Everything You Want (5 page)

“So paint it on a canvas,” Shannon
suggested.

“That’s not how it works,” Ollie said
through clenched teeth.

I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t help
grinning.  Ollie was always getting on to us for not understanding his
artistic visions.

Shannon and Ollie were my two oldest
friends.  Also my only friends, besides Emery.  We had grown up
together, gone to college together, and moved to Memphis afterwards. 
Well, Shannon and Ollie had moved first, and I had joined them later.  I’d
taken a little detour during college and graduated a semester late.

 “Let’s hit the Lounge,” Alisha said
as Shannon started up his car.

“No.  I don’t want to run into Ilana.”

“Why not?  It’s been about a month,
hasn’t it?” Alisha asked.

“Something like that.”

“You have to see her sometime,” she said.

“In this city?  No, I don’t.”

“Okay, so now we can’t go to the Lounge
anymore because Ilana hangs out there?”

“No, you can go anytime you want.  I
just don’t want to go there.”

“What’s with you tonight, Kier?  You’re
being a downer,” Alisha said, twisting around in passenger’s seat.

Shannon turned the radio down.  “No
offense, but she’s right.  Something wrong, man?”

“I’m fine,” I said, leaning back in my
seat.

“Is this about Ilana?” Alisha asked,
“Because, personally, I’m glad you’re done with her.”

“No.  Kieran doesn’t get upset over
girls,” Ollie said.

No, I didn’t.  Not anymore.  It
was a rule I’d made for myself years ago.  I didn’t get involved enough to
get attached, to get emotional.  Honestly, it was a rule I’d never even
been tempted to break.

And then…Marissa. 

It was one thing for me to fantasize
about being with Marissa.  It was another thing for me to actually be with
her.  And if she kept coming around, there was no way I could stay away. 
Of course I’d pretty much made it clear I wanted her to come back around, and a
big, sadistic part of me hoped she did.   

Alisha looked at me.  She was still
waiting for an answer.  “It’s not Ilana,” I said.

“Good.  She wasn’t good enough for
you.”

We cruised down Beale in silence until
finally, Shannon pulled up in front of a crowded club.  He turned his head
to look at Alisha.  “Is this okay?” he asked.

“Perfect.”  She smiled as he looked
around for somewhere to park.

“It’s okay, right?” Shannon asked again,
this time directed at me.

I really wished he wouldn’t do
that.  I knew he meant well, but I hadn’t touched a drink in four years
and it wasn’t like it killed me to be around it.  Besides, alcohol was
never really the problem anyway.  But nobody knew that.

The club was packed.  The bass boomed
over the speakers, causing the air to vibrate.  Multi-colored lights
flashed over by the crowded dance floor.  After looking around for a bit,
we found a booth in the back.  Alisha immediately took off for the dance
floor and Ollie went to go get us something to drink.

“Want something, Kieran?” he asked.

“Coke, please.”  I propped my elbows
on the table and rested my chin in my hands.  I so wasn’t in the mood to
be there.

A couple hours later Shannon dropped me
off in front of the apartment.  There were a lot of attractive girls at
the club, but I only danced with Alisha, because she asked me to.  Shannon
didn’t dance, so I usually stepped in for him when she needed me to. 
Normally, for part of the night, though, I’d go off on my own and find a girl
to spend time with, but I wasn’t in the mood to socialize.  I was still
thinking about Marissa, trying to figure out what made her different from
Ilana, and the one before her, and all the other girls I’d dated in the past
few years.  I couldn’t figure it out.  She was beautiful, but so were
the others.  Not like her, but they were attractive enough.  I had
thought maybe it was because of the fantasy of her that I had built in my head,
but she had come over and completely disproved that theory.  No, it was
just her, something about her.

I looked over at her door as I unlocked
mine and sighed.  She was in there.  I had seen her car in the
parking lot when Shannon pulled in.  I wanted to see her, but it was
late.  I pushed the door open and frowned.  I told myself I wouldn’t
feel this way about anyone again, but she was addictive.

I walked through the dark apartment to
the bedroom.  I crashed facedown on the bed, not even bothering to pull
the sheets back.  No sooner had I shut my eyes than my phone started
buzzing in my pocket. 

It was two in the morning, and I had just
been with Shannon and Ollie.  I didn’t have to look at the screen to know
who it was.

“What’s up?” I said, flipping onto my
back.

“Did I wake you?” my sister asked, her
voice thick.

I dragged a hand over my face. 
“Nope.  Just got in.”

“On a school night?  You’re bad,
Kieran.  Were you with Shannon?”

“Yeah.”

She was silent for a few seconds.

“How’s my nephew?” I asked.

“Skylar’s fine.  Sleeping.”

“I should hope so.  Why aren’t you?”
I asked softly.

“Rob’s not home, yet.  He said he
was just at the bar with the guys, but…” she trailed off.

“Then he’s at the bar with the guys,” I
said.  I did not actually think this, but I didn’t like it when my sister
was upset.

“If he’s at the bar with the guys then why
did Quentin post on Facebook that he’s ‘Chillin’ at home tonight,’ and Wyatt
just texted me to ask why Rob isn’t answering his phone?”

“Did he tell you he was going out with
Quentin and Wyatt?”

“Well, no, but—”

“Maybe he’s out with some other
guys.  He meets a lot of people in his line of business.  He’s
probably just out with some new friends.  You know, networking.”

My brother-in-law was an aspiring rock
star.  He was also a real jerk, and sometimes I found myself wanting to
hop on the first plane to New York to beat the crap out of him.  He didn’t
deserve my sister.  He never did, but she wouldn’t listen to
me.     

“You think so?” she asked, a sliver of
hope in her voice.

“It’s a possibility,” I said, trying to
sound more positive about it than I was.

I heard her take a deep breath.  “Okay. 
I don’t believe you, but I don’t want to talk about Rob anymore.  Distract
me.  What’s new with you?”

“Nothing.” 
Everything
.

“Did you meet anyone while you were out
tonight?”

“No.”

“Oh, wait.  You’re seeing someone,
right?”

“Not anymore.”

“Ugh!  Kieran, what happened?”

“Nothing happened.  I just stopped
seeing her.  It wasn’t serious.”

“None of them are, except for Becca.”

Rip
. 

Still, after all this time, just hearing
her name tore at my heart.

“Kiera.  Don’t,” I growled.

“Hey, touchy, it’s been five years. 
Get over it!  Anyway, all I was trying to say is that I don’t know why you
bother with girls at all.”

“You don’t know why I bother with girls
at all?”  I laughed.

“Yeah, if you not planning on committing
to anyone any time soon.”

“I’m non-committal.  I’m not dead.”

“You’re disgusting, and you need to quit
this serial dating.”

“Serial dating?  I’ve gone out with
a handful of girls and never called them back.  I’m not sure that
qualifies as serial dating.”

“Two handfuls.”

“Fine.  Two handfuls.  It’s not
a crime.  Lots of guys do it.”

“But you’re not lots of guys.”

I sucked on my lower lip.  She was
right.  I didn’t enjoy going out with girls a few times just to never see
them again.  But it was the only way.

“What about that cute girl next door?”
she asked.

“What about her?”

“Maybe if you’d talk to her, you’d
actually find someone worth being with for more than just a couple of months.”

“I have talked to her.  And she is.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“Kiera.”  I wasn’t going to spell it
out for her.  We were twins, and best friends at that.  She knew the
problem.  “Listen, I’ve got to crash.  Are you going to be okay?”

She hesitated.  Finally she said,
“Yes.”

“I want you to call me if he’s not back home
in the next hour,” I said, pushing my shoes off and pulling the covers back.

“I don’t want to wake you.”

“Wake me.  I want you to.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” I said, ending the call.  I
sighed and tried to put my sister’s marital troubles out of my head.  I
didn’t like to think about her hurting, especially when there was nothing I
could do about it.

I closed my eyes, exhausted from my night
out.  It was only two-thirty.  Three years ago I still would have
been pumped.  I really was getting old.

Just as I was beginning to drift off, I
heard movement in the bedroom on the other side of the wall.  My lips
formed a small smile and a warm feeling pooled in my chest.  Oh,
yes.  She definitely had an effect on me.  Right then I didn’t mind
it.

Marissa

Fridays were always busy at the
bank.  It was payday, I guessed.  By two o’clock it had slowed down a
little.  I glanced over at Camden.  I hadn’t really had a chance to
ogle him all day.  He sat at his desk, his fingers moving over his
keyboard, his phone tucked between his ear and his shoulder.  He was
wearing that green shirt that I loved, the one that really made his eyes pop.

Greta sighed loudly beside me.

“What?” I asked, turning to look at her.

“You know what.  Stop staring.”

“Oh.  Sorry.”  I bit my
lip.  How long had I been looking at him?  Long enough to be obvious
about it, apparently.

“Seriously, what do you see in him?”

“What don’t you see?”  I
asked.  “Because he looks pretty good from where I’m standing.”

“Yeah, and he knows it, too,” she
mumbled.

As if he sensed we were talking about
him, Camden got up from his desk and began walking towards us.  He stepped
behind the counter and breezed past us, heading for the offices in the back.

“Hello, Greta.  Melissa.”

Greta waited until he was several feet
away and then whispered, “See!  He doesn’t even know your name.  What
a jerk.”

I shrugged.  “Close enough.”

“You’re wearing a nametag,” she said,
pointing to my chest.

He genuinely did think my name was
Melissa.  He’d called me that before, several times.  One of these
days I planned to correct him.  Maybe.

As he walked through the door leading to
the offices, my boss, Antonia Nichols, stepped out and beckoned to me.  I
swallowed.  Antonia was one of those people who had a commanding presence,
and I always felt nervous around her.

“Yes, Ms. Nichols?” I said when I reached
her.

“I need to see you in my office for a
moment,” she said, and turned to lead the way.

What had I done?  What had I
done?  What had I done?
 
The phrase kept repeating itself in my head all the way to her office in the
back of the building.

“Sit down,” she said, nodding at one of
the two chairs in front of her desk. 

I sat and concentrated on keeping my
nerves in check.

“As you know, Ms. Pace will be taking her
maternity leave at the end of next week.”

“Yes.”  I nodded, not understanding
what Kori’s maternity leave had to do with me.  She was the other person
who handled opening new checking accounts, savings accounts, etc., just like
Camden.

“I’ve been watching you, and you’re doing
an excellent job.  You don’t make many mistakes, you’re great with the
customers, and I like the way you handle yourself.  What I need to know is
if you’re willing to take over Ms. Pace’s position while she’s out.  It’s
only temporary, but if I like what I see…Well, we’ll go from there.  So
are you interested?”

A promotion?  Well, not really, but
it was something.  And it came with a desk.  “Yes,” I said, trying
not to sound too eager.

“Okay, great.  You start training
with Camden on Tuesday.  I’ll let him know.”

Camden?  My stomach dropped.  I
stayed frozen to my seat until Antonia spoke again.  “That’s all I
needed.  You can go now.”

“Yes.”  I nodded.  “Thank you,”
I whispered as I practically fled from her office.

I didn’t say anything to anyone about my
sort-of promotion.  I figured Greta would ask, but we got so busy after
that she didn’t have time.  I kept sneaking glances at Camden, wondering
what it would be like to work with him in very close quarters.  Smelling
his spicy scent for more than just a second, staring into his bright green
eyes, brushing my arm against his…I was getting carried away.  This was
just an office crush.  I’d never actually expected anything to come out of
it.  I shouldn’t expect it now, even if we were going to be working more
closely.