Eggs Benedict Arnold (11 page)

“
What do you mean, a new job?
”
asked Toni.
“
I thought
you were still working at Shelby
’
s Body Shop. Please don
’
t
tell me you got fired. Again.
”

“
No, no, nothing like that,
”
said Junior, suddenly look
ing
a little smug.
“
I should
’
ve been more specific. What I
meant to say was I
’
ve taken on
another
job. You girls think
I want to fix fenders and do paint touch-ups all my life? No
way. Not this
paisano
.
”

“
You have a second job?
”
asked Suzanne. That Junior was able to hold down one job was remarkable. That he
’
d taken on a second job was an alert-the-media event.

“
I
’
m double-dipping from the trough of commerce!
”
Junior chortled, as he greedily stuffed a cucumber and cream cheese sandwich into his mouth. He seemed delighted with
his mini bombshell.

“
Better not let Shelby
’
s hear you talk like that or they
’
ll bounce you on your skinny butt and send you packing,
”
warned Toni.
“
You haven
’
t even been there six months. Aren
’
t you still on probation?
”

“
Probation
’
s a way of life with Junior,
”
muttered Petra, who had returned and was now banging pots and pans in the kitchen.

“
What is this other job, anyway?
”
Suzanne asked him.

Junior hunched his shoulders and looked slightly evasive.
“
I got a kind of delivery service going.
”

“
And what is it you deliver?
”
asked Suzanne, praying one of their suppliers hadn
’
t hired Junior to schlep eggs and milk all over the county.

“
Yeah,
”
said Toni.
“
And where exactly are you deliver
ing it to?
”
She
’
d noticed Suzanne
’
s suspicion toward Junior. Now she was feeling that way, too.

Junior puffed out his chest, trying to look important.
“
Are you kidding? They got me running all over the doggone place. Supposed to drive up to Minneapolis tonight and then to Des Moines next Wednesday.
”

“
And just what is it you
’
re delivering?
”
Suzanne asked again.

“
Auto parts,
”
snapped Junior. The fact that he said it a little too quickly and the answer sounded a little too rehearsed made Suzanne doubly suspicious.

“
That
’
s interesting,
”
said Suzanne.
“
Because I thought most parts supply places had their own fleet of delivery trucks and drivers.
”

“
Yeah,
”
said Toni.
“
You see those panel trucks with the
little orange caps on top driving around all the time.
”

Junior
’
s scowl was almost menacing.
“
Why can
’
t you girls ever be happy for me? Why do you have to put me down all the time? Bash me like all I am is some stupid
piñata
.
”

“
Maybe because you always seem to be just
th
is side of
the law?
”
Suzanne shot back.
“
Maybe because you were
miserably remiss in giving your wife the love and devotion
she deserved? And now you
’
re dragging your clodhoppers
when it comes to giving Toni a well-earned, well-deserved
divorce.
”

“
What if she don
’
t want one?
”
asked Junior.

“
Oh, she wants one,
”
chimed in Petra.

“
Don
’
t
you just wonder what Junior
’
s up to?
”
Suzanne
asked Toni as
they
set the tables for tomorrow
’
s breakfast.
“
Huh?
”
asked Toni as she piled sugar cubes into antique
china sugar bowls they
’
d picked up at area tag sales.
“
What I
’
m saying,
”
said Suzanne,
“
is I hope Junior
’
s not
involved in anything illegal.
”

Toni looked thoughtful.
“
Like what?
”

“
Oh,
”
said Suzanne.
“
Maybe like ... drugs?
”

Toni looked startled.
“
He wouldn
’
t do that. Junior
’
s not
that
idiotic.
”

Suzanne gazed at Toni and lifted an eyebrow.

“
Okay,
”
hedged Toni,
“
Junior may be one taco short of a
combo plate, but I doubt he
’
s involved in drugs!
”

“
I don
’
t know,
”
said Suzanne, still not convinced.
“
You
hear all these rumors about meth labs in rural areas. Just like in big cities, a lot of small towns have terrible prob
lems with stuff like crystal meth and methamphetamines.
”

“
Holy buckets,
”
said Toni.
“
Sheriff Burney over in Deer
County busted a meth lab just last month.
”

Suzanne finished folding a linen napkin into a tricky
bishop
’
s hat, then suddenly frowned and looked up, a ques
tion clouding her face.

“
What?
”
asked Toni.

“
What if Ozzie
’
s murder was related to drugs?
”
said Su
zanne.
“
What if he was killed by some amateur meth lab chemists who were desperate for chemicals?
”

“
That
’
s quite a brainstorm,
”
allowed Toni.
“
You oughta
give Sheriff Doogie a jingle and share your theory with him.
”

“
Last time I shared anything with Doogie it was a basket
of onion rings,
”
said Suzanne.
“
And that
’
s just
‘
cause he sat
down and started helping himself.
”

Satisfied
they were set up for tomorrow, Suzanne and Petra wandered into the Knitting Nest. This was clearly
Petra
’
s domain
—she being a confirmed knitter and quilter.
Now she was fussing about happily, arranging skeins of mohair yarn, alpaca, and even a few skeins of cash
m
ere
. She
’
d stocked up like mad and was obviously ecstatic about the big Knit-In this Thursday. At last count, she had almost thirty women coming.

“
So how does this Knit-In work?
”
asked Toni.
“
Is everyone going to start a new project or will they bring stuff
they
’
ve been working on?
”

“
A little of both,
”
said Petra, dumping an assortment of knitting needles into a large, flat basket.
‘
The important thing is, all our knitters have gotten pledges from friends
and families. And all the finished garments will be put on
sale and the money given to charity.
”

“
You are such a sweetheart,
”
said Suzanne. She fingered
a cowl-collared shawl that was hanging on the wall. It was knitted with Noro yarn from Japan and done in subtle col
ors of rust, orange, blue, and yellow.
“
Did you knit this?
”

Petra nodded.

“
And it
’
s for sale?
”
asked Suzanne.

“
Oh sure,
”
said Petra.

“
Then put a red dot on it for me, will you?
”
said Suzanne.
“
Like those fancy art galleries do, to mark a piece sold.
”

“
La-di-da,
”
sang Toni.
“
Suzanne
’
s been to an art gallery.
”

“
It was more of a framing store,
”
said Suzanne.
“
Over in Cornucopia.
”

Plopping down in one of their squishy chairs, Toni wig
gled her butt and unfurled her latest issue of the
National Inquisitor.
Petra didn
’
t approve of Toni
’
s subscription to the Hollywood gossip rag, but it was one of Toni
’
s guilty
little pleasures. Like Suzanne
’
s passion for chocolate. And fine Bordeaux wine. And Sarabeth
’
s peach preserves from
Dean & DeLuca. And a few other things she couldn
’
t go into detail on.

“
Lookie this,
”
said Toni, holding up a page.
“
Here
’
s a photo of Jessica Simpson wearing a checked shirt a lot
like mine.
”
She squinted at the grainy color photo.
“
Except
she
’
s got more in the cha-cha department.
”

“
Give her another fifteen years,
”
said Petra,
“
then she
’
ll be well acquainted with the indisputable laws of gravity.
”

Toni grabbed a copy of the Kindred
Bugle,
turned
to
the back page, and said,
“
Time to check out the personals
column.
”

“
Pass,
”
replied Suzanne.

“
No, really,
”
said Toni.
“
There are some good guys here.
Listen to this one. Outdoorsy guy ...
”

“
That means he shoots baby animals and chews tobacco,
”
said Suzanne.