Facing Redemption (14 page)

“You wouldn’t take any of my calls.  I didn’t know how to approach you, and I thought a public place would be best.”

Anne silently simmered and didn’t care how she looked anymore.  She slowly lifted her head.  Brent could see the dark circles under her eyes and was plagued with more guilt. 
Those are because of me,
he thought.  And for a second he had hope. 
She still cares.

“You thought wrong!”  She shoved the present back toward him.

“Anne, I was stupid.”

“Really?”

“Take this.  I love you and I want you to have it.”  He gently pushed the gift back.

“What is it?  Is it a gift from the heart or a gift out of guilt?”

“Well - both.”

“Well I would have accepted a gift from the heart … a while back.  And as far as the second, a gift out of guilt … it’s too late!  Leave me alone.”  Anne stood up.  She turned her back on Brent trying to get the courage to walk away.

“Anne wait!  You don’t want to do this.”  He urged and tried to reach for her.

She turned and took a step back, staying out of reach.  “You’re right I don’t.   But I won’t be with someone who didn’t want just me either.  I can’t be with someone who doesn’t just give me gifts from the heart.”

She took a deep breath and turned to walk out.  Brent quickly circled the counter to stop her but ran into Jim.

“You heard her.”  Jim said looking down to Brent.  Jim must have had six inches and fifty pounds on Brent.  “She said leave her alone.”

“Stay out of this Jim.  It’s between me and her.”

“It’s between me and you now.  You really want to start that battle?”

Anne heard Jim’s gruff tone from the kitchen and almost giggled, if it weren’t for the fact that she was crying too hard to do so.  She also heard the sound of Brent’s feet walking out the door and the door slamming behind him.  This made her cry even harder.

The next thing she felt were strong arms circling around her.  Jim lifted her up and set her on the couch in the back office. 

“I put up the closed sign at the door.  You should take the whole day.”

“But there’s the lunch rush to clean up after,” she blurted between tears.

“No.  There is only you to take care of.  My wife and I can take care of clean up.  You get yourself cleaned up.  Just go home and take care of you.”

Anne looked up with grateful eyes.  Although his face was blurry as tears continued to flow, she knew he was smiling down with pity.  She hated to be pitied.

She sat up, dried her eyes, and drew in a breath.  “I’m fine.  Let’s do this.  I will get this cleaned up.”

“Anne.”  Jim protested.

“No, I’ve left you in a lurch for days and you were shorthanded today.  And for what?  Brent?  No!  I’m cleaning up.”  Anne said while picking up the remaining glasses from the counter and walked to the kitchen.  “Then I’ll call Chastity and have me time.”  Anne lied.

“Okay,” he resigned.  “You’re the boss.”

“Then get to work.”  She said almost too harshly and instantly felt bad for it, but Jim knew she wasn’t being hard on him.  He knew the only person Anne was trying to beat up at the moment was herself. 

Anne felt like such a fool to have trusted Brent.  And on top of that, she’d been avoiding calling Chastity to divulge her pain.  There was too much to tell Chastity and she wasn’t sure how to do it.

Jim left her to clean the back of the restaurant while he picked up the front.

“And Jim?”  She yelled from back.

“Yes.” 

Anne peeked her head out from the kitchen. “Thank you.”

He smiled in return and started gathering dishes.

Chapter 22

Jesse watched his wife and son walk hand-in-hand, down the driveway from his window.  Lauri put him in a friend’s car and sent Alex off for a sleepover.  It wasn’t often they had alone time together, and now he’d have the night alone with his wife.

             
This usually was a time to relax and enjoy each other’s company.  On a normal Friday evening they’d go to dinner, maybe a movie, and then come home for a glass of wine.  Tonight though, he wasn’t able to concentrate on lighthearted banter with Lauri.  He wasn’t even looking forward to a night out.

             
As Alex drove off with his best friend’s family, Jesse let the curtain slide back into place.  His eyes diverted to the stack of letters on the table next to his recliner.  Over the last few days, he’d been reading them one by one.  And now the attention he should be paying to his wife tonight would be spent pondering over what was revealed in the letters before him. 

             
Jesse sat down and reached for the stack.  He pulled at the rubber band he’d carefully placed back around the envelopes, and started to tug it off.

             
“Again?”  Lauri gently asked as she slipped in unnoticed.

             
Jesse looked up with regret.  “I know we should be getting ready to go out tonight.”

             
“It’s our regular date night.  And Chastity’s in town too.”  She sadly smiled but still held understanding in her eyes.  “But I know you wouldn’t keep very good company tonight.”  Lauri tried to lighten the mood.
             

             
Jesse wasn’t sure he should be mad at his brother for getting to him through the letters or angry at himself for not getting in touch with his brother long before the letters.

             
“Want to talk?”  She slowly sat down on the arm of Jesse’s chair.

             
He slid his arm around her and pulled her on his lap. In an effort to take his mind off his brother, he drew his wife into an embrace.

             
Lauri kissed him back with equal fervor but slowly drew back.  She took his face in hers and pulled his head to her chest.  She ran her fingers through his hair.

             
“I love you.”

             
“I love you too.  I’m sorry I’ve not been with it for the last few days.”

             
Lauri chuckled.  “The last few days?”

             
He smiled and looked back up into her eyes.  She was everything to him. 

             
“You just let me know what you need.”  She reassured him.

             
“I need to understand my brother.  I thought I had him pegged, but these letters have turned everything upside down.  And now … I don’t know.”  He sighed and leaned his head back.

             
“You’re afraid to trust what’s in them because it may make him human and worth forgiving?”

             
“Yes.”

             
“You’re also angry.  You want to be angry at him and these letters have maybe stolen that right away from you a bit?”

             
“Yes!  Have you read them?”  Jesse asked confused.

             
“No.”

             
“Then how do you know?”

             
“I can read you.”  Lauri said standing up. “For years all I’ve heard is how your brother has never been accountable for anything … how he always got away with everything … how your father favored him.”  

             
Jesse leapt up and started pacing the floor, while Lauri settled into his chair.

             
“I know the anger you’ve held for him, and how unhealthy that’s been for you.  I know you lump your dad and brother together and hold them accountable for everything they ought to be punished for.”

             
“No, I never thought they should be punished.  Well John, as of recent discovery for what he did to Kylie – Yes!  But I never needed them to suffer for anything.”

             
Lauri knew to tread lightly.  She put her hands out to stop his pacing and lead him back to sit down.  She snuggled back into his lap.

             
“I know you would never want them to suffer.  But you’ve suffered in silence all these years … from the abandonment that was caused by your mother’s death, and then by your father’s withdrawal and rapid change.  And by your brother’s need for attention and constant trouble making.”

             
Jesse’s eyes welled up, but Lauri continued, “Honey, you’re a strong man.  No one can take that away from you.  But it takes a stronger man to forgive.  It is not your place to hold all this anger … it will eat away at you.  It already has. If these letters can provide some insight to your brother’s condition than maybe it’s a way for you to let go of some of that.”  She drew his face into her hands and stared into his troubled eyes.  “Maybe you need to.”

             
“I don’t know Lauri.  After what he did to Kylie?”

             
“I agree that raping Kylie was the worst of the worst, but maybe he’s been punishing himself all these years.  What do the letters say?  Do you mind me asking?”

             
Jesse sighed, dragging his hand through his hair.  He picked up the stack again.  “I could read them to you?”

             
“No you don’t have to.  Just talk to me.  Tell me an overview.”

             
“They are to Chastity of course, and so I felt like I was prying at first.  But she was very agreeable to my reading them.  I started with just one, but then I was too hooked not to read the rest.”
             
“Okay?”

             
“The letters basically go through John’s life since Kylie.  John seems to truly regret the decision that night.  He doesn’t ask for forgiveness really, not in the first one.  He sounds truly apologetic but wants Chastity to know he holds no excuse for who he was.  He writes that he knows he was a monster and every moment since then he’s made an effort to be a better man.”

             
“And do you think he is?”  Lauri paused.  “A better man?”

             
“I don’t know.  I’ve not talked to him but a handful of times in our adult lives.  And every time we were forced to spend time together through family obligations, he was always so reserved.  I just thought he was being a brat and punishing me by not talking to me, but after reading these letters and looking back … I just don’t know.”

             
“Maybe he was trying to sort out himself which left him nothing to talk about.  Maybe he wasn’t sure who he was, and felt no need to delve into it with …”

             
Jesse finished her train of thought, “With someone who was overly critical of him?”

             
“Yes,” she agreed.

             
“I’m exhausted.”  Jesse closed his eyes.

             
“Let’s table this for now,” Lauri suggested. She took the letters away from him and pulled him to his feet.

             
Jesse wrapped his arms around her, as Lauri pulled him in. 

             
“I love you babe,” she murmured between kisses.

             
Jesse breathed her in.  “Ditto.”

             
The two laced hands and walked to their room.  There would be no more talking for the rest of the evening.

Chapter 23

Timothy squeezed Chastity’s hand before walking her up to the front door.  He almost felt sorry for her.  She looked like she could bolt back to the car at any moment.  He laughed softly and leaned over to kiss her cheek.

             
“Breathe,” he reminded her.

             
Chastity let out a deep breath, and closed her eyes.  He waited for her to shake it off before taking the steps up to the front porch. 

             
“I can do this. Sure no problem,” she was muttering.

             
Timothy laughed.  “The only thing you have to worry about is my mom talking your ears off.”  That seemed to do the trick, because Chastity visibly relaxed some.

             
He opened the door and pulled her behind him.

             
“Mom!  We’re home!”  Timothy yelled.  He stopped and waiting for a response.  “That’s weird.”