Entangled (15 page)

By this time, Jonathan was crying, too. I wiped my eyes with the backs of my shaking hands. “
Two weeks after their divorce was final, he married this other girl. Ten months after that, she gave birth to twins; identical boys so he can always have a spare,” I added bitterly. “So you see, Jonathan, there are some things love can’t forgive.”

Jonathan scooted over to throw his arms around my neck, and we rocked together as we cried. “I’m sorry, Rachel,” he said into my neck.

“Me, too,” I said. When he finally broke his hold, I gathered him into my lap. “So as you can see, what your dad did was more than a simple lie. And while I can understand why he did the things he did and made the choices he made, there’s no way I could ever trust him again, with anything. Not if I can’t trust him with that.” I shuddered as I remembered the bombshell Alex had dropped on me that day in court. Unlike what Zach had done, which was a tragic accident caused by thoughtless and neglect, Drew knew exactly what he was doing even before we met. It made the betrayal worse, somehow.

“
I can’t go back, Jonathan. Not to the girl I was when I married Zach, nor the person I was when I came out here last year. And you know what? I wouldn’t even want to.” I tightened my arms around him. “Maybe that’s the point of pain… to nudge you in the direction you need to go.”

“So you need to be here?” he asked.

“Maybe,” I answered. “Maybe I’m here for Max… or even Alex… you wanted us to get along before, remember?”

He nodded. “I just want to go back to the way things were.”

“I know,” I said as I cuddled him close. “But as long as you’re looking back, you can never move forward, right?”

He sat quietly for a moment before he looked around at our stacks of media cases with a wry grin. “We made a mess.”

I laughed. “We certainly did.”

His eyes met mine.
“But a mess can always be cleaned. Right, Rachel?”

I cupped his head in my hands and kissed his nose.
“Right.”

Twenty minutes later he shuffled off to bed, while I stored the rest of our organized media. I lingered longer than necessary, hoping maybe Alex would come back. But it stayed so quiet in the empty room I could almost hear the second hand on my watch ticking away. I pulled myself to my feet with a grunt and headed upstairs.

My phone remained silent. I never even heard when Alex got back that night. Thanks to our previous nights of fun, I was exhausted and konked out just shy of the eleven o’clock news. My eyes didn’t open again until daybreak. I checked my phone, still no word from Alex. I tried not to panic.

Millicent, the boys, and I all sat down
to breakfast by eight. I followed Jonathan to the library by nine, and by noon there was still no sign of Alex. I decided to get out of the house before it drove me insane. We packed a picnic lunch and rode the horses out toward the fruit trees, where we ate under their shade. Jonathan didn’t mention Alex’s absence, but then again with Alex’s travel and extensive track schedule, it wasn’t that uncommon for him to be gone. He was one of the hardest working rich people I knew, often matching Drew’s efforts step for step.

He just usually was much better balancing his status as a single parent.

I didn’t start to worry until dinner came and went without any sign of him. Millicent just smiled and patted my arm and told me that he had texted her and he was called away on business, that he would return by the end of the week.

Yet he didn’t call me.

He must have been really hurt.

I decided to give him the space he obviously needed, and concentrated instead on Jonathan’s studies. Millicent and I both overcompensated, going into overdrive with new things to do. On
Wednesday we took the kids to the beach, where we spent the entire day building castles and searching for seashells. Max created his own bottle of sunshine with sand and shells, and he squealed with delight when we found a perfect sand dollar.

We ate fresh seafood at a seaside café just as the sun went down, affording us a gorgeous coastal sunset. We took plenty of photos
and laughed more than any of us had all week. But nothing brightened our mood quite like returning to the house and seeing Alex’s beat up old truck out front. Max broke out into a run as he headed into the house, and I had to fight hard to keep from doing the same.

Alex met us in the foyer, looking so handsome I thought my heart might explode. He was once again close enough to touch, and looked so real and solid it was all I could do not to throw myself in his arms. My smile said it all. And nothing filled my heart with joy like seeing him return it.

He swooped Max into his arms and ruffled Jonathan’s hair. Millicent kissed him on the cheek, so I got brave enough to reach up and do likewise. His eyes were dark with emotion as he pulled back. “Come on. I have a surprise.”

“Your being home is the best surprise,” I said. “Right, guys?”

Max nodded enthusiastically as he wrapped his arms around his dad’s neck. “I missed you, Daddy!”

Alex kissed him. “And I missed you, buddy,” he said. “I missed all of you. But I had a special mission,” he added with a wink over his shoulder as we headed back toward the media room. “I finally figured out what this stale ol’ theater room was missing.” He set Max on his feet before he swung open the double doors. “A crowd.”

My brow furrowed as we stepped into the room, which was now devoid of any furniture. Instead it was filled with colorful bean bags, throw pillows and gaming chairs, all of which were filled with the familiar faces of my best friend, Nancy Gilbert, her husband, Greg, and their four kids. I let out a scream as I flew into Nancy’s arms, and my Texas family all embraced me at once with a jumble of excited words and laughter.  “What are you doing here?” I managed. I had no idea they were even planning a trip.

Nancy grinned. “Alex made us an offer we couldn’t refuse.”

Again my brow furrowed as I glanced back at Alex, who stood there with that insufferable grin. “What good is money if you can’t make people happy?” he shrugged.

I ran into his arms and gave him a big hug anyway. He held me close and it felt more like home than ever.

I quickly made all the introductions. Max and Jonathan were particularly interested in the kids their own age. Melissa, the eldest, had just turned eleven. Close on her heels was ten-year-old Becca. Nancy and Greg tried once again for a son a couple years later, when eight-year-old Allison was born. Their little prince, Benji, didn’t come along until two years after that, when Nancy finally shut down the factory for good.

They were beside themselves to be in California, much less a palatial country home. When Jonathan suggested they go see the horses, all the kids jumped at the chance. Millicent assured all the adults she would supervise, but Greg thought it would be a fine idea as well, so Alex also tagged along
as their official host. They led the boisterous group outside and toward the stables.

Nancy reached for another hug. “I can’t believe I’m actually here!”

“Me either!” I laughed as I held her tight.

“That’s quite a man you have there,” she said with that knowing glint in her eye. I knew that Alex likely never said a word, but my eagle-eyed friend wouldn’t have missed what was written between the lines. “He called us over the weekend, just to see if we were able to make the trip. We told him sure, but it would have to be fast.
Greg had to be back at work early August. By Tuesday he was on our front doorstep with four round-trip tickets. I don’t think I’ve ever packed so fast before.”

I giggled. “They have a way, these Fullerton men,” I said. We linked arms and I led her out to get the grand tour of the house.
She was equally stunned by its opulence as I once had been.

“When Alex showed up on my doorstep, this is the last thing I would have expected,” she said as she marveled at the home and the grounds.

“Right?” I agreed. “Alex is a man of many surprises.”

She caught the fleeting look on my face. “And you love him.”

I squeezed her arm, relieved to finally share it with someone. “More than I ever dreamed was possible.”

She smiled. “You look happier than I’ve ever seen you,” she said. “But what about Drew?”

I sighed. “It’s a complication, obviously. But unlike that fiasco, this is real.” We stopped in the family room, where she took my hands in hers.

“You don’t do anything the easy way, do you?”

I had to laugh. “I guess not.”

She pulled me into a hug. It finally felt my life had come full circle. What Fate had stolen, it had surprisingly restored. And I was so happy to have Nancy there to witness it.

That night the kids took over the media room, where they proceeded to plot and plan every minute of the ten-day vacation. Greg challenged Alex to a game of pool, while Nancy, Millicent and I were on cooking duty to feed our brood. It was blissful chaos that ended on the terrace, where Alex played his guitar and Nancy and I sang country standards. Greg pulled Nancy into a spirited two-step. Jonathan shyly approached Becca to follow suit, and both Alex and I had to suppress our grins as the starry-eyed Becca followed Jonathan around like a puppy for the rest of the night. All the kids wanted to sleep over in the media room, which Millicent finally agreed to chaperone.

The rest of the adults retired to the family room for wine and conversation that lingered long into the night. Somewhere around two o’clock in the morning, my Texas friends ran out of gas and headed up to the guest bedroom on the second floor, just down the hall from my room.

This left Alex and me alone for the first time all day. I took a seat close to him on the sectional. I didn’t know how to say thank you for the awesome gift he had given me, especially when I probably hadn’t deserved it after what had happened with Drew. So I took his hand in mine. “You are amazing,” I said softly. “I don’t deserve you.”

His hand closed over mine as he pulled me close into a tight hug. “Oh, baby. You deserve all this and more,” he said as he grazed his lips across my forehead. “I overheard your conversation with Jonathan the other night. I made the dumbass mistake to confront Drew, and he just filled my head with
all sorts of doubts that didn’t belong there. I came back to put the brakes on everything, just to save my stupid male pride.” He hugged me tighter. “Then I heard you talk about your life with Zach, and I realized that you’ve already been through so much, and I’m a dick to put you through any more. I’m so sorry.”

“Me, too,” I said softly as I tightened my hold on him.
“But future reference, you don’t have to freeze me out. You can tell me anything, too… even if it’s goodbye.”

His hand cupped my face. “I could never say goodbye to you, Rachel.” His eyes drifted to my mouth. “Let’s go to bed.”

My eyes widened. “But the kids…?”

“Are suitably distracted,” he said with a sexy smirk as he pulled me from the sofa and led me toward the stairs.

“And the reason behind your diabolical plan is revealed,” I giggled as I raced up the steps behind him.

“Clever, huh?” he winked as he swung me up into his arms when we hit the top floor landing.

“Brilliant,” I said breathlessly as I traced his face with my hand. He kissed me at last and I melted in his arms. Within six paces we were locked within the privacy of his bedroom, where clothes were discarded and love was renewed.

I wanted to stay
in bed with him forever, but I sneaked out just before dawn, to catch a few Z’s in my own bed before the crowded house awoke, which thankfully happened around ten o’clock, since we all had kept such late hours the night before.

We all ended up eating brunch around noon, where the children quickly filled us in on all the things they wanted to do, which was more than enough to fill a month, much less a week and a half.
As we tried to organize everything, it became clear that Jonathan would miss much of it due to his time with his folks. He managed to convince Elise, with a little help from Alex, to stay on an extra couple of days, but it was his day visit with Drew that promised to be the most problematic. I was stunned when Drew relented easily, which made me wonder exactly what had Alex revealed to him when they had their confrontation. Alex was decidedly close-lipped about it, and we really didn’t get much chance to discuss it. Our landlocked friends wanted to see the ocean, so we piled into two cars and headed to the beach.

Friday
was earmarked Disneyland, which was an all-day affair traveling between the two parks. Apparently it really was a magical kingdom. Jonathan and Becca were holding hands by the time the fireworks exploded overhead. He had wooed her in true Fullerton fashion, buying her special gifts as a reminder of their time in California. He didn’t leave out the rest of the kids, but it warmed my heart that he gravitated to the one girl others might have dismissed. While Melissa had already discovered how much she loved makeup and music and boys, Becca was the shyer bookworm. She wore glasses, her hair was long and straight, and most of her appeal came from her intelligence and humor. It touched me that Jonathan was far more attracted to that kind of girl. The Beccas of the world, and the Rachels, needed men who could appreciate our finer, more understated qualities.

Saturday we enjoyed some downtime, hanging mostly at the pool. I had to laugh as Alex morphed back into a ten-year-old himself, doing cannonballs with the kids. Nancy stayed on the side with me, unwilling to jump in and have her share of fun when she knew how traumatic the experience was for me. I encouraged her to participate anyway. These weren’t her
hang-ups.

No one was happier than I was that Max was all too willing to get back in the water. Millicent stayed close as she monitored him, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief that there were plenty of adults around to ensure my favorite kids’ safety. I could watch the fun safely from the sidelines.

Alex swam over to the side of the pool near the chaise chair in which I lounged. “Aren’t you lonely over there?” he asked softly.

I held up my book. “Never lonely, never bored.”

He smiled. “I guess it’s just me, then.” He reached out a hand but I shook my head.

“I can’t.”

“You did,” he pointed out. “Come on, Rachel. You’re not alone this time.”

I glanced over at Jonathan, who sw
am nearby. He nodded.

I sighed.
It wasn’t fair to use my student against me, especially with this. But if I ever wanted to show Jonathan that any obstacle could be overcome, I could hardly sit idly on the sidelines, the only one who wasn’t in on the fun.

“I don’t have a suit,” I offered lamely.

Alex’s hand never faltered. “I happen to know the guy who owns the pool. He’s pretty chill on the rules.”

“Alex,” I tried again, but his eyes were sure as he sent me a strong
silent message of encouragement with those amazing eyes. His hand never wavered.

With an unsteady sigh, I rose to my feet. My legs shook all the way over to the edge where he waited.  I was so scared I could hardly breathe. I sat on the edge and put my legs in the water. The water wasn’t deep there, I would never sit or
walk anywhere near the deep end, and theoretically I could slip right into the pool from this very spot and stand merely waist deep in the water.

But I already knew it didn’t take much
depth to take a life. My throat closed up as I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m afraid,” I whispered.

He put his hands on my legs. “No, Rachel. You’re fearless. I’ve seen it time and again.”

My eyes opened and met his steady gaze. Without another word he put his hands around my waist and guided me into the water. As I felt it creep up around my body, I felt my control slip. All I could think about was Jason, and what his last harrowing minutes must have been like. “Alex,” I breathed as panic overtook me.

“It’s okay,” he said softly. “I’ve got you.”

My fingers wrapped around his strong biceps in a white-knuckle grip as he guided me away from the wall. I could barely breathe, so I focused instead on his eyes as he led us toward the center of the pool. I felt my body go buoyant, which caused me to panic even more, but he pulled me into the strong circle of his arms as he swam us toward the deeper end.

“I’m not ready,” I squeaked as I held him tighter.

“If not now, when?” he said gently. “This is all in your head, sweetheart. I know you have it in you to beat this thing.”

“You don’t know what
it’s like,” I said tearfully.

“Who do you think pulled you out of the water?” he reminded. “I almost lost two people that day. And I’m never going to do that again.” My eyes searched his face as he went on. “What if there are other days, and other children,” his voice dropped, “other babies?”

My breath caught in my throat. What was he saying?

More importantly, what was he offering?

“Take a deep breath,” he instructed softly. “And believe.”

I obeyed, and together we went underwater. I felt panic grip me, but I kept my eyes on Alex until we disappeared underneath the surface. When we resurfaced, he wore a proud smile on his face. I wrapped my arms around his neck and sobbed gently into his shoulder. “That’s my girl,” he said gently as we drifted together in the bobbing waves.

Jonathan was tearful, too, as he swam over to us. Alex transferred me to my young student, who quickly became my most patient teacher as he refreshed my memory on how to swim. It took several hours, but they were both so patient as they took turns with me. By that afternoon I was able to get in and swim on my own, something I had been incapable of doing for four solid years. I was still panicky, but I had taken that first crucial step.

Again, Alex knew exactly what I needed.

We were all still poolside when Drew Fullerton descended on our family gathering like a dark cloud. Yoda made a beeline for Jonathan, who squealed with delight as he realized what his father had done. I wrapped a towel around me as I got out of the pool, and Alex glared at Drew from where he floated in the deep end.

“Looks like a party,” Drew offered casually as he approached, wearing jeans and a casual Oxford shirt.

“Dad!” Jonathan exclaimed as he shot out of the water like a bullet.

Drew was all smiles. “Hey, champ. Looks like you’ve made some new friends.”

“Let me introduce you!” Jonathan said as he dragged his dad by the arm. “These are Rachel’s friends from Texas.”

“Ah, yes,” Drew said as he walked over to the chaise lounge chairs where Nancy was catching some sun. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Ditto,” she offered as they shook hands. “This is my husband, Greg, and our brood.”

“Lively bunch!” Drew laughed.

Jonathan pulled a very reluctant Becca over to meet his dad. “This is Becca. She’s my girlfriend,” he introduced proudly.

I was ready to
open up a Texas-sized can of whoop ass if he had anything to say about Jonathan’s choice of girl. Becca hadn’t grown out of the baby fat stage, so her cheeks were full and she was pleasantly round, something I knew he derided.

But Drew knelt to greet her at eye level with his most charming smile. “It is especially nice to meet you,
Becca.”

Alex pulled himself out of the pool and reached for a towel before approaching his brother. “What brings you by?” he asked pointedly, keeping his
snark at a minimum in front of our guests.

“Today is the day I usually visit with Jonathan, so I had some free time. I thought I would bring Yoda over. Rachel and I spoke at length about it the last time she was at the house, and she felt that maybe this was a better environment for the dog. Figured this would save
her another trip to my house.”

I glared at him for dropping innuendo about something so innocent.
However Alex was surprisingly unaffected by this ironic twist of fate, with Drew doing the goading for a change. “Fine by me,” he said. “I’m sure he’ll thrive here,” he added, letting the comparison of how Jonathan and I had both thrived here hang unspoken between them.

“All
this fresh air and room to run; how could he not?” Drew shot back.

“We’re camping out tonight,” Jonathan inserted. “Up on the hill, just like you used to.”

Drew smiled down at his son. “I’m jealous. I had a lot of fun up on that hill.”

Jonathan turned to Alex. “Can Dad stay and camp with us, Alex?”

Alex studied Drew’s face. He knew it was yet another game, but he could hardly refuse Jonathan’s hopeful suggestion. After all, Jonathan was Drew’s son. And this would be a chance for him to see his father in another light, one that had long ago been snuffed out by Malcolm Fullerton. Alex turned to me and I gave a slight shrug. It was his call.

“Who am I to say no?” Alex shrugged. “It is your family home, too, after all.”

Jonathan jumped up and down from his excitement. “We were going to swim a bit longer, and then head to the campsite around dusk. Do you have swim trunks, Dad?”

“I always have swim trunks,” he grinned at his son.

“Training for Iron Man?” Alex asked.

“Of course,” Drew responded. “A man can’t control anything if he can’t control his own body.”

He didn’t look at me, but I suspected that last shot was for me. I went over to where Nancy lay tummy down on the chair, to spread more lotion onto her back. I heard her sharp intake of breath as Drew unzipped his jeans and slid them down to reveal his snug swim trunks. “Sweet Lord have mercy,” she breathed, before squealing from the dollop of cold sunscreen I plopped on her back to cool her off.

We watched as he dove into the pool, and then challenged the kids to a rousing game of Marco Polo. Nancy rested her head on her hands. “Well, I can certainly see why that was so hard to refuse. And forget.”

“Not helping,” I gritted between clenched teeth. “Especially since he’s going to be with us all night.”

“What?” she said as she glanced over her shoulder. “Are you crazy?”

“How could I stop him? This is his family home and Jonathan is his son. He has more right to be here than I do.” I glanced back at the pool, where Drew was dunking a deliriously happy Jonathan into the water. “Besides. Look at them. It is what Jonathan needs.”

“Yeah, but what about what you need?”

I looked over at Alex, who had likewise gotten back into the water. He raised Becca up on his shoulders so she could splash her sisters, both of whom took turns riding on their own father’s shoulders. They were having the time of their lives, completely oblivious to any underlying tension, thanks to his dedication to make it so. “I have everything I need,” I assured her. “I stared down my phobia about water today, I can do anything.”

“You’re playing with fire, Rachel. I saw your face when Drew walked up. You’re not over him yet. Not by a long shot.”

“I love Alex,” I corrected.

“You can love two people at the same time,” she argued.

I just laughed. “You watch too many soap operas, Nancy.”

She turned over onto her side. “I just don’t want to see you hurt anymore, hon.
And honestly, I don’t see how you can avoid it. If you stay with Alex, Drew will make damn sure you never forget he’s around. If you choose Drew, you’ll crush Alex. And if you choose neither, then you’ll devastate yourself, and both the kids.”

I sighed heavily. “I know.” It was the dirty little secret I had been harboring since I first started to fall for Alex. I had loved them both in two very different ways,
and there were no right answers. As long as I vaulted between them, it was like trying to snatch a diamond from the mouth of a cobra. “Things will be better once he marries Olivia. He might always try to tug at me because he can’t stand the idea that Alex has won, but Drew doesn’t love me. Eventually he’ll get bored and move on.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

“Then you can visit me at the loony bin. Aim for Tuesdays, I hear that’s macaroni and cheese day.”

Nancy shook her head as she laughed. “If I thought it would do any good at all, I’d drag you back home to Texas with me. But you were right. Now that I’ve met them, I can see why you’d stay. They need you as much as you need them.”

“The heart is a masochist,” I agreed.

Nancy took my hand in hers. “I know Fate has been a bitch to you, but in the end she only gives us what we can handle. These things come to you because you’re strong enough to withst
and them, pure and simple. And your strength is what they need more than anything.”