Everything You Want (19 page)

After I finished grading papers I leaned
back into the couch and sighed.  Never in my career had I wished I had
more papers to grade, but it was the only thing I could focus on.  I
glanced at the TV, which was on mute.  There was a sitcom on, one that I
liked.  I tried to watch it for a few minutes, but then I heard the dog
bark in the next apartment and my concentration was shot.  It was about
time to take a shower, I supposed.

I peeled myself off the couch and started
for the bathroom.  I flipped on the lights and glanced in the mirror as I
walked by.  Wow, I looked awful.  I leaned closer and studied my
reflection.  I looked pale, even more so than usual, had dark, bluish
circles under my eyes, which looked almost lifeless.  I looked like a guy
who had given up on everything. 
No man, just…no.

That was it.  I could feel myself
sinking and it was time to stop.  I needed to be proactive, although I
didn’t know how much more proactive I could be without stalking her.  But
there had to be something, some way to get her to listen to me, to let her know
how much I loved her and how I wasn’t backing down.

I had no other choice.  I called
Ollie.

Half an hour later we were zooming down
the road into a bad part of town.  

“We’re going to have to be careful. 
This is a little closer to the police station than I like to get.”

“The police station?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it,
though.  This place is perfect.  She’ll definitely see this on her
way to work.  No way she could miss it.”

“Shouldn’t we wait until later to do
this?  It’s only nine o’clock.”

“Nah.  It’s dark, isn’t it? 
Besides, there’s not a lot of traffic through here this time of night.  If
we see any headlights, we’ll have time to run.”

“Comforting,” I said as he pulled his car
into the alley beside the old decrepit building we were about to tag.  It
was on the way to Marissa’s bank, technically, but I doubted this was a street
she’d take.  It was the shortest route, but not the safest.  It was
my only option, though.  It’s not like I could go spray paint a giant
heart on the bank, or anywhere near it.  This neighborhood was dark, and as
Ollie had said, pretty much abandoned.  I could only hope she was feeling
a little daring on her way to work the next morning, or running late,
maybe.  Then she’d pass it for sure.

I looked at the side of the building, and
immediately felt stupid.  I shouldn’t have called Ollie, but I was driving
myself crazy sitting in that apartment.  I couldn’t stand it
anymore.  I had to do something.  I had to take action, even if it
was something as dumb as painting her name on the front of an old falling-in building
that she might never see.  It would at least make me feel better for a
second.

“This shouldn’t take long,” Ollie said as
we climbed out of the car.

Marissa

I heard the soft knock on my door and
groaned.  He needed to just give up.  The knock sounded again and my
lips pressed into a thin line as I tried to ignore it, tried to focus on the
Us
Weekly
in front of me.

Three more knocks.

“Go away!” I said loudly, not bothering
to mask my annoyance.

Knock, knock
.

“Go away!!”  I stood up and threw my
magazine across the room.

Knock, knock
.

“What?!”  I flung the door
open.  “I have nothing to say to—” I stopped short when I realized
it wasn’t Kieran standing in my doorway.  It was Shannon.  “Oh,
hi.  Sorry.”

“It’s okay.  Can we talk?” he asked.

If it was any of Kieran’s other friends,
I would have said no, but since it was Shannon’s fiancée I caught Kieran
kissing, I moved out of the way to let him in.

“I take it you know why I’m not speaking
to Kieran,” I said.

“I do,” he said, stepping into the living
room.

“When did you find out?”  I asked,
torn between not wanting to have this conversation and wanting to comfort him
because I knew he was probably as miserable as me.

“Right after you did.”

“How?”

“Kieran called me.”

I frowned.  “That was bold.”

Shannon shrugged.  “It was the right
thing to do.”

“How long had it been going on?”  I
asked, not sure that I wanted to know.

“A while.”

I nodded, swallowing the lump in my
throat.  “Did you have any idea?”

“I suspected, but I didn’t want to
believe it until Kieran told me.”

“Is it over with you and Alisha?”

“Yes.  But it doesn’t have to be
over between you and Kieran.  That’s what I came here to say.”

“What?”

“Kieran didn’t do anything wrong. 
You need to talk to him.”

“Shannon, I saw them.  I saw him.”

“No, what you saw was my fiancée throwing
herself at him.”

“Well, he wasn’t doing a very good job
fighting her off.”

“He was so shocked it took him a second
to figure out what was happening.  I wish I’d been as shocked when he
called, but I wasn’t.  I could tell Alisha had feelings for him and I
should have confronted her about it before, but I didn’t because I felt like if
I did, it would make it true.”

I nodded.

“Anyway, I came over here to tell you to
give Kieran a break.  What you think you saw was wrong.  He would
never do that, not to me or you.”

“So him and Alisha…?”

“Are nothing.  He’s in love with
you.”

I studied his face.  He looked
sincere, but I didn’t really know him well enough to tell.

“I wouldn’t lie to you,” he said. 

No, I decided he probably wouldn’t. 
I’d had a good feeling about him from the start.  Plus, I wanted to
believe him so bad.

“Okay.”  I nodded. 

He smiled.  “Good.  Then you
should probably go talk to Kieran.  He’s going crazy without you.”

My stomach twisted with guilt.  “I
feel terrible.  He tried to talk to me.  I should have let him
explain.”

Shannon shrugged.  “We all make
mistakes.  Look at who you’re talking to.”

I frowned.  “Shannon, how could you
have known?”

He worked his bottom lip between his teeth,
then answered, “I should have.”

I sighed and started for the door. 
Shannon’s phone rang and I heard him answer it. 

“Kieran, hey.  Where are you?”

I paused in the doorway and listened.

“WHERE?” Shannon shouted.  “Are you
serious?  What were you thinking?”

I looked over to him and his worried eyes
met mine.  I wondered what was going on.

“Okay, okay.  Yeah, I’ll be there as
soon as I can.  I’m leaving right now.”

“What was that about?”  I asked, my
brows knitting together.

“I gotta go.  Kieran and Ollie were
arrested and I need to post bail.”

My mouth dropped open. 
“Arrested?  What?”

“Yeah, I don’t think it’s too serious. 
They were just being stupid.”  Shannon started out my door and I grabbed
my purse. 

“I’m coming with you.”

He nodded and we raced down the stairs
and into the parking lot.  I followed Shannon to his car and once we were
in, he sped out of the lot.

“Has this ever happened before?” I asked
when he stopped at a red light.

“With Ollie, yes.  Kieran, no,” he
answered, staring straight out the windshield.

We rode in silence after that.  I
couldn’t stop thinking about what Shannon had said about Kieran and
Alisha.  I had been so sure about what I’d seen, but it turned out I was
wrong.  I felt like an idiot.  A heartless, stubborn idiot.  I
also couldn’t help but wonder if the reason Kieran was in jail right now had
something to do with me.

I didn’t have to wonder long.  We
stopped at an intersection and something red caught my eye.  I gasped.

“Oh, my—is that…” I trailed off,
one hand covering my mouth, the other pointing to the left.

Shannon turned to see what I was looking
at.

“Yes.  That would be what they got
busted for.”

There was a large, red, bleeding heart
spray painted on the crumbling, abandoned building to my left.  Inside
black letters read, “Marissa.”  Underneath, in large red letters outlined
in black it said “FOREVER.”  To the side of that, in smaller letters, was
the message, “P.S.  I don’t care if you don’t like coffee.”  Except
coffee was spelled, “coffe”, missing the final “e.” 

I laughed, my eyes tearing up.  “I
can’t believe he did that.  It’s so beautiful.”

“It’s so illegal,” Shannon retorted, but
he was laughing, too.

“How could I have ever thought that
Kieran was really with Alisha?  I’m such an idiot, Shannon,” I said,
shaking my head, wiping the tears away. 

“Well, that’s perfect, ‘cause he is,
too.”  Shannon smiled.

When we arrived at the police station, I
decided to wait out front while Shannon went in and took care of
business.  The air was cool and I wrapped my arms around myself, taking a
shaky breath as I waited to see Kieran again.  It seemed to take
forever.  Finally, Ollie emerged from the front doors.

“Oh, hey, Marissa,” he said when he saw
me.  “Sorry about getting Kieran in trouble.”

My lips turned up as I patted his
shoulder.  “I think he got himself in trouble.”

Shannon came out next and he and Ollie
walked towards the car.

Kieran came out last.  His eyes
widened when he saw me.  He opened his mouth, but I didn’t give him time
to say anything.

“Kieran!”  I threw my arms around
his neck.

“Hey,” he whispered, bending to bury his
face in my neck.  His whole body seemed to relax as he wrapped his arms
around my waist.  “How did you know I was here?”

“I was with Shannon when you called,” I
said.

He lifted his head and looked down at me,
his brows drawn in confusion.

“He came over to talk about what really
happened with you and Alisha,” I explained.

“You’ll talk to him, but not me?” 

I looked away to avoid the hurt in his
eyes.  “Um…yeah.  I’m sorry about that.  I was just being a
stupid, stubborn—”

Kieran shook his head.  “No, stop. 
I’m just glad you’re here.”

“No, really, I am sorry.  There’s no
excuse—”

He bent down and kissed me.  “Shhh…”
he said against my lips.  “We’ll talk about it later.  Right now, I
just want to go home.”

I nodded.  “Okay.”

He held my hand as we walked to Shannon’s
car. 

“So,” I began.  “Got caught defacing
some property, huh?”

“Yes.  And resisting arrest.”

I stopped and turned to gape at
him.  “Resisting arrest?”

“Yeah, I wanted to finish.”

I lifted my eyebrows.  “That
explains why coffee only has one “e”, I guess.”

“Yeah, they got the Taser out.”  He
shrugged.

I burst out laughing.  “Did you have
to take a mug shot?”

He shot a dirty glare in my direction. 
“Yes.  I have a record now, thank you.”

“What?  This isn’t my fault!”

“No, I know.  Just messing with
you.”  He threw an arm around my shoulders and we resumed our walk to the
car. 

A few feet in front of the car Kieran
paused and pulled me against him for a long kiss.

“Marissa, don’t ever shut me out again,”
he said when he pulled away.

I tilted my head and grinned.  “Even
if I see you kissing someone else?”

“Even then.  You have to talk to
me.  I probably have a great explanation.”

I pursed my lips and pretended to think
about it.  “Okay,” I agreed.

He smiled.  “Okay.”  He kissed me
on the forehead and opened the car door for me to get in.

Kieran

I scooped a few tablespoons of coffee
grounds into the basket of the new coffee maker I’d bought Marissa.  I’d
figured I was going to be spending a lot of my time at her place and I didn’t
want to keep walking back and forth for coffee.

It was a Friday night and we’d decided to
stay in.  I was on probation, so I thought it was probably a good idea to
lay low.  Also, I had community service bright and early in the morning, so
I needed to rest up for that.  Since it was a first time offense, the
judge didn’t go as hard on me as he could have, but I still had a hefty fine to
pay, and so much community service I didn’t even want to think about it. As for
my job, I’d received a strict warning from the superintendent for my arrest,
and I knew the principal, Mrs. Nelson, was going to keep a close eye on me, but
other than that it looked like I was going to be okay.