Ever After Drake (12 page)

Lake finally looks back at me, his
eyes still angry but without the violence. He shoves Chris away and
turns to sit in his seat. “I’m sorry to hear about what happened.
It sucks, and it’s not fair.”

I glance around at the class, all of
whom are staring at us. The tardy bell rings. “Yeah,” I breathe as
I turn and head back for the front of the class.

Second period is drama free. We talk
about ancient Egypt, the bell rings, and they leave.

I have no idea what to do during my
break period. Since I had a sub the last two days, I have no
homework to grade. I’d outlined all my lesson plans for the next
two weeks at the beginning of this one.

Normally on days like this, I’d seek
out Drake.

I can’t do that now.

Once the halls are quiet again,
everyone settled in for third period, I cross my room. I turn out
the lights and lock the door. I walk back to the corner where my
desk is, place my back on the front wall, and sink to the
floor.

My knees bend up and my elbows rest on
them and I let my face fall into my hands.

Everything in me wants to sink back
into that numb and hollow state I’ve been in the last two days. It
was easier to be empty than filled with pain and broken
glass.

But I have one more class today and I
can’t fall apart now.

I lean my head back against the wall
and stare up at the ceiling.

I kept thinking about it, that first
night after Drake told me Diana was pregnant. Was there a way for
him and me to still be together, despite all this? The situation
would be complicated and messy, but could it still work?

But then I kept picturing the baby
that was to come in what? Seven months? And I couldn’t do
that.

If there was any chance that Drake and
Diana could use this time to create any kind of a positive
relationship between the two of them, they had to do it. They had
to try and make a happy family for that unborn baby. Because every
child deserves a chance at a happily ever after.

I honestly don’t ever want to see the
baby, but I will not stand in some little boy or little girl’s way
of getting a happy life.

A movement to my left catches my eye
and I look toward the door.

Drake is standing at the window that
runs the length of the door. His hands are stuffed in his pockets.
There are big bags under his eyes. He looks exhausted, beaten.
Worse than I looked this morning.

He raises a hand and presses his palm
to the window. His eyes may look empty, but I know the death he’s
experiencing inside.

Because one of the worst parts about
this is that I know Drake loves me. The night we talked in the
parking lot about the future left no doubt in my mind. Drake loves
me and I love him.

We just can’t be together.

CHAPTER
TWELVE

Time passes. It grates over you like
sandpaper when you’re already left bleeding on the rugged road,
leaving you raw and hardly able to move. But it does pass. Even
when you’re pretty sure you’re dead.

Two weeks somehow go by.

Drake and I don’t say a word. The
first few days he’d look through my window every break period, just
looking. And then he missed a day and then was back. And then he
missed three days. And then he stopped.

I saw Diana once. After school. Drake
was walking out to the parking lot. Diana was waiting at his car.
He tried to give a little smile when he saw her, but it was broken
and weak. She gave him a smile that was pretty similar. I wonder
how she feels about this.

Does she want a relationship with
Drake again? Does she remember how sweet and kind he is? Does she
get butterflies in her stomach just thinking about him?

If she doesn’t she’s a
fool.

“
Ray of Kaylee, you’ve got
to eat something.”

Armando actually sounds mad. I snap
out of whatever alternate pain-free world I’ve zoned into and focus
on his face. We’re at a Chinese restaurant. There’s a huge platter
before us, a sampler of everything on the menu, and I haven’t
touched a thing.

“
I know you complain about
your thighs,” he continues, giving me a glare. “But sweetheart, you
don’t have anything to lose. I know for a fact that you used to
weigh a hundred and eleven pounds. If you are less than
one-zero-zero, I will start stuffing cupcakes down your throat
until we get you back up to par.”

I glare at him, hurt and angry. But
also glad that someone cares.

I’m not below one hundred, but I’m
only one pound above it. And that terrifies me.

“
Kaylee, you have got to
start living,” Armando says as he hands me chopsticks. “I know how
you felt about Drake and yes, you two were perfect. But you have to
continue living a life. You can’t let this consume you for
forever.”

“
It’s been less than three
weeks. Give me a break,” I hiss as I take the chopsticks and break
them apart. I grab a tangle of noodles and shove them into my mouth
to make him happy. And don’t taste much of anything. I wish I
could, but I don’t. I can’t.

“
I know you’re hurting,
and I get that it takes time to get over people,” he says, eying me
with compassion now. “But I’m scared for you. I’ve never seen you
this low.”

It’s true. Armando has been my best
friend since high school. He’s been there for me through thick and
thin, just as I’ve been for him. I was there when he came out of
the closet our senior year, when he got his first boyfriend
freshman year in college. And he was there to wipe away my tears
after every boy broke my heart.

The back of my eyes sting and I shake
my head. “I’m done,” I say, my voice showing hints of quivering.
“No more searching for Prince Charming, no more falling fast and
hard. No more falling at all. I can’t do it anymore, Armie. I
just…I can’t survive this.”

“
You
can
survive this,” he says, reaching
over and taking my hand in his. “You’ve always survived it in the
past and I know you can make it past this one.”

I bite my lower lip and nod. “I mean
it though. I’m done looking for the one. I’m done falling in love
and getting my heart broken.”

Armando looks at me for a long time
and it’s easy to tell he doesn’t know what to say.

Finally, after over a full minute of
silence, he speaks. “Guard that beautiful, soft heart
well.”

____

I lock the door to my classroom behind
me and try not to drop my boxes at the same time. My historical lit
class has finished their papers on the differences in historical
fairy tales and modern ones. I’ve got a long night of grading ahead
of me. They’re seven page papers. Single spaced. I may have been
feeling a little vindictive when I gave the assignment two weeks
ago.

“
Hey.”

School got over two hours ago, the
halls should be dead silent right now, so I drop my box and papers
go flying I jump so hard.

I look up to see Sage walking toward
me.

“
Sorry,” she says, bending
to help me gather the papers back up. This is a trick, considering
the four inch red pumps she’s wearing. She’s also wearing skin
tight black pants and an oversized white button up shirt with black
polka dots. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“
No, it’s fine,” I say as
we finish stacking the last of them up. I dump them back into the
box. “How are you?”

We both stand back up and start
walking down the hall toward the parking lot.

“
Good,” she says, flashing
a winning smile. I have to respect Drake’s sister. She exudes
confidence, like nothing bad can ever stick to her. “Classes are
going well, I’ve got my professors wrapped around my little finger.
The money I put into the stock market has doubled in the last few
weeks.”

“
You’re going to be an
impressive woman once you graduate,” I say. “What’s your degree in
again?”

“
Business,” she says. Her
heels click on the tile floor, echoing off the lockers that
surround us.

I nod, swallowing hard. Lake may have
Drake’s smile, but Sage has his eyes.

“
I heard about you and
Drake, and Diana,” she says, her voice softening slightly. “It’s
not fair how things ended up.”

I stop in the hallway. We’re not far
from the doors.

“
No,” I say, feeling the
numbness start to creep in on me again. “It’s really
not.”

Sage is quiet for a long moment. I
feel her eyes on me and look at her, and we just stare at each
other for a long moment. I can practically see the words behind her
eyes.

“
People hurt you in life
sometimes,” she finally says. “They can destroy you. They can take
things away that you didn’t even know were there and they can
change who you are without your permission.” She folds her arms
over her chest and it feels like a defensive move.

“
But we have choices when
it comes to things like this. We can let them wreck our lives or we
can use them to make us stronger. You have the power to decide that
this will not hurt you anymore. You can choose to not feel it one
second longer. Use the pain and the hurt and learn a lesson from
it.”

“
It’s not that easy,” I
say, shaking my head.

“
No, it’s not,” she says,
and there’s complexity in her voice. Her strong gaze falters for a
moment. “But you’re a woman. Set your mind to it, and make it
better. Realize that men are not the only things that make life
worth living. Realize how amazing you are and make a name for
yourself, and don’t feel sorry for doing it.”

I see her teeth clench hard, the
muscles in her jaw flexing. Her hands roll into fists and for just
a moment, there is a bit of uncertainty in her eyes.

I’m about to say
thanks
, when she turns
and walks back in the direction of Drake’s classroom.

I watch her as she goes. Sage is
determined and strong and confident. There’s no doubt about
that.

But what in her past has made her say
the things she’s just did? The girl has been through what must be
more than her fair share of hurt.

Still, her advice is solid. And right
now I need someone’s thoughts and opinions that are outside of my
own.

Who am I outside of the girl that just
wants to find her true love?

CHAPTER
THIRTEEN

“
You got it?” I ask Skyler
as I help him balance the camera.

“
Yeah, I know how to work
a camera,” he says with a dramatic eye roll. I back away, hands
hovering close to the camera. It’s not particularly expensive, but
I won’t be able to replace it if he drops it.

“’
K,” I say, turning and
picking up the poster board that’s lying haphazardly on my couch. I
stand in front of the camera and hold the poster just under my
face.

“
Smile,” Skyler
says.

I do, and he snaps the
picture.

“
Let me see,” I say,
setting the poster down and reaching for the camera. Instead of
handing it over, he pushes the review button and brings up the
picture he just took.

It’s clear and easy to
read.

In big words, on the poster, I’ve
written:

My name is Kaylee Ray. I’m
trying to find my birth father. You met my mother, Karen Ray, at a
Halloween party twenty-three years ago in Burlington, WA. She was
dressed as a bumblebee, she says you were dressed as a pirate.
Please share!

I chew on my lip as I read it over
again. I saw a picture online a few weeks back, of a woman looking
for a girl she’d given up for adoption, with a similar
sign.

It’s a huge long shot. I don’t have a
name. I don’t know his hair color or where he lived, or anything at
all. With a one-night stand, whoever my birth father is, he
probably didn’t even know my mom’s name.

But Sage was right. I need something
else. I need to find out who I am without a man. I need to stop
making finding the perfect man my main goal in life. I need to be
okay with just being Kaylee Ray. And finding who made up the other
half of my genetic code seems like a good place to
start.

“
It’s like a real life
mystery,” Skyler says as I turn the camera off and pull the memory
card out. We sit at the bar where my laptop waits. I slide the card
into the slot in the side of it and copy the image from the card
into my files.

“
Yeah,” I say. “It kind of
is.”

“
Maybe your dad is someone
famous,” he says excitedly. He pushes his glasses up his nose.
They’re so dirty, I’m not sure how he can even see through them.
“And super rich. Maybe he’s the king of some crazy
country!”

“
Maybe,” I say with a
smile as I look at him. He’s so hopeful and full of dreams. It’s
sweet and heartbreaking at the same time. I want to go back to
feeling that way. But I don’t think that’s ever going to be
possible again.