Emilie's Christmas Love (24 page)

"No." She shook her head and looked away from him to her napkin. "There wasn't anything else. I'm hungry. That’s all."

Yet, when her salad came, she couldn't justify that claim. She finally pushed the bowl away from her and sipped her glass of water. She watched Nick patiently feed Amber some macaroni and cheese while Adam told him about Aunt Joda's present.

"We were about to go shopping for yours," he regaled his uncle.

Nick's gaze flew to Emilie's. "You were?"

Adam proudly nodded. "We have three dollars and twenty-five cents. Emilie is going to add her money to ours to get your present. I can't tell you what it is!"

"It's a surprise?" Nick smiled at Adam.

"That's right!" Adam gave Emilie and Amber a secret wink.

Nick paid for lunch, but had to leave them. He touched Emilie's arm and she jumped nervously, feeling his touch as though it was a hot brand on her skin.

"You're not going to add much of Emilie's money to theirs, right?"

Emilie, lost in her misery after realizing that she loved him, shook her head wordlessly.

"Nothing like the tree or the million watts of lights around the house, right?" he continued.

"Right.” She managed to find her voice.

"Are you sure you're all right?" He was worried, noticing her pale face and over-bright eyes. "Has it been too much for you taking them shopping?"

"I'm fine, Nick." She tried to sound more convinced than she felt. "It's fine. They're fine. Really."

He frowned, wondering if he heard a note of hysteria in her voice. "I could take all of you back to the house."

Emilie picked Amber up and took Adam's hand. "Sorry," she told him briskly, with a million-watt smile. "We have more shopping to do. See you later."

#

Two hours later, Emilie dropped all of her shopping bags on the kitchen floor and put Amber carefully into her highchair. She collapsed into one of the other chairs while Joda chuckled at her.

"Tired?"

"Way beyond," Emilie answered weakly. Adam brought in the rest of the shopping bags. She directed him to put them with the rest of the pile.

"There was a call for you," Aunt Joda told her, picking up Amber and cuddling her.

Emilie was amazed. "You answered the phone?"

"It was no big thing,
petite
. Besides she called so many times, it was beginning to irritate me. Ring, ring, ring! It was your friend, Julie Johnson. She needs you to call her back as soon as you get home."

"Thank you." Emilie was stunned by the change her aunt was undergoing. The children had really begun to bring her out into the real world.

She hated to lose the children for Joda's sake now too, but if Nick decided to keep them, perhaps he would bring them by from time-to-time.

And there was always the possibility of finding the right child that she could adopt. The New Year was coming and with it, the promise of something better.

Even if it was something better that didn’t include Nick, Adam, and Amber.

Emilie stood, her leg hurting. She'd managed to overdo it again. She was going to have to pace herself, or face the consequences.

Not that it wasn't worth it.

She would do it again to watch the children's faces as they walked through the moving toy soldiers and dancing fairies at the mall. Amber couldn't look away from the beautiful Christmas decorations, her big, bright eyes glued on them.

Emilie reached Julie on the phone. She sounded terrible. "I have one final class to teach tonight at the community college," Julie croaked through strep throat and a sinus infection. "They've worked so hard, Emilie. This finishes most of them to start winter quarter at the college. Can you please take it for me?"

"I don't know anything about college credit classes," Emilie protested. "I wouldn't know what to do."

"You can use my course book. Besides, this is the last of it. They only need the time. I was supposed to give back final exams and certificates of completion tonight. Please, Emilie! I hate to let them down, but I'm so sick."

She coughed long and loudly, moaning at the end. Emilie knew Julie wasn't the kind of person to ask if she didn't really need her.

She sighed. "All right. I'm sorry you're sick this close to Christmas. What time is the class?"

They arranged for her to swing by and pick up the course book on her way to the community college. Emilie put down the phone and glanced at her watch. Aunt Joda would have to watch Adam and Amber for a while.

Before the children had come, she would’ve been reluctant to leave
anyone
with her aunt. Since their arrival, she'd become more coherent, more responsible. As Emilie spoke with her, she was already starting dinner for them, wearing a Santa hat and a big red apron.

"You like it?" Joda asked, turning a little so that Emilie could appreciate the color and the effect. "Nick gave it to me. He said it was an early Christmas present."

Emilie smiled, amazed. "It's wonderful."

"He is a devil, but very handsome, eh
petite
?"

Emilie didn’t answer the question. Instead, she explained about Julie’s problem. "I need to get ready. I shouldn't be back very late. Here's Nick's pager and cell phone numbers, in case you need him. Do you need me to explain how to use them?”

"Put in our number when the pager beeps." Joda nodded. "Nick already explained to me. In case I needed him, he said."

"Good." Emilie put the numbers by the phone. "That's good. I'm going to get ready."

"I'll take care of them." Joda shook a spoon at her niece. "But who will take care of
you
?"

Emilie's head came up. "I think I've been taking care of myself for a long time."

"Too long,
petite
. You need someone else. I won't be here forever, you know."

Emilie felt tears well in her eyes and hugged her aunt tightly. "Maybe not forever, but a little while longer, eh
petite
?"

Joda hugged her back then shooed her out of the kitchen. Amber was sitting in her highchair, watching Adam pull lettuce apart all over the table as he made salad.

"I'll see you two tomorrow," Emilie told the children, kissing each of them quickly. "Tomorrow is Toy World!"

"Yes!" Adam yelled, putting up his fist to salute that decision.

Amber laughed and clapped her hands, blowing kisses at Emilie who blew them back.

She went up the stairs angrily to change her clothes. It wasn't bad enough that she loved two children that she couldn't adopt, she fumed.
No.
She had learned to love their uncle as well—a man who didn't want to have a serious relationship with her. 

"You're a loser," she told herself in the mirror as she brushed her hair impatiently. "You may be rich. You may be a Ferrier. But you're a loser in the game of life, Emilie,
petite
."

She made a face at herself then pulled on a warm, plum-colored sweater and skirt. She put on light make up and smiled at herself, touching scent lightly to her wrists and the shadowed cleft between her breasts.

The skirt was straight to below her knee, but loose and soft against her skin. She pulled on her black boots and a heavy coat. On a whim, she tied a bright green and red Christmas scarf around her neck. She'd found it on her bedside table that morning.

It had been a small present from Nick. Like Aunt Joda's apron and Santa hat. There was a note with it that she’d tucked into her purse.

“You've made it all so easy. Thank you, Emilie. No wonder the children love you. Nick.”

Why was it that children found her so lovable, yet real love seemed so willing and able to pass her by?

Chapter Fourteen

Julie was as sick as she'd told her friend. Her husband gave Emilie the course book and told her that they were hoping she would be better in time for the holiday. Their children stood at the door with their harried father, staring at Emilie with inquisitive eyes.

Slightly beyond, Emilie could see the beginning of the house. Coats, boots, books, and toys seemed to be thrown everywhere. There was the faint scent of burned food coming from the kitchen.

"I hope she's better soon." Emilie took the course book.
For her sake as well as yours
. She knew she’d hear about everything that had happened while her friend was sick when they went back from the holiday.

One way or another, it would all be over, Emilie thought, getting quickly back into her car. Nick would either have decided to give Amber up for adoption or he would have decided to keep her. They would be back in their own house and the big Christmas tree would go through a shredder to provide cover for the flower garden next summer.

That was about as depressing as knowing that she was in love with Nick.

The night was clear. Stars were shining brightly from the sharp black sky. It was bitterly cold. There was no wind. She knew the faculty parking lot at the community college was a long walk from the front door of the school. She wasn’t looking forward to it.

She would rather be at home drinking hot chocolate with Amber, Adam and Joda. And Nick. It was easy to picture them all together in the library, in front of the fire with steaming mugs. Maybe Nick would tell them a story . . .

Nick had said that she had a soft heart. He didn’t know the half of it.

He should have added that she had sawdust for brains. Emilie Ferrier. The only woman in the world able to consistently find men who didn't love her!

She parked in the big parking lot at the college. Her jaundiced gaze took in the spot lights that covered the school grounds and the long, low buildings. She felt as much like teaching a last class in college prep as she felt like falling off the side of a mountain.

A promise was a promise. She sighed, getting out of her car and locking the doors. She pulled her coat a little closer, hefted the course book and her handbag in her arms, and started walking across the campus.

Several students were already in their seats by the time she found the classroom. She assumed they were eager for it to be over. The building was a little chilly. She was glad she'd dressed warmly. There was a basketball game going on at the far end of the building. Occasionally, she heard a whistle blow, or the crowd yelled, when a point was scored.

Emilie said hello to the students as she took off her coat. She explained what had happened to their usual teacher. She took her seat at the small desk in front of the class and looked through the course book and the graded exams. It looked as though most of the students had passed the course and would be going on to the next level—probably a local college for the winter quarter.

There was no bell for classes to start, but Julie's notes said that classes started at seven. When the clock on the wall said that it was seven, she stood up and started to address the class. One hour, she told herself. How bad could it be?

The class was full. There were only two empty seats. Since she hadn't been there before, she had no way of knowing if those represented students who weren't going to make it for the last class.

"Good evening." She started the class, picking up the exam papers. "My name is Emilie Ferrier and I'll be your instructor for tonight."

The classroom door swung open and the two late arrivals came in with a flurry of apologies for being late. One of them was Nick Garrett.

She used the time after their arrival to compose herself. As they were getting settled, taking off jackets and gloves and getting out books, she took a deep breath. She’d felt herself grinning like a damned cat when she first saw him. Fortunately, he hadn’t appeared to notice her, at least not yet.

He took off his black jacket and sat down at one of the empty desks. Emilie managed to wrench her gaze from him, and nervously cleared her throat.

"As I was saying, my name is Emilie Ferrier and I'm going to finish up this course for you tonight. Your regular instructor is out with the 'flu. I think the best way to start would be to hand out these test papers. As I call your name, if you'll come up and get them, we'll get this over with. Most of you did very well. If there are any questions, we'll discuss the exam after everyone has their papers back."

She felt Nick’s questioning gaze on her, but didn't dare look up at him. Her face felt hot and red. Her hands were shaking as she started calling out the names on the papers and returning the tests.

"Nick Garrett," she called, knowing she had to reach his name at some point. She looked up into his face and smiled a little more vaguely than she had at the other students, not letting her gaze meet his.

He'd passed the exam, she noticed gratefully. At least she wouldn't have to break that bad news to him.

There were a few questions, mostly from students who didn't do as well on the exam.

"How are these graded?" one man, John something-she-couldn't-remember, asked belligerently. "Because I think these are biased. I think whoever graded these was prejudiced."

Emilie smiled at the man. What a difference from teaching nine-year-old children. She proceeded to explain to the man the way she would have explained to Adam.

"You can take this up with your teacher next quarter," she finished after explaining the grading process. "Or you can complain to the dean."

"How could I get so many wrong?" the man continued to whine.

It was a familiar tone and question for her. He shared both with her fourth grade students. She looked directly at him and smiled. "Next time, you'd better study harder."

A few students laughed quietly. A few muttered under their breaths, agreeing with the man. Emilie decided to proceed with the rest of the hour that was left of the class.

"Now, if you'll pass your course books up to the front desk at the end of each row. The school has a commendation for each of you that passed the course."

"Miss Ferrier?" A tall man came in the door and checked a piece of paper for her name. "I'm Efird Sutherlund, the dean of students. I'll be giving out the diplomas to your graduates."

She shook hands with the man then gave him the list of names that Julie had put together.