table and hug him. His dark expression cleared and he looked over at me.
“Are your parents still together?”
I nodded. “They’re a good match. My dad’s overbearing and my mom’s laid back. He travels so much that they both kind of do their own thing a lot. When they’re together, they like to come get Kyler and take him places together.”
“All the way from Nashville?”
I smiled. “Kyler’s the son Dad never had.”
“You’re everything a parent could want.”
I arched my brows. “Not Butch Price. I’m not a hockey player.”
“Does he get involved with Kyler’s hockey?”
“Oh, yeah. It’s a big source of conflict for us.”
Luke grinned at me. “You and your dad fight?”
“Like cats and dogs.”
“I’m impressed you’re not afraid to stand up to him.”
“I don’t play hockey, but I was raised in it. I’ve never been a wallflower.”
“What about Kyler’s dad? Is he around?”
I shook my head. “No, but he comes to see Kyler once a month and for two weeks in the summer.”
“So you’re pretty much on your own with Kyler then.”
“My friend Sadie is a big help. She lives with us and takes care of him when I’m working.”
“The one you wanted to fix me up with?”
My cheeks warmed as I remembered that conversation. “Yes.”
“I hope you’re not still thinking about that.”
“No … I’m not.”
He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it and just looked at me.
“What?” I asked.
“I was just gonna say that if things were different – if I wasn’t a hockey player and you weren’t a hockey trainer, I’d be asking you out right now.”
I had to stop myself from babbling like an excited teenager. If I said anything right now, it would sound stupid. Instead I smiled silently.
“Say something,” he said. “I can tell you’re thinking something.”