Embattled Hearts 1 (15 page)

“How the heck am I settling? That’s not the way I see it at all. Move your hands.”

He held his arms at his sides, and she settled crossways onto his lap. Automatically, his hands settled at her hips, and he leaned to the side to look in her face.

Shannon didn’t give him a chance to complain; she just wrapped her arms around his shoulders and nuzzled her nose into his neck. She sighed and melted into him. “I’ll cook anything you want if you just let me rest here for a little minute.”

*****

Well, fuck
.

Here he was, trying to do what was best for her, and she was having none of it. Instead she curled up against him and destroyed all reasoning. How the hell was he supposed to do the right thing with all this softness nestled on his lap? And, God, what was she doing to his neck?

John fought to keep things even, but his body welcomed her presence like a desert begging for rain, finally being granted just a few precious drops. She smelled so good he wanted to lick her, just to see if she tasted like he thought.

Awareness coursed through him, and heat began to build in his groin.
Oh, yeah
.

Desperate curiosity ate at him. He was getting erections more often, but would he be able to follow through? He’d masturbated this morning before she got up, and it had definitely been easier than normal. All he had to do was remember her bent over the first day he had met her to get hard. That didn’t mean he’d actually be able to have sex, though.

Doubts crowded into his mind.

“Why did you tense up?” she whispered. “Oh.” She stiffened and pulled away, sliding her legs off his lap. “Sorry, I forgot.”

Against his better judgment, his hands tightened on her. “Don’t leave.”

She looked at him warily, and John was hit with a fresh surge of guilt. She didn’t know what he wanted.
He
had put that uncertainty in her eyes.

“Shannon, I like being close to you, and you didn’t put me out by sitting on my lap. I just…I’m not sure what I want.”

That was a total lie, of course. He knew exactly what he wanted, and she sat on his useless legs waiting for him to make up his mind.

“Well,” she said softly, “maybe I can give you something to think about.”

John knew the kiss was coming, and he froze. He willed himself not to move. Shannon’s plump lips brushed his once, twice and nibbled at the corner of his mouth. John forced himself to rein in his frantic excitement. Shifting to the side a bit, she nibbled down the hardness of his throat. It was all he could do not to grab her and devour her. Deliberately being gentle, he burrowed a hand into her thick hair and dragged her mouth back to his to taste again.

Shannon moaned in her throat, making his excitement spike, and his erection fill. John knew the moment Shannon felt his excitement. She stilled, then pulled back to look at him.

Instead of the condescending pity he expected to see, her face was drowsy with her own need. For him. In spite of all the obstacles.

“I’m willing to go as far as you’ll let me.”

John felt his throat tighten with emotion at her words. She was prepared to give herself over to whatever he wanted, with no promise as to what might be in it for her. Nobody had ever offered themselves to him like that. One nagging part of his mind had to wonder
why
she offered herself to him. Was she curious if he could get it up? Or keep it up? Did she think he’d be grateful for any attention he got?

No. Shannon wasn’t like that. He knew that, in spite of what his brain was trying to tell him. She wasn’t the type to play with a person’s emotions. If she offered herself to him, she had to have a strong motivation.

Was it possible she did actually care about him?

Unable to even comprehend the possibility, his mind veered away from the question.

Shannon waited for him to make a move, but John honestly didn’t know if he could. He cleared his throat and looked toward the door. “I don’t know if this is the time. I need to finish briefing Preston.”

She stared at him for several long seconds, and he felt like a damn schmuck, always making excuses to get away from her. Finally, she slid off his lap and turned to the bed. “Okay, John. I’m going to read for a while, then I’m going to bed. I think for now I’ll keep the kittens in here with me.”

The tightness in his throat didn’t allow him to respond, so he just rolled out the door.

Preston was in the living room, at the bank of security monitors. John felt a moment of embarrassment that the soldier had probably seen Shannon on his lap, but he brushed it away. Shannon was a beautiful woman. He would be proud to be seen with her anywhere.
Should
be proud.

The burly soldier looked up with a smirk from the monitors. “Personal protection, huh?”

John clamped his jaw shut and stared the man down. “Yes, and if you have problems with that, let me know now. I’ll have somebody else assigned.”

Preston shook his bald head and backed down immediately. “No, Gunny. No problem. Just collecting intel.”

John nodded, and briefed the man on the particulars of the case. Duncan called about halfway through, and informed John that they’d gotten a tiny break. Carpet fibers had been found in the hair of the dead dog. They were running them now, and assumed they came from the vehicle the dog had been transported in. He said he’d call as soon as they had more information. Clayton Williams, another investigator, was also being sent out to Ohio to interview Gerbowski. He would arrive in the morning, and hopefully by tomorrow afternoon they would have some insight into the stalker.

John told Preston about the find, but the ex-sniper didn’t seem impressed. “Even if you figure out what kind of vehicle it came from, it probably won’t help you until you pinpoint a suspect.”

He was right, but John couldn’t help but be encouraged. This was the first tiny break they had. And Williams was a professional interrogator. They would have answers, soon.

Preston waved him away when John started to go over the camera angles again. “Dude, you’re half asleep. You need to catch some Zs. I’ll be fine here. Nothing will get past me.”

John knew he was probably right. He nodded and pushed his chair backwards, away from the table. “I’ll be in the guestroom.”

Preston thumped his fist on one of the monitors. “We’ve got something wrong with camera three. You better check it out.”

John snorted. “Camera three, huh?” Shannon’s room.

Preston nodded. “Yep. It’s all snow. Maybe you should just camp out in there.”

John tipped his head, unwilling to argue. His estimation of the man had just gone up. “Will do.”

Trying not to look too eager, he shoved away from the table and down the hallway. Shannon’s door was firmly closed, but a light still glowed beneath the crack. When he tapped, she opened it a mere inch. “Yes?”

“Preston says there’s a problem with the camera, and maybe I should just camp out in here to make sure everything stays secure.”

She raised her brows in disbelief, even as her eyes flared with heat. “Really? Well, maybe you should.”

She stepped back from the door, and eased it open.

John’s heart pounded as he rolled across the threshold. He wasn’t sure exactly what would happen tonight, but he was tired of worrying about it. He’d just let the dice fall as they would.

Then he caught sight of what she wore. Though she wasn’t tall, her legs looked a mile long. The hem of a threadbare t-shirt just brushed the top of her thighs. It used to be red, but it had softened to a multi-hued pink, and the lettering had faded to illegibility. The elastic had relaxed too. The cloth clung to her curves, outlining her breasts and ass. As he watched, her nipples hardened, and it was all he could do to drag his eyes back to her face.

She crossed her arms over her chest and nodded to the bed. “I was just turning in. Since we, um, slept together the other night, I don’t see why we can’t again.”

John fought to keep the stupid grin off his face. Now that he’d decided to give in, he felt lighter in his skin. Hell, maybe nothing would happen, but at least his options were open.

His eager dick demanded otherwise.

He escaped to the bathroom for a moment to catch his breath. He’d been in firefights, had a gun held to his head, jumped out of airplanes in the dark, but the thought of baring himself to Shannon eclipsed all of those things. Everything else had been work. Shannon meant something to him.

You need to get your fucking ass out there!

He used the bathroom and washed his hands and brushed his teeth. When he had nothing else to do, he rolled out into the bedroom.

Shannon had turned off the lights, and only the soft glow from the bedroom window illuminated the room.

The bed presented a bit of a problem. It was taller than his at the apartment, and would be a struggle to get into it from the chair. Surveying the problem, he moved to the bottom and used the short corner foot post as leverage. Straining, he got himself onto the mattress, but his face burned with humiliation. He wasn’t graceful at the best of times, let alone when he was at a disadvantage in a new environment.

The embarrassment was for naught, though. Shannon was curled up on her side, facing away from him. John’s throat swelled with emotion at her sensitivity. She knew there was no way in hell he’d ever ask for help, so she left him to his own devices.

John dragged himself up the bed and under the covers. He left his jeans and t-shirt on, simply because he didn’t want to look like he expected more. The only thing he removed was the Beretta and harness, which he placed within reach on the bedside table. His heart pounded his chest in expectation as he settled back against the bed. All thought of danger outside the house slipped away as her scent overwhelmed him.

Shannon peeked at him over her shoulder, then rolled over. As if she’d been doing it for years, she laid her arm over his belly and nestled her head on the cup of his shoulder. John allowed himself to cradle her closer. He pressed a quick kiss to her head. “You’re really something, Shannon.”

Her arm tightened around his middle. “You’re pretty awesome yourself.”

He didn’t know about that. Sure, he’d gotten attention for doing his job in the Marines, but he’d never had anyone tell him that in his personal life. Relationships had been few and far between, and superficial at the very best. The way Shannon affected him was outside his scope of knowledge.

But he enjoyed learning. Even when she was pissed at him it allowed him to know more about her. It was fascinating.

She ran her hand over his chest now and outlined his pectoral muscles. Her fingers pressed against the creases between the muscles of his stomach, and it felt so good. Lying down beside her was supposed to give him a chance to catch a breath, but it only aroused him further. Her fingers teased along his waistband, and the tension between them suddenly skyrocketed.

He grabbed her hand. “Shannon, I don’t want you to be…disappointed.” He could feel his face burn with humiliation, and was thankful it was fairly dark in the bedroom. “Things don’t always happen the way I expect them to, if they happen at all.”

She sighed beside him, and propped herself up on her elbow. There was just enough illumination from the outside street light he could see the curve of her cheek as she smiled. “John, like I told you before, we can do as much or as little as you want. There’s no pressure, other than what you’re putting on yourself. I love being with you. If lying beside me is what you’re comfortable with, that’s what we’ll do.”

Squeezing him with her arm again, she rested her head back against his shoulder and hummed contentedly.

John appreciated her willingness to go slow, but it aggravated him too. He wished she
would
push, because the curiosity was slowly killing him. Doubts battered at his mind, but one thought ripped through more clearly than any other.

Could he actually perform?

His stomach twisted in knots as he debated how to proceed. His hard-on ached, and demanded attention.

Twisting, he reversed their positions until he loomed over top of her. His dick rested against her lush hip, and it was all he could do not to grind into her. “I can’t promise you anything beyond this, Shannon. Hell, maybe nothing will happen. My body isn’t like it used to be. But I can make sure you’re taken care of.”

She gave him the sweetest, sexiest smile and looped her arms up around his neck. “John, I’m sure you’ll take care of me. I have no doubt. And don’t worry about promises. I’m here, number one, because I am your friend. I want the best for you. If I can help you over this hurdle, so to speak, I will.”

His throat tightened with emotion, and his eyes burned. He buried his face in her hair to keep her from seeing. He had to clear his throat several times before he could talk though. “Thank you, Shannon. We’re friends with benefits, now, huh?”

She giggled beneath him, and nipped his neck. “I guess so.”

He couldn’t help it. Dragging her hips against him, he pressed his erection into her side.

“Oh, damn,” she sighed.

John found her mouth with his own, and sank into her. For months he’d moped after her, watched her, fantasized about her. She had tormented him with her sweetness and sexiness. But nothing could have prepared him for the absolute enjoyment he felt as he explored her mouth. Shannon let him have everything she had, and gave him more than he’d ever hoped. She pulled away and lifted the ragged t-shirt over her head, baring her full, unbound breasts. John’s vision actually darkened. He thought he was going to pass out as all of his blood headed south, to his already rock-hard cock. The tingle in his balls told him orgasm was not very far away, and he couldn’t believe how aroused he was.

Dark, cinnamon-colored nipples pouted up at him and he wrapped his mouth around the one closest to him. Shannon moaned as he drew the nipple deep and teased it with his tongue. He shifted to the other side and drew that one in as well. He lifted his head enough to blow a gentle breath across both tips.

Shannon tugged him against her. John levered himself up onto his arms and shifted his lower body over hers. She bent her knees to cradle him against her pelvis, and John couldn’t restrain himself any more. Tightening his stomach for all he was worth, he curled his stomach and pressed his cock against the hardness of her pubic bone. The movement felt freaking sensational, so he did it again. Shannon moaned in his ear, and her tiny hands slid beneath his waistband to clench his ass.