Everlost (32 page)

“But Colin,” Ash said, nervous. “You can’t go back there, and what about what your dad did to you…?”

“I’ll be fine. Go ahead. I—I’ll distract them.”

Fin shrugged and took over, taking the weapons and pulling Ash with him. “Let him go,” he said.

Together they disappeared over the ridge.

38

: : :

Instincts

At a wail, Tatiana’s eyes popped opened and a weird tingle passed over her breasts. Without a thought, she jumped out of bed and ran to the cradle, scooping up the child.

“There, there, baby,” she said, rocking him. “I’m here. Don’t cry.”

She looked around for Pearleza, whom she had more affectionately nicknamed Pearl. Where was she?

“What’s that racket?” Coralade peeked her head out of the servant’s quarters.

“The baby—I need Pearl.”

“He’s hungry, feed him,” Coralade grumbled.

“I know, but I just need help!” At her yelling, the baby wailed louder.

Coralade groaned and threw on her robe. She banged on the locked door and once Chauncey answered, she marched forward without a word.

Desperate, Tatiana offered her finger, which the boy accepted, sucking hard, but that only lasted a second. He let out another frustrated cry. Her breasts ached with each howl and she was confused why, until two wet circles soaked the front of her nightgown. Did she have milk already?

With shaking arms, she sat on the nearby chair and hitched up her gown. Holding the baby’s mouth to her bare breast, she was unsure what to do. Rooting around with his nose, the babe nuzzled against her, and clamped onto her.

She yelped, feeling a pinch and an ache, then held her breath, watching the merling suck in deep gulps. Pearl had made this all look so easy, relaxing even. She winced, imagining he’d take her nipple right off.
How long does this last?
The merling, though, breathed between swallows, completely content. She remained tensed, her arms aching, as she waited for him to release when the door opened.

Tatiana snapped her head up. “Pearl?”

“No,” Azor said, “it’s me. I came as soon—”

He stopped and gaped, blinking at her, at the merling.

Tatiana pushed the gown over her bare legs, hiding herself from his curious gaze.

“How are you—?” he started, then stopped.

She didn’t want to tell him she’d taken Pearl’s secret herbs. She wanted him to need her, to think her valuable in this twisted situation until she figured out a solution. He had to trust her.

“My body must have thought I really was pregnant,” she said softly.

He moved closer, caressing her lovingly with his eyes. A few days ago she would have killed for him to look at her that way, but now… a shiver crossed her skin. Why was he watching her like that? He held out a small bladder to her, dazed.

“Pearleza gave me this earlier… but it appears you have things handled.”

“Guess so.” She gazed down at the baby, who pulled away from her and drifted off to sleep. A mustache of milk covered his sweet lips. Quickly, she pulled down her gown to hide herself from Azor’s roving eyes.

“I’ll say,” he mumbled. A look covered his face,—joy? She couldn’t be sure.

“Where’s Xirene? I thought she’d be here by now.”

“Oh, she’s…” Azor’s eyes glazed over for a beat. “Recovering. She’ll take over after the coronation, tomorrow.”

At the words, Tatiana’s heart sunk. Reality. The brief bubble of bliss the merling gave popped. Things were about to get complicated and very ugly. Uglier than they’d already been. She had to remember the merling wasn’t hers. “And Jacob? Will he be joining me as well?”

Azor stiffened, his face stern. Tatiana would have guessed he was jealous if she didn’t know better. “Afterward, yes.”

She bit her lip, gauging whether or not he told the truth. She’d cooperated, and then some, going so far as to nurse the child. But then everything rushed in. Queen Desiree’s grief, the King lying impaled on the bed. She didn’t believe Azor when he’d said the King committed suicide, not after what Desiree said about past princes. He’d murdered his father for the crown, and he could do the same to her and take the baby.

Instinctively, she pulled the babe close to her body. “I think you should go.”

He furrowed his brow, hurt almost. “Yes. Tomorrow is a big day, my Queen. Rest.” He waffled in which direction to move, either to her side or the door. He stooped over her, petting the boy’s hair. But he wasn’t looking at the merling. He stared at Tatiana’s lips. “I want you to look your best for the coronation, Lovel—” He stopped himself, then stepped away. “Good night, Tatiana.”

Only after she heard the door lock did she exhale a relieved breath.

: : :

The morning came with a bustle of activity: hair, makeup, and nails for the big event. Tatiana tried to remain composed, twisting her hands and pressing against her flat stomach as each second ticked on. Azor, a ticking time bomb, would get his final wish—the throne. She’d hoped he wouldn’t do anything rash in front of his people, but then with his past behavior, she wasn’t sure. What more would he want from her afterward? She ached at the thought of leaving the merling forever. She’d bonded with him. She’d miss him.

“You’ve recovered so quickly, Princess,” one of the mer matrons said, breaking her spiraling thoughts. “And to have a human birth, I’m impressed.”

Tatiana smiled appreciatively.

“We are lucky having mer blood,” another said. “I’ve heard human women carry their young for practically a year, then afterward, they’re riddled with stretch marks and fat. Can you believe it?”

“If I had to carry my thirteen around for thirteen years, I’d tell Gunderon to keep his clasper far away from me. Oye vey!” Mama Ondia, the eldest of the mer matrons in the colony, said with a chuckle.

Tatiana laughed, too. She’d never known a human who’d given birth, but the length of gestation sounded dreadful. Weeks of pregnancy she could handle, but the lack of sleep? Just being awakened once during the night was difficult enough, not to mention her nipples felt rubbed raw with sandpaper and her boobs so full, like they were about to explode. But everything seemed worth it for the sweet nameless boy.

Pearl sat close, cooing at the merling wrapped in her arms.

“What’s his name?” Mama Ondia asked, admiring on.

Pearl startled, jostling the babe awake. In response to his cry, Tatiana’s breasts began to leak, soiling her robe.

“Oh, um.” Tatiana bit her lip, taking him from Pearl’s hands. “Azor—we haven’t chosen yet, but I do like Landon.”

“Hmmm,” Mama said, “that’s different. Sounds human.”

“Oh, really? I’m not sure,” she chucked nervously. “I’d like a moment to feed the baby, though,” Tatiana said to the women. They all cleared, but Pearl. “Its okay, Pearl. I’ve got this.”

Pearl’s hands kneaded together, worry taut on her face.

“I promise.” Tatiana laughed. “I did it last night perfectly fine.”

“Okay,” she said with a quick bow. “I’ll be back.”

Alone, Tatiana blew out a trapped breath and bit her lip, sucking air through her teeth once Landon latched on. Things felt a little easier this time. Then reality hit. She had no control over his name, his life, or anything. What was she doing still pretending? Landon belonged to Xirene. She needed to find Jacob and the others, and escape from Natatoria. She bit her lip. Could she do it now? Was Chauncey even guarding her door?

She glanced at the babe again and her heart softened. She cared for him too much to just leave.

“Landon, I promise to figure out a way around this.”

The baby smiled up at her, blinking his long dark lashes.

“Tatiana?” The door opened a crack.

“I’d like to be alone—”

“It’s me,” Lily, Badger’s niece, whispered. She rushed inside and closed the door. “I need to talk to you.”

Tatiana blinked at her
almost
sister-in-mer’s form. A small bump protruded at her bellybutton. “Are you pregnant?”

Lily yanked her head backward, eyes zeroing in on Landon. “You’re one to judge.” Lily flashed her tattooed finger. “Yes, I am. After Fin
left me
at the alter, Kiernan asked for my hand. And we were promised before we
did it,
if you’re wondering.”

Tatiana sucked in her gasp, as small snippets of the promising ceremony came to mind. Hardly lucid, she barely recalled what they’d talked about when she’d gotten ready with Lily, or hardly anything.

Lily’s glare turned frosty. “What I don’t get is if you hated Prince Azor so much, why would you bed him before your ceremony?”

Tatiana did a double take. “What?”

Lily laughed cynically. “You had us all fooled.”

Tatiana peered down at the child, wanting to protect him. No one had made any snide remarks about his sudden appearance as of yet. Was the gossip mill talking? Would they think him illegitimate his whole life?

“—and now Jacob? What do you think you’re doing?”

Jacob.
What was she insinuating and how did she know anything about him?

“Now wait a minute.” Tatiana’s shoulders straightened. “Look who’s judging whom—”

“I don’t know what twisted line you’ve got these mermen dangling on, but people are in danger. You need to pick the side loyal to your father—to Jack.”

“I am loyal to my father,” she defended.

Lily closed her eyes, her face marred with anger. “Well, you could have fooled me. Uncle Badger and the others have been stuck in pillories all week awaiting today’s sentencing while you’re here…”—she waved her hand around the room, finishing at Tatiana’s perfectly coiffed hair—“playing dress-up. You cannot let Azor do what I think he’s going to do.”

Tatiana’s mouth gaped. “Pillories? He said he was going to pardon them.”

A caustic laugh escaped from her lips. “And you believe him? I thought you were smarter than that. But after seeing this—” She gestured to the child. “Does Jacob even know? Did you tell him?”

Tatiana bit her tongue. What had the others been saying about her and Jacob for Lily to come at her like this? Did they think she kissed him? Tatiana pressed her eyelids shut. Even though Lily had gotten her facts wrong, too many lives were at stake at this point, including Landon’s, for her to confess the truth. “I’m not stringing anyone along, and I have it under control.”

Lily raised a brow, then just laughed, shaking her head. “Control? Right.”

“Is Jacob with Badger?” Tatiana asked.

Lily looked away, disgusted. “No. I don’t know where he is. Rumor has it they’ve locked up the rebel mer matrons in the dungeon and confiscated all the ink, so they can’t come in a sirening mob and rescue the men. People are terrified and hungry, and there’s no end to the Dradux torture.” She looked away, as if ashamed of Tatiana’s ignorance.

Tatiana lifted her chin, her chest constricting. “Thank you for telling me. I'll do my best.”

Her eyes fell into slits. “Your best?” She huffed and slammed her hands to her sides. “Then why are you still sitting here? You clearly don’t care you’re promised to the enemy.” With a quivering lip, she said, “I can’t believe you’re cowering under Azor’s tyranny. I had faith in you.”

With tears falling down her cheeks, she ran from the room.

“No, Lily. You don’t understand.”

She brushed past Pearl as she opened the door.

“What was that about?” Pearl asked, confused. “Wait, miss. You dropped something.”

Pearl disappeared after Lily. Tatiana clutched the baby, trying to withhold her tears when something wet sopped her hand. The liquid came from Landon’s bum.

She tsked, never having changed his diaper before. Taking Landon to the table, she unswaddled him and looked for a new diaper. But once she uncovered him, she discovered Landon wasn’t a boy at all. He was a girl.

“Mother of pearl,” she said, breathlessly.

39

: : :

Ruby Slippers

Ash wriggled her toes and stared at an oil painting of a ship, the
Sea Queen
, hanging on the wall over a fake fireplace
.
Underneath on a mantle stood a golden trophy and a spyglass, all human things. Pipe smoke lingered in the air along with garlic.
Garlic?
Being fish, the whole concept of air-filled homes stumped her. Why did they act so human? Her eyes darted once again to the bloodied sheets on the couch. She tried not to think about who’d lain there not so long ago.

“What’s going on, Jax?” Fin yelled. “It’s like a ghost town. There’s no song! Hardly any sunlight! And who were those freaks that just jumped us?”

Jax had his back turned to Fin as he rummaged in the closet, pulling out black robes and broken oars. “There’s got to be some face paint in here somewhere.”

“Are you kidding me?” he barked, slamming the flat end of the scythe against the brick floor. “How are you and I going to fight those
things
?”

Galadriel pulled Ash aside. “Where’d Colin go?”

Ash frowned. “He stayed behind.”

“Really?” She blew out a breath. “And Ferd?”

Ash shrugged. “Don’t know.”

“Gah,” she grumbled. “This is crazy. Stop, Jax. Even if we do find something, it’s useless. What are the four of us going to do?” She threw down the wet Dradux cloaks.

“I won’t leave without Tatch. Colin said the rebels were all in the square. We just need to sneak up, pretend to be the guards and set them free,” Fin said. “Badger should be there. He’ll know what to do.”

The scene in the Wizard of Oz where the Lion, the Tin Man, and the Scarecrow snuck into the castle dressed as guards to free Dorothy came to Ash’s mind. She’d crossed into the Emerald City, with strange new creatures, both scary and exotic. But what was next in this crazy world? Flying monkeys? Should she click her heels and wish for home?

“Where do you think Tatiana is?” Ash asked.

“Probably the palace.” Galadriel put hands on her hips, her eyes zipping around the room as if looking for answers.

The deep vibration of a horn penetrated the sea; everyone’s spines stiffened.

“What was that?” Ash looked to Galadriel.