Erica's Choice (7 page)

Even before she responded, Griff could see that was exactly what Erica was trying to say, in her too-well-bred-to-be-that-blunt manner. She wanted them gone, not five minutes after they’d shared their bodies. The swiftness of her dismissal stabbed at Griff’s gut.

Tonight Griff had gotten a glimpse of perfection. A sensuous, giving woman willing to push her sexual boundaries and a man who—God help him—he’d been quietly in love with for years reacting to him as more than a mate for the first time. The potential for the ultimate satisfaction was there, but it was out of reach if Erica wasn’t willing to explore it.

“I think it’s best if you go.”

Erica’s quiet statement confirmed it. She was kicking the both of them out of bed before they ever got in it.

“How can you say that, Erica? I thought we’d spend the night together. Don’t you want to?”

“Corey, I can’t.”

“We don’t have to do anything. We can just talk or sleep. Whatever you want.”

Griff felt his skin prickle. Wachawski was on the verge of making a huge fool of himself.

“Corey, please. I didn’t expect you to stay after we had sex.”

Corey took a step backward as though she’d punched him. Instinctively, Griff strode toward him, clapping him on the shoulder in case he needed the steadying hand. “Come on, Cor. Time to head off.”

“What? No.” Corey shook his head and implored Erica. “It was more than sex. You felt it too, I know it.”

“Corey, don’t.” Griff needed to do a little imploring of his own. He couldn’t stand to see Corey get snubbed like this and have the guy reduced to begging. Griff understood what he was going through. He also wished like hell tonight had lasted longer than this, but what could they do?

Not stay where they weren’t wanted, that was for damn sure. That was something Griff had promised himself he’d never do again.

Griff tightened his grip on Corey’s shoulder and urged him toward the door. Erica watched them move away, an unreadable expression on her face. It was as though she’d disappeared inside herself, throwing up a solid wall between her and the outside world. A barrier between her and them.

Instinct told Griff that barrier wasn’t coming down anytime soon.

Snagging their shirts from the floor on the way, Griff guided a stunned Corey out of Erica’s house. They didn’t say anything as they got into Griff’s car and he pulled out into the street. Corey remained silent for so long Griff felt the need to break the tension. “Rejection’s supposed to build character, you know.”

Corey snorted softly. “Jerk.”

Griff smiled to himself and kept driving. They made it to the street in front of Corey’s apartment complex before either of them spoke again.

Sounding resigned, Corey said, “I still really like her.”

Griff thought of Erica’s silly habit of thanking him for getting her off, of her blushing admission that she owned sex toys. He sighed weightily. “I like her too.”

“I think there’s something wrong. Something must have upset her to make her do…what we all just did.”

Corey’s words echoed Griff’s thoughts. From the start he hadn’t picked Erica Shannon as the threesome type. “Maybe, but that’s none of our business.”

He felt Corey’s gaze on his profile, sensed the myriad questions he considered asking. He wanted to broach the subject of what happened in the shower, or what
might
have happened between the two of them if they’d spent any more time in three-way heaven. He was wondering where they went from here, now that it seemed they both had an equal stake in the whole Erica situation.

“I won’t do anything about her. She’s yours if you want to give her a call, check up on her.” The offer tightened Griff’s chest.
She’s only a woman, Griffin. Plenty of those around.
“Just because she couldn’t handle two on one, doesn’t mean she wouldn’t be interested in hearing from you.”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Go on.” Griff forced a smile. “It’ll be a change-up, you having to pursue a girl for once. Usually they fall in your lap and beg you to fuck ’em. You’ve gotten lazy.”

Corey flipped him the bird, a grin playing on his lips.

Griff let out a quiet sigh of relief. If there was a dose of regret mingled in with it, so be it. He’d done what he should have done from the first—stepped aside and left the lovebirds alone. He knew he was cutting off any possibility that he’d get to explore Corey’s interest in
him
, too. Griff would never forget tonight though, or those brief moments where Corey had looked at him like he wanted to go down that road.

He had a bad feeling it wasn’t going to be so easy to forget about Erica Shannon either.

Chapter Five

“Are you going to the Sovereign tonight?”

Erica managed to hide her inner wince at Pam Spencer’s question. She even managed to answer in a normal voice, one that didn’t give away the truth.
I had sex with two of those hunks the girls are always talking about and now I can’t ever go back there.
“Not tonight.”

“Oh come on, it’s Julie’s birthday.”

“I’ll have to owe her a drink another time.”

Erica felt her colleague’s assessing gaze on her face. Suddenly she asked, “Erica, are you all right?”

The direct question surprised Erica enough that her façade of calm slipped. She choked on her answer, making it appear like the lie it was. “Sure I am.”

“No you’re not,” Pam concluded. “All day you’ve been so distracted and pale. You’re not sick, are you?”

The stress of the last few days seemed to fall on Erica’s shoulders all at once, and she trembled under the weight of it. Her voice quavered. “I hope not.”

Something lit in Pam’s hazel eyes, a flare of determination. “Come on. I’ll buy you a coffee.”

“Weren’t you going to the Sovereign?”

Pam waved a hand and twisted her lips. “I’ve never liked Julie that much.”

Astoundingly, Erica laughed. It released the pressure from her chest and made the sting of suppressed emotion moisten her eyes. “Neither have I.”

“We have more in common than I thought.”

They left the school grounds on foot, walking the two blocks to a small shopping complex that comprised a movie-rental place, several takeaway food outlets and a friendly neighborhood coffee shop the teachers at Ashton Heights often frequented. Now, the place was sparsely populated and none of the patrons were Erica’s fellow teachers. She and Pam took a booth table at the back and ordered a latte each.

After a couple of minutes of small talk about their respective classes, Pam said, “Listen, Erica, we don’t usually spend a lot of time together outside of work, but I know you’ve been through a lot this past year.” Everyone at the school was aware Erica had taken carer’s leave, and she’d been sent a lovely arrangement of flowers from the English department when Aunt Claire had passed. “And you only transferred to Ashton Heights in February. It had to have been hard to make friends with all that was going on. I just want you to know that if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.”

Pam was an attractive, freckle-faced blonde with light hazel eyes and a fondness for wearing zany earrings. Today a pair of colorful parrots dangled from her lobes. Erica had always thought Pam a nice person. And it
had
been difficult to form meaningful friendships at Ashton Heights when her year had been spent wrapped up in Aunt Claire’s medical issues.

Or perhaps her lack of deep relationships had more to do with her innate reticence than circumstance. She could have reached out to Pam at any time. Erica had always known she was a woman willing to lend a sympathetic ear.

“You’re right, I have been stressed about something.” Erica took a sip of her coffee without tasting it. Her heart started to pound.
Just say it. She’s a woman, she’ll understand.
“I found a lump in my breast.”

It was the first time she’d said it out loud. Erica was both terrified to have the words vocalized and relieved that the truth was out there.

Immediately, Pam reached across the table and touched Erica’s arm. “Oh, Erica. I kind of sensed it wasn’t the flu but I had no idea. How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine.” The answer was automatic, but Erica found herself annoyed by her own lie. Would it kill her to admit she wasn’t as strong as she wanted to be? “Actually I’m not fine. I found it last Friday morning, in the shower. I went to work for some crazy reason, and I felt like I was in a daze. Then I…”

Erica pulled back on offering the details of what she’d done Friday night. That was not something she was comfortable sharing with anyone. “I spent the weekend trying to sort it out in my head. I didn’t want to face it but I had to. Calling my doctor was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I don’t know what I was waiting for, I have a family history. I can’t afford to waste time.”

“Your aunt,” Pam concluded softly. “It was breast cancer, wasn’t it?”

Erica nodded, feeling the familiar painful pang that reminders of Aunt Claire’s last weeks still engendered. “Inoperable by the time they found it. We only had a few more months together.”

“I’m so sorry. That makes this worse, doesn’t it? You having a family history.”

“Yes. Sometimes I feel like searching for lumps has become an unhealthy obsession.” Erica tried for a smile. “But what choice do I have? I have a mutation on the BCRA1 gene—I went to genetic counseling last year, had the test when Aunt Claire was diagnosed. My chances of living to a ripe old age
without
contracting cancer are pretty slim.”

“Oh bugger.” A crimson flush infused Pam’s face. “I feel awful. Here I was all day feeling sorry for myself because I went on a blind date the other night with a guy who started picking his teeth with his fingernail at the dinner table.”

Once again Pam made Erica laugh when she was least expecting it. She wiped moisture from the corners of her eyes. “With his
fingernail
? That is terrible.”

They shared a laugh over the ludicrousness of it. Then Pam sobered. “Good Lord, it must make dating a nightmare for you.”

“I haven’t done much of that lately.” What happened last Friday with Corey and Griff did
not
constitute dating. “I was going out with a man a while back, but once he found all this out he couldn’t get away fast enough.”

“What a loser.”

Pam’s vehement statement sounded good to Erica. It was true—Doug had not been a winner, or even a nice man. Neither had he been a very capable lover. Recent experience had turned a glaring spotlight on that fact. Erica had no idea why she’d waited for him to break up with
her
.

Except that, given her situation, she’d never really thought she could do better.

“Never mind. There are plenty of men out there who wouldn’t care about your medical problems.”

“I doubt it.” The gene mutation she carried also made her susceptible to other forms of cancer, most notably ovarian cancer. Even if this lump turned out to be a harmless cyst, or if it was malignant and she managed to survive the necessary treatment, she would always be at risk. Chemotherapy could make her sterile or her ovaries might have to be removed before she could have children.

What man would be willing to accept such a long list of negatives in his potential mate?

“It’ll work out, you’ll see,” Pam announced brightly. “This lump will turn out to be nothing, and you’ll find someone to support you through whatever else life brings. That’s what’ll happen, mark my words.”

Erica offered a wry smile. “You’ve decided this, have you?”

“You bet.” Pam grinned. “I like to plan my friends’ lives for them.”

“That’s good to know.” Despite Erica’s droll response, Pam’s words warmed her and chased away some of the ice-cold anxiety. No matter the outcome, she sensed Pam wouldn’t bolt if things got ugly. That their acquaintance had begun to turn into a real friendship.

And Erica was finally willing to admit that soldiering on alone was not the best way to handle her situation. She needed all the friends she could get.

Erica and Pam didn’t leave the café until the barista started stacking chairs on top of tables all around them. Erica begged off Pam’s suggestion of continuing on to dinner. She had slept only fitfully for the past few nights. She was exhausted.

Deciding to fix herself something light, Erica bought fresh salad ingredients and a portion of barramundi. She might not feel much like eating, but she needed to keep her strength up.

She was in her kitchen adding spices to the fish when her phone rang. Her hands were covered in chopped coriander and garlic, so Erica decided to let the machine get it.

“Hi, Erica, it’s Corey.” In the subsequent pause Erica’s heart refused to beat. He cleared his throat and added, “Corey Wachawski.”

As if she was always bringing Coreys home and letting them strip her bare for the enjoyment of their friends. Erica’s knees buckled. She dropped the fish into the baking dish and stood motionless, listening to every word in stunned silence.

“Don’t be creeped out that I looked up your number, it’s in the white pages. I had to call because…I’ve been thinking about you, Erica.”

His admission made Erica slump against the kitchen counter with a shocked gasp.