Electronic Gags (2 page)

“You
said we must fit every citizen with an electronic what?” President Ward asked
when the laughter had died down.

“An
electronic gag, Patriot President,” Reed stammered.

“I
have had enough of your brilliant ideas, Professor Reed,” Ward said with the
laughter of a father at the silliness of his child. “The other time you
suggested that we create robot cops because unlike human cops, robot cops can’t
be bribed. Before that you suggested we fit electric lights with micro-cameras
that record what happens in the homes of citizens and now you are talking about
electronic gags.”

“Electronic
gags will work for us, Your Excellence,” Reed pleaded.

“This
is a serious security matter,” said the senior minister without portfolio, Christopher
Ward, the supreme leader’s young brother, who was the de facto deputy
president. “Professor Reed, you are Minister of Education. Concentrate on
teaching our children to become loyal, hardworking citizens.”

“Yes
Patriot Christopher,” agreed Vice President Daniel Butler, President Brandon Ward’s
boyhood friend. “Professor Reed, you are doing well in your ministry. Concentrate
on educational matters... stay out of security issues.”

“Long
live our republic,” Reed chanted.

“Long
live,” the whole Cabinet replied wearily.

“Long
live Patriot Brandon Ward, the supreme leader of the nation!”

“Long
live.”

“Patriot
President, the electronic gag is a useful―”

“Reed,
we have a serious matter before us and we have no time to listen to your smart
ideas,” Christopher Ward interrupted.

“Yes,”
President Brandon Ward agreed. “We have no time to listen to your dreams. Use
your electronic gag idea to write a sci-fi novel. Electronic Gags by Professor Reed.
It sounds catchy.”

The
whole Cabinet broke into laughter. The ministers always laughed when the president
cracked a joke or when they thought he was trying to crack a joke.

Professor
Reed was short-tempered, but he knew it would be suicide to display anger
towards the supreme leader of the Ten Districts of America. Tears gathering in
his eyes, he controlled his anger and joined in the laughter.
I will make
the electronic gag,
he vowed to himself.
I will show the president and
whole Cabinet that I have brains.
The professor didn’t pay much attention
to the rest of the Cabinet meeting as he planned how to put his idea into
practice.

*
* * * *

Freddie
knocked four times at the front door of his grandmother’s house before she
opened the door.

“Freddie,
what a surprise. You are in District One,” the old woman said, baring her
yellow teeth in a fond smile. “I thought you were at your wildlife refuge.”

“I
came here today. I took a four-day leave from work.”

“How
does it feel to be back to the civilized world? You must be tired of living
with wild animals.”

“I’m
much safer in the wild with animals than here in your civilized world. People
are more dangerous than wild animals, Grandma Nicole.”

“You
watched too much of Tarzan when you were a small boy.” Grandma Nicole laughed
but quickly shut her mouth when she studied his face. “You look troubled, Freddie.
What’s wrong?”

Freddie
looked at the old woman who looked so much like his mother. He knew he couldn’t
fool her. Grandma Nicole was very observant and she knew him inside out. Besides,
if the CIB was looking for him, he was putting her in danger by hiding in her
house and she had a right to know.

“All
is not well, grandma.” With a wavering voice, he told her what had happened.

“Jesus!”
the old woman whimpered. “How many times did your mother and I tell you not to
hang out with Michael? Look what you got yourself into... what you got us into.
You committed treason.” She put a hand on her chest. “This is too much for my
weak heart.”

Freddie
hung his head in remorse. Grandma Nicole had heart problems. He shouldn’t have
worried her like that.

 “If
Michael told the CIB that you escaped, your face will soon be on TV and in
newspapers.” The old woman paused as she weighed the situation. “You have to
sneak out of the country.”

“Michael
won’t tell the CIB about me,” Freddie said. “Michael is not a snitch. I’m
worried about the others in his group. Michael will never―”

“Don’t
you dare defend that troublesome boy in front of me!” Grandma Nicole shouted. “You
are in this mess because of him.”

Freddie
looked away from the old woman. “Grandma, can you give me shelter while I
consider my next move?” he said, bowing his head. “I know it’s not fair for me
to ask but―”

“Shut
up Freddie!” the old woman snapped. “You know I can’t turn you out. I will do
my best to protect you.”

The
news began on the old television set that Grandma Nicole bought when Freddie
was still in primary school. Freddie and the old woman sat down and watched the
news.

“This
afternoon, security agents arrested fifty-one rebels who called themselves the Freedom
Front. The group was planning to overthrow the government...”

Freddie
sighed with relief when the news ended without any mention of a fugitive member
of the rebel group. “The CIB don’t know about me.”

“I
pray to God they won’t find out about you, grandson.”

“Where
is Kyle?”

“In
the basement as usual,” the old woman said with disgust. “I don’t know what to
do to take your cousin away from his computer. Please Freddie, convince him to
get out of my basement and look for a job.”

“I
will try,” Freddie said, going to the basement.

Eighteen-year-old
Kyle was sitting at his desk, tapping furiously at the keys of his computer. He
was a self-taught computer programmer, graphics designer, animator and
electronics technician. Kyle’s parents died in a car accident when he was seven
and he had lived with Grandma Nicole since then.

“Hi
man,” Freddie said, patting his cousin’s shoulder.

“Hi
Freddie,” Kyle replied, without taking his eyes off his computer or reducing
the pace at which he hit the keyboard.

“Did
you finish developing the game?”

“Not
yet.” At last he took his eyes off his computer and looked at Freddie. “I want
to develop a world class game that will make me rich.”

“I
have a game concept for you, Kyle,” Freddie said.

“I’m
listening.”

“The
player will be a zebra in the African jungle, going from a dry area to an area
where the grass is green. On the way, the zebra is waylaid by lions and must
cross rivers full of crocodiles.”

Kyle
became attentive. He knew a good idea when he heard one.

“The
zebra must also pass through a territory with armed poachers and pit traps. If
a lion comes directly behind the zebra, the zebra can kick the lion and earn
points. At the banks of the crocodile-infested river, the zebra can earn points
if it drinks water without getting caught.”

“And
the zebra won’t be on its own,” Kyle said with enthusiasm. “It will be part of
a herd of zebras and two or more players can play the game, racing towards the
destination. The zebra can also duck predators by getting in the middle of the
herd.”

“What
do you think?”

“I
think it’s great Freddie.”

“I
will bring you wildlife films about seasonal migrations of herbivores in the
African Savanna.”

“If
I succeed in making this wildlife game I will be a millionaire.”

“When
you become rich, don’t forget who gave you the idea.”

*
* * * *

Professor
Reed arrived home to a warm dinner of roast chicken with mashed potatoes and peas,
his wife’s special.

“How
was the Cabinet meeting, darling?” Mrs Reed asked.

“They
all laughed at me when I told them my idea,” he whined. “I will prove them
wrong.”

“I
know, honey,” Mrs Reed said, supportive as ever. “And when your invention
succeeds, the supreme leader will award you with the Golden Order of Merit and
enter your name into the Hall of Heroes.”

Ward
had awarded only three men with the Golden Order of Merit and Professor Reed
wanted to be the fourth. All the ministers who had laughed at him in Cabinet
would watch with envy as President Ward awarded him with the Golden Order of
Merit.

Reed
ate the dessert and went into his study to start making his electronic gag.
Although he liked to call his idea an invention, the professor knew that the
electronic gag was not exactly an invention but a combination of five existing inventions:
GPS tracking, cell tracking, voice recognition, speech recognition and
electroshock weaponry.

He
remained in the study till the early hours of morning, making the world’s first
ever electronic gag.

*
* * * *

After
three days of hiding in his grandmother’s house, Freddie realized the CIB was
not looking for him. No one had come to his mother’s place looking for him and
he had not appeared on TV or in newspapers as a wanted person. Opposing the
government was a serious crime in the Ten Districts. If the regime was looking
for him it would have used all the means at its disposal to find him. Michael
had not snitched on him. Michael had his faults but he was not a snitch.

Freddie
decided to visit Michael’s mother and tell her what happened to her son.

“Thanks
for taking care of me, Grandma Nicole,” Freddie said. “It’s now time for me to
face the world.”

“So
soon? Wait a little more.”

“If
they were looking for me, my face would be on TV,” Freddie said. “Michael
didn’t snitch on me. He―”

“Don’t
you dare praise that troublesome boy in front of me.”

“Sorry
grandma. I will see you later.”

Under
her worried gaze, he went out. His heart raced when he walked through the gate.
Maybe the CIB was waiting for him in the street. His stomach turned when he saw
a stranger walking in his direction. He went to the other side of the road and
was relieved to note that the stranger paid no attention to him.

A
seven-minute walk took him to the doorstep of Michael’s mother. He knocked the
door and she came out and looked at him with coldness that he mistook for
grief.

“May
I come in, Miss Wright?”

“What
do you want?” she hollered.

“I
came here to tell you about Michael,” Freddie said. “We were together when the
CIB arrested him.”

“How
did you escape?’ she shouted. “I visited Michael yesterday at the maximum
security prison and I asked him the same question. At first he tried to defend
you but when I continued questioning him, he began to have doubts. He said the
CIB came in just after you left.”

“Miss
Wright, are you accusing me of betraying Michael?” Freddie asked angrily.

“How
did you manage to escape when the CIB arrested everyone else? Tell me, Freddie.”

“Miss
Wri―”

“I
know the CIB sent you to investigate me. Go and tell them that I know nothing
about my son’s group.”

“Michael
is like a brother to me, Miss Wright. I would never do such a thing to him.”

“Get
out of my house!”

Freddie
walked away, unsure whether to feel sad or angry. How could she accuse him of
betraying Michael? Freddie knew she was spreading the word that he was a CIB
informer. Soon the whole neighborhood would be whispering behind his back. He
had to clear his name and the only way to do that was to free Michael. But how
could he free him when he was in jail, accused of high treason by the world’s
cruelest dictatorship?

Trying
to answer the difficult question, Freddie walked to his mother’s house.

His
mother, Melissa Young, was both happy and worried to see him. She hadn’t seen
him since the day the CIB arrested Michael. Grandma Nicole had told her not
visit while Freddie was in hiding.

“Thank
God you are okay,” she said, hugging him. “But why did you come out so early?”

“Don’t
worry, mom,” Freddie assured. “If they were looking for me, my face would be on
TV and in newspapers.”

“I
hope you are right, Freddie,” she said.

“Michael’s
mother thinks I am an informer,” Freddie whined. “She believes I sold her son
to the government.”

“I
know,” she said. “I heard rumors about her accusations.”

“Mom,
I love Michael like my own brother. I would never―”

“I
know, Freddie,” she said. “I know you didn’t do it.”

“I
have to clear my name,” he declared.

“Don’t
invite more trouble to yourself. Leave District One. Go back to the wildlife
refuge. Life won’t be the same here for you. No one will confront you for fear
of the government, but everyone will shun you.” She coughed. “I quit the
dressmaking club.”