Eyes Wide Open: The Blackstone Affair, Book 3 (4 page)

“Well, climb aboard then,” I told her.

She attached herself and hung her arms around my neck as I held her little legs tucked under my arms. I groaned, pretending to struggle to rise to my feet. I stumbled into the wall with exaggerated movements, being careful of her head. “God, you weigh a lot. Been eating a lot of ice creams, have you?”

She giggled and dug her heels into my sides. “Go, Uncle Ethan!”

“I’m trying to!” I grunted, pretending to crash into the walls as I stumbled along. “Feels like I have an elephant back there! Did you change from a princess into an elephant?”

“No!” she laughed at my antics and poked me harder. “Go faster than this!”

“Hold on tight,” I said, as we whooped and yelled our way down the grand staircase and into the family area.

My sister and Brynne were both waiting for us when we ducked into the homey kitchen. I’m sure all the screeching laughter preceded our arrival, but it was the look on Brynne’s face that gave me a kick. Her eyes widened at the sight of us, probably shocked to see me playing around like this.

“Hello, Han,” I said, going forward to kiss her cheek, Zara still clinging to my back and slightly choking at my neck.

“E.” She embraced me, her small form reaching to just under my chin as comforting as she had been for my whole life. For a boy who had lost his mum so young, I’d substituted for my older sister in some ways. She’d always mothered me anyway and we’d just adjusted our relationship in the only way we knew how to. I looked over at Brynne and winked at her. Zara giggled and bounced like she wanted her “horsey” to keep on going.

“Zara, did you wake up Uncle Ethan?” she asked her daughter with a raised brow.

I could feel Zara shake her head back and forth vigorously and had to bite back the incriminating grin threatening to spread over my face.

“He opened his eyes all by himself, Mummy,” she announced.

Brynne laughed. “That must have been interesting, I’m sorry I missed it.”

“Zara,” Hannah scolded gently, “I told you to let him sleep.”

“It’s all right,” I told my sister. “I didn’t lose more than a year or two off my life span, I’m sure.” I mock shuddered. “Remember those little girls in
The Shining
?”

Hannah laughed and delivered a punch to my shoulder. I turned to Brynne. “Morning, baby. I seem to have a little monkey on my back.” It felt good to be playful for a change.

“Oh, I’m sorry but we’ve not met before. I wonder if you might’ve seen my boyfriend around?” she asked. “Name’s Ethan Blackstone. A very serious fellow, rarely smiles and most certainly doesn’t tear around historic mansions shouting and crashing into walls with little monkeys on his back.” She tickled Zara’s ear and made her giggle some more.

“Nope. That bloke’s not around here. We left him back in London.”

She held her hand out. “I’m Brynne, nice to meet you,” she said with a straight face.

Hannah snorted behind me and peeled the still bouncing Zara off my back while I caught Brynne’s offered hand to my lips for a kiss. I glanced at her expression and saw a glassy look in her eyes as she smiled and rolled her lips together. Those lips. She did magical things with those lips . . .
Mine.

Hannah tapped me on the shoulder from behind. “You look like my brother, and your voice sounds the same, but you’re definitely not him.” She held out her hand. “Hannah Greymont. Who are you?”

I laughed at her and rolled my eyes. “
You need to have some fun, E. Go out more and meet people. Relax and enjoy life a little,
” I said, mocking the words I’d heard from my sister on more than one occasion.

“Don’t get me wrong, I like seeing you horsing around and laughing like this.” Hannah held up a hand and gestured at me. “Just give me a minute to take it all in.”

“You’ll get used to it,” I said to Hannah while drawing an arm around Brynne and kissing her temple, breathing in the flowery scent of her shampoo. She always smelled so good to me. “How are you feeling this morning, baby?”

“I feel great.” She shook her head. “I don’t know what that was last night, but I feel totally fine today.” She took a drink from her mug. “Hannah makes a mean cup of coffee.”

“Yes she does,” I said, going over to pour myself some. “Have you eaten?”

“No. I waited for you.” Her eyes looked more brown than anything this morning. And she had a look in them that told me she wanted to discuss things. Fine with me. We had a lot to talk about. I had some convincing to do.
Bring it.

“You didn’t have to wait for me . . . but I have an idea, if you’re interested,” I said, returning to her side with my mug of coffee, from which delicious-smelling steam was rising.

“What’s that, strange-man-who-resembles-my-boyfriend-but-can’t-possibly-be-him?” She teased me in a way that made me want to throw her over my shoulder and head back upstairs to our bedroom.

“Such funny ladies you all are this morning,” I said, giving each of them a look, including the five-year-old. “Where are all the men? I am seriously outnumbered here.”

“Scout thing. They’ll be home after lunch,” Hannah told me.

“Ahh, I see.” I turned back to Brynne. “You fancy a run along the sea path? It’s really beautiful and there’s a café down there where we can get something after.”

Her whole face changed into something indescribable, a mixture of beauty and happiness.

“Sounds perfect. I’ll just go change quickly.” She backed up and sailed out of the room with a grin. I loved when she was happy, and especially when I did something that made her that way.

“I want to come,” Zara said.

“Oh, princess, we’re running too far for you to come with us this morning.” I crouched down to face her again.

“You promised we could take Rags and get—” Zara did not look happy with her Uncle Ethan. Not at all. It did funny things to my insides too. Unhappy little girls were frightening as hell. Big girls too, for that matter.

“I know,” I cut her off and peeked up at Hannah, who rolled her eyes at me with arms folded. “We’re going in the afternoon. Remember I told you . . .” I whispered in her ear, “Ice creams are for the afternoon time, princess. Mummy’s watching us. You better go play with your dollies or something so she doesn’t get suspicious.”

“Okay,” she whispered back loudly, “I won’t say you’re taking me and Rags to get an ice cream in the afternoon time.”

I laughed silently and kissed her on the forehead. “Good girl.” I felt pretty proud of myself for handling that little problem so well. Zara waved good-bye as she went off to play and I gave her a big wink. I leaned back on my heels and looked up into the mocking gaze of my sister.

“You are nearly unrecognizable to me, Ethan. You have it bad, don’t you?”

I pushed up to my feet and reconnected with my coffee mug, talking a hot gulp before I addressed her comment. “It’s just ice cream, Han.”

“I’m not talking about you sneaking sweets to Zara, and you know it.”

I pegged her in the eye and told my sister, “Yeah. I have it bad.”

Hannah smiled sweetly at me. “I’m happy for you, E. Hell, I’m thrilled to see you like this. Happy . . . you’re happy with her.” Hannah’s gray eyes got watery.

“Hey, what’s this?” I pulled her into a hug.

She embraced me hard. “Happy tears. You deserve it, E. I wish Mum were here to see you like this . . .” Hannah trailed off, obviously choked up.

I looked over at the photograph on the shelf of the three of us together, Hannah, me and Mum sitting on the stone wall at my grandparents’ place. “She is right here,” I said.

4

♥
E
than led me along a high coastal path that overlooked the sea at the Bay of Bristol with its sparkling blue water winking a million shiny breaks due to the wind. We followed that for a good while until the trail turned back inland. The sun was shining and the air was fresh. You’d think all the physical exertion would clear out my scattered thoughts, putting them into some semblance of order, but no such luck on that one. Nope. My mind just kept whirling.
Engagement announcement? Moving in together? Marriage?!
I so needed to schedule an appointment with Dr. Roswell for the moment we got back to London.

As I watched Ethan ahead of me, the way he moved, his natural agility and stealth, his physique of ripped muscles propelling his body forward, I still appreciated the view.
My guy, my view.
Yep, the scenery
and
my man were both mighty fine.

I did indeed love it here and was happy he’d brought me, in spite of the turn our conversation took last night. Ethan had come downstairs this morning cheerful and affectionate, as if we’d never discussed a thing of importance last night. It was truly infuriating as hell to me that he could just blow off something like getting married as if it was nothing more complicated than getting a license to drive a car!

I liked when he ran with me, though. We went together in the city when I stayed over and if it didn’t rain in the mornings. Ethan kept a competitive pace and I hoped he wasn’t going easy on me just because he could.

As the path wound along the coast it began to descend down to the shore and the beach below until we came out into a rocky headland. Ethan turned back and gave me a cover model smile that never ceased to affect me when he did it. He had a magnificent smile that made my insides gooey. It meant he was happy.

“You hungry?” he asked as I pulled up.

“Yes I am. Where are we going?”

He pointed to a tiny gazebo-shaped building perched right on the rocks. “The Sea Bird. Great breakfasts served up in that little place.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” He took my hand in his and brought it up to his lips, kissing the top quickly.

I smiled up at him and studied his handsome face. Ethan was easy on the eye, but it was funny to me that he didn’t seem to think much of it. I wanted to know about that woman, Priscilla, from the night before. I know he had hooked up with her at some point in the past; he said as much:
“We went out one time together.”
It didn’t take a genius to figure he’d taken her up on some freely offered sex. She had her paws all over him at the bar. I didn’t like the looks of her at all. Too predatory. Paul seemed interested, though. I saw them outside on the curb together after the National was evacuated.

“What’s on your mind, my beauty?” Ethan tapped me on the tip of my nose. “I can see the cogs turning under here.” He kissed my forehead.

“A lot of things.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“I think we should.” I nodded. “I think we don’t have any other choice, Ethan.”

“Yeah,” he answered, his eyes losing the happy spark that had just been in them.

The red-haired waitress eyeballed him thoroughly as she seated us by a window, something I had grown used to when out with Ethan. Females didn’t hide their appreciation very well I was always left wondering how the person would act or what they would say to him if I wasn’t there. Hah!
Here’s my number if you want to come over to my place and have some quick and dirty sex. I’ll do anything you want.
Gag.

He waited until she left and then got right to it. “So . . . back to our conversation last night. Are you feeling any more receptive to the idea?”

I took a sip of water first. “I think I’m still in shock that you want to . . .” I hesitated.

“You don’t have to be afraid to say the words, Brynne,” he bit back, no longer looking so happy with me.

“Fine. I can’t believe you are willing to ‘
marry
’ me.” I made air quotes and saw his jaw twitch.

“Why does it surprise you?”

“It’s way too soon and we’re just starting out together, Ethan. Can’t we just keep going like we have been?”

His expression hardened. “We are continuing on like we have been. I don’t know where you think we’re headed, but I can assure you it’ll be somewhere where we are together.” He narrowed his eyes and glared a little. “All in, Brynne, or did you forget so soon? You said you wanted the same thing last night.”

I could tell he was more than a little frustrated with me. “I didn’t forget,” I whispered and looked over the menu in front of me.

“Good.” He picked up his own menu and didn’t say anything for a minute or two. The waitress came back over eventually and made the ordering of our breakfasts pretty sickening as she flirted with Ethan throughout the whole torturous process.

I rolled my eyes when she turned and sauntered off.

Ethan kept his eyes on me, never wavering, as he spoke, “When are you going to understand that I don’t care about women like that waitress and how she just tried flirting with me while you were sitting right here. It was in poor taste and I loathe it. Stuff like that has been happening all my adult life and I can tell you truthfully that it’s annoying as hell.” He reached across the table and picked up my hand. “I only want one woman to flirt with me now, and you know who she is.”

“But how can you be so sure about something as important as marriage?” I went right back to our topic.

He started rubbing his thumb over the top of my hand—touching me in more ways than just the sensual gesture. “I’ve decided what I want with you, baby, and my mind’s not changing.”

“You know this. You know you’ll never change your mind about me or wanting to be with me.” I said them as slightly mocking statements, but they were really questions posed to him. Hell, if he was offering then I had to hear the
why
of things. “I don’t have any good examples to draw on. My parent’s marriage was a joke.”

“I won’t change
my
mind, Brynne.” He narrowed his eyes and I could see some hurt there. “You’re everything I want and need. I’m sure of that. I just want to make it official to the world so I can protect you in the best way I know how to. People have married for much less.” He looked down at our hands and then up at me again. “I
love
you.”

My heart melted under the blast of intensity coming off him, and I felt like a mean bitch again. Here he was baring his feelings, telling me how much I meant to him, and I was giving him a hard time.

“I know you do and I love you too.” I nodded and twisted my hand to hold on to his, meaning my words with all my heart. “I do. Nobody else has ever got that out of me before . . . but you.”

“Good.”

He looked vulnerable then and I wanted to reassure him, make him feel that he mattered to me. Because the truth was, Ethan did matter. So very much. I stroked the top of his hand with a finger, brushing it back and forth.

The past twenty-four hours had been so insane, I was merely trying to keep up. What Ethan was suggesting did make me feel pressured, but he also made me feel loved. He was a good man willing to make a commitment to me, and only asking for the same in return. Why was I having so much trouble with it? The truth was something I pretty much understood even if I hated to acknowledge it by digging down deep into my psyche. Being with Ethan forced me to examine my demons.

“I’ll move in with you. How’s that for a start?”

“It’s just that—a start,” he said dryly. “I told you that part wasn’t negotiable anyway.”

“I know. You tell me a lot of things, Ethan.” I couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of my voice but I smiled at him sitting across from me in all his male beauty, so confident and assured.

He grinned back at me. “And I mean every word of what I say.”

The waitress appeared with our food just then, giggling and leaning over the table in a disgusting display that made my stomach turn. Literally. The eggs and bacon set out in front of me suddenly didn’t look so appealing either. I reached for the toast first.

I couldn’t help rolling my eyes again as she strutted off, hips swinging for maximum effect. Ethan gave me a soft laugh and an air kiss.

“Let’s talk some more about this plan of yours when we get back to London, okay? I want to enjoy our time here together this weekend and forget about that message last night, and have some fun.” I couldn’t resist adding in just a little snark: “Not that watching women throw themselves at you is fun for me or anything.”

He laughed a little harder. “Welcome to my world, baby. Hell, if it helps my cause by getting you jealous, maybe I should encourage the admiring females a little more.” He gestured in the waitress’s direction.

I glared at him. “Don’t even think about it, Blackstone.” I nodded toward his crotch. “It so won’t help your cause or getting you more of what you like.”

He bit off the end of a piece of bacon and ignored my threat, sweeping over me with sexy, slow eyes. “I like the jealous you
very
much. It turns me on,” he said in a low tone.

What
doesn’t
turn you on?
I felt the tingle of arousal flutter through me as he raked me over with another look. Ethan could get me hot for him with just the slightest gesture. I noticed how his muscles flexed under his shirt and I wanted to tear it off and proceed with licking down his beautiful carved chest, down farther over his stomach and that V cut that ended in that most magnificent—”

“What are you thinking about now?” he asked with a brow twist, interrupting my wicked fantasies.

“How much I like to go running with you,” I countered, proud of my pithy comeback when I’d so obviously been caught shamelessly ogling him worse than the redhead who’d served our meal had done.

“Right,” he said, totally unconvinced. “I think you were dreaming about getting me naked and having a shag.”

I was horrified and stared down at my food, wondering why I was so sexed out these days. My hormones must be wacky again. All. His. Fault.

“Speaking of dreams . . .” I figured this was a good time to change the subject and let my comment hang in the air between us for a moment.

His eyes turned dark and he frowned. “Yeah, I had another one. I’m very sorry for disturbing you in your sleep. I really am. I don’t know why I’ve started having them after all this time.”

“I want to know what those dreams are about, Ethan.”

He tried his own brand of distraction by changing the conversation again. “But you’re right, baby, I shouldn’t have brought up the let’s-get-married thing like I did on the fly. It wasn’t nice to unload that on you in the middle of the night, even if I am still convinced it’s our best option. We can talk some more about it when we get back to town and you’ve moved into the flat. I already told you the whole scene last night at the National Gallery freaked me out.” He shook his head slowly. “When I couldn’t find you . . . it was the worst, Brynne. I can’t go through that again. My heart can’t take it.”

I stared at him, frustrated by being shut down again, and stiffened my stance. “Why won’t you talk to me about your nightmares?
My
heart can’t take
that.
”

His gaze flickered down and then back up. He whispered with pleading eyes, “When we get back home. Promise.” He played with my hand, tracing my knuckles ever so gently. “Let’s just have nice time together for the weekend like you said, without bringing any of the ugly stuff into it. Please?”

How could I say no? The look of dread all over him was enough for me to give him a reprieve. A few more days wouldn’t matter without knowing. I did know this much, though, whatever events Ethan had suffered through had been truly horrible, and it pained me to even imagine it. He said it was from his time in the war and I remembered Neil’s words to me once:
“E’s a walking miracle, Brynne.”

Yeah, he’s a miracle all right. My miracle.

  ♦   ♦   ♦

Our return to the house took a different path, as Ethan wanted to show me around. This way was far less strenuous, for which I was grateful; for some reason I was feeling tired again. I felt a flush as I realized why. Lots of sex action last night. Another miracle considering I’d begun and ended the evening by barfing. Ugh. Ethan had been so good to me, though. He really was a considerate and attentive man, with very fine manners for not having grown up with a mother. I’d have to thank his father, Jonathan, for doing such a good job when I saw him again.

The area turned more wooded as we shifted away from the coast. Leaves of green filtered the sun through the branches to make patterns of shadows and light on the ground. The whole place was so peaceful, the little graveyard tucked away under some very old oak trees felt like a good place to stop for a while. The cemetery looked like something out of a gothic novel, all overhanging branches and ornate headstones.

Ethan waited for me to catch up at the gate and extended his hand. As soon as I touched him, he drew me up close against his body, enfolding me. “You want to look around in there and have a bit of a break? I figured you might because you like history so much.”