Every Breath You Take (29 page)

It was all so clear now what needed to be done.

She’d been so colossally stupid. She’d been going about this all wrong. How could she have let him outmatch her like this? For this long?

She was finally going to free herself from the insane asylum.

She snuck another glance at him . . . smiling . . . laughing.

Happy.

She shook her head a little, her own laugh escaping her lips.

“Nat? What’s so funny?”

She shut her mouth and looked at him. “Huh? What?”

He rubbed her shoulder. “You were laughing, and I was just wondering what was so funny.”

She shrugged and turned back to look at the movie. “Oh, nothing. Just, ah . . . that was funny—Tony imitating Maria’s father.”

“Huh. Yeah, I guess that was funny.”

Natalie snuck another glance at Joey, almost feeling sorry for him.

Almost.

Because that bastard had no idea what was about to hit him.

S
he heaved a few times, squeezing her eyes shut to make the tears come. She kept quivering and crying, finally tossing in bed a few times for greater effect.

He should come strolling in any minute.

The door beeped and she heard the plastic plate and cutlery slide across the tray. She whimpered and turned over to face him, pleased at the droplets of tears streaming down her face.

“Nat,” he frowned, quickly setting the tray on the vanity. “What’s wrong? What’s the matter?”

“I had a terrible dream, Joey.”

She tried not to flinch as he rubbed her back. “Tell me about it.”

“Joey,” she whispered. “I dreamt the police found us. That they broke down the door and took me away from you.”

“What?” he scoffed. “Why would you think something like that?”

“You hear about it all the time. When people don’t understand . . . love like ours. It could happen, Joey. They could come in here and get it all wrong and think I don’t want to be here and then . . . what about our baby? I can’t let our baby grow up without his father.”

“Nat, baby, ain’t nothing like that gonna happen. You’re just . . . your mind is playing tricks on you, that’s all.”

She dropped her face into her hands. “I’m scared, Joey. We can’t let that happen. We can’t. We have our baby to think about.”

“Trust me, honey. Nothing like that will ever happen. This will always be our home. No one will ever come in here and change that.”

“Promise?”

He took her face in his hands. “Have I ever broken a promise to you?”

“No,” she smiled. “You’re so good to me.” She allowed herself to slump back into his arms, smiling to herself. “I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”

“J
oey, I was thinking . . . maybe we shouldn’t wait until the baby’s born. Maybe we should get married now.”

“Seriously?”

She picked up the crumbly chunk of bitter cranberry muffin and nibbled on it, having convinced him to let her feed herself at the dining room table. “Well, it would make the baby legitimate.”

“Hmmm . . . that’s something to think about.”

“You don’t want an illegitimate baby, do you?”

He slurped down the last of his protein shake. “Sure don’t.”

“Me neither. So we can remedy that.”

“Sounds like you’re finally thinking straight,” he said.

Natalie rubbed the table with the pads of her fingers. “I just want what’s best for the baby . . . for us. Because I . . . love you, Joey. So much.”

He put his plastic cup down, his eyes shining with tears. “Tell me how much.”

“Oh, gosh, Joey, you know how much I love you. How long I’ve loved you. I’ve loved you since that dance, that eighth grade dance. Remember? You bought me the corsage from Finley’s Flowers?”

He choked on his tears and, she thought, his happiness. He ran over and swooped her into his arms, squeezing her so hard she felt her ribs begin to collapse against her. She gently pushed him away, smiling.

“We should start making preparations now. I mean, because we don’t have a lot of time, do we? Because the baby will be here soon.”

“That’s true.”

Natalie reached over and rubbed his forearm, clenching inside with each stroke, each bristle of his hair that brushed against her fingertips. “Maybe, you could bring me a bridal magazine, so I could come up with some ideas for our ceremony. When we marry ourselves. Like Tony and Maria.”

The waterworks started. The sniveling commenced. He dropped to his knees, clasping her hands in his while trying to wipe his nose in the crook of an elbow.

“Nat, you just . . . you’ve made me the happiest man in the world. I mean—gah! I knew it. I knew if I just got you away from all that other stuff, you’d see things the way they’re supposed to be.” He planted a long, juicy kiss on her cheek. She wrestled with breakfast to stay put as she smiled and patted him on the arm. “You’ve made my dreams come true.”

H
e watched her flip the pages of the bridal magazine she asked him to bring her, the turn of the glossy paper ripping the quiet between them.

She looked up and smiled at him, and his heart burst. How had he gotten so lucky to have her not once, but twice?

“Something wrong, Joey?”

“I’m just thinking about how much I love you. How I can’t wait for you to be my wife.”

“Hmm . . . me too, Joey. So excited.”

He let his eyes linger on her for a moment before glancing back down at the lists of details she’d put him in charge of for the wedding. He tapped his blue felt pen against one of the items near the top. “I know you like roses, but what do you want in your bouquet?”

She paused mid–page flip. “Do I have to choose? Couldn’t I just have a bridal bouquet full of red roses? I mean, you know they stand for love, after all.

He tilted his head to the side, feeling his face melt. “Baby, I can’t tell you how much that means to me.”

“I hope you do know, Joey. What you mean to me.”

“Tell me.”

“You’re my knight in shining armor. My Tony.”

“All those years I was locked up in that hospital, longing . . . aching for you, I thought I really
would
go crazy. And all that time I was watching you and waiting to take my chance. You know I wasn’t ever crazy, right?”

“Oh, Joey. You were misunderstood. I know that. I just couldn’t appreciate the lengths you were willing to go to for me. And that’s all you were doing . . . back then. And now. Showing me how far you would go to make me understand how much you loved me.”

He let the pad of paper drop to the table and threw his hands up in the air. “Oh my God, yes, yes, yes!” he half-screamed, half-laughed. “That’s exactly what I was doing—showing you what you meant to me. That’s why I had to get that Dennis dude out of the way, then that other bastard. I had to make you understand—”

“And I do,” she cut him off. “I do. Which is why I want to join my life with yours.”

Joey grabbed her face and kissed her. His tongue had a mind of its own, worming its way across hers, exploring every nook, every cranny. His. All his. He leaned back and smiled at her.

“I can’t wait to start making love to you again, on our honeymoon, which’ll have to wait until the baby’s born. Girl, you don’t
even
know what I’ve been going through, not being able to make love to you all these months. I guess it’ll make it all the sweeter, though, when the time comes. Waiting, I mean.”

She frowned. “Honeymoon?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, since we’ll be married, we’ll have a honeymoon. It’s what comes after the wedding,” he laughed.

“Right. Honeymoon.”

Panic stabbed at his heart. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Oh. Nothing.” She waved her hand. “I’m just so happy, that’s all. Happy that we’ll be together for all of eternity. Like
Romeo and Juliet
. Right?”

His shoulders wilted in relief. Nothing had changed. She was still his Nat. Always. Forever. “That’s right. Star-crossed lovers.”

“Yes,” she stroked his arm. “Lovers united, even in death.”

S
he tossed and turned, waiting for him. She heard the door beep and kept right on twisting herself in the sheets.

“No. No, please, please don’t take me away. Please!”

She felt his hands slip around her shoulders and shake her. “Nat. Nat, baby, wake up. You were having another nightmare.”

Natalie snapped her eyes open and looked at Joey for a moment like she was confused. “Oh my God,” she whispered.

“Talk to me. Tell me what happened.”

“Joey,” she gripped his arm, her voice a shrill whisper. “I know what we have to do.”

“What do you mean? Do about what?”

“I know how we stay together. Forever.”

“Huh?”

“Paradise is on the other side, Joey.”

“Nat, baby, you’re not making any sense.”

“
Romeo and Juliet
.”

“
Romeo and Juliet
? What are you talking about, Nat?”

Natalie licked her lips, leaning closer to him. “Well, you and I are like Maria and Tony or Romeo and Juliet . . . star-crossed lovers.”

“Well, yeah, I know that—”

“Come on, Joey.
Come on
. We can’t stay here. They’ll come in here and it’ll be over. No more happy family. No more you and me. Gone. All gone.”

“Nat, you’re scaring me.”

She gripped his arm, tighter. With more urgency. “Joey. There’s only one way we can be together forever.”

She could see his frustration seeping out, the war brewing inside his eyes as he struggled to realize whatever it was she wanted him to grasp. She pursed her lips. “The only way we can really,
really
be together forever . . . is if we go to the other side. Together.”

He shrank back and Natalie could hear his wheels clicking and grinding, could feel her words seeping into him. She kept her face soft and sympathetic. Slightly pleading. Masking her determination.

“Nat, nobody’s coming in here, I told you.”

“People say that all the time and that’s exactly what happens. We can’t take that chance.”

“But, but, what about our home? Our beautiful home? Our life together?”

“Joey,” she said, clicking her tongue against her teeth. “What are . . .
material things
compared to an eternity of pure, true love? And that’s what we have Joey—a perfect, pure, true love. That kind of love can’t thrive in this, this . . .
broken
world. Why would we choose that over being with your soul mate for all eternity? We don’t need all this stuff. What good is it going to do us in the afterlife? In paradise?”

She watched his jaw clench and unclench before he narrowed his eyes at her. “What about the baby. My son?”

Natalie took a deep breath and sent a silent apology to her baby. “Joey, he’ll be with us. His parents. The only thing I want is for the three of us to be a family.”

Joey’s shoulders drooped and he let his forehead brush against hers. He was buying it. He was swallowing this bullshit she was shoveling down his throat. She allowed a smile to creep across her face for a moment before pulling back to look deep into his eyes, waiting.

“That’s all I want, too, Nat, I swear it.”

“So then let’s do it.”

“I don’t know. I gotta think about this.”

She let her bottom lip quiver. “But I thought you loved me. I thought you’d do anything for me.”

“I would, I would, you know I would, it’s just that—”

“What?”

“I mean I was always taught suicide was a sin—”

“Joey . . .
suicide
? Is that what you think this is? Oh, no, no, no. I can’t believe you’d even. . . It’s not . . .
that
.” Natalie leaned closer and dropped her voice to a whisper. “This is planning our future.”

He screwed up his face and started pacing, his face twisted in agitation. “Nat, this ain’t—this
isn’t
at all like I saw things.”

Natalie pursed her lips and took a deep breath, thinking back to when she convinced him that her going away to Rhode Island was a good idea. She’d shown him pictures of the New England foliage, read him excerpts from the travel books she’d checked out from the library. She’d been sweet, patient. Firm. It had taken her months to win him over. She didn’t have those kinds of resources. She didn’t have that kind of time.

She had to go for broke.

Natalie burst into tears.

“I don’t want to stay here, Joey,” she sobbed. “I just want us to be together, forever, and this is the only way I know how—”

“Oh, Nat, please, please stop crying, please—”

“You’d really do this? You’d really hurt me like this?”

“No, no,” Joey shook his head, his own tears tumbling from his eyes. “How could you say that?”

Natalie flung herself away from him and onto the bed, her shoulders heaving. She really was crying—from the fear and exhaustion and the pervasive sadness she lived with every day—if she could use those tears to help her now, she’d do it.

“Please don’t cry, Nat. Please.”

Natalie responded by crying louder and pulling away from his attempts to comfort her. She heard him sigh and rise slowly from the bed. The door beeped announcing his departure, which unleashed a fresh round of frustrated tears.

“N
at? Nat, you awake?”

Natalie jumped when she saw Joey crouched on the bed next to her. He couldn’t be in here to start raping her again.

“What is it, Joey?” she asked, hoping her voice wasn’t shaking.

“I’d do anything for you. You know that, right?” he whispered.

“Yes,” she said slowly.

He grabbed her hand. “I’ll do it,” he whispered. “I’ll do it. For you. For us.” He swallowed her into a hug.

“Oh, Joey,” she murmured, relieved. “Thank you.”

“It’s like you said . . . we’re soul mates. And everyone should be so lucky to find their soul mate.”

A smiling Jason flashed across Natalie’s mind. Her eyes welled with tears. “Yes. They should.”

“I’m so excited. I mean, this is really the first chapter, isn’t it? Really and truly?”

“Oh, yes, Joey. Really and truly.”