Elastic Heart (24 page)

As my thoughts started to spiral down that slippery, knife-infested slope that had been my home the past few months, I exhaled. I released the bad thoughts, the breath feeling like noxious gas. Releasing my grip, I stepped into the apartment. Getting over Morris wouldn’t be easy, but I had to start somewhere. Still, that didn’t mean I couldn’t bring my gun along for the ride.

I pulled out my .22 and walked to the couch, picking up the card like it was an explosive. It was cream colored and textured with no identifying features. Just as I was about to open the card, my phone rang. My heart skipped a beat when I saw who was calling and I stumbled, nearly dropping my gun and the card.

“Hello?” I asked, answering on the first ring.

“Did you get my flowers?” Law’s heady, deep brogue was evident even through the crackle of my shitty phone.

I glanced around my apartment. “You sent these? Why?”

“I’m trying to apologize, Nami.” I frowned even though I knew he couldn’t see it. The flowers were extraordinary and breathtaking, but they were just flowers.

“You think a couple of flowers can fix us?” I whispered the words because I almost didn’t want him to hear. I wanted to say I loved the flowers. I wanted to say I was ready to trust him again. I wanted to throw all the shit and garbage that had piled up between us out the window and just roll around in the dandelions.

“No.” Law paused for a minute. “But they’re a start.” I picked up a fully formed dandelion. Its head was round and wispy. Where had Law gotten so many? I thought they were beautiful, but most considered them a weed—not to mention it was the dead of winter in Utah. I blew the head, watching the wisps float away.

“It must have taken a while to get these,” I said at last.

“It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.” I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Over and over again Law had said I was worth something. When I felt useless, he showed me I was useful. Still, a glare the size of an eclipse hung over our relationship, and its name was Morris. Law had lied about so many things, I wasn’t sure where to begin unraveling. “Nami, let me show you something. Let me prove to you that I’m in this.”

“I don’t know…” My fingers trailed across the flowers.

“I’ll pick you up in thirty. Dress for cold weather.” Law hung up the phone, leaving me with that cryptic statement. I was ready to huff and sigh, ready to forget him along with his secrets, when I remembered the letter in my hand. I opened the card and read.

Dandelions for my Dandelion. I would pick a thousand of these everyday if it showed you how much you’re worth.

“So what is this? A kidnapping?” I asked as Law opened the door of his Range Rover for me with a grin. I slid inside, frowning.

“Do you know of many kidnappings that start out like this?” Law shut the door and made his way to the driver’s seat. “I’d be a pretty shitty kidnapper if I let you know where we were going first.”

“You haven’t told me where we’re going,” I pointed out.

Law started the engine and pulled away from the curb. “Boston.”

“Boston?” I rounded on him. “What the fuck is in Boston?” When he’d said, “Dress for cold weather,” I’d thought he was taking me up to Park City. A thirty-minute drive, a romantic cabin—something to go along with the huge display of dandelions. I’d even worn some lingerie. Well, what I considered lingerie: black underwear.

Seriously, what the fuck was in Boston?

“Red Sox,” Law replied, taking the exit for the airport.

I glared out at the gray-white moving picture. “I’ve survived this far without baseball.”

I’d let myself get excited about the idea of a romantic getaway with Law. I knew we had a mountain of issues to work past, but if Law was willing to try… I exhaled and removed my gaze from the window. We were nearing the airport and whatever was in Boston had my attention now. More cryptic crap.

“There’s more to Boston than baseball,” Law said, placing his hand on my thigh.

“Oh yeah?” I replied, my snark getting the better of me. “What’s that?”

“My past.”

Since meeting Law, thorns had formed in my side, thorns borne from his lies. Since the altercation with Becca Riley, though, it felt like Law was methodically attempting to remove them. He told me his truths, and then ripped the lies from their place without any anesthetic.

Still, one thorn remained: Jameson.

“So…” I said, turning my view from the airplane window to Law. “Will this trip explain how you know Jameson?”

Law took a sip of his bourbon and faced me. I’d never flown so nicely. In first class, we were given complimentary drinks, towels—basically anything our hearts desired. I’d taken a bottle of water and Law had ordered a glass of bourbon I couldn’t pronounce. Then again, most of my whiskey came with a sale sticker.

“I was wondering when we were going to talk about that,” he said after another long, slow draught.

I quirked a brow. “So you knew that I knew?”

“Nothing much gets past you, Nami DeGrace,” Law said with a smile. The slow, easy grin punctuated his sculpted jaw, as if it wasn’t chiseled enough. Law was past handsome. He was the type of raw masculinity that could only be portrayed in carved marble. Paintings were too soft a medium; photography dulled its power. Still, I wasn’t so easily swayed.

“Why the fuck didn’t you just tell me you were friends?”

“At the time it was the simplest option.” Law took another long drag of his bourbon. “I was never supposed to fall in love with you, Nami.” He pinned me with his cognac gaze and I reached for my bottle of water. I felt itchy and dehydrated from just his look. As the water slipped down my throat, I felt little comfort. Nothing could ease me and nothing would distract me from the intense, carnal gaze Law ripped into me.

“You know he didn’t take my story,” I rasped, setting my nearly empty water down.

“I know.” Law kept his gaze locked on mine. I felt strangled by it.

Still trying to control my voice, I said the thing that had been bugging me for days. “You know he’s Mormon.” Jameson was the enemy, so why did Law think he could be ally?

Law took another slow sip of his drink and faced me. “Are you upset that I knew Jameson, or are you upset that Jameson is Mormon?”

“Are you accusing me of being xenophobic?” Before Morris, I had been painfully open-minded. I was champion to every marginalized group in the world. The fact that I was wary of Mormons didn’t make me xenophobic, it made me smart. Once you’re burned by something, it’s stupid to continue to trust it won’t do it again.

At least, that’s what I thought. I mean, if I had a nickel for every time I heard someone try and use 9/11 to justify their misgivings about Muslims, or even dark-skinned people…well, I’d be pretty well off. Was that who I’d become?

The cabin was quiet; only the faint sound of air blowing and magazine pages rustling could be heard. I felt queasy as I thought about Law’s question. I looked to him, but he only raised an eyebrow.

“I overheard you both talking,” I said, shaking off the gnawing in my gut. “It has nothing to do with his religion.” Law shot me a look and I folded my arms. “Fine, it has a little bit to do with his religion. But can you blame me? He said I was a stalker and that Morris was a ‘good guy’.” I huffed just thinking about it. “How can you be friends with someone like that?”

“What you heard was only a snapshot of the man I know. He never used to sit in an office. He never used to have a desk job. He was out in the shit. He was digging up what others buried. Now he’s…”

“He’s what?” I demanded.

“He’s lost himself.” Law set down his drink, empty save for the ice cubes wet with brown liquid. “I met Matthew years ago when I was just out of Quantico. It was my first sex trafficking case and he just happened to be reporting on it. He nearly got himself arrested trying to break into the company.”

“I still don’t see how…” Law gripped my arm, forcing the words on my tongue to die. Reluctantly I quieted, instead listening to what he had to say. As Law continued, the grip on my forearm lessened, but only a little.

“When you’re a man of law, you’re tied by it. So tied that sometimes it feels like a noose around your neck. You learn to rely on others to pick up what you can’t. Matthew was that man. He called out the shitbags that hid behind bureaucracy and red tape and lawyers. He got the truth out. He might have saved more lives than me.”

Law released me and I quickly turned my glare back to the window. I didn’t want to combat the fury in his golden gaze, so instead I stared at the clouds below. The Jameson Law described was a far cry from the man I’d met.

“I couldn’t help but fall in love with you.” I felt the ghost of a touch on my back, but just as quickly as I sensed it was it gone. “Your beauty, but beyond that, your mettle. You unearthed me, and I guess I was hoping you would…” Law trailed off.

“You were hoping I would what?” I snapped my head back to his, unsure if the emotion tearing through me was one of anger or yearning.

“I was hoping you would help him find his story again.”

If I thought Utah winters were bad, it was nothing compared to the bitter Massachusetts chill. I gripped my coat, wrapping it tighter around me, as another gust of glacial winter wind whipped my cheek. Despite attempts to keep my stony demeanor, I shivered.

“I told you to bring a coat,” Law said, giving me a look.

“This
is
my coat,” I responded, glaring at Law. It wasn’t like he’d given me much notice. He hadn’t told me where we were going until after we’d gotten in the car. Law sighed and unzipped his jacket.

“What are you doing?” Law put his jacket over my shoulders and placed his hands in his dark jeans. Even though I was instantly warmer, I protested. “I’m not going to take your jacket. You’ll freeze out here!”

“I’ll be fine,” Law said dismissively. “We won’t be out here for long, anyway. I only wanted to show you one thing.”

I shrugged out of the jacket, handing it back to Law. “I’m not going to be the reason for your frostbite.” Law eyed me and the outstretched jacket with slight amusement before turning away. My outstretched hand shivered as the wind twirled around us, whipping bits of snow into small tornados.

“Fine,” I grumbled. I couldn’t take the cold any more and if he didn’t want his coat, then I was going to wear it. Plus, he
did
look fine. Standing with his hands in his pockets, it looked as if he were standing by a fire, not outside a house on a cold Boston street.

“What are we looking at?” I said through shivering teeth. Even Law’s jacket couldn’t keep my face warm. 

“That’s my home.” There was a steely reserve in Law’s words, like he was hiding something. I was used to him hiding from me, though. It was like we were constantly playing a game of truth or dare, and Law always picked dare.

“Why don’t we go inside?” I edged, seeing if he would let on as to why we were standing outside his home and not inside. Plus, I’d have bet it was much warmer in there.

“No one’s there,” Law explained, gaze still transfixed on the snow-covered home. “Well, no one you’d want to meet. Mom and Dad aren’t really present and my sister is gone.” His words stuck in the air, as if frozen by the chill. Neither of us said anything for a while. Though the bitter wind sliced away my warmth and numbed my skin, I didn’t complain. I didn’t even shiver, instead focusing on Law.

His mind was elsewhere again. That tumultuous look only memories could give was evident on his features. A car drove by and the driver leaned out the window, flipped us off, and yelled for us to get out of the middle of the street. Law still didn’t tear his gaze from the house.

“Where’s your sister?” I asked, voice low.

“Not sure.” A light flicked on in the house and Law glared. “She was last seen about thirteen years ago. One minute she was at school and the next she vanished. She’d be twenty-six this month.”

The wind howled. The sky was a bright white just like the snow on the ground. I didn’t know what to say, but I knew I should say something. Instead, I took a step toward Law and latched my arm around his. Together we stared at his old home. I realized it probably wasn’t much warmer inside.

We were quite a pair. I was broken, sometimes feeling irreparably damaged. Our relationship was nearly shattered. Yet there, among the ruins of his childhood, Law did something amazing. He gave me a piece of himself to help me rebuild.

“This doesn’t fix everything, Nami,” Law said. “I’m going to have to work for that, I know. But I wanted you to see where it started. You’re the only one I’ve told this.”

Even though the truth he’d shared with me meant more than anything, there was a thought I couldn’t shake. It stuck in my side larger than a thorn, like broken glass. “Would you have even talked to me if Morris hadn’t raped me?”

Law took a deep breath. “I don’t know. Does it matter? I love
you
. I love your courage, your tenacity, your grit. We’re all products of the world around us, and what happened outside this home thirteen years ago shaped me. I see the world through stolen childhoods and broken homes now. But, Nami, I love how you reacted. You could have caved. You could have twisted. But you bloomed.” Unlatching my arm from his, I twisted to face him. Wind had burned his cheeks and his face was red, but he was still beautiful. Hard, unyielding, a force to be reckoned with. Even the elements couldn’t whip him into submission. Love him or occasionally hate him, he was the only Law that I would obey. As Law opened his mouth to speak, I dove at him, cutting his words at the quick with my kiss.