Edith Layton (26 page)

He took her hands in his and held them as he looked down at her. Something in her face made him go grim around the mouth. His voice grew harsh. “Look what you’ve done! You brought me to life, you can’t leave me now. I woke up this morning and almost frightened poor Grimes to death! I
sang
as I washed. Sang? The truth is I felt like dancing. I dreamed of you and woke to the thought of you, and dressed and came right to you, and now you say you’re leaving? Oh no
you
don’t! If I have to truss you up the way I told the others to say you’d been tied by Fitch, I’ll keep you here until I can get you to the altar.”

Her lips trembled with sorrow and laughter. “Don’t let your gallantry ruin your life. You don’t have to repay me any more than you did when you left my house. In neither case is it necessary, and this is so much more than a handful of gold.”

He frowned in incomprehension.

“The gold coins you left under your pillow,” she said, and looked down, because she was shamed she hadn’t brought them to London to return to him.

“Gold coins?” he murmured. Then comprehension lit his eyes and his face grew tight. “So that’s what he was doing! My father kept me waiting in the coach because he said he’d left something in my room. I’m sorry, did that upset you? He had no right.”

“But he did,” she said, glad of something to pounce on for her argument. “That’s just the point! Think of the reality. I have, believe me. I’m a foundling. I’m no one, with no rank or fortune or even a real name! I’m not the goose girl whose nobility shone through her rags so the prince knew she was a princess. I’m just a woman you found yourself entangled with. I did you a favor, you felt grateful. You like me, I’m glad of it. You feel responsible for me, I grant that. You desired me, but you’d never have made love to me under any other circumstances, I know that too. You don’t have to marry me. You’ll hate me one day if you do, and you’ll bless me if you don’t, you’ll see.”

He held her with his blue unblinking stare. “Think of your father,” she went on, almost pleading. “You can’t do it to him. He has Lady Annabelle in his eye for you, or one of those other fine London ladies. Your offer honors me. I respectfully decline. But I’ll remember and I’m grateful for it.”

“I love my father, but I don’t want to marry him,” Drum said through gritted teeth. “I don’t want to have children with him, or share his bed. I love him, but he’s just going to have to learn to love me if I don’t always obey him. I’m no longer a boy. He deserves no less than a man for his son. As for Annabelle? He
can keep her in his eye, or his ear, or his a—wherever he chooses,” he said wildly. “I am
not
a human sacrifice,” he added, as much to her as to himself.

“I know who you are,” he said, concentrating on her. “Goose girl be damned! We’re not talking about fairy stories. You’re the right woman for me. Never doubt it. Why do you think I never married any of those ‘fine London ladies’? Or Lisbon ladies, Roman ladies, or women of any class or kind? Because I never met you. I was willing to sail through life without even feeling a breeze, that’s no way to live. I admit I thought my name and my father’s desires were paramount. But they aren’t now. They haven’t been since I met you. By God, Ally, I built you a damned
barn!
”

In the midst of all her doubt and turmoil, that made her grin. Reluctantly, he did too.

“I didn’t know why then,” he went on. “I only knew I wanted to do something splendid for you. I still do. I asked Gilly to invite you here because I couldn’t stop thinking of you. And if yesterday hadn’t happened, something else would have, believe me. Yesterday just hurried things along, thank God. As for rank and position in society? This is 1821, my dear. We’re marching into the thick of a new century. The world’s changing. We must too. What’s in a name, Ally? Only what we make of it. I remember thinking, before I was shot off my horse,
Why do men say they
fall
in love?
I never understood. Until I did, literally.”

He grinned. “True, I was a hardened case and so I had to fall harder and more often than most men—off my horse, on my head, into your bed and your care and then your good graces. But once there I knew that’s where I belonged. I don’t pretend to understand it. I’ve
always tried too hard, I think. Now I see love’s a thing you feel but may never understand. It defies reason. Gloriously.”

“It’s just because of…it’s because of what we did,” she said. “That doesn’t matter.”

“To hell it doesn’t!” he shouted. “It was astonishing, don’t deny it. Unless…” He paused, his face still. “Do you regret it? Was it bad for you, after all?”

“It was wonderful!” she cried.

“Then listen!” he said grimly. He gripped her shoulders hard, as though he longed to shake her. She blinked. He dropped his hands as though her skin were oven hot, took a deep breath and gazed in surprise at his two hands. “I’m a man of utmost control,” he marveled. “And look—you’re making me lose it again. That’s just it. My control was a mark of pride with me. I was cool and collected, but in fact, I was numb as an amputated thumb. I only know it now because of you.”

He looked at her tenderly. “Ally, I didn’t have a shred of control when it came to you. I meant to kiss you and let you sleep. I meant to cuddle with you, then say good-night. I made the most remarkable love to you because I couldn’t help myself. It never happened before, and will never again with any woman but you. Marry me. Unless, of course,” he said, unconsciously lifting his head so he looked almost disdainful, “the thought of spending your life with me repels you?”

“You asked for Gilly’s hand once,” she said softly, “when you thought she needed you and it was the right thing to do. You will always act out of kindness for those in need.”

“Yes,” he said impatiently. “And that’s why I’ve married so many times, which is what I’d have to do if
I were so kind. England’s stuffed with foundlings, orphans, and widows. And though I might have offered for Gilly, I never told her I loved her. I never told
anyone
that but you. I can’t believe I actually said it. By God, don’t you remember I said it? If you don’t, I’ll do it again. It’s such a pleasure to say,” he added, grinning like a boy. “I love you, Ally.”

“But you told everyone to say we had no chance to do anything…together last night,” she said, the hurt she’d felt clear in her voice and eyes.

“You wanted me to brag about it?” he asked incredulously. “I shouldn’t have lost my head, I shouldn’t have compromised you, I’m not proud of that. And I didn’t want any more talk about us than there will be. There’ll be some, you know. Are you afraid of that?”

“Aren’t you?” she asked.

He smiled. “I quite look forward to dealing with whomever dares.”

She had to protest. She couldn’t accept so much joy, it seemed wrong, it seemed fantastical.

He misunderstood her silence. “Ally,” he said a little desperately, “I need you.”

That
she could deny. “Oh, do you?” she asked angrily. “Why would you need me? Look at what you have. Everything.”

“Everything but a heart,” he agreed. “When I volunteered to spy and fight for my country, it was the only time I felt alive—until now. I’m a glib fellow, and know I should tell you it’s because you’re beautiful. I ought to praise your grace and charm, and so on and on. That’s all true too, but it doesn’t matter. I only know that from the moment I met you, I was yours. Any other reservations?” he asked, seeing her waver
ing. “Because I tell you, my title be damned. I begin to think it mattered so much to me because it was the only thing I had that I was sure would lure the ladies.”

She grinned at that great lie. But he shook his head. “The truth is I’m not the most handsome fellow. No, don’t try to spare my feelings. The nose is a proud family emblem only because since there’s no way we can cut it off we might as well say we like it. I’m aware of the fact that it gives my face all the appeal of an affronted camel. Nor am I nearly the wisest or the best-tempered man—almost, but not quite.” He saw her reluctant grin, and added very seriously, “But one thing I do know: I’m the right one for you. Your answer, please.”

But he knew it. Her expression told him before she could. He smiled, took her in his arms, and kissed her until she wanted to agree with anything he said. Still, the minute he released her she held on to his shoulders for balance and gasped, “Oh, but your father! You can’t do it.”

“I can,” he said, his own eyes blazing. “What I can’t do is debate it endlessly. Say yes. Believe in me. We’ll have such a good time. The boys will live with us. We’ll have children, we’ll take in more, we’ll enrich our lives and others. Ally, we came so close to losing it all, let’s win it back again.”

There was really nothing she could say. So she said yes. Then he didn’t let her say anything else for a long time.

T
HE
D
UKE OF
W
INTERTON STROLLED INTO THE
room in the midst of a celebration. He stripped off his gloves and gazed at his son. Drum had his arm around Alexandria. They were in the center of a crowd of his friends, the Ryders, Lord Raphael Dalton and his lady, and his old friend Eric. They were holding glasses of champagne. The duke was sure of that, he couldn’t mistake the sight and scent of a good champagne. He paused in the doorway of the Ryders’ salon, and cleared his throat. Then again, more loudly. They finally turned to look at him, and appalled silence fell over them all.

Drum knew his father was intensely interested as he walked into the room to join them. He could tell by his father’s casual look. Drum could feel Alexandria’s body grow still, and his own throat grew dry. “Sir,” he said, “give you good day.”

“You’re celebrating?” the duke asked mildly. “You found and finished off the man who tried to kill you, I
understand. Or so everyone in London is saying. I heard it three times just on the way here from my town house. I was given to understand that he tried again here in London, and you annihilated him. Congratulations.”

Color came into Drum’s face, he took his arm from around Alexandria, clasping her hand instead to steady her—and himself. He’d wanted to tell his father the news of his engagement in private. He’d meant to take the brunt of whatever storm would break over his own head. But if he didn’t tell him here and now, Alexandria would be terribly hurt, and he couldn’t have that. He braced himself. He’d slain his dragons and won his lady, but now he had to win the approval of the man he most respected. Or not. He’d cast his dice and he would go on. He loved his father, but he loved Alexandria, and though he didn’t want to choose between them he realized he already had.

“Congratulations of another sort are in order, Father,” he said. “Alexandria has pledged to marry me, sir. Wish me happy.”

The room went still. The duke’s expression didn’t change, but Drum could see some of the rigidity go out of his posture, and he was stricken. There was no way around it, but it hurt him to hurt his father. He didn’t know how vulnerable he himself looked at that moment, not at all like the urbane Earl of Drummond. Nor did he know how well that vulnerability became him in Alexandria’s eyes.

Some of those watching him bit back satisfied smiles, some sighed. All worried. Drum held Alexandria’s hand tight and waited for his father’s next words. They all did.

“I wish you happy,” the duke said mildly. He took Alexandria’s other hand. “I have wanted a daughter for some time now, my dear. Welcome to the family.”

She stared at him, incapable of words. She’d dreaded this moment. Of all the things she’d rehearsed to say, nothing was appropriate. Of all the reactions she might have guessed he’d have, this was never one of them. She was prepared for scorn or sarcasm, even outright anger. Never this charming smile. She didn’t know what to say.

For once, neither did Drum. His friends were mute, astonished.

The duke didn’t seem to notice. He smiled at Alexandria. “Mrs. Tooke has never left off singing your praises. I began to think that if this slowtop wouldn’t have you, he was a fool. But we do not have fools in our family. Well done, Drum.”

“You’ve spoken to Mrs. Tooke again?” Drum asked pointlessly, because it was the only thing he could think to say.

“Yes. While continuing my inquiries I had to return to the scene of the original crime several times, of course. Mrs. Tooke was most hospitable to me, and as she dotes on Miss Gascoyne, I know she’ll be more than merely happy to hear this news. Don’t look so shocked because I am happy as well,” he said with a thin smile, noting everyone’s expressions.

“My dear,” he told Alexandria sympathetically, “please never fear me. I know all. Mrs. Tooke told me everything about that ghastly Gascoyne, and I congratulate you on your courage and resourcefulness. Nobility of purpose and person is all important, more so than titles. It is how those titles were attained in the first
place, you see. Drummond’s own ancestry, which I’ve never been able to get him sufficiently interested in, by the way, holds many surprises, if he’d but care to look. As a countrywoman you must know that the best breeding is not always inbreeding along strict blood-lines, but rather a careful choosing for the right traits and abilities. Which you have, my dear, in plenty.

“I wish to see my grandchildren. I should like to be an influence on them, if you don’t object. Time’s flying, no one is more aware of that than I am. Perhaps your episode yesterday made you aware of it too. It’s past time my son was wed. I’m relieved he’s ending his bachelorhood and am well pleased with his decision, though I’m old and wise enough to know it doesn’t matter, because I raised him to stand behind his decisions, and he has made his choice.”

He raised his head higher and looked at Drum, seeming for once to be slightly uneasy. “Speaking of which, I’ve some news for you myself. I suppose this is the best time and place to tell you, because it’s also of a matrimonial nature. I don’t wish to steal your thunder, my dear,” he told Alexandria, “but at my age, matrimony isn’t a thing to be delayed, don’t you agree?”

She could only nod.

He did too. His cool blue gaze locked with Drum’s. “I don’t know how you feel about acquiring a new mother as well as a new bride, but that is the case. I’ve chosen a bride myself. I tried to push you into marriage. That was a mistake. But it was a fortunate one, because I learned from it. A man must find what’s in his own heart. I did. The quest for a wife for you made me see the advantages of such a union, even for such an ancient fellow as myself. You may believe I’m be
ing hasty, perhaps at my age even foolish, but a man in love must follow his heart, and be damned to all else, don’t you agree?”

Drum hid his dismay. If his father wanted Annabelle, if it made him happy, so be it. He rued it, but accepted it. “Indeed, sir. Congratulations. When may I wish the lady happy?”

“Almost at once. I’ve asked her to follow me to London. Oh, and don’t worry, my dear,” he told Alexandria. “She’s bringing the boys with her.”

“The boys?” Alexandria asked, confused.

“Indeed, she’d hardly leave them alone, would she?” the duke said. “In fact, it’s Rosalind’s devotion to her loved ones, her warm and giving nature, that made me see I’d found a gem in her, one I couldn’t leave behind. We two have a history in common. We shared many memories and found we could build more from them. She genuinely loved her husband, as I did your mama,” he added, to Drum, “but there is time yet, we think, for more love in our lives.”

“You’re marrying
Mrs. Tooke
?” Drum asked, amazed.

“Why, of course. You disapprove?”

“God! Never!” Drum said, laughing. “Only I thought it was…Never mind who I thought it was, you’ve delighted me.”

“I’m not such a fool as to marry a woman young enough to be my daughter,” the duke said haughtily. “I want a wife, not another child. Though, if that does happen, because there still exists the possibility that it might, I’d be very pleased and can only hope you would be too.”

“Of course,” Drum said, smiling. “I always wanted a brother.”

The duke’s high cheekbones turned ruddy. “I’ll admit,” he said quickly, “at one time I believed it would serve my purposes if you thought I might be courting the Lady Annabelle. She’s young and lovely, that’s undeniable,” he added, with a sidewise glance at Eric, who was listening closely. “But I believe she needs to learn what we already have, that marriage is not a means of advancement or a matter of expediency. There is somewhere a man for her. If she never finds him, I pity her. But I’d pity her more had she married you without her heart or yours being involved. You have a great one, Drum. I’m grateful to your lady for discovering it for you.”

Drum drew Alexandria closer to his side. “I’m eternally grateful to her. Such an easy lesson it was, after all. I only needed the right teacher.” His eyes were on Alexandria. “She protested she had no rank or name. But her rank is above all women for me, and her name is mine to call ‘wife’ and that’s all I want. Wish me more than happy, Father.”

“I don’t have to,” the duke said. “You are and will be. I wish you joy and good fortune.”

“He has it!” Gilly cried. “As do you too, Your Grace! What fun! Two marriages. Shall they be held together? A double wedding?”

“Gilly!”
Drum said with loathing.

“Mrs. Ryder!”
his father said in exactly matching tones.

Alexandria laughed, and shed a tear, and laughed again.

“Weeping?’ Drum whispered as the others began to talk together. “What a watering pot you’ve become.”

“It’s because I can’t remember ever being happier.”
She laughed, then grew serious. “But you know? Even so, unimaginable as it is, I begin to see that someday I might be.
We
might be.”

He brought her hand to his lips. “Depend on it,” he said.

A man of decision and resolve, he kept his promise, of course.