Ever, Sarah (25 page)

“Sarah. I would never force you to do anything you weren’t ready for. Take your time. You’re here now. You’re safe with me. And I won’t ever let you out of my sight again.” The words were spoken softly and with such meaning, I almost wanted to get up and run to him, but I remembered another’s touch and for a very brief moment, I doubted my sanity.

Could my instincts be that off?

Could I have mixed up my feelings and desires for them both?

Who the hell knows?

All I knew at this moment was that I was tired and needed to be alone to process this new-found information.

“Is there a place I can lay down for a while? It’s been… I’m a bit overwhelmed and my brain is fried.”

“Of course. I prepared the room across the hall, next to ‘our room’. Take your time.”

“Would you mind bringing my other bag up?”

“No, of course not.”

“Thank you, Kevin.”

He nodded and walked out the door, returning a few minutes later with my bag. He opened the door across the hall and I watched as he placed my bag on the bed.

“I’ve got to go out and get some groceries. You’ll be alright here alone?”

“Yes. Of course.”

“Good. Don’t open the door for anyone. I have my key.”

“I won’t.”

I meant it.

He leaned down and kissed the top of my head.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Okay.”

He left the room and when I heard his footsteps on the stairs, I swiped the top of my head as if to wipe it away. I don’t know why I did that. I got up and went into the room where he’d placed my bag. It was a modest bedroom. Not overly large, but big enough to hold a large four poster queen sized bed, a huge armoire, two nightstands, a chair and small table in the corner and two doors. I walked to the first and found the bathroom. It was a small bathroom, but had a shower/tub combo, a sink and of course, a toilet. The small window over the toilet was covered with dark blinds. I walked inside and opened them, allowing the sun to brighten the room.

“That’s better.” I said to myself.

I walked back into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. I felt like a fool. Here I was in a strange, well strange to me, man’s house. I had fled my home, and now find myself in an even more precarious position. In the next room was ‘my’ suitcase that held nothing but undergarments, and uber sexy lingerie. Now I ask you, who the hell leaves their home with just underwear?

Clearly someone who has lost their frigging mind.

A few minutes later I heard him leave, locking the door behind him and I let out of sigh of relief. I wanted to pull my hair out of my head and scream at the top of my lungs.

Chapter Nineteen

I was happy for the small amount of privacy his leaving afforded and got up and walked back into that room. Somewhere in that big cardboard box had to be clothing. I lifted the suitcase and flipped it over emptying the contents onto the beige rug.

Slowly pushing aside each of the undergarments on the top, I revealed yet another layer of more undergarments. Thongs and panties, and bras—really sexy bras— and more stockings. The nighties I’d packed were designed for only one thing.

To inspire desire.

I got up and searched the rest of the large box that had held ‘my’ suitcase and the personal notes and cards. All I found were more pictures. Some in frames some not.

I sat back down. What the hell would possess a normal woman to leave her home with nothing but undergarments? Yet here they were, along with very personal notes and cards, obviously signed by me…Sarah. I found I had more questions than answers, which only left me feeling more uncertain.

I got up and made my way down the steps. I wanted to look around. I was hopeful that something else would trigger the sleeping Sarah to finally awaken. I opened each door, a closet for coats. A pantry. A laundry room. The bathroom I used earlier. A door to the back porch.

I peeked out the door and noticed that the yard was totally bare. No table, no personal items. He did mention that he’d just moved in so maybe he didn’t have the opportunity to really settle in yet.

I tried to open the door, to what I assumed was the basement, the one that I’d tried earlier and found it to be definitely locked. Upon further inspection, I noticed it had a strange doorknob on it. Like the type you would use on an outside door—very heavy duty—the kind that only opened with a key.

Realizing the clock was ticking until Kevin’s return, I made my way back up the stairs and opened each door looking inside. The only door I was unable to open was Kevin’s. It also had one of those strange locks the same that was on the what I assumed was the basement door. There were three other bedrooms, each piled high with boxes.

There were several that had something written on them in thick black marker and crossed out with what looked like the same black marker. I thought one of them said Mary Elizabeth, but I could be wrong. Even if it did say another woman’s name, I’m sure I’m not the only woman he’s had a relationship with. He was a very, very handsome man.

The next room sort of freaked me out. There were boxes in the corner that had the name Tanya written in marker and scribbled on top so that the name was somewhat hidden, but when you turned the box around, it said Tanya clearly on the other side. In another corner were boxes marked Julia. Those were clearly marked. None of the boxes in that corner were crossed out or written over.

What a nosey body I was. For all I knew, it was a sister or his mother. I walked over to one of ‘Julia’s’ boxes and pulled back the tape and looked inside. I reached in and was shocked to pull out several sexy undergarments from that box as well.

Suddenly, I heard a car pull up in the driveway and I quickly made my way back to the room where he’d placed my bag, ‘my room’. I quietly lay down on top of the comforter, wrapping his hoodie tightly around my body as if it could protect me. He called my name out softly when he got inside. Then I heard footsteps. Next I heard him turn a key in a lock.  He called my name softly up the stairs once more, but I didn’t answer.

The sounds of his footsteps led me to believe he was at the back of the house and could hear him placing bags on the table. At least that would be my guess. The door to the refrigerator opened and closed several times, as well as a few cupboards. He mumbled something incoherent and then I heard his footsteps as he made his way back towards the front door. It sounded like he locked it. I was listening, trying to figure out what he was doing, and then I heard his muffled footsteps on the thick carpet as he slowly climbed the stairs.

I quickly turned on my side and feigned sleep.

I knew when he walked into the bedroom where I lay, I could feel his presence behind me, but I lay as still as I could. I don’t know why I did this, but I did.

“Sarah?” He whispered.

When I didn’t answer him, he slowly pulled the door closed as he walked out. I could hear him insert a key into the door of the room next to mine. It clicked when it closed.

I listened, my eyes still closed, when I heard Kevin began to speak. I could only guess he was talking with someone on the phone. I wasn’t able to hear what he said, but he was obviously arguing with whomever he was talking to. I tried to listen but couldn’t make out what he was saying.

There were a few clicking noises, then silence. A few minutes later I heard him leave the room. The key once again clicked loudly as it turned in the lock. He paused for a few tense moments outside my door, then finally proceeded down the hall, and down the steps. 

I lay there for some time and must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes the room was cast in total darkness. I sat up and reached out trying to find a lamp. After a few fumbled attempts, I finally found one and turned it on. The room was cast in an eerie glow. I looked around trying to get my bearings, and spotted something on the end of the bed.

It was a rose.

A single red rose.

I leaned down and picked it up. All the thorns were taken off and I automatically brought it to my nose. It was a smell that I remembered. A smell I wasn’t overly fond of. It reminded me of an old woman’s perfume. I sat up and lowered my feet to the floor.

I heard that clicking noise again and turned to look in the direction of the sound. I thought it sounded like it came from the armoire. Higher. Like maybe on top of it.

I started walking over towards it when I heard the door open.

“There you are.” Kevin said.

I spun around quickly, the single rose in my hand. Feeling like I was caught, I felt the flush rise to my face.

“Hi. I, um, must have fallen asleep.”

“I see you got the flower I left you.”

“Yes, um, thank you. It’s really pretty.” I held it to my nose and inhaled again.

“Yeah, you were really tired. I’ve made us some dinner. Come downstairs. You need to eat.”

“I thought I heard a noise over here.” I pointed to the corner.

“Probably the TV on the other side of the wall. That’s our…my room.”

“Didn’t you say you just moved in?” I was uncertain what he’d said myself.

“I did. A few months ago. But it’s the same…it’s the same bed, um, as we…” There was a glint in his eyes and it struck me that it was almost like he was enjoying making me feel uncomfortable and awkward.

I grabbed the sweatshirt closer to my frame.

“Cold?”

“No, I’m fine, just a chill. It’s gone now.” It felt to me like something wasn’t right, but I wasn’t sure.

Attributing my discomfort to my feeling out of place pretty much everywhere I went, I shook it off and smiled. Kevin took a step back and the warmth returned to his eyes.

In any case, I was hungry. “What did you make? It smells delicious.”

“Your fav…”

“If you are going to tell me something is my favorite, I’m going to scream.” I interrupted and said playfully, with a hint of truthfulness.

“Okay. I won’t say it. Let’s just say, it’s one of
my
favorite meals to make. That’s okay to say, right?” His charm and smile put me at ease again.

“Yes.  That’s fine.” I said hesitantly and I stood staring at him like a complete idiot, “Well then, let’s go eat one of
your
favorite meals to make.”

He laughed and stepped into the hallway waiting for me to exit the room. He followed close behind me as I made my way down the stairs. As I turned and walked towards the kitchen, I noticed the table in the dining room was set beautifully, and there was a large crock in the center flanked by two long tapered candles. The entire house smelled divine. The aromas of butter and garlic, celery, and…something I couldn’t quite make out filled the room and I began to salivate.

“What is
your
favorite meal to make?”

“Coq Au Vin.” His voice so matter-of-fact, I didn’t even pick up the coincidence right away. This was the meal that Brad told me is my favorite to make.

Coincidence?

I don’t know, but I was starving and it was calling my name.

“Yum!” I said out loud.

After dinner we both cleaned up the kitchen. I rinsed and placed the dishes in the dishwasher, as Kevin cleared the table. I noticed this too looked brand new and never used. Afterwards we walked into the living room, and I stood near the end of the couch not sure where I should sit. Kevin placed a DVD into the player and sat on the couch, leaving a little distance between us. I thought I noticed a somewhat patronizing look on his face, but it was fleeting and I wasn’t sure what I’d seen.

I sat down where I stood and had to admit, I was more than relieved he wasn’t crowding me. Until I felt more confident that this is where I belonged, I was planning on keeping my distance. I sighed and a look of sadness flitted over his features briefly, but then he settled in where he sat and we watched Pretty Woman. I had to admit, I enjoyed the movie immensely. I noted that during several of the scenes, I had a feeling I’d seen it before.

Kevin just stared at me and smiled.

“I didn’t say a word.” He declared.

“Yeah, I know that, but your eyes tell a different story.” I laughed.

“Upstairs with you. We have a busy day tomorrow.”

“We do?” I was shocked.

“Yes, the zoo in Central Park. One of your favorite places.”

“Damn my favorites. What good is having favorites if you can’t remember them?”

“You will. You just need to be patient. Just give it time; you’ve gone through a lot in the past several weeks.”

He walked me up and kissed me on the cheek. “Night sweetheart. See you in the morning.”

“Night and thank you for the wonderful meal, it was delicious. Coq Au Vin, mmm.”

Maybe I was wrong to feel so strange. I mean everything is strange to me at this point, isn’t it.

Kevin, so far, has been the perfect gentleman. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, but he didn’t push it further, and after a look at what was in that suitcase and the things that I wrote, I was a bit amazed at his control.