Enticed (23 page)

He wore a humorless smile as he stepped apart to end our dance. He brought my hand to his mouth and kissed my hand. “Your wish is my command,” he said before he exited the ballroom and headed to his study where his consort waited.

I fought tears as I turned over the cleaning duties to the staff, and escaped
to my room. For a brief, crazy minute I wished that Drew hadn’t ripped up that ticket.

I was seriously tempted to do just what Alex had asked me to do… to get the hell away from thes
e two brothers who kept tearing me in opposite directions.

The next day I didn’t bother leaving my room. I stayed in bed, uncharacteristically sleeping in late, to enjoy my downtime before Jonathan returned home that evening.

At least that was what I told myself. Truth be told, I didn’t want to run into Drew and his playmate. I honestly didn’t think I could stomach seeing the two of them together, knowing what they had likely done all night. I never thought of myself as a jealous person, but the idea of her wrapped in his arms invariably curled my hands into tight little balls that sliced my short fingernails into my own flesh.

“
It could have been you
,” the devil on my shoulder whispered sadistically.

Every time I closed my eyes I could picture them together, his hard, athletic body wedged so neatly between her slender thighs as he buried himself in her without guilt or apology. He was through waiting around for me, and he made sure I knew it.

Despite my better judgment, my ears were preened to detect their laughter, or other outbursts of enjoyment, all throughout the night. It would have been torture to hear her cries of pleasure, cries that could have come from me, but I laid awake most of the night and waited to hear her scream as he brought her to the ecstasy that I had rejected. I thought it was what I wanted, to be free of his amorous attention, but I knew all I had to hear was one peep from his bedroom and my heart would have dissolved right into dust.

That
night had been as silent as every single night that had preceded it. The next morning, all I heard were the cleaning crews who restored our home to its former glory.

“
Our home
,” I thought with a sneer. This was never my home. I had a bedroom and an office, but an office and bedroom do not a home make. I had added nothing to the multi-million dollar mansion, except for maybe an art suggestion or two.

But walk around in my flannel jammies with a towel on my head, scattering magazines along the coffee table in the living room? I couldn’t imagine.

Hell, I didn’t even have a tree to call my own.

Maybe it was time to go home for a visit. I knew Nancy would welcome me back with open arms, ensuring I’d have a place to stay for the holidays. Her family was my second family,
so it would be a good homecoming that I desperately needed to remind me of my roots and my core values, none of which had anything at all to do with what I had found in California.

Actually that wasn’t entirely true. Each Fullerton male had demonstrated to me that they were much better than they had allowed themselves to become. From Alex and his charitable deeds, to Drew’s dedication to his son, both men… though aggravating as hell… had shown a willingness to rise to the occasion and surprise me more than once.

But why was it my job to save them?

“
Because you can
,” the angel on my other shoulder whispered. I knew I had brought out the best in all of them, including Jonathan. Maybe if I stayed a little longer… worked a little harder… loved a little more unselfishly…

“
You could lose everything again, just like Jason
,” the devil retorted.

I knew I was in big trouble when the voices in my head couldn’t even agree
which side they were on. I sighed and pulled the pillow up over my head and tried to go back to sleep.

If I had any hard evidence that Olivia had stayed with Drew overnight, it was that he didn’t come chasing me down that afternoon. Granted he never really made a point of pursuing me after
declaring that his bedroom door would be open for me should I choose to join him. He told me what he wanted, but made sure I had to take the next step.

It would be my choice, or it wouldn’t happen.

Even the night before, when he had given me a final chance to reconsider before he filled vacancy with someone else, I ultimately made the choice whether or not we would move forward with a romantic relationship.

Clearly his days of chasing me were over.

I touched the pendant around my neck that only proved to be a consolation prize. I had told everyone who would listen that this was what I wanted, including myself. I wasn’t the kind of woman who would canoodle with the boss. I wasn’t the kind of woman who wanted to canoodle with anyone. It was best that he select someone else, someone who fit in his world. I was Jonathan’s teacher. That’s the only job I wanted, and the only job I had.

Maybe it was high time I started treating it like one. That way, when the judge gave more custody to Elise, or Drew married Olivia and completed his own family for his son, I could extricate myself with minimal emotional damage.

I went online and researched plane tickets to Texas. I’d skip their merry little holiday entirely, so that Drew could bring in whomever he deigned to fill his life as a romantic partner. I didn’t tell Nancy, not yet. I wanted to speak to Drew first. We had never discussed vacation time, but surely he’d accommodate me. I thought the time away would do us all good.

I was full of resolve as I finally exited my room that afternoon. I walked purposefully by his bedroom door and headed downstairs for a bite to eat. When I walked past his office, I noticed the door was open.
I peeked inside, hoping that none of the extra cleaning staff had gone in by accident. Drew didn’t open his study for just anyone.

Just petite blonde actresses and the occasional
teacher.

I was surprised to find Drew sitting at his desk alone, clad in jeans and an oxford shirt. Our eyes met before I could make a hasty retreat. “Rachel,” he called. “Please, come in.”

I could feel my hands shake as I entered the study. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

His eyes were dark and unreadable. “You didn’t. I’m glad we have a chance to talk before you get buried under the next party.”

I sat in the chair opposite his desk. “Actually, that was what I needed to see you about. I think I’d like to take some time off and go back to Texas through the rest of the year.”

He sat back in his chair. “May I ask why?”

“It’s the holidays,” I said unnecessarily. “I guess I’m homesick.”

He nodded as he rose from his chair. I watched as he walked to the door to shut it. He poured himself a drink before he sat back down again. “I’m afraid that is not possible.”

His refusal surprised me. “Why not?”

“I need you here for the New Year’s party, Rachel.”

I shook my head. “You know Simone can do this in her sleep. And most of the planning is already done.”

He nodded in agreement. “That’s true. That’s why I gave Simone
the next two weeks off for her vacation.”

“Oh,” I said quietly as my gaze dropped to the floor.

“So as you can see, I need you here. More than that I want you here. As does Jonathan. This is an important new year for him. The progress he’s made, the positive changes. That’s all due to you. And you should be here to celebrate it. If this is about Olivia,” he began but I shook my head.

“We’ve both made our choices, Drew,” I said. “I’m just a little fried and I need a break. That’s all.”

He gave an absent nod as leaned across his desk. “And what would you say if I told you that I sent her home last night?”

“I’d say that’s none of my concern,” I told him. I could only hope he didn’t see my hopes skyrocket that he was telling the truth. “Like I told you before, I’m not here to find a husband.”

“Right,” he said as he sat back in his chair. “Well, I’m sorry I couldn’t accommodate your vacation request. You are right. You’ve worked really hard and you deserve a break. I suppose you can schedule something after the first of the year, if you can wait that long.”

“T
hat sounds perfect.”

“Is there anything else?” he asked as he studied my face.

I shook my head as I rose to my feet. “Thank you,” I offered before I turned to leave. I had reached the door before he spoke again.

“The door is still open, Rachel,” he said softly.

I said nothing as I slipped through the door and down the hall. This time when I escaped into my room, it was to hide the small, victorious smile on my face.

The following Monday was Christmas Eve, which meant that business, for the next few days, as on the backburner for all three of us. Drew must have taken my burnout to heart, because neither he nor Jonathan bothered me that Sunday to go on any family outings. That left me alone to relax, but I felt antsy with nothing on my agenda that I
had
to do. So I called Nancy to wish her a happy holiday, as well as tell her about my vacation plans.

“You’re coming home?” she squealed. “That’s the best present you could give me!”

I laughed. “I just needed a break. I’m up to my ears in their family drama. I think I need a reminder that they aren’t, in fact, my family.”

“Living in their home
must confuse the issue considerably,” Nancy sympathized. “Maybe you should get a place of your own.”

“There’s an idea,” I said as I mulled it over. “The original stipulation was that I could be close enough that Jonathan would always have access to me. But if the judge awards his mom more custody it’s pointless for me to be here at the house.”

“Pointless if you don’t want to be there,” Nancy agreed.

I pounced on the silence that followed. “You know that’s not what I want, Nancy.”

“That’s not the way the tabloids tell it,” she said.

“Don’t believe everything you read,” I told her.

“Look, I’m not judging,” she said. “Drew Fullerton is a very powerful, very alluring man. And you both are linked through your concern for Jonathan. It’s perfectly understandable if, you know, certain feelings are rearing their ugly heads. You have more of a family with Drew than you ever did with Zach.”

I wanted to argue with her but she spoke the truth like only a best friend could. “Then that’s reason enough to get the hell out of the house.”

“Or…,” she said softly. “You could take a chance and finally be happy.”

“I don’t have to warm his bed to be happy, Nancy.”

“Don’t you?” she asked quietly.

I sighed. “I don’t know.” Finally I could hold it in no longer. “I’m scared.”

“Of course you are,” she said. “You wouldn’t be human if you weren’t. Even if you didn’t have the history that you have, you’d still be terrified. But some risks are worth taking. I mean, even with the way he turned into a total shit afterwards, without taking a chance with Zach you’d have never had Jason. And wasn’t he worth it all?”

A tear slipped down my cheek. “Every minute.”

“Follow your heart, hon,” she advised softly. “You know you will always have a soft place to fall, no matter what.”

I smiled. “I love you, Nancy.”

“Love you right back,” she said. “Now go be happy.”

I had dinner prepared by the time the boys got back. Jonathan bounded into the kitchen first, to regale me with tales from their day. I listened happily as I put the finishing touches on our meal, and he helped me carry the dishes into the dining room. When Drew joined us, I felt overcome with emotion just seeing him fill the doorframe. It seemed just confessing my feelings to Nancy had been enough to fuel the forbidden fire from a spark into a flame. I knew then that right or wrong I loved him. Right or wrong I wanted him. As each minute ticked by, I felt the angel and the devil on either shoulder meet right in the middle, urging me (in Nancy’s voice no less) to take this chance to be happy. He was fighting for me, from dealing with his brother to sending Olivia on her way the night before.
He had done everything in his power to show me that I fit in his world, I fit in his life, and I fit in his family.

Why was I holding out?

I made my decision long before dinner was over. The boys helped me clean up afterwards, and I was tempted to make an early night of it so that I could prepare myself for the big step I was about to take that evening when I finally walked through Drew’s bedroom door. I hadn’t made love with a man in more years than I could count, so I was alive with anticipation of the gift I was about to give to him, and to me. Every time our eyes met, or he smiled at me, or we stood a little too close, I felt the forbidden flame smolder just under the surface, almost impossible to hide. I needed to be alone to fully prepare myself for this dramatic, exciting and terrifying change.

Drew and Jonathan
, on the other hand, had other plans. They each took one of my hands in theirs and led me to the study, where I found a small, real Christmas tree just waiting to be decorated. Tears sprung into my eyes as they pulled dozens of plain ornaments from their shopping bags, with paint and glitter and all kinds of stickers with which to decorate them. This had been their true mission that day, and the one reason they hadn’t asked me to come along with them. They were giving me back a family Christmas just like the ones from my childhood. I was so overcome that I burst into tears when they produced some molding clay so we could make a family ornament just like I used to make with my Gram and Gramps. We each put our forefinger in the clay to mark our fingerprints around the edge to mimic a wreath design. In the middle we put a shiny penny from the current year.

A fire blazed in the fireplace as we listened to Christmas music and decorated our tree. Cleo brought egg nog and gingerbread as a special late night snack, and ultimately we pulled both her and Harrison into the festivities so that the entire household could be a part of it. It was midnight before Jonathan finally pooped out and headed to bed. I sat on that leather sofa and stared at our tree, happier than I had been in a long, long time.

When Drew asked me if I wanted a drink, I nodded. He poured us a couple of glasses before he joined me on the couch. “Thank you,” I said as I met his eyes. “This was the best gift you could have given me.”

He wrapped an arm around me. “You’re home, Rachel.
I never want you to doubt it.”

I nodded and my eyes fell to his lips. His mouth was sensual and welcoming, so I leaned in to kiss him softly. His breath caught as I deepened the kiss
, and he wound his hand into my hair as he pulled me closer. When our mouths broke apart, his eyes were cloudy with his desire. “Are you sure?” he whispered.

I smiled. “I was sure at dinner.”

He traced my face with his fingertip, running it gently across my parted lips. “Then you are my gift,” he murmured as he reached for another kiss. I felt myself melt as his tongue parted my lips and took possession of my mouth. Each kiss was hungrier than the last as we allowed our hands to explore the one another. His chest felt like heaven under my palms as they slid up his shirt. With a growl he pulled the shirt over his head and discarded it off in some darkened corner.

The firelight and the twinkling lights from the tree were the only light in the room as he pressed me down onto the sofa. His hands likewise found their way up under my knit shirt, and they spread wide against my cool skin. “You feel like heaven,” he whispered against my lips
as he palmed my breast brazenly. “And you taste like sin. I’m drunk on you, Rachel.”

With that his mouth crushed down on mine as he kissed me hard.
I groaned into his mouth as my hands tangled in his dark hair. I felt him grow hard against me as I used my leg to draw him closer, and he fit himself between my legs to grind against me through our clothes. “I’ve dreamed of you,” I confessed in between kisses. “Of this.”

“Show me,” he
commanded softly.

I trailed kisses along his satiny smooth flesh, and he fell back against the sofa as I covered him with my body. His sighs were lost in the night air as I trailed my mouth along that tummy, toward the fastener
of the jeans he wore. He strained hard and throbbing against the thick denim material, and I gasped as I cupped my hand against him for the first time. I ached deep inside. I wanted him to fill me, to complete me… to love me.

I slowly unzipped his jeans until I could release him at last. His eyes were half-open as he watched my mouth explore
him. I hadn’t pleasured a man in many, many years, but his gasps and moans guided my tongue as I covered the head of his shaft with my mouth.

“
God, Rachel,” he moaned as he gripped a handful of my hair in his fist. I teased him more than I should have, but I felt sexy and powerful as he groaned helplessly under me. Finally he could take it no longer as he pulled me up to him for another raw kiss. “You are everything I wanted,” he said against my lips.

“You’re more,” I confessed as I rocked my body against him.
If I stopped to think about it, the entire scenario was absurd. I had honestly come just for the job, and wonder of wonders, found someone who wanted me every bit as much as I wanted him. My fears retreated as I straddled him on the sofa to peel away my shirt. He didn’t take his eyes from my body as I reached around to unhook my bra and bare myself for him at last.

With a primal growl he reached up to capture one breast into his mouth. I gasped out loud as I arched myself toward him. “Drew,” I murmured and he trembled against me. He swung us around until he had braced himself against the back of the sofa, to angle toward my mouth
as his hands explored my flesh, slipping between my own jeans and my skin.

“Give yourself to me, Rachel,” he begged before he took my bottom lip in between his teeth.
I shuddered all over before I scooted back so that he could ease my jeans over the curve of my hips, discarded in the same direction as his clothes. He guided me over him with his hands on each hip, slipping easily against me until I was crazed for him to enter me.

“Please,” I whimpered as I grasped his shoulders with my fingers.

“Be absolutely sure, Rachel,” he murmured into my ear. “There’s no turning back.”

I nodded. I knew that. I didn’t want to go back to all those frustrating nights of tossing and turning. “I’m sure. Make me yours, Drew.”

He cupped my head in one hand. “You’ve always been mine, Rachel,” he informed me as he thrust himself into me, causing me to cry out. I braced on the back of the sofa as he guided each powerful stroke. He opened me up to him like a new virgin. He was confident and powerful and everything I had never known before. Each thrust was commanding and I was powerless to stop the cries as he made love to me more masterfully than I had ever experienced. His fingers and his mouth touched every erogenous zone as I ground down against him. I came almost immediately after our months’ long foreplay. From that very first dream I had been primed to be Drew Fullerton’s lover, and it was so much better than any fantasy. He lifted me easily from the sofa, walking me over to the floor on the soft rug next to the fireplace. I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him hard as my arms locked around his neck. Each languid stroke made me hunger even more for him, as if we couldn’t get close enough. I was nearly incoherent from pleasure as he took me over the edge again. He captured every scream in his mouth until he was just as crazed as I was. He drove into me until he lost control, which made me feel even sexier as he grunted and hollered into the nape of my neck. After he came, he stayed inside me, luxuriating in each and every muscle contraction as I coasted on my last orgasm.

He lifted up on each elbow to look down at me. “What an evil temptress you are,” he said as his eyes focused on my mouth. “You’re the first woman who has ever made me wait.”

“I hope it was worth it,” I teased as I ran my fingers along the curve of his face.

“You are worth anything, Rachel,” he whispered before he bent for another, tender kiss. The lights
of the tree twinkled at us as we made love a second time. We took our time and savored each other. By the time we reached his room, it was nearly three o’clock in the morning. It was dawn before I slipped from his bed and headed for mine. I fell asleep with every square inch of my body branded by his touch.

For a fleeting moment, I thought about Alex.
I knew what he would think of my behavior, but I wasn’t about to let that stop me. His judgment hurt, though I didn’t know why. But he would have to find a way to deal with this change on his own time. I had two priorities: Drew and Jonathan.

That Christmas Eve we opened one gift a piece,
and then went to our separate bedrooms. I joined Drew a little after midnight, where we spent another sleepless night tangled together. As I slipped from the bed, he grabbed my wrist. “Let’s tell Jonathan today,” he said. “Let’s give him the family he desires. It’s the only gift he really wants.”

I shook my head. “It’s too soon for that,” I said.

He leaned on one elbow. “Don’t you love me, Rachel?”

“You can seriously ask me that question?” I asked.

“Then why wait? We’ve waited long enough to find you as is. Let’s tell the world.”

Again I thought of Alex. “It’s none of the world’s business,” I said.

I could no longer lie to him. He saw right through me. “This is because of the gold-digging rumor, isn’t it?”

I shrugged. “It’s a complication we don’t need. Let’s just enjoy this gift.”

“I want that more than anything,” he said. “That’s why it kills me to see you leave my bed.”

I bent for a kiss. “I’ll be back tonight,” I promised. He groaned deep in his throat as he kissed me hard.

He made no further protest as we got closer to the New Year’s party. We were all busy with the party preparations, and our late-night dalliances meant we were working hard on very little sleep. It was worth every minute. I had never been so happy. I was like a bride in his bed, being taught of the magic of lovemaking by a masterful lover who knew my body even better than I did. When he dipped in between my legs and explored me with his artful tongue, I had to stuff a pillow in my mouth to avoid waking the whole house. By New Year’s Eve, all he had to do was look at me and I would tremble in anticipation of what was to come. It was so much better than any dream. The angel on my shoulder wondered what the catch was, but my cries of joy often silenced her.