Faith (29 page)

The sun was coming up as Nicholas closed the door to his
bedroom. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he thought about
the past few hours and realized that Faith must think him
loco. No matter how hard he'd tried, words had failed him.
How could he tell her what was in his heart? How could he explain blind pride and what it does to a man when he fails
to turn it over to God? What kind of man takes a woman
on a long ride in the middle of the night and doesn't say a
word? Papa would have carried on a conversation, wooed
the woman he loved ... but he wasn't Papa. Had he caught
the same strange affliction that plagued Liza? He wasn't
good at expressing himself-with Faith, he was completely
inadequate.

He sat staring at the floor. He hadn't treated Faith respectfully. He had been too proud, too quick to judge. Papa
would never have treated Mama like he'd treated Faith.
He'd acted like a blind fool, let envy, jealousy, and pride
rule him. He should go to her, get down on his knees, and
confess his love, and ask her and God to forgive him for the
way he'd acted.

His mind churned. Why? Why couldn't he do that?
Please, Father, take away this horrible pride. Don't let inc lose
Faith.

He'd fallen in love with Faith. And he prayed to God that
she loved him back. That's what he'd wanted to tell her
tonight. For the first time in his adult life, he was in love.

Heaving a deep sigh, he ran his hands through his hair and
accepted the truth. He was deeply in love with Faith, and
he prayed that God would allow him to correct his mistakes, that it wasn't too late to win her love, to give her the
honor and respect she so justly deserved.

Springing off the bed, he threw open the door and yelled.
"Mama! Get up! I'm going to ask Faith Kallahan to marry
me!"

Slamming the door shut, he sat back down on the bed,
drawing a shaky breath.

After a while, a smile started at the corners of his mouth
and quickly spread to an ear-to-ear grin.

He amended his declaration silently. He was going to get
down on his knees and ask Faith Kallahan to marry him.

HAT had Nicholas tried to tell her? What
words did he find so impossible to say?

Faith packed her bags dispiritedly. The Irish linen was the
last item folded and tucked away in her satchel. The dress
was ruined, and the thought of Aunt Thalia seeing what had
happened to the once beautiful garment broke her heart.
Tears misted her eyes. She wished she had listened to wiseand-wonderful Aunt Thalia. Perhaps she would have been
spared the agony of the past two months.

Faith changed into the green paisley print and laced up
the pointy shoes. Studying her image in the mirror, she
shook her head. She would help at Dan's one last morning
before Jeremiah took her to catch the stage.

But could she face Dan looking this way? Her face was
blotched and swollen from crying and lack of sleep. Dipping a washcloth in the basin, she pressed the moist cloth against
her eyes. By the time she had hugged all the Finneys and
said her long good-bye to Mary Ellen, and Albert had
delivered her to Dan's house, the red was almost gone.

Faith sat at Dan's kitchen table, fortifying herself with
strong coffee.

One by one the children entered the kitchen. First Adam,
who begged her to stay in Deliverance. It was difficult to
explain the delicate situation to a boy so young and innocent of the world's heartaches.

Then Sissy climbed onto her lap, eyes filled with tears,
and pleaded with her not to go. Faith tried to comfort the
children, but it was impossible when her own heart cried
out to stay. Lilly made her presence known from her crib.
Faith went to get her, sitting back down at the kitchen table
to cradle the infant to her breast. She looked at Adam and
Sissy. "I'll write often. I promise."

"But I can't read," Adam said, shuffling his feet against the
oak floor.

"Me can't wead needer," Sissy sobbed.

"Well, your papa can read." Faith struggled to keep a
brave front. "He'll read my letters to you."

"It won't be the same as you being here," Adam said.

"No, not the same, but we can make a game of it. I'll
write each letter like a story."

"Don't want no story. Can't play no games with yew.
Yew be in Wishigan." Sissy sobbed harder.

Faith gathered the child in her arms. "Sissy, Michigan isn't so far away, not when you're right here in my heart. Each
of you will always be in my thoughts and in my prayers."

"No, me won't!" Sissy wiped her nose on the sleeve of her
gown. "Papa says me can't go out of the yarrd."

Faith laughed. "And you must always listen to your papa,
young lady. He wants to keep you safe."

Adam's lower lip trembled as he fought back tears. "I love
you, Faith."

"Me loves you too!" Sissy cried.

"And I love both of you, so very, very much. More than
you could ever know," Faith whispered. Baby Lilly made
cooing sounds as Faith held the infant close to her heart.

She was going to desperately miss Dan and the children.
She prayed someday, somehow, Adam would have an
opportunity to attend a school for the blind. Adam was
capable of so much. She wished she could have opened the
world to his eyes.

Around noon Jeremiah arrived in a buckboard. Dan and
she agreed there would be no good-byes at the depot. No
sense in making it any harder than it already was. But Dan
seemed at ease about the arrangements.

She sat solemnly next to Jeremiah as he drove the wagon
into town. Faith bit her lower lip, resigned that marriage to
Nicholas Shepherd, and the school for the blind, were not
God's will after all. She'd prayed until her lips were blue,
knelt until her knees felt callused, and the answer was either
no, not now, or wait. She wasn't sure which, but she felt
certain it wasn't the "wait." Once she returned to Michigan, she would never be back to Deliverance.

The vast countryside blurred as tears gathered in her
eyes. Everywhere she looked, there was something to
remind her of Nicholas. She passed the field where they'd
helped the mother cow birth her calf; charred grass,
reminders of the fire; Reverend and Mrs. Hicks's house.
She thought of the cattle drive; four failed attempts at
marriage. She saw the pond embankment behind the
church where she'd kissed Nicholas during the Founder's
Day celebration. Each crossroads reminded her of the previous night's strange ride. She wasn't sure which of the
many forks they had taken, but she felt certain they'd
encountered every last one of them.

The stagecoach was just pulling into town when Jeremiah
and Faith arrived. Already there was a good number of
people gathered at the station.

Faith still harbored the tiniest shred of hope that Nicholas
would be there, like a knight in shining armor, ready to
profess his unrequited love at the last possible moment. Her
eyes scanned the crowd, and her heart sank when she saw
his wasn't among the familiar faces.

"Faith, I wish you would give this more time," Jeremiah
said. "Are you sure you won't change your mind?"

"Oh, Jeremiah. We both know there's nothing in Deliverance for me. I've prayed about the situation, and it's clear
to me that if Nicholas doesn't want me, I need to go home.
Other than Dan and the children, there's no purpose for me
here." When Jeremiah opened his mouth to respond, she
stopped him with a quiet reminder: "I know Dan would
marry me today, but I don't love Dan."

"You didn't love Nicholas, but you came all the way here
to marry him," Jeremiah gently rebuked.

"But I love him now," she whispered. "That's the difference." Fresh tears swam to her eyes.

Jeremiah handed her a handkerchief. "Now, now. God
has a way of working things out in spite of his children's
hindrance."

Faith nodded, wiping her eyes. But she didn't think he
was going to work this one out to her satisfaction.

"Are you going to be all right?"

"Yes. Thank you. You've done so much for me. I'm
sorry about the school for the blind."

"Well, you tried, child." Jeremiah patted her hand.

Tears rolled in rivulets down her cheeks.

"Good land," he said as he tried to stem the flood with
the hanky. "Are we going to have to build an ark? If you
love the man that much, why don't you tell him?"

"Why don't you ..." she hiccuped, "tell Liza you love
her?"

Jeremiah paled. "I value my life."

"See." Faith took the handkerchief and cleared her eyes.
"I can't tell Nicholas I love him. He has to tell me."

"Is this a new rule I'm not aware of? The man must tell
the woman?"

Faith nodded.

"Huh." Jeremiah scratched his head. "I'd like to know
who makes these rules."

Jeremiah handed her bag to the stagecoach driver, then
came back to the buckboard for Faith.

"Are you sure?" His gentle eyes pleaded for her to stay.

Faith knew he hoped she would have a last-minute
change of heart. She wished she could. But if she stayed,
knowing the way she felt about Nicholas and the way he
didn't feel about her, she would only be hurting herself.

Helping her from the buckboard, Jeremiah walked her
to the stage. She smiled at the gathered townsfolk: Vera,
Lahoma, Oren Stokes, Molly, Etta, Reverend Hicks, Rollie
Zimmer. She frowned. What was Rollie doing here?

Rollie gave her a toothless grin, waving at her.

Faith waved back, then awaited her turn to board as passengers started to descend from the stagecoach.

A heavyset mother rocked the stage as she stepped down
with two rowdy children, calling out to her husband.
Obediently a tiny, thin man scurried through the crowd
to take her bags.

The second traveler to get out was a flamboyant-looking
man with shifty dark eyes and a long, black handlebar mustache. For a long time he stood by the stagecoach door,
scanning the crowd. He wouldn't be staying in Deliverance
long, Faith predicted. Even to her naive eyes, carpetbagger
was written all over him.

She looked closer when the last passenger departed. A
petite young woman stepped gracefully out the door, her
tiny foot daintily pausing on the step. Faith contrasted this
comely vision with her own unorthodox descent upon
Deliverance. She had been hot, disheveled, and riding
with Jeremiah on the back of his mule.

The young woman wasn't the least bit in disarray, although she must have been traveling for days. Her bustled
emerald dress made a striking contrast against her long,
copper-colored hair and almond-shaped eyes. Jade, Faith
noted. Her eyes were the color ofjade. The latest Paris hat
fashion shaded her delicate complexion from the harsh
Texas sun. Even the bonnet feathers were dyed to match
her gown, as were her suede shoes, pointed, Faith noticed.
She seemed to have no problem walking in them.

The beautiful stranger had "city girl" written all over
her. What did she expect to find in Deliverance? Jeremiah
helped Faith into the stagecoach and closed the door. "I'm
not very good at good-byes," he told her through the open
window.

"Neither am I." Faith's eyes welled. "Thank you for
everything."

Jeremiah nodded. "You write when you can."

"I promise."

"I need to move the buckboard. There's getting to be a
crowd." Jeremiah reached out and lightly brushed a knuckle
over her cheek. "Nicholas doesn't know what he's losing."
He nodded. "You take care of yourself."

Faith sniffled. "You too."

Jeremiah turned and walked away but not before Faith
caught a glimpse of the moisture suddenly misting the old
mans eyes.

She waited for the driver to climb aboard his seat. As she
waited, she stared out the window. The fashionable young
woman was anxiously searching the crowd, apparently
looking for someone.

Faith sat up straighter when she heard a ruckus break out
in the crowd. Peering to the far left, she saw Dan hurriedly
threading his way through the onlookers, his gaze anxiously
searching the area. Was he looking for her? They had
already said their good-byes....

Dan stepped into the clearing and even from her vantage
point, Faith saw his eyes lock on the beauty. The woman
broke into a radiant smile, and she ran to meet him.

As the implication of Dan's appearance hit Faith, her
hand came to her mouth. Heavenly days! Dan had ordered
a mail-order bride!

His inquiries had been so subtle, so minute, that she never
once suspected what he'd had in mind. But there was no
mistaking the look on the young couple's faces as they met
for the first time. In a moment the children were climbing
all over the woman. She didn't seem to mind, patiently
smiling at them and Dan.

Dan Walters looked like a besotted suitor.

Scooting back in the seat, Faith fumed. Liza's happy.
Nicholas is relieved to see inc go. Dan replaced inc before I'd even
left town. If she thought her heart was broken before, she felt
as if it might explode now.