Escorted (34 page)

“I’m not. I
just thought it might be good for you to see that you’re not the only one who
might ...” She trailed off, suddenly scared she was presuming too much. Ander’s
eyes were cool and wary on her face. But she pushed on, “Who might wish that
things were different.”

After a tense
moment, his expression changed and he let out a hoarse breath. “Yeah.”

Lori tried to
hide her relief, once again determined not to make a big deal about any kind of
sharing Ander was willing to do.

“Were you mad
at me?” she asked in a small voice, staring down at her pasta. She felt Ander
give her a sharp look, so she explained, “When you found out I knew who you
were?”

“No.” Only then
did she dare to look back up at him. He appeared strangely tired all of a
sudden. “The truth is I was so glad you knew.”

*
* *

They went back to Ander’s place,
since it was only a few blocks from the restaurant. Lori wasn’t sure he would
suggest it, so she just acted like it was understood and headed there after
they'd told Don goodbye.

She’d been over
to his place countless times. There didn’t have to be anything significant
about her going there tonight.

But Ander’s
silence on the walk revealed that he knew there was.

They’d gotten
inside and Ander had locked the door before he finally spoke. They faced each
other in the entry hall and he asked, “So are you going to tell me the final
intention of your little inquisition tonight?”

Lori sucked in
a sharp breath. “It wasn’t an inquisition! Really. I didn’t mean—”

“I didn’t
intend to imply it was rude or intrusive,” Ander interrupted, his face calm and
his voice even. “But there’s something underlying it. Are you going to tell me
what it is?”

Groaning, she
rubbed her scalp in frustration. “I thought I was being clever and subtle.”

Ander actually
laughed. “It was very well done. But I know you too well, Lori.” When she just
stared at him, he prompted, “Are you going to tell me?”

Since he’d
asked for it, she just blurted it out, “Why won’t you have sex with me?”

He shook his
head with a rueful smile. “I thought that might be what this lingering stroll
down memory-lane was about.”

“I’m serious, Ander,”
she insisted, afraid he was going to dismiss the issue with characteristic
irony. “I’m happy to wait as long as you need if you’re not ready, but can’t
you tell me what’s going on?”

Ander’s spine
stiffened, almost imperceptibly. And he licked his lips in what she understood
was hesitation. But when he spoke his voice was natural, almost casual. “We can
have sex, Lori. Of course, we can have sex.”

“But—”

“I wasn’t sure
if you were ready. But, if you want, we can have sex tonight.”

Lori stood
frozen in place, confused and disoriented. He had to have known she was ready
before tonight. There was no evidence of dissembling in his manner or tone, but
something about his response didn’t ring true.

“Ander?”

He smiled at her
as he moved farther into his loft. “Surely, you know how much you turn me on.
You weren’t worried about that, were you?”

“No,” she said,
trying to keep up. “But I thought...I mean, you were...” She stopped and stared
at the floor so she could focus. Forced her mind to work clearly.

Ander walked
through the living area toward his bedroom. When her mind cleared enough, she
followed him and found him standing in the entrance to the bedroom with a look
of concentration on his face.

“What’s wrong?”
she asked, grabbing him by the arm. Something wasn’t right here, and she still
wasn’t positive about what it was.

But she was
starting to get an idea.

Ander looked
over at her absently. “Sorry. I was trying to remember where I put the condoms
when I took them out of my case. I know I had a lot of extra.”

Lori blinked at
him, momentarily distracted from the larger issue. “Didn’t you have some in
your place already?”

“No.” With a
small, rueful huff, he admitted, “I’ve never had sex here before.”

Despite all
she’d learned about Ander over the last months, she still felt dizzy from
astonishment. “What?”

“I’ve never had
sex in this apartment before.”

“But you’ve
lived here for ten years.”

“Yes. What’s
your point?”

“But ...” Lori
gulped, processing this revelation. “You’ve only ever had sex with clients?”

Ander glanced
away. “Since I started working...yes.”

And now Lori
was sure she knew what was going on, why Ander had been stalling, why he was
acting like everything was normal when clearly something was bothering him. Not
sure how to address it, she dealt with another issue first.

Putting a soft
hand on his chest, she murmured, “Ander, I don’t think we need to use a
condom.”

She felt him
jerk very slightly. “What do you mean?” he gritted out. He wasn’t quite meeting
her eyes.

“I mean, you’re
the only man I’ve ever had sex with, and you haven’t had sex with anyone but me
in over seven months. Right?”

“Right.”

“I know how
vigilant you’ve been about your health. You’re healthy. I’m healthy. Neither of
us are having sex with anyone else. We don’t need the condom.”

“But I’ve had
sex with all those other women—”

Lori felt a
pang of sharp pain at the thought—at the thought of Ander fucking all of those
women over all of those years. But she pushed through the pain to what she knew
was true. “They’re in the past, Ander. And you didn’t get a disease from any of
them. We don’t need the condom.”

Ander’s face
changed, softened. He reached over to cup her cheek with a hand that had always
been so warm. “Lori, unless you’re ready to start having babies, we still need
the condom.”

Despite the
seriousness of what they were dealing with, Lori couldn’t hold back a giggle.
“I didn’t forget about that, Ander, but I’ve been on birth control for ages. As
soon as I decided to see you regularly, I went to the doctor. I know we were
always careful about the condoms, but accidents happen, and I really didn’t
want to get pregnant.”

Ander made a
strange guttural sound. One she didn’t recognize. Then he looked away from her
again.

Her heart
racing frantically and her fingers trembling a little, Lori reached up to take
his face in her hands and make him meet her eyes. “Ander, just tell me the
truth. Why do you keep stalling?”

He swallowed so
hard she saw it in his throat. But this time he didn’t evade the answer. “I do
want to. Desperately. I’m just...I’m just terrified.”

Lori’s lips
parted, half astonished although she’d suspected something like it. Just not so
extreme. “Why are you terrified of making love to me?”

“Because that’s
what it would be.” Ander swallowed again. Looked horribly uncomfortable. But he
managed to force out, “I’ve never done it before.”

Emotion rose
from Lori’s heart to her throat, so deeply she almost couldn’t breathe. With
one brief sob, she threw herself against him and hugged him urgently, burying
her face in his shoulder to hide her sudden storm of feeling.

Ander hugged
her back with fierce passion, and they stood in the entrance of his bedroom
embracing for a long time.

Finally, Lori
pulled away and managed to say. “I’ve never made love either. Not for real.
It’s the first time for both of us. But don’t you want to try?”

He laughed
unexpectedly, half ironic and half affectionate. And he said, “Yeah. I want to
try.”

*
* *

Lori was so relieved by Ander’s
answer that she couldn’t stop herself from kissing him. It turned out to be a
good idea.

Ander kissed
her back with a fervor that took her by surprise. And, after a few minutes of
kissing in the doorway to the bedroom, they stumbled over to the bed without
any further reflection or discussion. With some muttered cursing from Ander and
some giggling from Lori, they managed to yank off all of their clothes while
still kissing and caressing each other.

Then finally
they were naked in the bed together, with Ander settled between her thighs and
her arms twined around his neck. It had been so long, and it felt so familiar.
But the look in Ander’s eyes wasn’t familiar. He’d never looked at her like
this when they’d had sex before.

It wasn’t just
hot, hungry, or needy. It was tender and possessive both. Like she was
everything to him—everything he’d ever wanted. She still occasionally caught a
flicker of anxiety but it didn’t get in the way. She was a little afraid
too—her hands were shaky as she stroked his back and the curve of his head, but
the nervousness didn’t matter.

Lori’s heart
felt like it was flying with a joy too rich for giddiness, and her body was
responding quickly. She hadn’t had sex in months. And, while she’d made good
use of the vibrator Ander had given her almost a year ago, it just wasn’t the
same.

But now Ander
was here. His body was hot and heavy on hers, and his flesh was solid and
deliciously tight.

“Oh, Lori,” Ander
said, his voice already thick with desire. He’d pulled out of the deep kiss and
was trailing his mouth down her neck toward her breasts. “Fuck, you feel
incredible. You have no idea how good you feel.”

She whimpered
in response to his words, and then arched up as his mouth closed around one of
her nipples. He sucked and flicked his tongue until jolts of pleasure shot down
to her heated arousal.

When she was
clawing at his neck, he finally pulled his lips away and mouthed his way down
her belly and back up to her other breast. Soon, Lori was gasping and mewing
and trying to rub her groin against his thigh.

Ander spent a
long time on foreplay. While she was desperately eager to have him inside her,
she understood his moving slow.

So she let him
kiss and fondle her until she was sopping wet, writhing, and flushed from head
to toe.  She clutched frantically at Ander’s head, which was pressed against
her belly. One of his hands was tweaking her sensitized nipple while the other
was massaging the back of her knee.

“Ander,” she
begged at last, wound so tight she was afraid she was going to come just from
foreplay. “Ander, please, I can’t wait anymore.”

He grunted
against her abdomen and then slowly raised his head, as if it was too heavy to
lift. His eyes were glazed, and his face deeply flushed. He took a few raspy
breaths and stared down at her, sprawled wantonly beneath him. “Yeah,” he said
hoarsely. “Neither can I.”

With eager
hands, she helped him position himself between her legs. His cock was fully
erect, so hard she was afraid to touch it. So she let him line himself up at
her entrance and push the tip of his cock inside.

His eyes met
hers. They were still a little glazed, but she could see the blaze of emotion
and the flare of fear mingled in their depths.

“Me too,” she
breathed, tightening her arms around him. “Ander, me too.”

He understood.
He pitched his hips forward.

Nothing between
them now. Nothing at all.

Lori cried out
loudly on the initial penetration. Her channel stretched pliantly with the
intimate intrusion, but she was tight and he felt so substantial. It didn’t
hurt. It was just all so overwhelming.

After the first
surge of aching sensation, her long restrained lust took over.

Whimpering with
pleasure and need, she pumped her hips beneath him involuntarily, too far gone
to even wait for him to thrust.

“Lori,” Ander
choked out, his arms bent and his mouth right at her ear. “Fuck, Lori. You’re...You’re...Oh
fuck.” His hips started to move with hers, their motion fast, clumsy and wild.

Lori was
practically sobbing in pleasure, need, and emotion. They were out of control
and wouldn’t last long, but it was so much better than it had ever been before.

She knew Ander
cared for her. He knew she cared for him. And they were sharing something far
more than their bodies.

“Ander,” she
gasped, her back arching up as her pelvis bucked shamelessly beneath his. She
was so wet she could hear the wet noise of suction, beneath the slapping of
their skin together and the shaking of the bed. “Ander, gonna come. Oh, God!
Make me come.”

Ander released
a groan so loud it was almost a shout. His hips pistoned against hers, his cock
sliding inside her clinging channel in tight, primal thrusts. “Lori. I can’t...Fuck,
Lori. Come, baby. Come for me.”

His hoarse,
uneven words were the most erotic thing she’d ever heard. The pressure at her
center coiled up so tightly she couldn’t keep quiet. She made helpless,
rhythmic sounds—something between gasps, sobs, and screams.

And then she
did scream, as the tension finally broke.

Ander came with
her, her clenching inner walls trapping him inside her and pulling him into
climax too. She cried out Ander’s name with a lot of other wordless sounds as
her body bent back like a bow and her pelvis kept riding out the spasms of her
pleasure.

Because Ander
came at the same time she did, all she was conscious of was his twisting face,
the shuddering tremors that ran through his body, and the breathtaking look of
shattering release in his eyes. The choked sounds he made as he came were
muffled by her flesh, since he bent his head forward to bite the dip of her
shoulder.

They clung
together, gasping and kissing with sloppy ardor as she became aware of
something she’d never experienced before.

Ander’s semen
inside her.

He had
collapsed on top of her, not pulling off as he always had before. He buried his
face against her hair and neck, muttering out incoherent endearments as they
both tried to pull themselves together.

Lori couldn’t
remember anything ever feeling as good as his hot, heavy, sated, softening body
on hers. She’d never gotten to feel him this way. Never gotten to experience
anything after the orgasm.