Faded (Rock Star Trilogy) (11 page)

“Really?” I ask, annoyed. He just shrugs.

These guys are worse than the paparazzi
.

I walk up the stairs, and knock
on Stacy’s door. I hear somebody inside yell, “I got it!”

The door swings open, and a little girl who looks just like Stacy opens the door. She has the same color of brown hair as Stacy, but her eyes are gray, not like Stacy
’s blue eyes. She has freckles spread across her cheeks and nose. Her mouth drops open when she sees me, and then she starts screaming.

“MOM! OH MY GOD!”
she yells. “YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHO IS HERE!”

I can’t help but laugh. When Stacy was a kid, she was very excitable too. Anna is so much like her, and it’s awesome to see.

Anna turns to me. “I AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN! Seriously, I have all your songs on my iPod, and I know ALL the words to like every song you sing!”

Stacy comes up behind Anna, and puts her hands on her
shoulders. “Inside voice. You don’t want the neighbors to call the cops.”

“Sorry, Mom! But
THE
Scarlett Ryan is here!” Anna lets out a little squeal and turns to me. “
Why are you here
? This is the best day of my life!”

Stacy laughs. “Maybe if you’d let Scarlett inside, she could explain why she’s here.”

“Right! Scarlett, please come in.” Anna opens the door so I can walk inside. And of course, the cameras follow. Anna seems excited. “Am I going to be on TV?”

“Yes, you are
.”

“COOL!”

At least
somebody
thinks it’s cool.

We all sit down in the living room. It’s a decent
-sized room. From the outside, I definitely expected it to be smaller. There is a worn, black sectional that we all take a seat on. A small, flat screen TV hangs on the wall, along with a ton of pictures of Anna. It hurts to see the younger pictures of her. I wish I could have seen her grow up. I feel sick to have missed out on it all.

I look at Stacy, who is looking at me.

“You should explain,” I tell Stacy.

Stacy inhales a deep breath. I can tell she’s not sure exactly how to start. “Well, Ann
a…
Scarlett is my little sister, which makes her your aunt.”

“Shut up, no she’s not
!” Anna laughs. “I think I would know if
Scarlett
Ryan
was
my
aunt
.”

“It’s true,” I tell her.

“Then why haven’t you visited me before?” She asks me, and then turns to her mom. “And why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well, Scarlett and
I were separated about ten years ago, and I haven’t been able to get hold of her, and she didn’t know where I was,” Stacy answers sadly.

“Is that why you sometimes cry when you hear her on the radio?”

“Yeah.”

“But not anymore, right?”

Stacy shakes her head. “Nope. Not anymore.”

Anna then turns to me. “Wait until my friends hear about this! Scarlett Ryan is my
aunt
! And I’m going to be on TV. I’m going to be so popular! So, why are you on TV?”

“It’s a long story
.” I laugh. “But the short version is
Alec
Torch
is
evil
. The camera guys showed up at my house one day, and they wouldn’t leave.”

“Do I get to meet Alec Torch, too?”

“Yes, definitely. He’s my best friend, so I’m sure you will get to meet him sometime soon.”

“I saw pictures of you two kissing on the Internet. Is he your boyfriend?” She giggles, and I can’t help but laugh too.

“No. He’s
definitely
not
my boyfriend. But I do have a boyfriend, and you will get to meet him soon.”

“Who is your boyfriend?”

“Stephan Montgomery. I go to school with him.”

She crinkles her nose. “You go to school?”

“Most of the time, yes,” I answer.

“Is Stephan cute?”

“Yes, very. He has dark hair, green eyes that sparkle, and a super gorgeous smile.” I try to keep my description of Stephan as PG as possible. I’m not sure what’s appropriate in front of a nine year old, but I’m pretty sure calling his smile “panty-dropping” would be very inappropriate.

“She’s kind of at the boy crazy stage,”
Stacy informs me, shaking her head. “I’m hoping she outgrows it soon.”

“When I was nine, mom and dad had me so busy that I didn’t have time to even think about boys.”

“I remember.”

“I want to be a rock star too,” Anna says.

I feel excited that my niece wants to be like me. It’s the ultimate compliment. “Well, boys have to take a backseat to your career. You’d have to spend a
lot
of time practicing. It takes a lot of dedication.”

She shrugs. “My mom is 26, and she doesn’t have a boyfriend. I can wait a few years. Being a rock star is way cooler than having a boyfriend anyway!”

Stacy mouths “thank you” to me, and I laugh.

“Good idea, Anna
.” I nod approvingly. “I think you’d make a great rock star.”

The rest of the night is awesome. Anna shows me her room, which is very yellow. She also has three different posters of me on the wall. I sign them for her. She sa
ys she doesn’t
need
my autograph, since I am her aunt, but that she still wants it so she could make all her friends jealous.

Stacy cook
s dinner. I guess being a mom makes you a better cook, because I remember she used to be a terrible cook. But she makes spaghetti, and it is amazing. I’m guessing she made it because my favorite food as a kid was spaghetti. We once had it every day for a whole month.

After dinner, we play a few board games, and when it
is Anna’s bedtime I go home. I promise Anna I will be back as soon as I can. I tell her I will try to come trick or treating with her on Halloween.

Once I g
et home, I go straight to bed. Tomorrow, Barry is coming to Hope, and I know that it is going to be a long day.

Wednesday, October 29

5:52
AM

Be the sl
utty dressed version of you.

I woke up at 4:30 this morning and was unable to go back to sleep. I was much too anxious for my meeting. So I got up, took a shower, and then began curling my hair with my curling iron. I took my time, curling small sections at a time. I wanted to look perfec
t…
Really, I just wanted the day to be
perfect
.

After I finish my hair, I g
et dressed. I put on my favorite little black dress. The designer custom-made it for me for an award ceremony, but they put me in a different dress at the last minute. I hated the dress my dad made me wear.

After getting ready, I head downstairs. It
isn’t even six yet, but Alec and Bridgett are both awake. They are drinking coffee. I walk to the fridge and grab a Red Bull.

“Wow. You look hot,” Alec says. “Great choice. Barry is such a perv. He’ll love it.”

The dress is
really
short, and Alec is right. Barry will love it.

“Now, Bridge, we need to pick you out something equally as sexy.”

Bridgett spews coffee out of her mouth and coughs. “No freaking way. I could never pull off something like that. Scarlett is the hot twin.”

Alec rolls his eyes at her. “What part of
identical twins
do you not get? You’re both hot. Wear something short and tight. Oh, and flirt with Barry. He’s totally gross, but we want this to go well for Scarlett.”

“If he tries to touch you, just jokingly push him away,” I tell her. “And don’t be alarmed if he propositions you. That’s just Barry.
He thinks any girl will sleep with him if he offers them enough money.”

Bridgett moans. “Today is going to suck, isn’t it?”

Alec and I both say “Yes” at the same time.

“Just be yoursel
f…
Only the slutty dressed version of you,” Alec tells her.

“Be slutty
.” She gulps. “Got it.”

Alec busts out laughing. “The word slut should never leave your lips. You’re so innocent. It’s just wrong.”

“I should have never told you I was a virgin,” she complains. “I’m going to find a random guy to sleep with so you will stop making fun of me.”

“No,” Alec and I both respond.

“Losing your virginity should be special. It needs to mean something.”

Whoa. Did
those words seriously just come out of Alec Torch’s mouth?

“That’s not what you told me. Remember? I was
sixteen. You told me
just do it, and get it over with
. So I did. And it sucked.” I shake my head. “Worst advice ever.”

“I was
eighteen and horny. I figured you’d want to lose it to me.” Alec shrugs. “I’m glad you didn’t though. I could never be a friend to somebody I slept with.”

I roll my eyes. “And you expect me to trust you around my virgin sister?
”

“
Puh-lease!” Bridgett butts in. “As if I’d ever give my virginity to Alec. He probably has more STD’s than a truck stop toilet.”

I can’t help it. I bust out laughing. I’d never heard that reference before, but she was probably right.
Alec has been with a lot of girls. I hope he is tested regularly.

“I am clean, thank you very much.”
Alec crosses his arms over his chest.

I love listening to Alec and Bridgett. They sort of remind me of Stephan and
me when we first became friend
s…
The love-hate relationship they have going on is very entertaining.

The doorbell rings at seven
AM sharp. It’s Peter and the rest of the camera crew. Stephan comes over at 7:30 to wish me luck for the day.

Yeah, I kno
w
… Stephan is the sweetest boyfriend ever.

“I wish I could be there with you,” he says sadly. “Keep me updated via text. I know it will all work out perfect, but I will be anxious until I hear you say it’s approved.”

“I really wish you could come too. But you’re right.
Everything will be fine
. Why wouldn’t it be?” My stomach is in knots as I say the words, and I can’t help but worry. What if everything
isn’t
fine? Will my own record company reject me? I mean, I suppose it’s possible.

“I better get to school,” he tells me, and then kisses me on the cheek. “Break a leg.”

Breaking a leg is a definite possibility in these five-inch heels
.

“Thanks.”

Peter has the camera up in my face as I watch Stephan walk toward his car. I wish that I was going with him, but right now, I really want to break Peter’s camera. I glare at him.

“Scarlett, it’s good television. We want it all
— love, hate, anticipation, stress, heartbrea
k…
We want to show the world the
real Scarlett Ryan
. To do that, we need to capture every moment possible on film. Besides, I can practically feel the heat coming off you two. Maybe you could give us a sexy kissing scene, one where Stephan carries you into your bedroom, and throws you onto the bed. We would leave before anything happened.”

Now I am imagining Stephan carrying me to my bed and having his way with me. “No way woul
d I let you record that! My sex life is personal!” And nonexistent, but he doesn’t need to know that.

Stephan and I
are at an impasse in our relationship. He won’t tell me he loves me, unless he’s sure I’m his future wife. We’re definitely way too young too young to think like that. And I won’t have sex with him until he tells me he loves me.

I think about Stephan and me staying together for years, exactly as we are. I would be so frustrated sexually. One of us is eventually going to have to cave, and it won’t be m
e. No matter how badly I want him.

9:00 AM

Pervy hugs

Barry meets Alec, Bridgett, and me at the studio. Otto is already there, and h
e has everything set up. When Barry gets there, I feel surprisingly calm. I am not feeling any doubt
s…
I’m
fucking Scarlett Ryan
! I can do anything.

“Hey, Barry,” I greet him. I reach out my hand to shake his, but instead he pulls me in for a tight hug. His hands are down way too low on my back.
I’m silently praying that he doesn’t try to grab my ass.

Barry is almost
sixty, but his gray hair is colored brown. You can tell he’s had a few facelifts. He tries way too hard to look younger than he is.

“So good to see you, Scarlett. We’ve missed you in LA. When are you coming back?”
he asks, as he releases me.

I try not to look too relieved that his awkwardly long hug is over. “I like it here,” I answer. “I will probably stay here as much as I possibly can, but after I graduate high school I’ll probably switch my time up between here and LA.”

“Oh, right.” He smirks. “High schoo
l…
You broke into the business at such a young age, sometimes I forget that you’re still a teenager.”

And I’m barely legal, you perv.
“Only for a little longer. I turn twenty next July.”

Barry turns towards Alec. “Alec, so good to see you again.” They shake hands, and then he turns toward Bridgett. I am silently praying he keeps his hands to himself when it comes to her. “Wo
w…
Who is this?”

“This is my twin sister, Bridgett. I found her a few months ago. Can you believe it?”

“You’ve done a great job of keeping her hidden from the press.” He shakes her hand. I’m so glad he didn’t give her one of his pervy hugs.

“Not for too much longer,” I tell him. “She is part of the MTV documentary.”

“Wow, Scarlett. You’re really doing great for yourself,” he says, obviously impressed. This was all set up by you three?”

“Well,
actually Bridgett and Alec worked out all the details for the documentary.”

“Speaking of, our producer really wants to film this. Is it alright with you if we do?” Alec asks.
“We really want to capture every moment we can.”

Barry nods. “Sure. Anything to help Scarlett’s career.”

I want to snort, but I refrain. Anything that helps my career helps fatten his pocketbook. Plus, this is free publicity for him. Why wouldn’t he be okay with it?

The camera crew comes in and sets
up while Peter has Barry sign a waiver. Afterward, Otto plays my music for Barry. He plays a fast tempo song first, and then he plays my ballad. I am completely amazed at my ballad. It sounds amazing, but I’m also starting to feel a little intimidated. Barry’s face is completely unreadable, and more than anything, I wish I could know what he’s thinking. After the songs are over, Barry turns to me.

“Scarlett, this is a lot different than what you have out there now.
I like it, but I’m not sure how your fans will react. Are you absolutely sure that this is the direction that you want to go in?”

I don’t have to think before responding. “
I am completely sure, Barry. This music is a part of me. I feel like I’ve been hiding too long.”

“Ok
ay. Well, I want to do a test run first. I want a hit singl
e…
You do your music your way,
one song only
at first. We will release it, and if it does well, you have free reign on this album.” He pauses, and I can tell there is a ‘
but’
coming. “But, if it is a flop, then you have to record what your fans have always liked. I will have your old producer oversee the album, of course. Does that sound fair to you?”

I really, really do
not
want to go back to LA and work with him. But I know that people will like this if they hear it. I have to believe in myself. “That does sound fair.”

“Good
. I will have my lawyer draw up a contract and send it to your lawyer. You should hear from me within the week.”

“Thank you.”

1:03
PM

Viral

After Barry leaves, Alec, Bridgett, and
I go to a local café to get some lunch and talk about my options.

“Do you guys think this is a good idea? If this is a flop, it means I will be stuck with Barry for another two years, at
least
. I’ll be miserable.” I sigh.

“But on the other hand,
what if people hear your music, they
love
it, and you have free reign? It’s every artist’s dream,” Alec argues. “And you
are
good enough. I have absolute faith in you. If you weren’t already under contract, my dad would sign you in a heartbeat.”

“If only there was
some way to be completely sure that the masses will like m
e…
”

Bridgett jumps in. “What would Bieber do?”

Alec and I both look at her and laugh.

“I’m serious. How did Justin Bieber have such a
HUGE
following before he could even get played on the radio? He had an amazing following on Twitter and YouTube. It’s all about social media,” she explains excitedly. “People want a rock star they can connect with. You just need to reach out to your fans more.”

I start to question her, but Alec jumps in. “That’s a great idea. Seriously, Scarlett, we could record you singing some of these songs with an electric guitar and post it online. We could get feedback before the album is even released.”

“I can’t post videos of anything that is going on the album. You know that,” I argue.

“True, but at least they could hear your new sound and get used to it. Plus, if enough people like it, Barry would totally let you put it on your album,” he starts getting excited.

“I just have to go viral.” I nod. “Okay. I can do this. After all, I
am
Scarlett Ryan.”

“Right,” Alec agrees.
“But first, we just need to record a hit song. It needs to be your best work yet.”

“I got this,” I say, but my voice isn’t very convincing.
The truth is I’m worried that I will end up stuck in the same ru
t…
But instead of my dad controlling me, it will be Barry controlling me.

But what if I do
this and everybody loves it?

I have to try, because I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering
what if
. This is my one shot, and I won’t let my own insecurities hold me back.

Alec turns towards Bridgett. “By the way, never, ever bring up Justin Bieber again.”

Bridgett laughs. “Sorry, he was the only artist I could think of that rose to fame because of social media.”