Emancipating Andie (22 page)

“No, I’m good,” Colin said softly. “You wanna just shower and get out of here?”

Chase didn’t answer. Instead he shut the fridge as he leaned over and grabbed his empty soccer bag, swinging it over his shoulder and walking briskly toward the stairs. He could hear the sounds of Colin following him, although he said nothing.

Chase walked past his room, throwing his bag haphazardly into the doorway as he continued down the hall to the linen closet, reaching in and grabbing two towels. He walked back toward Colin, tossing him one as he turned into his room.

“I’m sorry,” Colin said suddenly. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Chase forced a smile. “He would have found a way to make that point without your help. Don’t worry about it.”

Colin looked down, nodding softly as he turned the towel over in his hands. He was just about to turn and head toward the bathroom when he stopped and faced Chase again.

“Can you do me a favor?”

Chase looked up at him.

“Can you just try and remember how you were feeling ten minutes ago?”

Chase closed his eyes and laughed humorlessly. “I’m not gonna ruin your time tonight,” he said dryly. “Just leave it alone. I’ll be fine.”

Colin shook his head. “I could give a fuck about the party, Chase. Just humor me. Do you remember how you felt ten minutes ago?”

Chase pursed his lips, his eyes trained on the ground, and nodded slowly.

“Good,” Colin said. “Remember that feeling. Because as good as that felt, it’s gonna feel a hundred times better when you make something of yourself, in spite of that asshole.”

Chase raised his eyes just in time to see Colin smile softly; he banged on the doorframe twice with the side of his fist before he pushed away from it and walked down the hall to the bathroom.

They never spoke of that conversation again.

But Chase often wondered if Colin realized what he had given him that day. More times than he could even count, he found himself clinging to those words like a life preserver.

Sometimes they were the only thing that kept his head above water.

The sounds of movement on the other side of Andie’s door pulled Chase from the memory, and he blinked quickly, refocusing on the present.

He shouldn’t be here.

And just as that epiphany dawned on him, he heard the sounds of the deadbolt sliding aside as the door opened a crack. He could see the outline of her peeking out, and it felt like his heart stopped in his chest as the door finally swung open.

She stood there, her expression somewhat stunned.

“What are you doing here?” she asked quietly.

He had no idea what he was thinking, why he came there instead of just calling her. It was such a stupid move, he realized.

But he couldn’t leave again. Not until he made this right.

Chase took a breath, his eyes dropping for a second. “Last night,” he said, looking back up at her. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry again—”

“It’s fine,” she said, cutting him off.

“No, it’s not,” he said with a shake of his head. “I shouldn’t have done it. I invaded your privacy, and I had no right—”

“I’m glad you did it,” she said, and he froze.

“You are?” he finally managed.

She nodded, her eyes on his. “Yeah…I mean…it’s ridiculous for me to spend all that time and effort on something and then never let anybody read it.” She glanced down, licking her lips before she looked back up at him. “And thank you. For being honest about everything.”

He stared at her for a second before he nodded, completely taken off guard. He hadn’t expected it to be that easy, for her to be so understanding of his blatantly insensitive behavior.

Chase stood at her threshold as another silence fell over them. There was nothing left to say, and yet there was everything left to say.

He should go now. He knew he should. He had served his purpose for coming. He apologized, and she forgave him. There was no reason for him to stay any longer.

And yet there he stood, his mind searching for any excuse to prolong this time with her.

“Do you want a lesson?” he asked suddenly, nodding over her shoulder.

She turned her head to the side, looking in the direction he had indicated, at the piano up against the wall. It was a moment before she turned back around to face him.

“It helps a headache,” he added with a tiny shrug.

She stood there, saying nothing, and for a minute Chase hoped she would turn him down. He knew that leaving was the right thing to do, but he obviously wasn’t going to be strong enough to make that decision on his own. The sight of her, the sound of her voice, it was always enough to blur the lines of right and wrong for him.

And then, to his complete dismay and utter satisfaction, she stepped to the side, granting him access to her apartment.

He hesitated before he stepped inside, walking a few feet into her living room, and as he heard her close the door behind him, he felt something like triumph course through him, momentarily alleviating his mind-numbing guilt.

He was at war with himself, and in that moment, he realized with dread, he had no idea which side would prevail.

Too afraid to turn back around and look at her, he approached the piano bench and sat down, running his fingertips over the keys. Chase felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up, aware that Andie had come up behind him, and instinctively he slid to the right, giving her space to sit on the bench next to him.

She sat down quietly, her movements slow and cautious, like a frightened animal.

“I can’t read music,” she said.

The corner of his mouth lifted in a smile. “That’s okay. There are only a few chords to the song. I’ll just teach you those.”

There was a pause before she said, “I don’t know chords either.”

He laughed to himself, and he heard her laugh softly next to him. A flash of relief ran through his body as the awkwardness between them grew fuzzy around the edges, revealing a glimpse of the comfort and ease that existed for them within the confines of Andie’s car only a few weeks ago.

“I’m gonna be an awful student.”

Chase shook his head. “No, you won’t. Here. The right hand is a little tricky, so I’ll just teach you the left. It’s the same four chords over and over. You can play that part and I’ll do the rest.”

He reached over and brought her left hand to the piano, the movement causing their shoulders to touch, and he closed his eyes for a second, attempting to get his bearings before he positioned her hand over the keys.

“You’re gonna start with
A
, working in octaves,” he said. His voice trembled slightly, and he cleared his throat before he continued. “That just means that you’re going to press two
A
’s at the same time. It makes the note richer.”

He splayed her hand over the keys, placing her pinky and thumb where they belonged before laying his hand on top of hers. He aligned his fingers with hers so that his thumb and pinky rested over Andie’s, and he pressed them down gently, causing her to play the notes. She arched her fingers under his touch, curling her hand into his own and increasing the pressure of his skin on hers.

He inhaled a shallow breath as he felt a warm fluttering low in his stomach.

“
A
,” he said softly, keeping his eyes on their hands as he gently moved hers to the next position. “And you’ll just keep using the same fingers,” he murmured, placing her pinky and thumb over the black keys this time. Once again he laid his hand over hers, lightly pressing his fingers into Andie’s as he made her play the notes, and he felt her body shift infinitesimally closer to his. “
B
sharp,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

He leaned toward her as he guided her hand down the keys to the next position, causing the length of her right arm to rub against his waist, and he felt the skin there tingle and burn beneath his shirt.

“
F
,” he murmured, playing the notes with her, and she splayed her hand, allowing his fingers to slip between hers. For a breathless second, their fingers intertwined, and Chase closed his eyes as he clenched his jaw. He heard her exhale a trembling breath next to him, and his right hand curled into a fist at his side, fighting every instinct surging through his body.

Chase inhaled slowly before he opened his eyes and unraveled their fingers, bringing her hand back to its starting position. “Back to the
A
’s,” he said softly, pressing his fingers over hers and playing the notes again.

He could feel the heat of her body as if it were a tangible thing. It permeated his clothes, his skin, his entire being, igniting a fire that was threatening to rage out of control, to consume any sound reasoning within him and hand him over to his impulses.

He realized then that his heart was racing, and for the first time since they sat down, he chanced a look at her; her eyes were on him, her expression unreadable.

Chase swallowed hard, attempting to get control over his voice. “It’s an eight count,” he said softly. “You’re gonna play on the ones.”

“Okay,” she whispered, her eyes locked on his.

Reluctantly he pulled his eyes from hers and looked down at their hands. “If you start with your hand on mine, I’ll help you,” he said.

Andie slid her hand over the top of Chase’s, aligning their fingers again. “Okay,” she breathed, and Chase felt the heat in his stomach spread up into his chest and out through his extremities.

He took a small breath as he brought his right hand to the keys, positioning his fingers and playing the opening notes. He kept his eyes on her hand over his, their fingers twined together as she followed his lead, pressing her fingers over his when she felt him play the notes. His right hand glided effortlessly over the keys, dancing over the smooth surface, and in his mind, it was her skin at his fingertips; he caressed it over and over with light, fleeting touches that made the air around them sing.

She inclined her head toward him, and his breath caught in his throat.

“Chase,” she whispered.

His fingers stilled on the keys and he closed his eyes. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take.

“Can you play for me?” she asked softly, carefully sliding her hand off of his. He felt her shift on the bench next to him, bringing her body impossibly closer, and he kept his eyes closed, trying to focus on the feel of the keys beneath his fingers, the ticking of the clock in the corner, anything but the woman next to him, the smell of her, the heat of her.

He swallowed as he repositioned his left hand, and slowly, he began to play. Within a few notes, all of his pent-up emotion had worked its way through his fingertips, and suddenly the notes were everywhere, filling the room and swirling around them, pulling at him and pushing him, drowning him in the moment, and he didn’t think he’d ever want to resurface.

He felt Andie move beside him, and without warning, the length of her thigh was pressed up against his, any measure of space between them now completely forsaken.

His instincts took over momentarily, and he pressed his leg against hers, stifling a groan when he heard the nearly inaudible gasp that fell from her lips.

Chase set his jaw, his eyes still closed, and began to focus on the lyrics to the song in a desperate attempt to keep his mind rational.

Taffy stuck and tongue tied,

Stutter-shook and uptight,

Pull me out from inside…

I am ready…

There was a slight movement beside him again, and this time as she exhaled, he could feel her breath on his neck. He made a tiny noise in the back of his throat as he felt the fissures form in his composure, cracking and spreading and meandering through him at an alarming rate.

Chase’s fingers moved with more determination now, the chords ringing out with an intensity that made the air around them hum.

I am covered in skin,

No one gets to come in,

Pull me out from inside…

I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding….I am…

“Chase,” she whispered again, her breath fanning warmth across his neck as the tip of her nose grazed the skin there.

His fingers faltered, an incongruous, off-key note clanging through the air, and his hands curled in so that he rested two clenched fists on the keys. The sudden silence echoed through the room, pregnant with impossibility.

“Chase,” she said again, and the longing in her voice disabled the last of his restraint.

He turned toward her quickly and she gasped, followed by a heavy sigh as her hands came to his sides, fisting his shirt and pulling him closer.

“Damn it, Andie,” Chase breathed as he brought his hands to the sides of her face, dropping his forehead to hers. He felt her grip on his shirt loosen, and she slowly ghosted her hands up and down the length of his sides, causing him to shudder.

He could feel her breath coming in tiny bursts, quivering and trembling over his lips, and he slid his hands down the sides of her face, over the pulsing heat of her neck, and along the tops of her shoulders. She sighed softly, and Chase grit his teeth together so hard that he felt pain in his jaw.

It felt like something inside him was burning. Heat coursed and pulsed through every part of him, and with every touch of that perfect, silken skin, the inferno blazed with renewed intensity.

Chase’s heart slammed in his chest as she began to tremble beneath his touch. He knew she was unraveling, and he wasn’t far behind her. He clenched his jaw again, trying to hold on to his last semblance of control.

Andie brought her hands up to Chase’s face, her touch unbelievably perfect, and she lifted her chin ever so slightly, trying to bring her lips to his.

He turned his head, moving his mouth away from hers, but even as he denied her lips the contact, even as he tried to do the right thing, his hands came to her hips, pulling her against him before his arms enveloped her, bringing her body flush with his.

Chase’s eyes rolled back slightly as she buried her face into his neck. “You said stop hiding,” she whispered against his skin, and Chase closed his eyes. “You said to stop playing by the rules. That I should do what I wanted to do.” When she spoke again, her voice trembled. “I’m trying. Why won’t you let me?”