Every Last Kiss, Final Copy, June 30, 2011 (30 page)

An advantage to my attack I hadn't anticipated was that his breathing was now audible to me. My next punch was a thing of beauty, connecting solidly with his jaw. I wasn't using full power either, but it had to have hurt him at least half as much as it killed my hand.

"Shep, your head feels like it's filled with rocks."

"You know, I've heard that from every woman in my life."

By now I was really in the moment. There's just no other excuse for the stupidity of my next idea. I ran towards Shep, jumping while still a few feet from him, planning to plant a foot in his chest and execute a neat back flip and while he was still awed by my finesse, I'd land a killing blow. If life were an action movie I would have been able to execute it flawlessly- probably in Matrix style slow motion. Real life rarely comes with slow-mo though and so this is how it really happened:

I ran at him and leaped, all according to plan. When I planted my foot in his chest, however, he grabbed it and gave it a vicious little twist. I landed face down in the dirt and breathing was suddenly a skill that needed relearning in a hurry.The only blessing was that the hilarity of the crowd watching us was somewhat muffled by my gasping.

Shep gave me a hand up and pulled off my blindfold. I still couldn't take a full breath so he waited patiently while I stood there, squinty eyed and wheezing.

Finally he said, "You shouldn't showboat. You could have finished me, I was hurting and you had the edge."

"You- are a-
really
- bad winner."

The friendly backrub eased my wounded pride a little. As he worked the knots from my tense shoulders I took a moment to check out the people who'd just watched my humiliating defeat. I could only hope that there weren't any cute boys around to witness my literal fall from grace. Lucky for me, it seemed that the only people at the Sunnydale Motor Court on a weekday afternoon in the fall were all either elderly or families with young children. So unless I was willing to date a man who needed regular diaper changes, I didn't have to worry about having blown my chances with the potential love of my life.

"Come on, I think Ramona wanted to leave as soon as we were done here. You know how she is about having plenty of time to check into a hotel before a book signing. If she doesn't have enough time to get beautiful she'll cancel the signing and then her publicist is going to give her sh- crap."

"And crap rolls downhill. I get it." I gave Shep an affectionate punch in the arm and started back to the RV without argument. I wanted to grab a quick shower at the facilities here before we hit the road and I knew he wasn't kidding about my grandmother's desire to greet her public looking fantastic.

Every life hinges on a series of days that change everything. The thing about days like that is that you never see them coming. Looking back, that shower marked the last time that everything in my life was normal. If I knew then what was in store for me, I think I might have just kept walking past the showers and down the road. I guess that's why change takes you by surprise. I doubt anyone would seek out life altering transformations willingly.

But I didn't know and so it was with visions of cute boys and clean hair dancing in my head that I went from my old life and headlong into the insanity.