Ethan (Alluring Indulgence) (31 page)

♂♂

Ethan
took his time moving back into position, now straddling Beau’s very naked thighs.
He admired the significant length and girth of Beau’s erection openly, his
mouth watering with the urge to taste him.

“Hold
that thought,” Ethan said suddenly, sliding down Beau’s body until he could
snake his tongue out and touch the engorged head of Beau’s rigid cock.

Beau
hissed in a breath and Ethan intensified his efforts, laving Beau’s hard length
with his tongue and lips, licking, sucking. Using one hand, Ethan cupped Beau’s
balls, kneading them gently, but firmly, squeezing until Beau was thrusting his
hips. He loved Beau’s reactions, pure, unadulterated pleasure written on his
face.

He
continued until Beau latched onto his hair, an urgent request, something Ethan
knew all too well.

He
wasn’t intending to send Beau over yet, not until he was inside of him. Kissing
his way back up Beau’s body, Ethan resumed his place over Beau’s hips, gliding
his cock against the smooth, steely length of Beau’s.

“Give
me your hand,” Ethan instructed forcefully. He enjoyed the surprise as Beau’s
eyes widened.

Obviously
curious, Beau didn’t hesitate, holding out his right hand. He was laying on his
back, Ethan straddling his hips when he poured lube into his palm. “Stroke my
cock against yours.”

Beau’s
handsome face turned a fascinating shade of red, but he did as Ethan
instructed, his grip on Ethan’s cock was so warm, he had to grit his teeth to
keep from crying out. He was over stimulated, hanging to the edge by his
fingernails.

“Tell
me you love me,” he ordered Beau.

“I
love you,” Beau said easily, making Ethan’s body warm another degree. It was
those three words that had seeped into his bloodstream and set him on fire; a
slow smolder starting deep inside.

“God,
yes,” Ethan groaned as his cock slid against Beau’s.

Beau
shifted, the tight muscles of his stomach flexing deliciously and then two firm
hands circled their dicks while Beau thrust his hips up slowly, intensifying
the friction against Ethan’s cock.

“Harder,
baby,” he encouraged, thrusting into Beau’s hand.

He
breathed through the mind-bending intensity, reminding himself that he couldn’t
lose it yet. He fully intended to be joined with Beau when that happened. He
ached to feel the blistering heat of Beau’s body gripping his dick, pulling him
in deeper and deeper until they were one.

Just
the thought had his cock pulsing, pre-cum dripping from the tip. Placing his
hands over Beau’s, he halted his ministrations. “Turn over.”

Beau
grinned, that naughty, lopsided smirk that sent more blood south, making his
dick even harder. The man was so intensely sexy. Ethan maintained his position
as best he could, shifting only enough so that Beau could twist over onto this
belly. Once he was there, Ethan moved down his legs, sitting on Beau’s calves.

He
placed a sucking kiss to each one of Beau’s ass cheeks before separating the
hard muscles and diving toward the sensitive flesh he uncovered. He plunged his
tongue into Beau’s asshole, fucking him with slow stabs of his tongue until
Beau was trying to force him deeper. Exchanging his tongue for his fingers,
Ethan continued fucking Beau with two slick fingers, pushing deep, retreating.
He found that tender spot inside that had Beau groaning a warning.

Ethan
reduced his efforts only slightly, continued to tease Beau’s prostate, driving
him wilder. When he knew Beau was hanging on the precipice right along with
him, Ethan stopped entirely and grabbed the bottle of lube he’d tossed on the
bed earlier. Squirting a sufficient amount into his palm, he greased his dick while
coating Beau’s puckered hole once more.

Because
he wasn’t able to refrain any longer, Ethan lined up and guided his dick into
Beau’s ass as slowly as he could. He wasn’t satisfied until he was as deep as
he could go. Only then did he lean over Beau and nip his shoulder. Resting his
full weight onto Beau, Ethan leaned onto his forearms and linked his fingers
with Beau’s.

“I
love you,” he whispered in Beau’s ear as he began to move, gliding in, pulling
out. The friction was exquisite, his cock tingling. This was the only place he
needed to be. Right there with the man he loved. The man he could see himself
spending the rest of his life with.

Ethan
increased his pace, flexing his hips, driving into Beau while keeping himself
pressed entirely against Beau’s back, holding him as the sparks ignited, that
glorious tingling sensation making itself known.

Beau
squeezed his fingers, pushing his hips back, driving Ethan deeper. God, it felt
good. Like he was meant to be here. As though they were made specifically for
the other, fitting together like a puzzle.

When
he began pounding his hips harder, Ethan knew he was going to have to send them
into oblivion soon, or they were both going to go crazy.

Getting
more traction by adjusting where his knees were, Ethan pushed up, still not
releasing Beau’s hands, but separating their bodies.

“You
feel so good,” Ethan said, punctuating his words by driving his hips forward.
“Fucking perfect,” he groaned.

“I’m
close, E,” Beau growled. “Close.”

Letting
go of Beau’s hands reluctantly, Ethan grabbed his hips and was rewarded when
Beau pushed back, kneeling as he kept his chest flat on the mattress. At the precise
angle, Ethan began slamming into Beau, digging his fingers into his hips.

“Come
for me, Beau. Come for me, baby.” Ethan was heading over, that initial tremor
intensifying as it took root, spiraling up his spine, out through his limbs,
making him shudder from the resplendent pleasure of it. “Come for me, baby!”

Ethan
stilled, his cock pulsing, exploding inside of Beau at the same time Beau
groaned, the muscles of his back flexing.

Unable
to hold himself up any longer, Ethan tumbled down on top of him, both of them
crashing into the mattress, chests heaving, hearts racing.

“I
love you,” Ethan told Beau, just because for some reason he liked saying it.

“I
love you, too, baby,” Beau replied.

And
just like that, Ethan was ready to go again.

♂♂

After
they shared a quick shower, Beau had fallen back into bed with Ethan. He was
exhausted. Both physically and emotionally, although not in a bad way. Resting
his head on the hard muscles of Ethan’s back, he had his arm wrapped around him
while Ethan slept on his stomach. Their legs were entwined, and the blankets
were somewhere close to the end of the bed. He didn’t care enough to move to
get them either. Ethan’s warmth was more than enough to keep him comfortable.

Completely
sated after that last round, Beau was surprised that he couldn’t get his brain
to shut down. He continued to replay the events of the day, starting with the drive
back from Houston. It was interesting how things seemed to have settled
somewhere between morning and night.

Granted,
a lot had happened in such a short amount of time.

Beau
was curious as to what Sawyer and Ethan had talked about and exactly where, along
the way, Ethan had decided that he loved him. Ok, giving Ethan a little credit,
Beau didn’t think Ethan just decided it. More like accepted it. Yeah, much
better turn of phrase.

Whatever
had happened, Beau was thankful for it. Not that he enjoyed sitting back and
watching Ethan suffer by any means, but he knew that today had been a turning
point for Ethan. Probably in more ways than one.

Reflecting
back on his thoughts that first night at the hotel, after Ethan had shared his
devastating story over dinner, Beau had to wonder whether the bumpy road they
were on had finally wound down to a smooth part. He hoped so. Ethan deserved as
much.

If
there was any way Beau could keep them on this path, he was more than willing
to do whatever it took.

He
remembered what Sawyer mentioned about Ethan needing to talk to a professional.
Beau wondered whether Ethan was open to it. Beau would gladly stand right there
beside him through the entire process if it would help to ease some of the hell
Ethan had been living with for nearly a decade.

When
Ethan had turned Beau’s statement back on him, comparing how he had been the
one responsible for the downturn in his relationship with his parents to what
Ethan had suffered with Gavin, he had been at a loss for words. Even his
argument had sounded weak. Ethan had made him think, and Beau had come to the
conclusion that he wasn’t solely responsible for the falling out with his mom
and dad.

Did
that mean he was supposed to do something about it? Did he want to?

Actually,
in a way he did. Beau had longed for the love of his parents, wished that they
would praise him at least once the way they had when he was the star
quarterback in high school. He doubted that by coming out and telling them that
he was gay would help the situation any.

Do
you plan to tell them?

Ethan’s
question reverberated in Beau’s head.
Did
he intend to tell them? What
would be the point? Would they slam the door in his face, possibly disown him
altogether? Despite how strained the relationship was already, Beau wasn’t sure
he could handle any more. And he knew his dad well enough that the man wasn’t
going to welcome his gay son into his home.

Shaking
off the thoughts, Beau closed his eyes and slid his hand along the length of
Ethan’s back. Touching him had become one of his favorite things to do. Ethan
completed him in ways he had never even dreamed of. And Beau had to believe
that Ethan felt the same.

Beau
knew he could believe one thing… what they had was real. What they had was
worth fighting for. Unfortunately, Beau knew it was time to prepare for that
fight because the long road ahead wasn’t going to be an easy one.

♂♂

“Hey,
little man. Looks like it’s just you and me tonight,” Ethan said to Mason when
Zoey and Kaleb finally headed out for the evening.

He
had just spent the last half hour listening to Mason’s overprotective parents
give him a rundown of every possible thing that could go wrong and exactly what
he needed to do to handle it. That was
after
Ethan convinced them that
he wasn’t incapable of handling a baby.

Apparently
asking
someone to babysit and
letting
them are two entirely
different things.

“So,
what’s on the agenda? Wanna watch TV?” Ethan carried Mason into the living room
and lowered himself into the recliner, doing his best not to jar the precious
weight in his arms. “No TV? How about we play poker?”

Staring
down at the beautiful baby boy, Ethan ran a hand gently over his downy hair,
noticing the way the black silk wasn’t nearly as thick as when he’d been born.
He peered into blue-gray eyes that looked just like Kaleb’s.

“No
to poker too, huh? Well, boy, I’m wonderin’ just how much Walker you got in you
if you’d rather just hang out and do nothin’. That’s kinda rare with us, you
know.”

Although,
Ethan was just as satisfied as Mason to sit there in that chair, his feet
propped up, the tiny bundle in his arms curled up close to his chest. He could
almost imagine this for himself.

Never
before had he considered the possibility of children of his own and it had
nothing to do with the fact that he wasn’t going to find a wife. Adoption was a
wonderful option as far as Ethan was concerned.

No,
he’d never let himself get carried away with the idea because he didn’t think
he’d ever find someone he wanted to settle down with. Until Beau.

Ethan
could totally picture Beau as a father. He’d be amazing. The mental image
brought a smile to Ethan’s face.

Mason
cooed softly, and Ethan ran the back of his knuckle over his chubby little
cheek and smiled like a fool. “Yeah? That’s kinda the way I feel when I think
about Beau, too,” he told Mason.

That
and more.

He’d
spent two days alone with Beau in Houston, and he found that wasn’t nearly
enough. Especially after last night. Falling asleep in his arms, waking up
beside him. It defied his most outrageous dreams; it was so much better. But,
even though he still felt like he was walking on a cloud after their admissions
last night, the pessimist in him always wondered how long it would actually
last.

Not
long enough to consider having a family he was sure. That didn’t stop him from
thinking about it though.

A
knock at the door had Ethan glancing up to the enormous picture window at the
front of the house. The sun had already dipped below the horizon, but the porch
light was on and he could see the outline of a person. A very tall person at
that.

“Should
we answer that?” he asked Mason as he pushed up out of the chair and headed for
the door.

Opening
it slowly, he fully expected to see Beau. That’s not who was gracing the front
porch though.

Shit.

“Did
Kaleb send you over here? Does he not think I’m capable of handling this on my
own?”

Travis
stepped into the house and shut the door behind him, laughing in a way Ethan
was getting used to. It was nice to see Travis so laidback these days.

“They
aren’t here?” Travis asked, sounding genuinely confused.

Ethan
turned to look at Travis. “Seriously?”

Travis
glanced around the room as though trying to reinforce his answer by looking for
Kaleb but not finding him.

“How
is the little man?” Travis asked, moving over to look down at Mason who’d just
dozed off.

“Perfect,”
Ethan murmured, suddenly embarrassed that he’d said it out loud.

Turning
away, he carried Mason to the small bassinette set up in the living room. With
as much care as he could manage, he put Mason down onto his back, ensuring he
was propped exactly the way Zoey had shown him before turning back to Travis.

Ethan
was surprised to find him sitting on the couch, settled in like he was staying
for a while. A sudden irresistible urge to hammer Travis with questions
overcame him and Ethan headed back to the chair, hoping he’d come up with a
better idea before he started rattling off questions that would only embarrass
him in the end.

But
who better to ask than Travis? The man knew exactly what Ethan was going
through.

“How’re
things at the shop?” Travis asked, obviously trying to make casual
conversation.

“Don’t
know. Haven’t been back since earlier in the week. I doubt much has changed, so
that means it’s all good.”

Travis
lifted one dark eyebrow and Ethan found himself explaining. “I went out of town
for a couple of days. Took Beau down to Houston to get a tattoo.”

“How’d
that go?”

“He
didn’t get the tattoo.”

Travis
laughed. “He chicken out?”

Ethan
got defensive of Beau instantly but fought the automatic response. “No. The guy
we went to see had a family emergency. Said he’d be up this way next week and
would catch up with us then.”

“Gotcha.
The big guy doesn’t seem like the type to be scared of a little needle.”

No,
it didn’t seem like anything scared Beau. Nothing at all.

“Hey
Trav,” Ethan found himself saying, “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything,”
Travis answered, his stare suddenly filled with warmth and concern.

Awww,
hell
.
Why couldn’t Travis be the uptight dickhead he used to be? Then maybe Ethan
wouldn’t be so compelled to talk to him.

Ethan
swallowed hard, glanced down at his hands and then back over at Travis.

“Was
it hard for you to accept what you felt for Gage?”

To
Ethan’s surprise, Travis didn’t laugh, didn’t poke fun at him, and he didn’t
act as though the question was so far out of left field that he’d been
blindsided with it.

“Is
anything easy?”

Great.
This was how they were going to play it.

Ethan
considered that for a moment and responded with a resounding, “No.”

“I
won’t say I had a hard time, E. I think Gage did, so maybe you should ask him
that question.”

Right.
Like that was going to happen. Of all the things Ethan might ask his
brother-in-law, it certainly wouldn’t be about relationships.

“Talk
to me, E,” Travis encouraged and Ethan realized he’d been sitting there quietly
for long minutes.

“There’s
nothing to say,” he answered defensively.

“No?
You ask me whether it was difficult for me to accept my feelings for Gage, but
you want to tell me there’s nothing to say. Right.”

“What?”
Ethan asked, remembering to keep his voice low because Mason was asleep just a
few feet away.

“We’ve
all got secrets, E. I’m the absolute last person who would judge you. Consider
that for a minute.”

Ethan
did. He knew Travis would understand how he felt about Beau. He just wasn’t
sure he knew how to talk about it.

After
years of keeping his personal business to himself, talking to anyone was almost
painful. How he had managed to share with Beau he had no idea, except it just
felt right to talk to him. Not like he was baring his soul and someone was
ready to tell him where he went wrong. Or what he should do differently. With
Beau, Ethan knew he would listen without judging.

He
knew that was the case with Travis too, but Ethan was hesitant. If he opened up
to one member of his family, would he have to tell them all? He didn’t like the
idea of them having to defend him to anyone, much less the people they called
friends who would no doubt look down on Ethan.

“Ok,
I’m gonna ask
you
a question,” Travis said, that ever familiar
frustration seeping back into his voice.

Ethan
waited, knowing his brother wouldn’t shut up, even if he told him to.

“Do
you think we don’t know?”

“Know
what?” Ethan asked, choosing to play dumb.

“That
you’re gay, E. Do you think it’s not as obvious as the day is long? You’re
twenty-eight fucking years old, and you’ve never had a girlfriend. You’ve never
let us meet anyone except that jackass Blake, and even then you tried to
convince us he was just a friend.”

Ethan
expected to be filled with rage, but he wasn’t. He wasn’t mad at Travis for
calling him to the carpet. He just felt defeated.

“Do
you love him, E?”

Ethan
didn’t play dumb this time. Travis knew. They all knew. He’d never thought they
didn’t know that he wasn’t the same as they were, but he respected the fact
that they didn’t ask him about it. He didn’t want to share, didn’t want to put
that burden on them.

“Yeah,
I love him,” he answered honestly. Looking up and meeting Travis’ steely gaze
was harder than he expected, but he did it and then he repeated with more
affirmation in his voice. “Yes. I love him.”

“That’s
a first step,” Travis said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his
knees. “Don’t think you can protect those you love by pretending to be
something you’re not. It always comes back to bite you in the ass.

“I
mean, hell, I walked out of Kylie’s life right after we got married because I
thought she couldn’t handle the fact that I needed more than only she could
offer. I had to admit to myself and to my family that I’m bisexual. No one
turned me away, E. The people who love you are much stronger than you give them
credit for. Sometimes it just takes time to realize that.”

Ethan
swallowed past the lump in his throat. Travis, the one word wonder, just said
more in the last five minutes than Ethan had heard from him in… well, probably
in years.

“I
don’t want him to get hurt,” Ethan stated, keeping his gaze trained on Travis.
“Coming out is going to put him right in the line of fire.”

“You
think Beau doesn’t know that already? Give him some credit, E. He’s a grown man
and can make his own decisions. He doesn’t need you making them for him. So
come up with a different excuse because that’s bullshit and you know it.”

The
harshness of Travis’ words sparked the dry embers of his anger and Ethan glared
at him. “It’s not bullshit. You haven’t been there. You haven’t been beaten
because of who you love. You haven’t suffered the loss of someone who took
their own life because they couldn’t deal with not being accepted.”

Travis
looked stunned, and Ethan felt a measure of satisfaction. That didn’t last long
because he suddenly felt sick.

“What
are you talking about?” Travis asked, his voice low, his words coming out
slowly.

“Me,
dammit! And look what it’s done to the family. Dad ends up in jail because of
me.”

“Dad
wasn’t in jail. He wasn’t arrested.” Travis paused. “You better start talking,
Ethan.”

Ethan
wasn’t sure why this was coming up again, why he was caught off guard by the
pain and anger that had been brewing inside of him for years. He couldn’t keep
it in any longer. “Why? So you can go on a rampage too? Are you going to go
after Jimmy Reardon for beating me? For damn near killing me because I was in
love with his brother? Maybe I deserved it. Maybe I still do. Gavin’s dead,
goddammit! He’s fucking dead because of me!”

Ethan
shot to his feet, and Travis did the same. Before he could storm out of the
room, he was embraced in Travis’ powerful grip, and he lost it. Every emotion
he’d been holding back rose to the surface and exploded like a volcanic
eruption. Angry tears blurred his eyes as he held on to Travis for dear life.

He
had no idea how long Travis stood there, hugging him tightly before he finally
calmed down, but when he stepped back, he didn’t see the pity in Travis’ eyes
like he expected.

“Is
that why Dad went after Jimmy?”

Of
course, Travis was going to linger on
that
piece of information he’d
shared.

“I
don’t know. I didn’t ask him. He’s not supposed to know, but he does.” Ethan
already knew how that happened, and though he understood Sawyer’s reasoning, he
still felt betrayed because he’d been led to believe all these years that no
one knew. Ethan continued, “Which means he’s out to get Jimmy the same way
Sawyer is. The same way everyone will be. And it won’t change anything. It
won’t bring Gavin back.”

“Gavin?
He’s Jimmy’s brother?”

“Yeah,”
Ethan said, the anger draining out of him and leaving him feeling weak and
pathetic. He dropped onto the edge of the coffee table and stared down at his
hands and before he knew it, Ethan shared the whole sordid story with Travis.
Everything. From loving Gavin to finding him dead and every horrible detail in
between.

Travis
paced the floor for a long time. While he was making tracks on the hardwood,
Ethan made his way over to check on Mason. The little boy was sleeping soundly.
Ethan just wanted to hold him. To cradle him against his chest and absorb some
of the innocence from him.