Every Breath You Take (33 page)

While I said to “some degree” I bore responsibility for the flaccid state of our matrimony, to the other degree it was Jillian who had tipped me into my malaise. It’s the sour tune put-upon husbands have been wailing since the dawn of time. You try to help, to take the load off your wife, do your part. That is, until she figures out you’re all thumbs and shames you into not even trying anymore, since you’ll just screw it up anyway. She reduces you to being a yes-man and all you’re left with is a befuddled wonderment as to how you got here. Retreat and surrender are easier than battle.

Indeed, I had long ago given up warring with Jillian. I never won.

Divorce was never a topic of conversation. At heart, we were both too lazy, too bound by decorum and tradition to go through with the formalities or intricacies such an act would entail. It seemed easier, simpler to maintain the status quo.

What is it that people interviewed for those true crime shows always say when one spouse kills the other—divorce is always an option?

In hindsight, had one of us taken that particular fork in the road . . . well, this story would have a much different ending.

BIANCA SLOANE
is the author of the suspense novels
Killing Me Softly
(previously published as
Live and Let Die
), chosen as “Thriller of the Month” (May 2013) by e-thriller.com and a “2013 Top Read” by OOSA Online Book Club, and
Sweet Little Lies
. When she’s not writing, she’s watching Bravo TV or Investigation Discovery, reading, or cooking. Sloane resides in Chicago.

For playlists, reading guides and to sign up for her author newsletter, visit her website at
www.biancasloane.com
.