Everything You Want (8 page)

“It wasn’t a date, and you’re the best
sister ever.  It’s probably for the best anyway.  I was getting too
close.  You’re right.  I do like her, a lot.  Too much.”

“That’s good, though.”

“No, it’s bad.  You know how I feel
about…”

“About what?  Relationships? 
Just because one girl screwed you over a million years ago—”

“It’s not just that.  I mean, look
at you.”

She flinched.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Yeah, you did.  It’s okay.  I
know what you mean.  My marriage exploded.  But I’ll be okay, I
hope.  Eventually.”

“You will.”

“Yes, and so will you.  Kieran, you
can’t keep living your life this way.  You can’t take two bad examples and
think that that’s just the way things are.  You need to believe there’s
something better for you out there.  I do.  For me, and for you.”

“How?”

“I just do.”

I swallowed and leaned back on the
couch.  My sister had just had her relationship blow up in her face and
here she was telling me to believe in something better.  She was so
strong.

I sat there for a long moment thinking
about what she’d said.  Why was I so scared?  What happened to me
wasn’t near as bad as what Kiera was going through, yet she was the hopeful
one.  Something was wrong with me. 

When I finally looked up, Kiera was
fishing through the kitchen cabinets.  She looked over at me.  “Hey,
where’s my tea?”

Marissa

Working with Camden was nice.  I thought
it might be weird since our sort-of date the night before, but it wasn’t. 
If anything, that had made it better.  He was funny and sweet, easy to
talk to, and he smelled delicious.  The work was easy enough to pick up
on, too.  I knew I’d have it down in no time, but I wasn’t quite ready to
have Camden stop training me yet.  I needed some distraction from the
female voice I kept hearing in the next apartment last night. 

I really didn’t have a reason to be upset. 
Like I told myself before, it wasn’t like Kieran and I had a thing.  I had
thought that maybe we could, but I must have been wrong because I had heard a
woman’s voice inside his apartment all through the night.  I was pretty
sure there was a baby, too.  I didn’t think it was his baby, but maybe it
was.  I didn’t really know very much about him.  He did say he was
having a family issue. 

By three o’clock I was pretty much doing
Camden’s work for him, while he sat back and watched.  I caught Greta looking
at me a couple of times with a scowl on her face.  I knew she was just
worried that I’d fall victim to Camden’s so-called infamous player charms, but
her fears were ridiculous.  After going out with him last night and
spending the whole day with him today, I could say that was definitely not the
vibe I got from him.

At around 4:55, when I was shutting down
the computer and straightening the desk, Camden turned to me and said, “So do
you have plans for after work?”

“No,” I said absentmindedly, putting the
pen I’d been using back in his pencil holder.  I never had plans for after
work.

“We should go out again,” he said. 
“I had fun last night.”

My eyes widened slightly.  He was
asking me out again?  So soon?

“Okay,” I said, feeling caught off
guard.  “What did you have in mind?”

“Well, I’ve been craving some Italian,”
he said.

“Italian’s good.”  I smiled. 
“Just let me run to the restroom first.”

I walked into the restroom with a goofy
smile on my face.  I’d had fun last night, too.  True, I’d caught
myself wondering about Kieran more than once, but that was clearly a lost
cause.  I felt a little pang in my chest when I thought of the woman’s
voice I’d heard through the bedroom wall when I arrived home last night. 
I didn’t know why.  Kieran and I were friends, nothing more.  No
reason to be upset.

When I stepped out of the stall, Greta
was standing in front of one of the mirror’s reapplying her lip gloss.

“How was your day?  Are you picking
it up quickly?” she asked, studying her reflection.

“It was good.  I think I’m learning
pretty fast.  I’ve missed you, though,” I told her.

“I’ve missed you, too.  I had to
talk to Teena all day.  Now I know a whole bunch of stuff about that loan
officer, Brian, that I really didn’t want to know.”

I gasped.  “Brian in loans?  No
way!  I didn’t think he was her type.”

“Why not?  Her type is everyone.”

“I guess.”  I paused, wondering
whether or not I should bring it up, but then decided it wasn’t a big
deal.  “So, Camden finally asked me out.”

“Camden asked you out?” she asked,
surprise coloring her voice.

“Yeah.  I know you don’t like him,
but he’s really nice.  You should give him a chance.”

“I never said I didn’t like him.  I
just don’t think you should date him.  You work together.  Dating
colleagues is almost never a good idea.”

“It’s just a date.  It’s not like
we’re serious.”

“Do you want to be?  I mean,
eventually?” she asked.

I shrugged.  “I don’t know.”

She sighed.  “Fine.  Just be
careful with him.  He’s…” She tapped her lip with her index finger as she
searched for the right word, “Shady, okay?”

I laughed.  “Okay.  I will keep
my eyes peeled for all forms of shadiness,” I said as I exited the
bathroom.  When I reached the front double doors, Camden was there waiting
for me.

“Have you been here before?” he asked as
we entered the small Italian restaurant a few miles from the bank.

“No.  I don’t really go out that
much.”

“Really?”  He raised his brows.

“Nope.”  I shook my head as he
pulled my chair out for me.  Great.  I shouldn’t have said
that.  That probably made him think I was some sort of hermit.  Of
course, if he did think that, I guessed he wouldn’t really be that far off.

“So you’re friends with Greta, right?” he
asked as a waiter set a basket of breadsticks in front of us.

“Yeah, sure.  We don’t really hang
out outside of work, though.”

“Oh.  So you haven’t met her
fiancé?”

“No, why?”

“I met him once.  Seemed like kind
of a douche to me.  Just wondered how you felt about him.”

“I don’t know.  Greta seems to like
him.  They spend every waking minute together.”

He bit his bottom lip and nodded. 
Then he picked up his menu.  “I’m starving.  How about you?”

“Yes.  What’s good here?”

“Everything, but I recommend the seafood
fettuccine Alfredo.”

I smiled.  I loved anything doused
in Alfredo sauce.  “That sounds good.  I think I’ll have that.”

The rest of the date went fine. 
There were a few awkward silences, but I thought that was pretty standard for a
first, er, second date.  We mostly just talked about work, the people that
we worked with, etc.  Being out with Camden wasn’t the exciting,
butterfly-inducing, soul-connecting, fantastic time that I’d been imagining all
these months, but it was still nice to be out with someone.  And he was
awfully cute.

An hour later he pulled into the empty
bank parking lot and stopped in the space right beside my car.

“I had a good time tonight, Marissa,” he
said, a slow, relaxed smile spreading across his face.

“Me too.”  Or, I would have, if I
could’ve kept my thoughts about Kieran under control.

We sat there silently for a moment before
I said, “Well…goodnight.  Thanks for dinner.”

“Goodnight,” he said quietly.

Then he leaned in.  Panic flared in
my stomach.  Oh, no. 

Wait, what was wrong with me? 
Get
it together, Marissa! 
Last week I’d wanted this.  I closed my
eyes and waited.  A moment later his lips met mine.  He threaded a
hand in my hair and moved his lips softly against mine.  After a minute he
pulled back, smiling at me.  I forced a smile back as I exited his
car.   

And that’s it. 

Nothing.  I felt nothing.  I
had been expecting fireworks, electricity, something.  I’d crushed on this
guy for months.  Yet, all I’d felt was nothing.

I drove into my apartment’s parking lot
and noted that Kieran’s car was there.  I wanted to go see him, but I knew
I couldn’t.  What if he still had his guest? 

When I came to the top of the staircase
there was a girl leaning against the railing in front of Kieran’s
apartment.  It must’ve been her, the girl I’d been hearing last night. 
She sniffling, dabbing a tissue under her eyes.  I wondered why she was
out there instead of inside.  Had Kieran broke it off?

I realized I was staring at her at the
same time she noticed my presence.

“Sorry,” she said softly.  “I needed
some air.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude, I
was just heading to my apartment.” 

I turned to walk towards my door when I
heard her say, “You’re Marissa, right?”

I glanced over my shoulder.  “Yes,”
I replied, my brow furrowed.  Why would she know that?  Had Kieran
told her about me?  Why? 

“I’m Kiera, his sister.”

His sister
.  Of course.  Now that she’d
said it I felt stupid for not realizing it the second I laid eyes on her. 
She had the same pale, creamy skin, the same almost black hair, same sky blue
eyes.  The same full lips.  There was no denying she was his twin.

She looked me up and down and a small
smile touched her lips.  “My brother really likes you,” she said. 
“Don’t tell him I said that.”

I couldn’t help the smile tugging at the
corners of my mouth.  “He does?”

She laughed a little.  “He
does.  Hey, do you want come in for a second?  Kieran won’t mind.”

It was late, but after what she’d just
said, the opportunity to see Kieran made my heart speed up a little bit. 
“Yeah, okay.”

Kieran

I stepped out of the bathroom with a
towel wrapped loosely around my waist.  I turned to go in the bedroom when
I heard Kiera call my name.  I twisted around to face her and jumped,
grabbing a handful of towel in my fist as it slipped.

Kiera was smiling at me.  “I invited
Marissa over.  Is that okay?” she asked nonchalantly with a spark in her
eyes that told me she knew exactly what she was doing.

My eyes went wide as my mind registered
that, yes, Marissa was sitting on the couch with my sister, and yes, I was
still standing outside my bedroom door, wearing nothing but a towel. 

“I’m gonna—uh—”  I
nodded my head towards the bedroom door, unable to get the whole sentence
out.  Marissa was staring at me.  Her lips were still turned up in a
small smile, but I could see the concern in her eyes.  She was taking it
all in.  The faded tattoo on my chest.  The long scar running down my
left arm.  I opened the bedroom door as carefully as I could manage and
slipped in, mindful of my sleeping nephew.  Once I was in, I walked over
to the dresser and braced myself against it, taking deep breaths.  I
lifted my eyes to the mirror and took a hard look. 

I didn’t hide the scar because it was
ugly.  I didn’t care about that.  I hid it because of what they
represented.  A part of me that I wasn’t ready for Marissa, or anyone, to
see.

I shook my head and quietly got dressed
in a pair of old jeans and a soft thermal long-sleeved shirt.  I couldn’t
hide out in here all night.  It would make it that much worse, if I acted embarrassed. 
The truth was, I was horribly embarrassed, but Marissa didn’t need to know
that.  I stepped out into the living room.  She was facing my sister
and laughing and she was beautiful.  I knew before I took another step
that if I was ever going to show myself to anyone again it would be her. 
But not now.  Not tonight.  I tugged at the sleeve on my left arm
just to assure myself it was there.

I smiled like nothing was wrong and sat
down next to Marissa.  “So, you’ve met my sister,” I said. 

“Yes.  She was just apologizing for detaining
you during yesterday.  I told her it was no big deal.”

It was a big deal to me.  I had
wanted to spend time with her.  But I couldn’t bail on my twin.  She
needed me, and she’d certainly been there for me when I needed her.

“Can I get you something?” I asked
her.  “We haven’t eaten yet.  We were waiting for the little guy to
go down.”  

“No, I just ate.  I thought I heard
a baby last night.  He’s yours?” she asked my sister.

“Yes.  His name is Skylar. 
You’ll have to meet him when he’s awake.”

“I’d like that.”

“Speaking of Sky, I’m going to go check
on him.”  Kiera stood up.  Surely it was my imagination, but I
thought I saw her wink at Marissa before she left the room.