Embracing Emily (#7 Warriors of Kelon) (6 page)

“I...I shouldn’t have thought about such things. I’m sorry, please forget about it.”

“How can I forget what I do not know? Tell me, Emily.” He knew he was growling, but could not stop it.

“I, I like big, strong men. When you lifted me, held me...I...I liked it.” Her cheeks coloured to a deeper red.

Her confession made him blink.
She likes me, my strength. She liked being held in my arms?

“I do not scare you?”

“No, not at all. I...look, I’m sorry, I’ve made an idiot out of myself. I shouldn’t have said anything. You must think I’m—”

“No!” He drew in a ragged breath, knowing he needed to leave before it was too late, before he succumbed to the pulsing desire now pounding through his body. Her confession only strengthened the need to...

I want her. Claim her. No!

Was this how the others felt about this most desirable, beautiful of human females?

“You are kind in forgiving me, helping me. You are no fool. I must go.”

He let go of the counter and took one step, and then another, away from her. He met her gaze and saw the confusion and concern in her eyes.

She nodded. “Of course, but if you feel yourself having another, uh, flashback or attack...come find me. I’m only here to help. Promise me, you will call if you need help.”

Vallarr did not know if he should. She has been the only one to have helped pull him from the torment of his flashbacks and ease the pain of constant guilt. At the same time, she made his body burn for her. There was no way on this Earth, he could take a human female as his mate, especially the Colonels daughter.

More than that, he could not say no as she gazed at him with wide open eyes. “I promise if I have another remembered vision, I will call. Good night, Emily.”

He turned and fled from her and from the guilt of wanting the one thing he could never have.

* * * *

Emily sank down onto the sofa, trying to take deep, slow breaths to stop her heart from pounding out of her chest, her mind going over everything which happened.

Why the heck did I tell him about my errant thoughts?

Truthfully, she felt more than a little out of control, with thoughts and emotions flying in all directions.

The way he so easily scooped her off her feet and carried her with little effort. Wow.

The torment and fear in his dark eyes made her heart leap into her throat. His large frame shook and she saw the sweat on his brow while he struggled with whatever it was he saw in his mind’s eye.

It only took a moment to realise what was going on, she saw it before in varying degrees. Heck, she had no idea what she was doing when she pulled herself up and gripped on to his shirt.

One of the officer’s wives told her she helped calm her husband by touching him, soothing him, giving him something else to focus on, and bring his mind back into the present.

Unsure of if it was right for this big Kelon, she could only try and do the same for him, demanding he look at her and follow her measured breathing.

She was shocked at first when he spun them around and pulled her on top of him. If it was what he needed then so be it. Yet, she struggled with her body’s reaction to his power and strength, her hardening nipples and the sudden rush of juices between her thighs.

Don’t go there, Emily. He needs my help, not a silly drooling, over-hormonal woman.

Her hands touched the back of his neck. She cupped his face to keep eye contact while trying not to think about the thick bulge pressing against her core until he blinked and she saw him now looking at her instead of being lost in his past. She breathed a sigh of relief, smiling kindly at him.

Her heart ached for whatever the hell he’d gone through. She was told Kelon warriors were strong and tougher than human soldiers, but here, in each other’s arms, she knew they were exactly as emotionally vulnerable as humans.

Why would they send a warrior with PTSD to Earth on such an important initiative as this one? Surely, someone would have noticed he wasn’t fit for active duty. She wondered what kind of medical care they had on his home planet beyond physical.

She leaned forward and picked up her notepad from the coffee table, flipping it open, staring at her drawn image of Vallarr, her tormented Kelon warrior.

No, not yours, Emily—I’m being an idiot again.

Did she imagine his heated stares when she went into the kitchen to put the kettle on?

Her father always did say she let her imagination run away. She sighed, her body heavy, drained from the emotional roller coaster ride of a day.

No longer hungry, she turned off the kettle. She didn’t bother going to fetch the box from the car. Instead, she dragged her sorry arse into the bedroom, preparing for bed.

Her mind kept drifting back to the feel of his smooth skin under her fingertips. How good she felt in the brief moment in his arms, wishing more than ever she wasn’t so...so,,. She frowned down at her less-than-useful leg.

It shouldn’t stop her from going after something she really wanted. Her mother would scold her for daring to use the word ‘cripple’. So, she had many curves to spare and wouldn’t make supermodel of the year, but she also heard Kelon men liked their women soft and round.

She held her breath, daring to entertain a sliver of hope Vallarr was attracted to her. Could he look beyond what she couldn’t do to everything she could?

Her father tried to set her up with someone, why couldn’t she choose—the someone?

Was she a fool to hope someone, human or alien-man, could embrace her exactly the way she was?

She smiled to herself and climbed into bed, her mind going over ways she could get to spend more time with the big Kelon. Stranger things had happened.

What to do, what to do?
Emily paused outside the mess hall, her stomach rumbling in hunger. Skipping dinner last night had not been her brightest idea. She chewed on her lip, wondering if she should surrender the translator device, or keep it for any communications emergency.

She sighed. The device didn’t belong to her, so there was really only one choice. Honesty was always the best policy. A grin curved up the corner of her lips.
Well, for some things at any rate.

She slipped it into a pocket and pulled open the door, passing a group of doctors in deep discussion about the amazing Kelon technology they were keen to use.

Friendly smiles greeted her from some of the men in the mess hall eating. Her eyes scanned the patrons, her gaze falling on Vallarr, sitting with the one she knew was in charge of the Kelon team. She made her way across the room, ignoring the many eyes watching as she approached. Vallarr, as if sensing her, lifted his gaze. Her heart thumped harder when his dark, intense eyes swept over her.

Breathe, Em, remember, and just stick to the plan
.

“Good morning, gentlemen,” she greeted. Vallarr and Jyl rose. “May I sit with you?”

For such a big man, Vallarr moved with stealth and grace, pulling out a seat and allowing her to sit.

Jyl’s gaze was curious, glancing from her to Vallarr as they reseated. She wondered if the Commander was responsible for Vallarr coming to her last night, or knew about Vallarr’s mental trauma and the attacks. Somehow, she doubted it or Vallarr wouldn’t still be here.

Concern shadowed Vallarr’s face. Did he fear she would reveal what happened last night?

“I wanted to say thank you and to return this.” She pulled out the small, ear device, placing it on the table.

Vallarr glanced down and his frown increased. Jyl picked the device up, motioning for her to put it in. Drawing in a deep breath, she quickly put it into her ear, attempting to hide her trembling hands.

“Miss Emily, is everything alright?” Jyl got in first.

“Fine, thank you. Vallarr was a perfect gentleman last night. I was no way offended by what happened yesterday.” She met Jyl’s gaze with a smile. “I’m finding more and more similarities between our people, as in everyone has bad days once in a while.”

“I am most relieved to hear it. In no way do we want you to fear any of us. You have our upmost respect and protection.”

“That’s very sweet of you, Commander, thank you. I should return your device now.” She moved to pull it from her ear.

“No, no, please keep it. I am glad it has been useful to you, and you never know when it may be useful in the future.”

She smiled her thanks and drew in a deep breath to help calm her nerves. Time for some little, white lies. Crossing her mental fingers, she looked directly at Vallarr. “So, you think private English lessons would work better for you with your duties, Vallarr?”

He blinked, a scowl crossing his features.

“His duties?” Jyl’s brow plate rose in surprise.

“Vallarr is head of your security, or have I been misinformed?”

“I am,” Vallarr rumbled.

“Well, then how can you keep everyone safe while sitting in my classroom? I suggest some private lessons at another time, my guard being present, of course.”

However, she had no intention of letting Lieutenant Simmons sit in on these lessons.

Her stomach chose to make itself known at that moment by grumbling and the noise didn’t escape the notice of either Kelon.

“Sorry, I, uh, kind of missed dinner last night. Commander Jyl, would you be so kind and get me some toast and coffee?”

He beamed a bright smile. “My pleasure, Miss Emily.” He jumped to his feet, almost laughably eager to fetch her some food.

“Emily, what are you doing?” Vallarr's low voice rumbled, drawing her attention back to the big Kelon.

“Giving you some breathing space. You need help, Vallarr, not only with learning English. If you let me, I would like to help you.”

His scowl deepened. “I do not need—”

“What happens if you have another attack and during something important? How can you protect anyone if you can’t even protect yourself against your own mind? Are all Kelons so stubborn to refuse help when offered?”

“No, I just—”

“Is it because I am female, or do you think I can’t do anything because of my leg?”

“No, it is not that. You are very...” he swallowed and shook his head, “beautiful and kind to offer.”

Her heart upped in tempo at his compliment. She held on to the thin hope, turning into guilt for pushing him. She came in with a plan and now felt bad for forcing the issue; it wasn’t what he needed.

“I’m sorry, Vallarr, you do whatever you feel is right for you. If you don’t want to spend time with me, I—”

“I do. I will accept the lessons, but please do not tell Jyl or anyone about...” He all but whispered, “...the attacks.”

She fought the urge to put her hand over his, feeling mixed emotions of elation that her plan worked and sympathy for how alone he must be. “I would never betray your trust.”

Did he trust her? Did she put her foot into her mouth? Her breath seized in her lungs and she let it out in a rush when he nodded his acknowledgement.

His dark eyes lifted, his gaze on something behind her.

Jyl placed a plate full of golden brown toast in front of her, complete with butter and a half-dozen varieties of jam.

“I did not know what you liked. I took all the spreads, so you can choose.” Jyl hovered as if waiting her approval.

She laughed. “Thank you, Commander, you are most thoughtful.”

“Oh, wait, you requested the coffee.” He dashed off again.

She met Vallarr’s gaze. “As you know where I live, let’s start this evening, say about seven o'clock or nineteen-hundred hours. If it’s convenient for you, of course.”

“I will be there.” He rose to his feet as Jyl returned. “Please excuse me. Enjoy your breakfast, Miss Emily.”

“Your coffee, my lady.”

She turned her attention back to Jyl with a bright smile. “Commander, you have outdone yourself. Please sit and share, there is no way I can eat it all.”

Jyl sat down with an eager smile.

“Miss Morland, how are you today?” Lieutenant Simmons suddenly blocked her view of Vallarr’s retreating back. Her mood and smile fell as she gazed up at her guard.

She chastised herself; it wasn’t his fault her father made him her babysitter.

She smiled. “Good morning, Lieutenant. Won’t you join us for breakfast? We’ve got toast.”

* * * *

I am foolish.
Still, Vallarr checked his timepiece, as he did countless times today, watching the
millrons
move endlessly slow until the time came where he stood outside her door. Tucking the timepiece back into his pocket, he clenched his shaking hand, raising it to knock at her door, but paused, cursing his inability to stay in control of his own body and emotions.

Why did he agree to this? Yes, she helped pull him out of one attack, but what could she possibly do to help prevent them?

He once was so calm and level-headed, before the...He squeezed his eyes shut.
Do not think about it.

He could never tell her about that. What if he had another attack, and she could not calm him? What if he hurt her? The Lieutenant would be there to supervise, to make sure he did not harm her.

The door swung in before he could knock. He gazed down into her smiling, blue eyes and all the tension ran from his body. It was replaced by a different sort of tension, one rapidly swelling in his casual wear trousers. Officially, he was off duty and could roam the base and do as he wished. Most of the men were either training, playing some strange sport with the human males, or watching the odd entertainment box they called television.

She changed from the simple grey dress she’d worn earlier in the day; this was white with floral patterns, accentuating the natural rounded curves of her body. Her hair was half pulled away from her face, the rest tumbled down her back.

“Come in, come in.” She stepped back, allowing him to enter. He inhaled her scent as he brushed past her. Fresh, clean and a scent he could not identify made his mouth water for a taste of her skin, only so he could investigate the source of her delicious smell.

Blood pounded in his ears and his cock ached. He drew in slow breaths, trying unsuccessfully to regain control of his body.