Endless Days (The Firsts) (9 page)

He just smiled.  It wouldn’t matter anyway.  He
would
be leaving.

Cherise shook her head.

“You don’t believe me.  Here, I will show you.”  She knelt before him, her eyes soft, pale blues locked on deep browns.  She brought her hand to his chest, held it still near his heart, and closed her eyes.  He sat for a moment wondering what she was doing when he felt her…inside…his mind, his soul…reaching for…what?  Then he felt dizzy, the world spun, his vision blurred…he reached for her and held her in case she felt the same.  He supported her, he supported himself
with
her…and then the world righted again.  His hands were still tight on her slim body, wrapped around her waist like a life preserver.  As his vision and balance returned, he realized she was holding him too.  She sighed.

“That was even more intense that I expected.”  She drew a deep breath.  “Okay…”

“What was that?”  He asked.

“I had to access this for you,”
she answered, and touched his chest again.  A medallion on a delicately crafted chain suddenly appeared around his neck, glowing slightly.  Kav pushed back against the sofa.

“What the fuck…?”

Cherise got off her knees and came onto the sofa beside him, her hands splayed against his chest.

“It’s
okay, it’s a part of you.  It’s always there.  Kav, this is called a spirit amulet.  All of the firsts have it.  It is merged with you, a part of you for all of your life.  Your power is amplified…is channeled with it…through it.  You are completely disconnected.   It is why you have been alone in all this…your exceptional abilities have been inaccessible.  Now, we will work on bringing them back.  Now, we will make you well.  And God help those who hurt you.  Once you have your strength back, you will know who they are, what they did, and you will know how to find them.”

“But you said it would hurt you to help me.”

“It will not be easy.  It will be painful for you…you will have to relive much of the bad things.  I will have to journey with you.  It will be painful for me only in that I will have to see and feel what you went through…”   She paused before she said the next, “But…I care about you, and it will be painful for me to see you hurt.  My actual pain…that would only come if I allowed us to bond.  I cannot do that, but I think you understand.”

He understood.  She said she “cared” for him, like she might a child or a puppy.  Not with the scorching need he felt for her. 
No.  He couldn’t open himself up to her like that.  She would see, would know, how much he needed her.  He had a drop of pride left…and couldn’t bear her to look at him with pity of his unrequited love.  He didn’t remember a lot of things, but he remembered how much it hurt to love and not be loved in return.  He couldn’t bear it from her.

With a curt nod of his head, he agreed he would stay and work with her.  But he’d be gone, just as he planned, before the night ended.

She’d done something to him.  He could feel it.  Something moved through his body as if it were alive…it spoke to him in a voice older than time itself…ancient, rich, powerful…and he knew now…

She was right.  He
was
something different.   Suddenly, an intense tiredness struck him.  His eyes rolled back and he couldn’t help but let his eyelids drop.  They stayed there.  When he was finally able to open them some time later, he didn’t know how much, she was there, on the floor again, his hands in hers, her eyes searching his face.

“David…”  She said softly, pronouncing it Dah-veed.  He tried to look at her, but his eyes fought him.

“I…I can’t keep my eyes open.   What’s wrong with me…”

“You are reconnecting to your spirit, your power.  It will be a little like a vampire conversion.  You will sleep the rest of the night, I think.”

No, no, he wanted to be gone… Away…far…away…  He lost consciousness.

Kav woke abruptly.  He sat up quickly, a dim light in the corner let him know he was in his own bed in the mansion’s basement.  A light sheet was pulled halfway up, but he’d thrown it off sometime while he slept.  When he glanced around he noticed a figure in the bed beside him, curled up small, sleeping soundly.  Cherise.  He rolled over and stared at her. 
A dream, having her beside him in sleep.  She was fully clothed,
that hadn’t been part
of the dream…but close enough
.  His eyes seemed even sharper in the dim light than before.  He noticed every nuance of her appearance, her sounds, her movements.  She was perfect.  Well, to him.  For him.  If he hadn’t gone through whatever he needed to heal from, if he had been whole, he would have taken her and never let her talk herself out of it.   She would be his.

But he couldn’t come to her as anything but a broken, incomplete man.  He wouldn’t be good for her. 
And that was the end of it.  Not able to stop himself, he ran his fingers along her cheek.  She moaned sensuously and rolled toward him, then stretched a leg out and threw it over his bare one.  Contact, skin to skin…it was an instant reaction.  He could feel his body stiffen, especially a certain part, and lay unmoving while he decided whether to take the high road or the low one.  It took a few warring moments, but he reminded himself…he was leaving.  He couldn’t start anything with her at all.  She didn’t deserved to be left behind in the wreck of all this.   But…  He leaned in and left a soft kiss on her forehead…she moaned again and smiled in her sleep.  He hoped someone truly wonderful would be there for her someday. 
That
, she deserved.

Rolling with ease, Kav slipped from the bed.   Damn, he felt good.  Whatever she’d done for him had been incredible.  All the fogginess, the aches, the stiffness, was gone.  He expected…he
knew
, he would improve each day.   His memory was still absent on any details from his past except for brief glimpses that were often gone almost as soon as he saw them.  It would have to be enough.  He stood and pulled on his jeans, which seemed tighter overnight.  One glance in the mirror clued him in there…he was much larger than he was yesterday, all over…chest, arms, legs, neck.  Even for a vampire, he realized he was big.  A seriously huge motherfucker.   He slipped the jeans down a little more.  Rolled his eyes.  Yep, bigger all over.  Nice.

Well, it wouldn’t help to pack much of what he already had in clothes.  They no longer fit.  So he looked at his little pack and grinned.  One of the most powerful beings on the planet and he owned exactly a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a small variety of purloined clothing items that no longer fit. 
Nothing to worry about now.  He slipped the toothbrush in his pocket and started out of the house.  He’d cleared the mansion, made it to the road, was preparing to shift to vampire speed, when he heard her voice.

“Well.  You sleep with a girl and you leave without even a note? 
Shame on you, vampire.”  She was standing on the huge wrap-around porch, her arms crossed.

They stared at each other across the distance.

“You looked so perfect.  I wouldn’t have disturbed you.”

“You disturb me anyway.”

“You would have known I was gone.  You would have known why.”

“Let’s pretend I’d have let you go.  Where were you heading?”

“No idea.  Doesn’t matter.  Anywhere not here.”

“You don’t believe you need me?”

“Oh, I
know
I need you.  I know I can’t have you.”

“Not that way.  I’m sorry.  But you have to let me take you back and bring you home.  David…”

“No.  Kav, please.  I am not that man anymore, the one you call David Patric.”

Cherise nodded.  “That is true enough.  Okay. 
Kav.  You must stay.”

He vampire-speeded over to her so quickly she did not see him move.
  She used to be accustomed to that, but now…it left her breathless.  Or was it that he pulled her into his arms?

“If I stay, this is what will happen.”  He held her so close she was sure they would bond right there.  His penis pressed against her, seeking entry that she could not allow.   Could she? 
He didn’t let her complete a thought.  His tongue slipped between her lips and played aggressively, making love to almost as effectively as if he’d dropped his pants, and hers, and let his seeking manhood have what it wanted.  She held on and battled furiously with him, kissing him back so intensely, they both fell backward onto the hard wood.  It didn’t stop them, he just gathered her tighter and slid his hands beneath her shirt.   Ahhh…no bra, just beautiful round globes that begged for his tongue and teeth.  He didn’t remember his previous sexual encounters, but he knew he was good at this.  If this continued, there would be no stopping either of them.  Unbidden, her voice from a recent memory interrupted…
I will bond with you and it will be bad…

Kav pushed her back and stood up, pulling her with him.  They were both breathing hard and barely dressed.  Her shirt slid back down and he was grateful.  Taking her face in his hands, he looked into her crystalline eyes.  He knew they could see into his soul if he let them.

“I am leaving for
you
.  I understand what you mean by a bond…and I can’t let it happen.  I can’t do that to you.  Cherise, I cannot stay without inhaling you.  I
am
going. Let me.  Let me be noble.”

Those eyes that saw what others could not began to tear.

“I appreciate that.”  Her voice broke, just a little.  “But I am not ready to never see you again.  I realized that tonight as I tried to talk myself out of coming here.  I can’t
want
you.  But I can’t stop wanting you.  Kav, the universe follows its own path to the truth.  If I was meant to be bonded to you, it will be.  I accept my fate.  I accept my destiny.  It is clear. 
Il est tu
.”

It is you.

It nearly broke him to hear her say she belonged to him.  Why did he know, of all things, at this moment, that he
was
a noble vampire?

Chapter
SEV
EN

            
 
Lauren flinched as she often did when she looked at the status reports for this project.  What they had done to that man…it was criminal.  No, it was inhuman.  Unacceptably so.   She’d realized that just partway through her internship.  And was more than ready to leave.  Now, they’d involved another innocent party…and this one…she was mostly human.   She certainly wasn’t a vampire like the man.  Fragile emotions were played with and shredded in these horrible “experiments.”  Once she was back home on U.S. soil, she planned to resign by disappearing.  Well, if she could pull it off.  She’d learned that this job was a little like going to hell…admission’s free, you pay to get out.  In other words, they considered you a lifer.  This, she couldn’t bear any longer.

He didn’t deserve the torture.  Not that anyone did, but…she’d been reevaluating…it didn’t seem like vampires were exactly the heinous creatures she’d been recruited to study.  And this one, this David Patric, he had been gentle with her each time she’d had one on one contact.  Yes, she realized they’d taught her he could compel her…that her own feelings and reactions, even physical actions, would not be her own.  But she honestly knew better.  She had been compelled by a vampire once in Wales…she remembered it well.  And while she had done exactly what he’d asked her to, she was aware the entire time that she did not want to do it and couldn’t stop.  If the team hadn’t rescued her, she would have been compelled to forget everything that had happened while she was with him, and she would have.  Even
he
had been kind to her.

So.
  She’d been misled.  Vampires were certainly not any more brutal than those who performed the torture for this project.  Interestingly, she had noticed how some thrived on it.  Especially,  Joubert, project director.  Project asshole.  She swore to herself if she had to work with him one more day, she would have to kill him…or herself.  Either way, she was done forever with the likes

of
him.  She’d take the free plane ride home, though.

I
f there had been any way she could help the victims involved, she would, but she knew…she had no power… and they had a lot.  Lauren knew she’d be swallowed whole and spit out if she tried to interfere.  Her survival imperative forced her to admit she couldn’t help them now.  So she’d slink away like a dog with its tail tucked and try to forget the past two years.  She would never be proud of her involvement, but, god, she hoped she would be able to forget about it someday.  Or at least forgive herself for her part in it.  Snapping her seat belt and pulling it tight, she leaned back for takeoff.  Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.

Cherise wandered around her little bakery.  It was early, an hour before she opened…the place smelled like sugar and spice and everything nice. 
The smell of cinnamon was overwhelming right now, and it made her smile in pleasure, as well as lay her hand against her chest to stay a sharp stab of pain.  Eugene.  Lovely, huge, Eugene…by far the best cook and baker she’d ever known.  Those cinnamon buns he made, easily three times the size of any other, smothered with warm melted icing…they were an absolute favorite of the vampires in the household she’d lived in before she came here.   Just before it was attacked and bombed to the ground.