Emilie's Christmas Love (18 page)

"Why didn't you ever marry, Joda? Why no little Ferrier from you?"

"I lost my love many years ago," she replied simply. "Be careful you don't do the same. It is a long and lonely road."

He turned back from the kitchen sink to face her. She was gone like a puff of wind. "I wish she'd stop doing that.”

From somewhere very near him, he heard her laughter, but she was nowhere to be seen.

Emilie came back downstairs in her jacket, gloves, and ski boots and dressed the children warmly to go outside. She glanced defiantly towards the kitchen from time-to-time. Nick didn't come out into the foyer.

She didn't know what his problem was that morning, but he had annoyed her. She could have a forty-foot tree if she wanted to that Christmas! And she could buy up a whole store! Why was the man so obstinate, so hard to impress with her good works?

"Ready?" Adam asked her.

She realized that she had been staring angrily toward the kitchen and looked down at him and Amber. "I'm ready. Let's go find a tree."

They walked past the snowmen they had made and cleaned off the light dusting of new snow that had covered them. Emilie's dog was looking a little melted so they did a few repairs. It didn't look much better. Amber laughed at it, falling down in a big pile of fluffy snow.

"We'll have to walk to the back of the property to find the Christmas trees," Emilie told them, picking Amber up out of the snow.

They walked around the side of the house, talking about the snow and the trees. Emilie told them about the maze that they had passed and promised to bring them out into it another day.

"Could you really get lost in it forever?" Adam asked, looking at the slightly overgrown hedges.

"Not forever," Emilie admitted. "It's a small maze, but it's fun to get to the middle."

Adam whooped and ran in the snow in front of them, making snow angels and laughing as birds flew away. The sun was shining warmly on their heads and the sky was a brilliant sapphire blue above them. It was a perfect day to walk through snowy fields and look for a Christmas tree.

Nick watched them trek through the gardens to the overgrown, less traveled part of the estate. The fir trees rose thick and dark green against the white snow. He tossed down the thick stack of invoices on the desk in front of him.

It was no use. He couldn't concentrate on anything else. It had nothing to do with Emilie. It was being in a strange house and worrying about Amber’s adoption. It was thinking about new tires for the tow truck and wondering if Adam’s new parents would understand about him playing the flute.

He looked out the window at Emilie and the children. She was carrying Amber. Adam was walking alongside them. They hadn't taken anything to cut down a Christmas tree. Emilie had probably never cut down a Christmas tree, he realized. That would be too practical. She probably had a plan to ask it to fall down and walk back to the house for her.

And what was she doing, walking through that heavy snow? What were the chances she was going to get out there and not be able to get back? Did she always have to try to push everything to be better and perfect?

His hand was on the phone, dialing a friend's number, before he realized what he was doing. It took him five minutes to borrow Matt Easley's chainsaw. In less than ten minutes, he had put on his jacket and boots and was out the door to pick it up.

"This is very interesting," Joda purred, looking out the same window after Nick was gone. She glanced at the papers he'd left on the big desk and sat down in the high-backed chair to have a peek.

Emilie was winded after she carried Amber through the thick snow. She hadn't realized, until they’d reached the wild area outside the high brick fence, how deep and heavy the snow was on the ground. Before she'd reached the towering tree line of the imposing firs that bordered the property, her leg was bothering her and she was out of breath.

She ignored her discomfort and plunged on toward their destination. Adam was still jumping the snowdrifts and rolling down the small hills. Amber was bouncing in her arms. She’d tried to set her down. She couldn't stay upright in the snow.

"Let's rest a minute." Emilie sat down hard on the snow. They were at the edge of the forest. She could see that the snow was thinner under the trees. Walking through them would be easier and she'd have a chance to rest. She didn't want to admit, even to herself, that she couldn't handle going out and getting a Christmas tree.

"When I was a little girl, we used to have parties when we went out and got the tree," she told Amber and Adam who’d sat down beside her on the frozen crystal mound. "We came out with sleds. When we took it back on a sled, we had music and everyone dressed up and there were candles everywhere. Then we put up the tree and everyone clapped and whistled."

"Can we have a party, Emilie?" Adam made a snowball with his hands in mittens. "We could do all those things."

"I think that's a good idea, although your uncle might not agree."

"Sometimes he's a little grumpy," Adam explained. "I think he's sad. You know my mom was his sister and he misses her too sometimes."

Emilie touched his cheek. His dark eyes held so much innocence and so much wisdom. "I think you're right. And I think we could talk to him and he'd like to have a party."

"Amber?" Adam asked his sister, leaning closer to her. "Would you like to have a party?"

The little girl clapped her hands and smiled then pushed her face into Emilie's side and tried to suck her thumb through her mitten.

"She's tired right now," Adam reported. "But later, she’d like it."

"Great!" Emilie squinted across the snow-covered hills that separated them from the house again. "Well, we'd better find a tree. I brought some red ribbon to mark it. Then we can call Mr. Ferguson and he'll come and cut it down for us."

"I want to help cut it," Adam yelled. He raced off through the snow into the forest.

Emilie stood up, groaning a little as her leg refused to move for a minute.
Not now
, she prayed, closing her eyes and massaging the limb.
Don't strand me out here now and make me look like a total idiot.

The leg flexed after a while and she looked down at Amber who was regarding her with a serious expression on her face.

"Ready?" she asked her.

Amber held up her arms and laughed. Emilie picked her up, wrapping her arms around her. They trudged through the rest of the deep snow to follow Adam into the forest.

"Adam," she called out. "Don't get too far ahead! If you get lost, we can't have a party!"

"I won't!" He startled her as he popped out from behind a tree. He giggled when she made a stifled, screeching sound. Amber laughed out loud.

Emilie put Amber on her feet and drew a deep breath of the cold, clear air. "Okay. Let's look for the best tree."

They walked through the forest. The shadows were cold and deep. The sun was forced to peek through the heavy branches of the trees. Icicles hung like tinsel from the boughs, sparkling in the sun where it hit them. It was quiet in the heart of the small forest. The trees baffled the cry of birds and even the ever-present wind that howled around the mountain peak. From there, not even the dark face of the mountain was visible. It was like stepping into another world.

"Which one?" Adam asked in a shivery whisper. "They're all so big."

"They are," Emilie agreed in hushed tones. "We have to pick one that's big, but not too big. It has to be able to fit in the house."

The scent of the trees was overpowering, a smell that no chemist had truly been able to master and put in a bottle. It was clean and strong and tantalized their senses. It was the scent of Christmas and more.

They walked into a small clearing where the trees seemed to have grown back from the center areas.

Adam breathed out, "Wow!"

It was the tree, of course. The perfect tree. Not too tall, not too short. The bottom was round and the top was pointy. In between, the branches made a perfect, angled skirt to the ground.

"Can we have this one?" Adam asked quietly.

"I think so." Emilie reached out to tie the red ribbon around the tree branch. "In the spring, we'll have to come back and plant another tree to replace this one."

"Why?" Adam watched her.

"Because otherwise, all the trees would be gone. Down through the years, my family always planted a tree when we took one at Christmas. That's why there are still so many of them out here. We have to replace what we take from the earth and life can go on."

"Cool," he whispered, looking up at the big tree. "How long does it take to grow another tree?"

"About twenty years. We have to plant somewhere else on the property, though. Otherwise, the trees will choke each other out. The trees in the front of the house were the ones we planted when I was a little girl like Amber."

"Can I come back in the spring and help?"

"May I?" she corrected. "Of course! Not only may you come back, you have to! You owe it to the land after you helped me take this tree." She smiled down at him, hating the wistful sound of his little voice.

Amber was shivering. Her teeth were starting to chatter. She pressed against Emilie for warmth.

Emilie remembered that they had a long walk back. "We'd better go home and call Mr. Ferguson. He might be able to come out today and cut the tree. If not, we might have to wait until tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Adam grumbled, kicking at the snow.

"Maybe," Emilie replied stoically, picking Amber up in her arms. "We'll have to see. If he can't come until tomorrow, we'll just have to get everything ready for the tree before they bring it up."

They walked back out of the shade and into the blinding whiteness of the snow. Emilie felt the pull on her leg when she left the protected area under the trees. She stumbled a few times as she started to climb up the ridge after Adam. She held tightly to Amber and ground her teeth in frustration at her own weakness.

She might have forgotten about her leg the night before when she'd been in Nick's arms, she decided, but the reality of snow and uneven ground brought it back to her forcefully.

A loud persistent buzzing caught their attention. Adam looked around but there was nothing close to them. "What is that?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "But it's getting closer."

It was an engine noise, droning steadily closer as they got halfway up the ridge. A bright red snowmobile crested the top as they watched and Adam yelled loudly. "It's Uncle Nick!"

Emilie held Amber tightly as the girl jumped and laughed. They waited where they were for the snowmobile to come to a stop. 

"Wow! Where'd you get this, Uncle Nick?" Adam rushed toward him.

Nick took off his goggles and grinned at him. "I borrowed it from a friend. And this." He held up a small chainsaw as he glanced at Emilie. "So? Where's the tree?"

Emilie didn't want it to happen. She didn't want to feel her heart stop abruptly then start jumping in her chest like the children were jumping, just happy to see him. It happened anyway. She schooled her face carefully, but inside she was happier than she’d ever been.

His dark hair was windblown and his face had a ruddy tone from the wind as he'd raced down from the house. He smiled, and his even white teeth made a perfect foil for his beautiful lips. The heavy, dark blue jacket he wore made his shoulders seem enormous. She thought that she could put everything there on those shoulders, in those arms, and all of her problems would be solved.

What am I thinking? This can’t happen.

She put Amber down so that she could run and fall trying to reach her uncle and the shiny new toy.

No one else could carry her problems for her. No one else could be the answer to making her life happy. She knew that, didn't she? Hadn't she learned that lesson the hard way?

"Are you okay?" Nick asked when he'd climbed off the snowmobile and reached her, picking Amber up on the way.

"I'm fine." Did she look like something was wrong with her? Or was it just knowing that she had a bad leg that made him keep asking?

"I'm sorry about before," he apologized, misinterpreting her silence. "I didn't mean to act like the Grinch . . ."

Emilie stared up at him and wished he didn't look so good. She wished that things were different for them. She wished that she could kiss him and throw her arms around him like Amber was doing at that moment.

"That's okay," she said. "You've certainly redeemed yourself. Where did you get the snowmobile?"

"I borrowed it for the day. A friend of mine races them. He always has four or five ready to go. I help him work on the engines."

She stuffed her cold hands into her coat pockets. "The tree is this way. Adam will be glad. He thought he might have to wait until tomorrow for it."

"Just for the sake of argument," Nick wondered. "How were you going to get the tree down and back?"

She blinked at him. "Tom Ferguson. He lives on the other side of the road. He said he'd come and cut it down for me if I’d come out and mark it. We tied a red ribbon on it."

"I'll show you the tree, Uncle Nick," Adam offered, sliding down faster than either of them could walk.

Emilie walked beside Nick. She knew he was probably walking slowly so she could keep up. She didn’t care. If they could just walk beside each other forever—

Some snow fell on her head and Nick brushed it off with a careful hand. He tipped her head back to look into her face where some of the icy crystals had landed on her lashes.

“Who are you, Emilie Ferrier?”

She gasped as their gazes locked, pushing everything else from her vision. “You know who I am. The great-grand daughter of Jacque de Ferrier. A teacher. A woman who lives in a big, old house with her aunt. I don’t know.”

 "You are so beautiful that you take my breath away and so giving that the children all love you. That's why there was a line outside your booth at the school fair. That's what you hear walking down the hall behind them.
Miss Ferrier is cool. Miss Ferrier is so sweet.
And she is." His gaze left her eyes and fastened on her red lips. "She is
so
sweet."