Every Which Way (Sloan Brothers) (19 page)

Now wasn’t the best time for a kiss like this. Severine stopped caring the minute his hands lifted her sweater up and spanned her waist. The contact made Severine grab his face and move her tongue into his mouth hurriedly.

Macsen choked out a laugh and slightly pulled back. His green eyes focused on her face, and Severine let out a gasp as his hands crept towards the edge of her bra. For nine in the morning, it could easily become the hottest kiss.

“Hi,” Macsen pronounced leisurely. His fingers drifted across the lace of her bra. When it seemed like he was going to touch her further, he went back to teases.

“Did you really want to get coffee?”

“That was the intention.” He pulled his hands away. They left a lingering touch on Severine’s skin.

Severine pulled her sweater down and turned to buckle up. She needed that kiss. It was an affirmation that everything she was arranging in life should have Macsen included.

His hand reached across the seat and fastened their hands together. “So, did you have a good time last night?”

It was impossible to tell if his question was innocent. Severine answered anyway, “Yeah, it was great. I danced with Chris till my blisters had blisters.”

“That’s what he told me.”

What else did he tell you?
Severine nodded and scanned through his iPod. All the titles were unrecognizable to her. She pressed play anyway. The song wasn’t half bad. It filled the silence building in between the two of them. “Chris was an idiot,” Severine replied casually.

“So, no dancing with Thayer?”

Severine frowned over at him. “No, he was with some girl.”

“If Vanessa wasn’t there, would you have, though?”

Her grip on his hand tightened. “No.”

Have you known her long?
How do you know her name?

As he turned into the parking lot of the coffee shop, those questions demanded her full attention. She’d never get the answers because those questions weren’t hers to ask.

The truck idled and then became silent. Macsen stared straight ahead. Severine shifted her eyes around, trying to figure out what was going on between them. It could be something small, something so insignificant that you’d never look twice at the issue, but for Severine and Macsen, it was an ugly mess.

“What are you mad about?”

Macsen swung his head in her direction. All his insecurities were exposed and laid out in front of them for her to see. It was dirty; an expression Severine never wanted to see on his face again. “Am I everything you want?”

Her eyebrows rose, and she instantly responded, “Of course.”

Disappointment showed in his eyes. She’d answered too quickly. “Answer me honestly. Not with the first thing that comes to your mind.”

“What do you want me to say? I gave you the truth. You’re making this a harder question than it needs to be.”

“Am I?”

Her patience was wearing thin, along with her guilt. All her fears about who she might be were so close to cutting through the facade she had worked so hard to create.

“Yes!” She shouted out.

“Are you sure that Thayer did nothing?”

“I think you’re freaking yourself out.” Severine faced the door handle. Macsen locked it.

“Don’t,” his demand came out gently. Even when he tried to be firm, he was kind. Severine would, sooner than later, run over him.

“Don’t be an ass,” Severine paused and glanced at his tense body. “Where is this even coming from? Why are you freaking out over nothing?”

Macsen’s anger blasted out of him, and he punched his steering wheel. It was only a smash. It was enough. “My brother worries me!” His breath came out harshly. “I catch every look he gives you. He went last night because of you.”

“Is this about last night? You could’ve come! I wanted you to come!” Severine shouted out. If Macsen wanted anger, she could give him just that. “I can’t control what he does!”

“I think you control more of him than you’ll ever fucking know!” Macsen shot back.

Severine didn’t need to hear that. Her hands wanted to reach up and cover her ears. There were no take backs. It would all replay later when she was alone. “I’m not doing this with you. You can stay bitter about this. But I’m leaving in a few days for break. I’ll leave whether you’re over it or not.”

When she glanced at those chartreuse eyes, the ones she always loved, they looked crushed. “You’d leave knowing that you could potentially be the fire in my life? The same fire Thayer needs—even though he has no fucking right to it?”

“No,” Severine grounded out. “I’m leaving with it on my shoulders. I ignited it all.”

He unlocked the doors, and Severine practically clawed her way out. She was leaving early for break. There was no way she was staying on campus any longer than necessary. Her mind needed clarity from everything that belonged to the word Sloan.

Chapter Nineteen

“Are you sure you want to leave so early?”

“Yes.” Severine slammed her trunk louder than necessary. “You don’t have to leave campus if you don’t want to.”

Lily shrugged and tossed a duffel bag into the backseat. “Nah. I kinda miss my siblings.”

“Kinda?”

“Give it a few days, and then I’ll be begging for you or Ben to come pick me up.”

Severine stretched out her legs and started up her car. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Don’t you want to say good-bye to anybody important?” Lily asked.

“Nope. Macsen and I already talked this morning.”

That was a lie. But Severine wasn’t going to tell Lily the truth. After coffee yesterday, Severine decided to pack up earlier than planned. Her exams were done. Lily was finished. Why stay and do nothing when they could hit the road?

Severine was ready to escape.

*    *    *    *    *

Blue Mound,
Illinois
was just the same. Nothing about her small hometown had changed. Most of the time, that was a bad thing—it was the reason she had applied to schools out of state. But as she drove down the main street, she realized it was the security she wanted the most right now.

Her back ached, and she needed to pee about four hours worth of chugging on a Big Gulp. Behind her a CASEY’S sign flashed, but she wanted to be home. She wasn’t getting out of this car until her mom’s driveway came into view.

Her heart tugged with relief as she parked in front of her childhood home. Her mom stood tall on the porch and waved wildly like a happy person...like a mom who had missed her child.

Would Macsen be missing her?

She wasn’t going to waste any energy on him. They were better off with a few days of no communication.

“You’re waving like you’re happy to see me!” Severine shouted out as she leaned against her car door.

Dressed in a sweatshirt and jeans, Clacy walked down the pathway. Her thick, dark brown hair fell down to her shoulders. With the sun shining brightly, she shielded her eyes with her hand and squinted at Severine. “It’s been a while, kiddo.”

“I know,” Severine grunted out.
God, did she know
. She grabbed her book bag and hooked her arms through the straps. If she kept herself busy, she wouldn’t latch onto her mom and never let go.

“Do you have anything in the trunk?”

“Yeah, just a couple of things.” Severine moved her seat forward and started piling her bags out of the car.

“Severine Joi!”

Severine wrapped a bag around one shoulder and grabbed another before she looked at her mom. “Yes?”

Clacy stared down at the trunk. When she looked at Severine, her light blue eyes were sharp. It didn’t take long for her to get back into Mom mode. “This isn’t, ‘a couple of things.’ This is trash bags FULL of things.”

“Okay. Let me rephrase that then.” Severine trudged toward her mom. Her shoulders were already aching from the weight of her bags. “I ran out of suitcases, so I packed some items in trash bags. I honestly don’t see what the big deal is.”

“Are you taking all this back ?”

“No. I’m gonna keep some crap here.”

“More things for me to store away?” her mom asked with false enthusiasm. “My day is complete.”

“You know you missed me.”

Clacy carried the bags with her and wrapped her arm around Severine. She smelled like cookies. She was her mom, and she was the same. Severine blinked back the wetness in her eyes and returned the hug.

Chapter Twenty

It was eight in the morning, and she was already up.

Severine stared at the pattern on her ceiling and listened to the sound of the TV playing downstairs. Her mom had always gotten up freakishly early in the morning. Even though it was Thanksgiving, her routine would stay the same—it would just also include a crap load of food to make.

Lying on top of her nightstand was her phone. She swiped a finger across the screen. There were no missed calls. Severine wasn’t surprised. She and Macsen hadn’t parted on good terms. A large part of her was tempted to call him, to ask how his day was going. The truth was she didn’t want to fight with Macsen, and she didn’t want him to worry about Thayer. But she couldn’t make him see the truth. Severine could tell him until she was blue in the face. But he’d have to be the one to realize it.

She stretched slowly, her muscles sighing in relief, and went downstairs to the kitchen. “Morning,” Severine scratched out.

“I didn’t think you’d be up at a decent time. How’d you sleep?”

“Good. I forgot how comfy my bed was.”

“Your dorm bed that uncomfortable?”

“It’s like sleeping on box springs,” Severine grumbled and poured some coffee. “So what’s the plan for today?”

Her mom stopped frantically mixing the ingredients in front of her to blow the dark brown strands away from her forehead. She was already getting stressed out. “Grandma’s coming over soon. She’s bringing a few pies and seven-layer salad.”

Severine’s mind may have been shaken, but the mention of food perked her up. “Ah! Sounds yummy. She makes the best pies.” She grabbed the cinnamon creamer from the fridge and poured too much into her cup for it to be called coffee. “Who all is coming this year?”

“Your aunt and uncle, a few of your cousins, two of Grandma’s sisters...”

“Not too many.”

“I’m still gonna be on a warpath to clean this house,” Clacy grumbled.

“Then I’m going to go change.” Severine carried her coffee mug with her up the stairs and listened to her mom shout.

“Get down here after you’re done!”

Her room looked like it had vomited up her clothes. All the trash bags were emptied. Things she wanted to leave here or take with her back to the dorm were mixed together. Severine walked over to the piles and her suitcase. You never dressed to impress on Thanksgiving. It was an unwritten rule for all women. Or, at least for Severine it was.

Thanksgiving was National ‘Eat Until Your Top Button Pops Open Day.’ She grabbed a loose v-neck sweater and a pair of blue jeans, before ratting her hair up into a low ponytail.

Her phone was still sitting where she had left it last. If Macsen was waiting for her to call, he might as well give up now. Severine was the one domino no one could push down. Macsen wouldn’t be the first one to try. But she did want him to be the last to fail.

The front door slammed, and she heard the bustle of her grandma. Severine smirked and walked back down. A smile was on her face by the time she whirled into the kitchen, just in time to hear her grandma bossing her mom around.

“Grandma!” Severine announced loudly.

Her grandma stopped talking to look in Severine’s direction. When she saw her granddaughter standing there, she lit up.

Severine may have a few physical attributes from her grandma: her dark hair, green eyes, and light complexion. The similarities ended there. Her grandma was a petite woman. Severine outgrew her by the time she hit fifth grade. She was someone you’d never want to underestimate, though. Severine had watched her lecture grown men at church and leave them with tears in their eyes.

She moved around the kitchen island, and Severine took in her blue-jean skirt that ended at her ankles and a sweater that was buttoned up modestly. Severine could see her reflection in her grandma’s glasses, but it wasn’t hard to look past that and see her grandma’s narrowed eyes. Her mind was still set in a time where women should always remain covered up. They’d never see eye-to-eye on styles of clothing. It didn’t change the one thing that stood up against all their opinions and differences. She loved Severine fiercely. It’d be the biggest thing they’d always have in common.

“Severine! I didn’t know you’d be here today.”

Clacy turned and frowned. “I told you yesterday, Mom.”

“Lily and I decided to come home a little earlier than planned,” Severine explained before she squeezed her grandma in a tight hug. She was starting to realize that there would hardly be any more moments in her life where she would feel one hundred percent protected.