Emerge: The Awakening (23 page)

CHAPTER

THIRTY-THREE

“Looking for this?” Aidan gestured at the last piece of birthday cake.

“No. It’s yours, you take it,” Allie muttered uncomfortably.

“You can have it.” He dropped the paper plate onto the counter and moved to leave.

“You two need to get over yourselves,” Quinn sighed irritably. “Everyone is sick of it.”

“Stay out of it!” Aidan snapped.

“Don’t be a jerk!” Allie bit back.

“You’re both total assholes lately! Figure it out on your own or I’ll drag it out of you in front of everyone!” Quinn stalked from the room.  

“You suppose he’s right?” Aidan asked.

“He usually is.”

“Let’s get on with it then.” He offered his hand.

She stared at it for a moment before she took it and followed him outside.

“Want to go for a ride on my new bike? It’s a Christmas and birthday present from Dad.”

“I don’t have a helmet.”

“Seriously?” He rolled his eyes as he straddled the beautiful classic Harley. Then she noticed he didn’t have one either.

“Right.” She climbed on behind him. “I know we heal fast, but pain is pain and if you can avoid it, why risk it?”

“Point taken. I’m sorry I give you such a hard time for your mortal brain.”

He makes it sound like a disease.

Aidan’s gift muffled the chilly winter wind as they traveled in a cocoon of his warmth. It was quiet inside their bubble and she wasn’t surprised when music filled her ears. The song was a familiar one, but he infused it with his gift, allowing him to speak to her in the most honest way he knew. He had such a beautiful way of communicating, but they still had so much to say.

She had tears in her eyes by the time they reached North Shore Beach. The tension was thick in the air. They would either have it out, or reconcile, she wasn’t sure which way it would go yet.

“I haven’t been back here since the fire.” She scrubbed at the tears in her eyes.

“I do not want to be the one who makes you cry,” he sighed as they walked down the path to the beach. The distance between them still seemed impossible. 

Allie couldn’t formulate a response and busied herself with clearing the snow from a corner of the deck that had served as the stage that night.

“Seems like a hundred years ago. I felt so certain about what would happen after your Awakening.” He frowned. “That was my first mistake.” 

“Aidan…I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too.” He smiled and she saw the wall between them begin to crumble.

“I’ve been a complete—”

“Buttmunch?” she offered with a smile.

“Sure, we’ll go with that,” he laughed.

“I won’t pretend to understand why you’ve shut me out. Or why you’ve been such a jerk about it, but I know you needed some time to yourself. Everyone deserves their selfish moments.”

“I’ve been too hard on you.” His self-loathing was so evident she wanted to shake him.

“It doesn’t have to be like this between us. This all or nothing attitude just isn’t fair.”

“I know.”

His phone buzzed and he reached to check it.

“Wendy, I presume?” She knew it was totally irrational, but she was insanely jealous. Ever since Wendy came home for the holidays, the two had been inseparable.

“Yes. She’s just letting me know she got back to school safely.”

“Oh.”

“You have no cause to be jealous.”

“It’s not that—”

“Jealous of my time, maybe?” he smiled.

“I suppose.” These last weeks had been difficult, seeing him with Wendy and how happy they were together. It was like salt in the wound.

“She could never replace you, Allie. Not as a friend or anything else. We share a deep abiding love of music and we will eventually go to the same college. That’s it.”

“I know. It’s just…I’ve missed you like crazy one moment…and the next, I just want to punt you off my rooftop.”

“I deserve that.”

“No you don’t! That’s just my bad temper. Why do you do that?”

“What?”

“You are so critical of yourself!”

Aidan just shrugged and turned away.

“I wish you’d talk straight with me for once!”

“I do.”

“Not about yourself, you don’t.”

“It’s hard for me, Allie. I’ve never had this—someone I can talk to so freely. I know it’s new to you, too. It just seems easier for you. You always say exactly what you feel.”

“Do I?” she snorted.

“Come on! You are not even remotely shy about telling me what I need to hear.”

“That may be true sometimes, but I’m so uncertain about myself—especially Allie the Immortal. Aidan, I don’t know who she is yet, but I do know I will always be here for you. You need to remember that.”

“Thanks.” He smiled.

“Talk to me now. I’m here freezing my butt off, but I’m listening.”

“Sorry!” He moved to her side, bringing his warmth with him.

“I guess…” he hesitated. “Allie, my whole life I’ve been held to a higher standard. The pressure I feel from my father, my mentor, and myself is stifling. You are only just beginning to understand what that’s like.”

“I sense it building everyday,” she said. “Like a dam about to burst at any moment. As soon as Emma feels like I’ve had enough time to adjust, it’s going to blow and I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep up.”

“You’ll handle everything in stride like you always do.”

“You set a good example.” She smiled.

“No one has ever understood me like you do,” he said after a long pause. “But you’ve only seen me with my family. Wherever I go, other Immortals are cold and distant. They fear what I might become once I’m an adult fully Proven. Some actually think I should be controlled, like I couldn’t possibly be trusted with this much power. They’ll think the same of you,” he added sadly.

“My training is brutal, and I’ve tried to shield that from you for as long as possible. I’m in pain most of the time because I have to work so hard to stay one step ahead. If I slack off for even a day, I could lose control. You know that, but you don’t know how much I train. Two hours with Jin before school every day, and an hour longer than the rest of you after. Dad says I might have to give up football next year. I want to keep what little normal life I have, even when I feel like giving up. It’s just so exhausting! I will be a target before I’m thirty and I know I have to be ready to defend myself from those who would take what’s mine, but sometimes I’d gladly give it all away. I hate teaching Chloe, and now they have me working with Graham, too. I don’t want to be this authority figure to my friends, but Dad insists I take a leadership role. He claims people will always look to me for guidance and I need to learn to shoulder that responsibility now. I just wish I didn’t have to practice on my friends.”

“I know you hate it.” Allie was so glad that he was finally letting it all out. “But you’re a natural leader. The others respect you, yes, but they love you, Aidan. And don’t ever forget, I don’t see you that way. So when it gets to be too much, I’m here. You can’t keep it bottled up like this. I had no idea you felt such pressure!”

“Allie, you’ve been a godsend for me these last months—”

“But you’ve been so preoccupied with taking care of me and helping me through all of this, you haven’t thought of yourself and what you need. It’s time you stop focusing on me so much. I’m doing okay now, Aidan. You got me through it. Let me be here for you now.”

“I’m a fixer, Allie. Taking care of others is what I do. I don’t know how to turn it off.” He shrugged. “You know I’ve not always dealt with this life very well. You’ve heard the stories about me before you came along.” “But that’s when everything changed. I had an equal. For the first time in my life, I could be with another person and not feel their fear and discomfort. I love you, Allie. I can’t help it, it just feels so damned natural.”

“Aidan, I—”

“I need you in my life. In whatever way you’ll have me,” he said in a rush. “We could be amazing together, I know it and you know it, but you have so much on your plate. It’s too much. I get that now,” he said miserably. “It was selfish of me to push so hard so soon.”

“Aidan Loukas, you are the most selfless person I’ve ever met! It’s difficult to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and I am just as guilty of that as you are. It’s been all about me for months and I haven’t stopped to think about how this has affected you too. You know how much you mean to me. I love the closeness we share and I crave it just as much as you do. In a different way, I suppose, but that’s not fair. I don’t know if I can explain my feelings well enough for you to understand, but—you and I—it’s just too much. I don’t want to be that girl who’s nothing without her boyfriend. I want to be a reflection of what I love—of who I am on my own, not just an empty echo of who I love. Does that make sense?”

“You think I’d overwhelm you?” he asked.

“We’d overwhelm each other.”

“I made so many assumptions about what would happen after your Awakening,” he said sadly. “I was so certain you would see how much we needed each other and you would forget all about Vince. I never stopped to consider he might be better for you. I know you better than anyone. I should have known you’d resist this life, clinging to your old one, doing this your way—not mine or anyone else’s.”

“About time you wised up.” She shoved him playfully.

“Our friendship means the world to me, Allie. I’m so sorry for pushing you away. I needed some distance. I still need distance,” he sighed. “I can’t go back to the way it was. I love the intimacy we have, but I clearly can’t handle it. Can you forgive me for acting like a jerk?”

“Don’t shut me out like that. Ever again, you hear me? I’ve missed you!” She hugged him tightly.

“I missed you, too,” he murmured.

“Does this fall under the intimacy category?”

“’Fraid so.” He pulled away. “I just can’t, Allie.” He shook his head sadly. “We have to find a middle ground where we can be friends, but we need boundaries. In the last few weeks I’ve started sensing my Complement and that changes everything.”

“What’s it like?” she whispered, experiencing a bit of a reality check.

“I don’t think I can talk about it yet, especially with you. She’s out there just waiting for me,” he said in complete awe. “I’m not sure what to do with that, but I do know I’ll never recognize her as long as I resist the possibility of anyone but you.”

Allie forced a smile, feeling a stab of regret at the idea that some unknown girl had a claim on him so deep he couldn’t even tell her about it.

<><><>

CHAPTER

THIRTY-FOUR

“Yeah, that’s the stuff,” Allie moaned as she sank into the scalding hot bathwater.

Now I know what Aidan meant about brutal training.
She was bruised from head to toe almost every day, with near constant broken fingers, toes and ribs. It didn’t matter that she healed within days; she was still in a great deal of pain most of the time.

As the jets kicked on, she sprinkled the water with a heavy dose of the bath salts Aidan had given her for Valentines Day. He’d made them himself and seemed nervous about giving them to her, in case she got the wrong idea. They weren’t the girly kind of bath salts meant to make her skin soft and fragrant—these were meant to ease sore muscles and help her get some relief. They were the bomb.

Resting her head against the cool edge of the tub, she inhaled in the eucalyptus scented steam and listened to the gloomy lyrics talking about blame and escape. Allie’s eyes drooped and swirling masses of fog filled her mind. She drifted, slowly slipping beneath the water. Through the muddled cloud of her thoughts, something warm and familiar pulled at her. Her power stirred deep in her chest and she felt a sense of urgency, pushing her to reach for that elusive thing. It was something she lost and desperately needed to find.

Night Kayla, thanks for listening,
Aidan said as he leaned in for a kiss. Allie retreated into the fog, she didn’t want to see this.

What the hell? Allie?
His voice echoed in her mind as loudly as if he shouted.

She jolted awake with a splash, spewing water from her lungs. Her heart hammered in her chest.

“Falling asleep in the bathtub, really?” she muttered at her stupidity. She climbed out of the tepid water and reached for a towel.

She rolled her eyes at the sound of
Kashmir,
Aidan’s self-imposed ringtone.

“Hello?” she croaked.

“What exactly are you doing, you crazy redhead?”

“Drowning in my bathtub. Why?”

“I’ll assume you mean that literally, since I just felt like I was drowning and now my mouth tastes like soapy flowers.”

“What?” Her brain was still fuzzy.

“Something weird just happened and I’m pretty sure I’m not the responsible party. I’m getting on the ferryboat now, I’ll pick you up in a few.”

“No, Aidan. It’s just a stupid fluke.”

“Alexis Ann, that was weird even by my standards,” he said dryly. “We need our mentors.”

“Fine,” she sighed.

<><><>

“I’m sorry, this could have waited.” Allie flopped onto a chair in the common room.

“This is why we’re your mentors,” Emma said. “Now tell us everything.”

It’s going to be a long night.
Allie recounted all the evening’s events from her perspective and then it was Aidan’s turn to do the same. When all the details had finally been discussed ad nauseum, her head throbbed with a dull ache.

“I think it’s safe to assume this is Allie’s show,” Jin said. “But Aidan seems to be responding quite strongly.”

Emma nodded in agreement. “I’ve seen this before, although never in ones so young, but I’m almost certain she has opened a telepathic link.”

“No.” Aidan shook his head, his voice barely audible. “No, no—please…no.” He ran his fingers through his hair the way he did when he was really frustrated or angry.

“Your subconscious minds seem to be reaching out to one another,” Emma speculated.

“Like an unconscious desire to connect with someone who understands,” Jin added. “A coping mechanism of sorts.”

“I was only trying to take a step back, Allie!” Aidan suddenly shouted. “You couldn’t just let me have a little distance? You had to pull me right back?” He rose to pace, his face white and his eyes wide.

“You know she didn’t do this on purpose,” Emma said.

“What does it mean?” Allie asked miserably. Judging by Aidan’s reaction, this was really bad.

“It means we are right back at boundary issues!” he snarled.

“Get it under control, kid,” Jin said softly.

“This is a very powerful and complicated gift. You guys need to learn to cooperate,” Emma said. “Whatever issues you’ve been having need to be left at the door.”

“What should we expect?” Allie asked. She sat in a daze, feeling like this was all happening to someone else.

“It will take many years of practice to attain a true telepathic connection.”

“Yeah, if we were normal!” Aidan doubled over, taking a deep breath. She’d never seen him struggle for control like this.

“Deep breaths, kid,” Jin said, his voice full of compassion.

“You will likely only feel this connection when you sleep, but don’t fight it, just let it evolve naturally,” Emma said.

“And be respectful of each other’s privacy. Thoughts and dreams are not easily controlled. You may hear things you wish you hadn’t,” Jin added. “I want you both to start keeping a dream journal.”

“And maybe we should set some time aside every week to discuss your developments since it involves you both,” Emma said eagerly.

Allie glanced at Aidan, suddenly feeling like a lab rat they were dying to toss into the maze just to see what it would do.”

<><><>