Ex, Why, and Me (12 page)

She didn’t reply. Ryan suspected Michelle didn’t believe him. “I know what it’s like not meeting expectations. Or worse,
not
having expectations.”

He looked out into the darkening sky and saw a few stars sparkling back at him. “You could never sit back and let it be. I should be more like that. I should keep at my goal until I accomplish it.”

“What have you failed at? Is this why you aren’t pursuing your art? Whoops.” She clapped her hand over her mouth. “Sorry.”

“You were there.” He stopped and turned around. “It was that night behind the pinsetters.”

Michelle looked away and took a step back. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

He took a step toward her. “Guess what. We are going to talk about it.”

“No, we are not.” She stuck her fingers in her ears. “Lala-la-la-la. I can’t hear you.”

“It was all my fault,” he admitted.

She pulled her fingers away from her ears. “What was that?”

“Your selective hearing is amazing,” he said with a smile. “You’re right. You were too sexy for me.”

“Oh!” She growled in the back of her throat and pushed at him. “I knew you were going to tease me about that. Just forget I ever said that.”

“I’m not. You should have seen yourself that night.” His heart pumped faster as he remembered. “You were a goddess.”

Her jaw shifted to the side. “Stop teasing me.”

“I’m not,” he said. “There you were, the one girl I thought I couldn’t get, let alone keep, and—”

“You couldn’t get me?” She shoved her hands into her hair. “Hello! I was the one trying to catch you.”

The corner of his mouth lifted into a crooked smile. “You weren’t trying very hard.”

“You weren’t trying at
all.”

He was guilty of that, but for a good reason. “Because I didn’t think I could get you.”

“Okay, we definitely need to work on this.” She shook her head in disbelief. “From now on, when you want something, go after it. Don’t wait for it to come after—”

He swiftly cornered her. He stood in front of her and the river bluff was at her back. Ryan held her hands above her head and nudged his knee between her legs.

“…you…” she trailed off.

“Like this?”

“Of course,” Michelle said, swiping her tongue across her bottom lip, “there are times when you might want to ask.”

“I want to kiss you.” He lowered his head, blocking out everything but him. She felt contained. The bluff at her back and this hungry, determined man in front of her.

“Ask,”
she emphasized, trying to appear cool as excitement crawled up inside her, ready to burst from her skin. “Nicely.”

“Kiss me.” His mouth grazed hers.

She noticed he didn’t ask. He was a slow learner. Michelle wanted to turn her head and make him ask exactly as she wanted. She wanted to see what he would do. Or even better, what he would make her do. But she sensed that his will would prove stronger this time around.

“Remember to say please.”

His fingers flexed against her hands. “Please,” he said gruffly against the corner of her mouth.

She closed her eyes, surrendering to the moment. “Yes,” she whispered.

His kiss was fierce and rough. The stubble on his chin pricked at her skin. The edge of his teeth dug into her soft mouth.

Already, this wasn’t anything like their last time.

Ryan nestled between her legs, his cock pressing against her stomach. He reached down and grabbed at the jacket wrapped around her waist. One short pull and it flapped to the ground.

Sliding his hand under her shirt, he spanned his fingers against her warm flesh. Her stomach muscles twitched and bunched under his palm before his hand trailed up and cupped her breast.

Her nipples tightened under his touch. Her breasts felt heavy and full. He shoved her bra up and the cold breeze made her nipples furl into hard buds. Ryan teased the tips of her breasts with his fingers. Each pull and squeeze plucked deep inside her.

Ryan dipped his head and drew her nipple deep into his mouth. Michelle’s staggered groan echoed in the air. She fought to remain upright as her knees threatened to crumple.

His free hand trailed down her stomach. The light, purposeful touch tickled. Her blood roared in her ears as his fingers brushed against the snap of her jeans.

Fire, thick and rushing, pooled low in her belly. Her heart slammed against her rib cage. But she didn’t stop him. Didn’t say a word.

He flicked open the button and yanked down the zipper. Dipping his hand into her jeans, he pressed his hand against her underwear and cupped her mound. Michelle moaned and sagged against the bluff. He pressed the heel of his hand against her and she flexed her pelvis against him.

“Ryan,” she said, closing her eyes, licking her lips.

“Yes?” He traced his finger along her wet slit. Michelle strangled back a moan.

Ryan lazily drew his finger toward her clit, slowly drawing circles around the swollen nub. He licked one of her nipples with the same lazy, slow circles.

Michelle couldn’t stand it anymore. All she could think about was the aching center of her body. She had to have him. Inside her. Right now. She grabbed his hand and slid his finger beneath her panties.

And whimpered when he withdrew. Ryan pulled her hands above her head and held her fast. “Michelle,” he said as he leaned into her.

“Hmm?”

“Sometimes it helps if you ask nicely,” he said as his free hand skimmed down to her breast.

“This is me being nice.”

His husky chuckle made her want to sigh with pleasure. “Politely,” he continued as his knuckles swept down the curve of her waist.

She didn’t think she could do politely. Not right now. Not when she was straining against him.

His fingertips glided along the edge of her panties. “Saying please.”

She arched and rubbed against his thick, hard cock. She twisted against his big hand, but he wouldn’t let go. She had to do as he asked.

“Please.” The word dragged out of her.

His fingers slid past the silky fabric and threaded along the wet curls. Michelle shuddered against his hand, her body trembling as her self-restraint slipped.

Ryan dipped his finger into her wet core. Her inner muscles gripped him tightly, drawing him in deeper. He pumped her, fast and furious.

The heat inside her coiled tighter and spun. She knew it was too soon, but she couldn’t stop it. She didn’t want to. She was ready to yield to the inevitable.

She peaked quickly. Violently. The sensations ripping through her, leaving her weak and clinging. Her skin stung, her body pulsed, as she lay weakly against the river bluff.

“Michelle,” Ryan roused her. He lowered her hands and she felt the sparks zipping across her bound hand. It blended with the dull ache between her legs and at the tips of her breasts. Even her lips tingled from his whiskers.

“Five more minutes,” she told him groggily.

He pressed a kiss against her cheekbone. “It’s too dark to keep walking,” he decided, straightening her clothes. “We need to find shelter.”

Find shelter? It slowly dawned on her. She was alone in the wild with Ryan. She was handcuffed to the sexiest guy she knew and he was hungry for her.

It was official. Vanessa was the best friend
ever!

Then again, the wilderness was not all that it was cracked up to be. She stared at the area Ryan wanted them to camp in. “I’m not going in there!”

“It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Ha!” She pointed at the cave, the opening yawning at her like a giant mouth, ready to take a bite out of her. “That hole is huge.”

“Michelle, we can’t go any farther on the trail because we don’t have a flashlight. This is our only option. It’s going to be okay.”

She knew everything Ryan said was true and reasonable, but her gut instinct told her to keep moving. “You want me to sleep in a
cave?”

“Technically it’s not a cave,” Ryan said as he patted the rocky ledge jutting out. “Think of it as an alcove.”

“I’m thinking of it as unacceptable. There could be a bear in there. Or a wolf.”

She wasn’t sure if bears and wolves were indigenous to the area, but she was certain a bloodthirsty creature with really sharp teeth lived in that cave. If for no other reason than that was how her luck was running.

“There aren’t,” Ryan said, his patience wearing thin. “I promise.”

“What about bats?” She shivered at the thought. Oh, man, she wished she hadn’t thought about bats. They were creepy. There was no way she would lie down in that cave, even with Ryan there to protect her.

“Come on, Michelle.” He tugged on their bound wrists. “We have to. I can’t see where we’re going on the trail.”

“We can sit on the trail.” It wasn’t much better, but it didn’t mean dealing with bat droppings.

“This cave will keep us warmer. It will also protect us from the wind and rain.”

Michelle ground her back molars. This was not the night of hot wilderness sex she was imagining. She wanted raw, primal passion, but instead she was searching for a dry safe place to sit.

“People are not meant to live in caves,” she complained. “I mean…you know, people who aren’t cavemen.” So much for arguing her case.

“I heard people camped out here during the Depression,” Ryan said as he crouched down. She had to bend down with him or risk losing an arm. “They were here for months. Years.”

Michelle shuddered. She couldn’t imagine and she definitely didn’t want a taste of that kind of life.

“I’m asking you to stay here for one night,” Ryan said, coaxing her inside. “Not even that. A couple of hours until the sun comes up.”

“Fine,” she said as she crawled under the rocky ledge. “But if I see one bat, we are so out of here.”

“Okay. Come here.” He pulled her against him until she was settled between his legs. With her back against his chest, and his arms around her, she did feel safe.

“I wish I had my cell phone,” she said as she huddled against Ryan. She was feeling the withdrawal in full force. “We could have called Annie and found a way off this bluff. Ordered a pizza. Played solitaire. Something!”

“I don’t think they deliver this far.”

“Brandy is going to pay dearly for this.” The redhead had gone too far this time.

“Let it go.”

She considered doing that. She had heard holding a grudge required a lot of energy. She could take the higher road. Or plot her next move against Brandy. That was infinitely more entertaining. “Nope. Not going to.”

They sat in front of the opening, looking up at the starry night. “I’m hungry,” Ryan said suddenly. “Are you hungry?”

“Not really. Here.” She dove her hand into her jacket pocket and pulled out a hard candy.

“A mint?”

“That’s all I have, unless you prefer eating paper.”

“You’re supposed to be a cook,” Ryan said as he unwrapped the candy. “You should be able to make a nutritious and filling meal out of bark.”

“I’m a pastry chef, not a Green Beret.”

“Mm. Yeah.” Ryan chomped down on the candy. She could hear it splintering under his teeth. “That hit the spot.”

Michelle smiled and snuggled into him. She needed the warmth, but she needed the closeness even more. She loved the feeling of being surrounded by him. Protected. Cherished.

It was just an illusion, but she didn’t want to wake up. Not yet.

She couldn’t see very much of the cave and decided that was a good thing. The inky darkness and earthy scent were enough for her to keep her eyes directed to the stars in the sky.

Michelle settled against Ryan, her heart thudding against her breastbone. She felt the pull of each breath she took. The metal rubbed against her wrist.

But she was more aware of Ryan. The mint tingled her nose. His heat shrouded her. She closed her eyes as she felt the steady rise and fall of his chest.

The anticipation built gradually inside her. Low, low in her belly. It grew heavy and hot. It started to ache. She rocked her pelvis forward, but the dull throb wouldn’t disappear.

Why wasn’t Ryan making his move? She was right there. Ready, primed for action. Nothing and no one would interrupt them. It was just the two of them under an endless night sky.

Yet Ryan sat still, content while she was ready to burst from her skin. He stroked her short hair with his big hand. The flyaway ends slipped between his fingers with agonizing slowness.

She shivered as his palm brushed her neck over and over. She arched into his hold. The fine hairs on her skin stood to attention, ready for him to cup his hand against the side of her throat. To hold her still, to turn her whichever way he pleased.

To take charge.

He didn’t seem interested in the idea, yet she could feel his arousal pressing against her. Why wasn’t he interested? Why wasn’t he reading the signs?

Or, maybe he
was
reading the signals and choosing to ignore them. Why would he do that? He had seemed interested in making love during the hunt. Had even suggested it!

So what was the problem?

Unless…no. She pushed the possibility away. Far, far to the edges of her mind only for it to zing right back to the forefront.

It was possible. There was a chance. She hated to admit it, but she really might be too sexy for him.

Michelle cringed at the phrase. Too sexy. There was a positive spin on it, even though “too” anything meant it was negative. She might as well call it as it was. She was too
sexual
. That was more accurate.

That was one of the problems she had encountered with him behind the pinsetters, and it was something she’d had to hold back and hide from the other men whom she invited into her bed. It was never enough that a guy she was attracted to had kissed her. She wanted another kiss. A deeper kiss. A kiss that would make her head spin.

She was definitely one of those women who could never get enough. Guys might
think
that was a trait they wanted in a bedmate, but they gave up real fast. It was too much work. Too much expectation. Simply too much.

Even now, after what happened on the trail, she was ready for more. Did Ryan think that some impromptu, incomplete lovemaking would take the edge off of her desire? She wished.

It only whetted her appetite. Ryan might be satisfied stroking her hair and staring at the stars, but she was about ready to yank his hair, pull him underneath her, and have her way.

Which he may or may not be ready for.

One thing for sure, he was not going to make the next move. It was up to her. The sense of power was mind-boggling. She sucked in the cool air, steadying her nerves.

She moved forward and felt the bite of metal on her right wrist. Ryan’s left arm wrapped around her. More out of comfort than design.

What was she going to do about the handcuff? That was going to be a problem. The scrap of silver was the power equalizer. She couldn’t have that.

Michelle was ready to work around it. With the handcuff if she had to. But what would be her first move?

She would have to meet him head-on. No flirtations, no innuendo or hints. Face-to-face. No other way would work.

Michelle rose to her knees and the top of her head skimmed the cave ceiling. “Ow.” She moved to check the tender spot with her right hand.

Ryan’s arm clipped her chin and her head jerked up. The silver chain caught her hair. “Owww!”

“Hold on.” He brought his other hand to her waist and carefully turned her, maneuvering her around the handcuff. “What are you trying to do?”

“Turn.” She couldn’t see his face, but she had a feeling he was smiling and his blue eyes were shimmering with amusement. “Where is the moonlight when you need it?”

“How badly are you hurt?” His free hand touched the crown of her head, even though there wasn’t much space between her and the ceiling.

“I’m fine.” She placed her hands on his shoulders and lowered her head. The tip of her nose bumped against his as her lips found his mouth.

The tight coil around her ribs gave way as she tasted the lingering mint. She closed her eyes and savored the firm, masculine mouth.

Ryan cupped the back of her head with his hand as he kissed her. Slow, wet kisses that made her pulse skitter. She explored the curve of his bottom lip with a few nibbles and licks. He tasted exactly as she remembered.

She dipped past his lips and teased his tongue with her own. Ryan seemed determined to win. His hand braced against her head as he caught her tongue and drew her in deeper.

Michelle sank against him, her hands slipping from his shoulders to his chest. She smoothed her fingers against the soft cotton stretched across his muscles. She could feel the heat and power trapped underneath. She wanted to unleash it and test her own strength.

Bunching his shirt up, she heard the metal cuff around her wrist jingle with each awkward move. She flattened her hands against his hair-roughened chest, flexing her fingertips into the sculpted muscles.

He was beautiful. She moaned her appreciation against his mouth. She didn’t need to see him to know. She could feel it. The bold lines and sleek curves. The indentations of his ribs and the sharp jut of his hip bone.

But she still yearned to see him. She wanted to explore every inch with her hands and mouth. The need sparked inside her. It pricked and burned until she couldn’t think of anything else. She had to taste him.

Michelle dropped her hands down to his jeans. Her fingers had bumped against his belt buckle when Ryan tore his mouth from hers.

“Michelle.” Her name came out like a groan.

“Hmm?” She wrestled with the leather strap. She was usually more graceful and quicker about this.

“We can’t do this.”

She pressed her hand against his cock. Her womb clenched at the touch of his hard and thick length. “I think we can.”

He yanked the chain that attached them at the wrists, startling her. “You don’t get it. I don’t have any condoms.”

Michelle froze. The need for him flared until she wobbled from the fierce, intense pain.

No condoms. He had
no
condoms. How could he say he wanted her, torment her with his hands and mouth, and not be prepared to back it up with a condom?

“They are back at the bed and breakfast.” Ryan’s voice was close to a growl.

She couldn’t move. She wanted to yell. Scream. It was so unfair! She was never going to know the pleasure of riding him hard. She would never get to experience the pure ecstasy that pressed under the surface between them, desperate for release.

“You don’t know the pain I’m in,” Ryan said, his voice low and shaking with restraint. “There is nothing more that I want to do than toss you onto the ground and hold you down with my body—”

She closed her eyes and pressed her lips together.

“—strip you naked—”

Her hands clenched his leather belt.

“—and drive my cock into you.”

She bit back the whimper as she squeezed her thighs together.

“But I can’t.” Agony blurred his words. “No matter how much you tempt me, I won’t give in.”

Michelle licked her lips. She heard the challenge and she desperately wanted to test it. She wanted to see how powerful she was against his determination.

She wanted to, but she wouldn’t. He was protecting her. He could have easily flipped her on her back and settled between her thighs and to hell with the consequences.

Ohhh
…Michelle winced as her core pulsed.
Stop thinking like that.
She should be thankful Ryan was being considerate. Thoughtful. Responsible.

And once the throbbing disappeared she might start feeling thankful.

But right now she felt as though someone just stole the last bite of chocolate cake she had been saving. Her mouth still watered for it and she wasn’t going to be satisfied until she had it.

She shouldn’t be greedy. She knew that. She really did. After all, Ryan didn’t have any of the cake.

Now
that
she might be able to fix.

She slid the button free from his jeans and grasped the zipper when Ryan yanked the handcuff hard. She found herself batting her right hand in the air.

“I mean it, Michelle.”

“I know you do.” She lowered his zipper with her other hand until he grabbed her wrist and held her immobile.

Soon enough he would figure out that this was for his pleasure and his pleasure only. She wanted to please him as much as he had pleased her. Okay, and maybe throw in a little tormenting. After all, she was going to be suffering until they got back to the bed and breakfast thanks to his lack of foresight.

She lowered her head and rooted for the zipper with her mouth. It was harder than she expected and she was relieved that the darkness cloaked her movements.

“Michelle!”
Ryan flexed his pelvis against her. She knew from the instinctive move that he liked it. The inflection of his voice hinted that he was intrigued and willing.

Michelle dragged the zipper down with her teeth. She inhaled the masculine, musky hot skin as her nose pressed against his naked erection.

She wanted to breathe a sigh of relief or cackle wickedly. She didn’t have to deal with another barrier of clothing.
This is going to be so easy
. She could take him in her mouth right now if she wanted to.

“Ryan,” she said, her puffs of breath making him shiver. She nuzzled against his protruding cock. “I already had my turn. I want to give you yours.”