Exposure (27 page)

Gaze steady, she swallowed. "In the future,
if you asked me to marry you, I wouldn't say no."

He froze. In fact, everything seemed to
freeze. Time. His pulse.

Staring into her eyes to search for the
loophole, he found none. She was serious.
His.
Hell, she
hadn't even said she loved him yet, but she would. Soon. She was
almost there. Finally, after ten years and too many lies, he had
her.

"I don't want a McMansion." She tilted her
head, studying the table. Clearly avoiding the previous holy shit
moment, she babbled about what kind of house they should tell a
realtor to search. "No more than three or four bedrooms. There
would have to be a room we could convert into an office for you. A
yard for Aubrey. Also, a--"

"Raven."

She glanced at him. "What?"

"Shut up." Hauling her out of her chair, he
kissed her hard, cutting off any argument. She softened against
him, moaning into his mouth.

Then he took her to bed, where they made
love with her on top. Because never let it be said he couldn't let
his woman boss him around. He enjoyed every second.

"
W
hat about that guy?" Nicole jerked
her chin, indicating another prospect.

Raven glanced across the crowded bar to a
man sitting alone, nursing a beer. "No."

Flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder,
Nicole huffed. "Why? That's been no for about every guy I
found."

Raven sipped her fruity cocktail, wincing at
the sweetness. "If you can't pick a decent drink, you sure can't
pick out a date."

Nicole narrowed her eyes. "What's wrong with
him? He's cute."

They'd been at the bar for thirty minutes,
fresh off another successful show at the gallery, and Raven wanted
to relax. She hadn't been out for fun in ages, and this week had
been a mad dash to pull their scheduled exhibit together after the
forensics team was through.

Playing along, Raven glanced at the man in
question. "He's in the right age bracket, probably early thirties,
so he's mature enough. But he's in a swanky bar and ordered a beer
on tap. He also hasn't made any attempt to take in his
surroundings. He's fresh off a broken heart or too shy to go after
what he wants."

Nicole shook her head, awe in her eyes. "You
got all that after looking for five seconds?"

"Yep."

Before Noah, she'd made it a point to notice
the details. The club where she'd found her dates was just down the
street. Her pattern was to watch, catalogue, and approach only if
they met her criteria--willing to be submissive, not into hard
kink, and not the type to cling. It had only been two months since
she and Noah started seeing each other, and already they were
discussing marriage, buying a house. Granted, she'd brought up the
subject, but still. She was sunk so deep she couldn't contemplate
life without him. Part of her warned it was too soon.

"Who would you pick then?" Nicole turned her
head to regard Raven.

She forced another swallow of diabetic shock
and skimmed the bar from her stool. Her gaze bypassed Noah, sitting
with his guard Hintz in the corner, watching every blink she made,
and fell onto a man near the back, playing darts. He had two women
watching him and a male standing near waiting his turn. Worn jeans,
ripped at the knee, and a white shirt. He had muscles, but not
overstated. His dark hair was this side of too long, but it was
clean and he was freshly shaven.

Raven nodded. "Him."

Nicole followed her gaze. "Really? Why?"

"He's got a bad boy edge, but cares about
his appearance. He also doesn't have a preference for easy women.
He probably won't be boring in bed and won't cling the next day,
yet there's the potential for more."

Nicole's jaw dropped. She slowly shook her
head. "You need to work for Homeland Security. How do you know all
that?"

She set her drink aside, as it made her
teeth ache. "His clothes are worn, but clean, so he's comfortable
in his own skin and doesn't care what people think. That type of
man is confident in the bedroom. Plus, he's good-looking, so he's
been around the block. He hasn't paid any attention to the skanks
eyeing him. He tipped the waitress handsomely, so he has a job and
respect for those who do. That means he can commit to something,
once he finds what he likes. The distracted look in his eyes says
he hasn't found that yet, but he's looking."

As Nicole gawked, Raven turned on her stool
and called for the bartender. "Send the man playing darts a whiskey
neat, compliments of my friend here."

The bartender nodded and filled the order.
Nicole's cheeks flushed as she watched from the corner of her
eye.

Raven cleared her throat. "Look right at him
and give him your shy smile."

Nicole spoke out of the corner of her mouth.
"Shy shouldn't be hard. Oh crap. He's looking at me."

Raven laughed.

"Why a whiskey neat? Hurry, he's
coming."

"He looks like he has Irish roots and he
wasn't drinking beer." Raven turned just as he approached. "My job
is done." She slid off the stool and spoke to Nicole. "Call me in
the morning. Or don't."

Raven left them chatting and made her way
over to a scowling Noah. Wondering what the drawn brows and
irritation in his eyes was about, she reached for her coat on the
back of her chair. "Problem?"

He rose and shrugged into his jacket.
Silent, as if measuring his words, he shook his head and led her
outside to the awaiting car. Side by side in the backseat, tension
radiated off him. Just as she was about to demand an answer for his
mood, he turned toward her.

"You bought that guy a drink." Shadows cut
across his face, only relieved by the occasional streetlight.

Jealousy? After everything? "I bought him
the drink on behalf of Nicole. The purpose for tonight was to get
her laid. What's the deal?"

His shoulders slumped, but his jaw tensed as
he turned his head toward the window. After a beat, he shook his
head, but wouldn't meet her gaze. "I guess it made me think of your
tactics from before we started seeing each other. You going to
clubs, watching." His jaw clenched more. "The men you might've
picked to go home with."

Was this a safety thing or jealousy? She
couldn't change anything about her time before him, and didn't want
to. Those experiences led her here, made her appreciate what she
and Noah had even more. "In case you hadn't noticed, I'm going home
with you."

Without warning, he reached out and clasped
her hand, squeezing. Still, his gaze trained away as they wove
through the dark, snowy streets. They'd laid all their secrets
bare, had nothing between them anymore. She didn't understand his
mood.

When he finally turned to look at her, her
heart pounded at the raw intensity in his eyes. His gaze roamed her
face, taking all of her in as he decided something. He opened his
mouth twice before he actually spoke.

"Your preferences, have they changed? Is
this relationship…enough for you?" His voice was hoarse and riddled
with regret. His eyes were a scary mix of determination, hope, and
pleading.

Where was this coming from? Noah was the
furthest thing from insecure. Their friendship had laid the
groundwork for the steady foundation they had together. Hadn't she
opened herself to him? Given him everything?

His fingers tightened around hers. "You let
me do anything with your body, but your heart's not completely
engaged. Something's holding you back."

He wasn't wrong in that observation. He was
so very right. It shamed her, because he was giving his all and she
was holding a piece of herself back. She trusted him, wanted what
came next in their path, was trying to get them there, but just
couldn't bring herself over that last threshold. She didn't even
know what to do to breach the small gap, as she couldn't put her
finger on what was off.

Maybe they'd jumped too fast. Perhaps the
outside danger was clouding her reasoning. But she had a sinking
suspicion it was a default on her end. No rationale or excuse would
fit, because she was just…wrong. She'd formed attachments in her
life, loved a precious few people like Nicole and her mom, yet
something always seemed missing. Not right inside her, like she'd
been constructed incorrectly.

Honestly, she loved with her head, not her
heart. And she didn't think something like that could be fixed.

Noah inhaled sharply and closed his eyes,
drawing her gaze back to him. "Stay, Raven." He slowly opened his
eyes and worked a swallow. "Stay with me."

"I…am." Guilt tore at her stomach. He
deserved so much better than she could offer. After everything he'd
endured, dammit, he deserved everything. But for some reason, he
wanted her. "I'm here. And you're enough. More than enough."

The half lie tasted sour in her mouth. At
some point, he'd have to move on when he realized she was lacking
the one thing he desired most--love. Everything he'd ever loved had
been taken from him. He deserved the chance to build a family.

Back at the condo, he headed straight for
the bedroom, still holding her hand. Without a word, he stripped
her out of her clothes, then shed his and pulled the blankets down
on the bed. He sat on the edge of the mattress and motioned for
her.

She stepped over to him. He took her by the
waist, turned her so her back was to him, and eased her down to sit
on his thighs. The light dusting of hair on his chest brushed her
back when she leaned into him. His arms came around her instantly,
pulling her closer as his chin dropped to her shoulder. The solid
feel of him around her comforted, shoving aside her earlier
thoughts, so all that remained was them.

He kissed her neck. "I bought something for
you." He reached into the bedside drawer and pulled out a black
pouch, handing it to her.

The last time he'd bought her something in a
small package it had been the vibrating panties. Her skin heated as
the apex of her thighs throbbed. She swallowed hard and loosened
the cinch on the pouch, pulling out… "A butt plug."

His hands landed on her thighs, stroking.
"Do you still want to try anal play?"

She turned her head to look at him, then
returned her gaze to the small pink plug. The silicone was soft and
pliable in her hand, no larger than her finger, and wide at the
base. She'd used ones similar on previous lovers when they'd
desired, but had never used one herself. The idea didn't trip her
heartbeat. Instead, heat coursed through her core, making her even
more wet.

She handed him the plug and nodded.

He nuzzled her hair, his hand drifting up
from her thigh to cup between her legs. He groaned. "So wet, baby.
You like the idea." He nipped her ear, and she shuddered. "You'll
feel incredibly full with me and the plug inside you. It will
prepare your body for me, so that later, I can take you there,
too."

With every word, her breath caught. Fire
licked her skin. She bucked against his hand, urging more,
thrusting her backside against his thick erection.

He spread her thighs, so that her legs were
caging his. Reaching into the drawer, he removed a small bottle of
lube and set it next to his hip. He wrapped an arm around her waist
and, with a hand between her shoulder blades, urged her to bend
over.

With her ass in the air, he secured her in
place with his arm. She grabbed his calves to hold onto something.
Blood rushed to her head. Cool air hit her damp skin between her
folds. Dizzy with desire, she gasped.

The flick of the lube cap sounded behind
her. She tensed, not knowing what to expect.

His warm hand cupped her nape and slid down
the column of her spine. "This might feel uncomfortable at first. A
burning sensation accompanies the stretching."

"Okay," she breathed. Her chest was tight
with anxiety, but the rest of her body wanted the push for more.
She held her breath as he shifted behind her.

He worked the cold, wet lube around her
hole, rubbing circles with the head of the plug. She swallowed hard
as her stomach jumped. After a moment, the sensation was no longer
scary, but good, lighting nerves and heat to the area. She grew
even more wet, drenched now, for him.

"Take a deep breath, baby."

Before she could, he pressed the plug past
her ring of muscle and inserted the tip. Her channel stretched at
the invasion, burning just like he'd said. He worked it deeper,
slowly, until she was writhing over him. For more? To stop? She
didn't know. It was a pain and pleasure mix, both overwhelming.

"I'm at the base, baby. This part's wider.
Almost there."

She yelped when her body was forced to
stretch around the broad base, her nails digging into his calves.
But then the minor amount of pain stopped when the plug was fully
rooted, leaving her with a sense of being full. Panting, she held
still.

After a moment to adjust, he eased her up,
until her back was against his chest. The plug shifted inside her,
gliding along her sensitive walls.

He palmed her aching, heavy breasts. "How
does it feel?"

"I…don't know." Her channel was hot, muscles
clenching around the plug. Nerves she'd never before used seemed to
splinter apart, firing on all cylinders. Though she did feel full,
her body ached for him to fill her even more. Her clit throbbed and
she was all but dripping for him. "Please, Noah."

He cupped her between her legs, moaning at
how slick her folds were for him. "Are you ready for me?"

"Yes." She threw her head back onto his
shoulder, bringing her arm up to wrap around his neck from behind.
Her ass pressed against his shaft, shifting the plug and ripping a
cry of desperation from her lips. "Want you inside me."

The next thing she knew, she was flat on the
bed. Before she'd even stopped bouncing he was between her thighs,
pressing his way inside and thrusting deep. Fully rooted, he
paused, holding himself above her with his arms. His muscles shook
with tension, his expression fierce.