Elemental Fear

Elemental Fear

Copyright © Elemental Fear by Ada Frost

Copyright © 2013 Ada Frost

Cover design by Kage Cover Design –
www.LindaKage.com/covers.hmtl

You can contact me here:

[email protected]

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WARNING:

Scenes of domestic violence and sexual assault.

Explicit language

Suitable for 18 and above

Dedication:

To a man who stole my heart and gave me his in return x

For my boys who make me proud to be a mummy every single day.

To a special friend, L.K who helped and encouraged me through my first book

Evelyn Beaumont

I knocked on the door to my best friend’s house holding my favourite new toy. Only special girls got a
baby Jessica doll. I knew this because my friends from school, Becky and Emma, got one for Christmas, but I had to wait for my birthday. Mummy promised if I was a good girl then the birthday fairy would bring me a baby Jessica.

“Morning Birthday
, princess,” said Jill; she is pretty and my best friend’s mummy.

“Look what I got. I’m
the same now as Becky and Emma,” I shouted excitedly.

“Well
, isn’t she beautiful?” Jill smiled and lifted my special baby into her arms. “You must have been a very good little girl to get such a special present.” She cooed. I think Jill would like a Baby Jessica. I will remember to tell my mummy to get her one for Christmas.

I lifted my hand up to her and spread my fingers wide
. “I'm five now, that’s not little no more. I’m big now,” I stated firmly. She needed to know four was little, five was a big girl.

“You’re right; five is such a big girl. Can I have a cuddle from the big birthday princess
?” She held her arms out and scooped me up into a big hug. She sat me on her hip and walked me into the house. Elliott sat watching the television, and I gave him a shy wave. He could sometimes be mean to me, and mummy told me to stay away from him.

“Morning
, squirt.” He ruffled my hair. “Happy Birthday.” He walked into the kitchen, and I lifted my head to watch him.

I heard footsteps running down the stairs, making me smile because I knew who that was. I
wriggled on Jill’s hip for her to let me down.

“He’s coming, don’t worry
.” Jill laughed as she went into the kitchen. Then my best friend in the whole wide world came into the room.

“
Mum! Mum, quick come here. Something’s wrong,” he shouted when he saw me. His face looked really angry, and I looked around the room worried.

Jill came running back into the room
. “What? What’s the matter?” she asked breathlessly.

“Her
.” He pointed to me. “Where’s my little best friend gone? She–” He pointed to me again. “Her there. She is a big girl, she has to be five years old. My best friend is four.” He held his hand up and spread his fingers wide.

“I'm five
,” I whispered.

“Oh Dominic
.” His mum shook her head and laughed.

“Don’t be an idiot
, Dom,” said Elliott from the door as I shuffled closer to Jill.

“Shut up
, Elliott,” snapped Dominic. He looked back at me again and smiled. “So, who are you and where is my best friend?” Dominic asked me.

“How are we related?” asked Elliott from the door.

“Out now!” snapped Jill to Elliott.

“It’s me...I’m five...I’m your friend
, Do-nic,” I whispered, feeling shy.

“Ah
, yes, but my best, best, best friend is only four,” he said and placed his hands on his hips.

“But I’m five today. It’s my birthday so I’m a big girl today
,” I said proudly.

“Hmm
?” He shook his head from side to side and looked to the floor.

I felt sad, he didn’t like me anymore
. “I want to be four again,” I whispered looking up at Jill. “He doesn’t like me now.”

“Dominic
, stop teasing, you’re upsetting her.”

I looked at the floor and scraped the toe of my sandal across the soft carpet.

“She’s pretty like my best friend.” I smiled at the floor. “She has the same pretty hair as my best friend.” I twirled my finger in my hair He always said my hair was pretty. “If this big girl can tell me a secret that only me and my best friend know, I will believe her.”

I looked up at his smiling face and thought real hard. Then I ran to him
and pulled at his shirt so he would bend for me to whisper in his ear.

“You think Cinderella is the prettiest princess
,” I whispered in his ear. That was a big, big secret.

He laughed and nodded his head.  “Come here
.” He held out his arms for me, and I jumped at him to cuddle me. Do-nic gave the best cuddles.

“Look, look
! I got baby Jessica.” I smoothed her dress down. “Isn’t she pretty? I told you I was a good girl.” Dominic knew how much I wanted her.

“She is...pretty. Come on, let’s go get your present
, buddy.” He held out his hand, and we went to the living room.

On the coffee table sat the prettiest pink parcel with a pink ribbon around it. “
Mum helped me wrap it up, but I picked it for you,” he said sitting next to me.

I opened it, and inside the little box was a small gold necklace with the most beautiful glass
slipper dangling from it. “Wow,” I whispered. It was just like Cinderella’s slipper.

“Do you like it
, buddy?” He asked, putting his arm around me.

I nodded and asked him to put it on me. When he fastened it
, I crawled onto his lap and cuddled him.

“When I'm bigger like you, I’m going to marry you
, Do-nic.”

He
chuckled.

“I am
!” I argued.

And I will marry him when I am bigger
. Me and Do-nic are going to live in a big castle and live happily ever after.

I opened the bathroom door after finishing my shower and froze to the spot.

“Morning
, Angel,” he said, grinning at me. Looking me up and down. My body responded with a sickening shiver from head to toe. He slid his index finger down my cheek, pushing a lose strand of hair behind my ear. He made an animalistic growl, making my stomach churn.

I looked to the floor and silently but quickly stepped towards my room. I could hear voices close by so knew he wouldn’t follow me. But just as I grabbed my door handle and twisted
, I felt him pull gently at the fabric at my elbow. I looked over my shoulder at him.

“I’m sorry. What I did was inexcusable. I’ve had an extremely stressful week; all I wanted to do was return to you and be in your arms
, and you...it felt like you didn’t want me here,” he said His was voice low and sincere. “It breaks me when we fight. Forgive me, Angel, please. I never want to hurt you.” He reached up and touched my face. I closed my eyes and tried to relax into his touch, but my body repelled his touch as much as my heart did. I hated his touch, I hated his presence. “Say it, Angel, say you’re sorry too, because it’s not just my fault.”

“I’m sorry too. I was grouchy
, and you deserve better after such a stressful trip,” I replied so robotically I didn’t have to think about my words.

“Scotland was lonely without you
,” he said, pulling me closer. I winced, pain from my back shot up my spine. I tried to hide it, tried to pretend. But as always, his watchful eye caught me. “Stop trying to make me feel guilty, Eve. I said I was fucking sorry. And I missed you.”.

“I missed you too
.” I forced a smile.

I still lived with my parents
. Staying with them enabled me to save a deposit for my own home. Last night my parents went out for dinner whilst Jill babysat my little sister Ellie. They always feel when Elliott returns from his business trips we need time alone, when in reality I’d love nothing more than to beg them to stay.

“Why don’t I believe you? Do I need to remind you who you belong to? Or what would happen if –
” He paused when my sister came walking out of her room, grumpy as ever. I offered her a weak smile.

“Good morning
, Louise, looking ravishing this morning,” he said in the most revoltingly smarmy voice imaginable.

“Urgh... what a prat
!” She spat and closed the bathroom door in our faces.

“
Now she would be a fun challenge, especially with her feisty personality.” He laughed and kissed me on the cheek. Tears clogged my throat because I knew what his veiled threat meant. Toe the line or he would divert his attention to my sister. “I’m going to mum’s to get my briefcase, I just wanted to come check we were okay.” Winking at me, he disappeared around the corner to the door at the end of the hall.

My mother walked towards me
, shaking her head.

“What?” I asked.

“Young love.” She chuckled and went to walk past me. When I lowered my face to look at the floor to hide my shame, she tucked her finger under my chin and lifted my face to look at her. “What’s the matter? Did you two have an argument last night?”

I shook my head
. Right then, that’s all I could muster.

“Every couple argues
, sweetheart. Doesn’t mean he loves you any less.” She reached up and pushed my wet hair behind my ear. “You’ve been quiet since he came home. Is everything okay with you two?”

Again I nodded, because telling her the truth would destroy everything I had done to keep my family safe.

“Okay, well, I’m here if you ever need to talk. I know talking to your old mum isn’t hip these days. but I do know a little about relationships.” She kissed my cheek and walked away from me into the kitchen.

I left the house in a flurry of shame and secrecy, hating I had to lie to protect my family.

Elliott came out of his mother’s house at the same time and as I passed him. He grabbed me and pressed his mouth against mine hard. I pushed at his chest and pulled my mouth away.

“I apologised for last night, why are you being such a bitch about it?”

I sucked in a breath; the fire in his eyes terrified me.

“I...I...Elliott
, please, you’re hurting my arm.” But he didn’t let go, he squeezed tighter. A sick feeling grew in my stomach as his face distorted with anger.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you
.” My hands started to tremble as panic took hold.

“That’s better; I was beginning to think we had a problem. You know how I hate when we fight, but you push me
and force me to act the way I do,” he said through clenched teeth. Letting me go, he adjusted his tie and looked me up and down scowling; I mimicked his gaze then looked up into his eyes – disgust.

“Is something wrong?” I asked shyly.

“You look a mess. You look like your wardrobe threw up on you.” He shook his head with distaste and got in his car. I stood staring at the rear of his car as he drove away feeling a jumbled mess of emotions running through me.

I looked up the driveway to Jill’s house
. I couldn’t face going in there today. I knew getting the bus wasn’t as comfortable as riding in Dominic’s Audi, but it was better than facing Dominic’s probing questions. He would instinctively know something was amiss today. He was the Managing Director where I worked. I had only been working at Ealing Pharmaceuticals for just over a year; I finished University with a Masters degree in Analytical Chemistry. Dominic had helped me get the post. I started on work placement as part of my Masters and when I performed to a high standard, Mr. Ealing said to contact him once my Masters was complete. Now I worked as his senior laboratory analyst. The work is great and exactly what I hoped it would be when I first dreamed of a profession in Chemistry. I rarely socialised out of work with anyone. I tried not to allow people into my life. I used to have lots of friends, but when you become a shadow of yourself it’s hard to let people in. Elliott had destroyed more than my body when he became my boyfriend.

“Hey, just made some fresh coffee
,” Dominic shouted from the front door, startling me out of self pity mode. “Rough night?” he asked, looking me over. I sighed. Not him as well.

“I was running late
,” I replied rather feebly and ridiculously considering I was an hour early.

“
You’re an hour early. What’s wrong?” See, I
am
an idiot. He looked at me with a concerned look on his face. “Did you have a fight?” he said softly, nodding in the direction Elliott had gone.

M
y shoulders stiffened.

“Come on, coffee time
.” He nodded his head towards the house and turned.

Like a docile animal
, I followed. I would follow this man to the ends of the earth given the chance.

Our houses were semi-detached bungalows,
a fence separating our driveways, Because my dad did the gardening in both front gardens, they were almost identical.

I followed Dominic into the kitchen.

“Right, sit down and tell me what’s going on.” The way Dominic spoke was always commanding. He knew what he wanted and would never back down. But the way he spoke made you want to offer information to him. I had never heard him raise his voice, but he had a determination about him that was uncompromising. He spoke to you with respect and decency and never made you feel incompetent, which I knew that’s exactly what I was. At work, I completed my work with time to spare and never failed to produce good work, but I still found myself not quite fitting into the surroundings. I watched Dominic move around the kitchen making our drinks.

He placed a steaming cup before me
. “Looks like you could use it.”

“Do I look that bad?” I whispered running my finger round the rim of my mug.

“Hmm? You always look great but your eyes tell me a different story.”

I didn’t reply
. I just shook my head, knowing lying to him was futile. Dominic looked impeccably smart in his black tailored suit, black shirt and steel tie. When he wasn’t smiling, he looked extremely ominous, dark and brooding. The look could be very intimidating, but I knew him. I knew what kindness was in his heart. He was tall, I’d guess well over six foot. He appeared to have a slim physique but on occasion I’d seen him doing his mother’s lawn. He had rippled muscles hidden beneath his black suit and broad shoulders, lean arms and even tighter - wakey, wakey sunshine, your boyfriend’s brother, remember? I blushed at the thought of watching him work in the sun.

Dominic sat in the chair diagonally to me
. He sat back, crossed his leg over the other and rested his ankle on his knee. He lifted his mug, cupping it with both hands, held the steam under his nose and inhaled deeply the strong aroma. With his eyes closed, he slowly lifted his mug to his lips and took the first perfect small sip. He looked up at me then.

“You do the same ritual every time
,” I said, shaking my head.

He looked puzzled and cocked his head to one side.

“Your coffee.” I nodded in the direction of his mug. He looked at it and still didn’t get what I meant. “You sit down, as you are.” I gestured towards. “You lift your mug and smell it.” I mimicked his behaviour, closing my eyes and inhaling through my nose. “Then you take the smallest of sips. It’s the same...” He was staring at me now and I suddenly felt very uneasy. He shifted in his chair, looking suddenly uncomfortable.

“Sorry
,” I said looking to the floor. We were the best of friends, and I knew we could banter like this, but after a night like last night, I always felt on edge. Simple pleasant situations like this always felt wrong somehow.
Please don’t be mad
, I pleaded in my mind.

H
e snorted a chuckle before it developed into a laugh. “Hey, it’s one of life’s simple pleasures, the smell of freshly brewed coffee, oh, and freshly baked bread. Mmmm.” He closed his eyes as if savouring the memory. I couldn’t help but look up at him and smile. It was the best sound in the world to hear him laugh. It was genuine, and his eyes sparkled with beautiful cerulean blueness. Dominic’s eyes were like looking into a tropical sea glistening in the sun. They were beautiful, I often found myself lost, staring into them. He was my sunshine, whereas Elliott was the suffocating fog.

“So
, are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing. I didn’t sleep very well
, and I got up late.” I tried avoidance, but I knew with Dominic it wouldn’t work.

“Please
, Eve, talk to me.” He reached across the small table and slid his hand over mine, squeezing softly. “Will you stop with the late crap? We both know that’s not true. You were up earlier than the sun.” I wanted to question how he knew that but remained silent. He continued. “Whether I should say this, I don’t know, but has he - ”

“No! I...it’s nothing...I just
.” Tears pooled in my eyes. If I tried to speak, I knew my voice would break and I’d break into a quivering wreck. Dominic did this to me. He broke my defenses without trying. He made me feel the one thing no one else could – safe. I couldn’t tell him why I was a wreck today, why the thought of his brother returning from Scotland filled me with dread rather than excitement. He pulled my arm gently toward him; my sleeve raised on my cardigan a little, revealing a purpling bruise that circled my wrist. He paused, laid my hand flat on the table, palm facing upwards. and stroked around the bruise with his other hand. His fingertips traced the bruise, making my skin prickle and my breath catch. I knew I shouldn’t, but I relished each pass he made..

“What happened to your wrist?”

I shook my head, even though I knew he couldn’t see. A tear escaped and rolled heavily down my cheek, stopping at my mouth. I bit my lip and hoped no more would follow. Dominic had seen faded punishment marks before and questioned me in exactly the same way. He would do the most amazing thing – just sit quietly sometimes, holding my hand reassuringly as if he knew I needed the connection. Dominic was the truest of friends, and other than what happened at night with Elliott, I felt I could confide anything in him.

The sound of high heels resonated throughout the room, startling both of us
. He quickly sat back in his chair, adjusting his suit jacket and picking his coffee back up. I roughly pulled my sleeve over my hands, balling them into fists to hide as much as I could. I angrily swiped at the tears in my eyes.

“Hi
, Evelyn,” said Jill. She was so sweet and quietly gentle; she always had a warm welcoming smile. Dad was her brother, and when she married, they bought the house next door to ours, which at the time was their parents’ house. Tragically, when Dominic was 6 years old his dad died in a motorbike collision. I often wondered how Jill remained a bright and sunny person with all the tragedy she’d had to face.

Dominic smiled at her as she passed. They had a wonderfully close relationship
. Dominic adored his mother and vice versa. Although he easily could afford his own house, he remained living with his mum. Dad always teased him saying, ‘son you are too tight to part with a fart.’