Faithless (19 page)

The minute Riley left, I knew what I had to do.
First I needed to find her, and then I needed to tell her
everything.
I wasn't sure of where she would go at this time of
night, so I started at her hose. The entire place was pitch black, just the way
we left it. I quickly drove to my condo and ran inside.

"Grace, hurry. I need you."

"I'm here Tristan, I'm here. What do you
need?"

"Riley is missing. I need you to come with me
while I look for her."

"Of course. Let's go." She grabbed her
sweatshirt off of the back of the couch and we ran down to my idling car.

I took off like a bat out of hell, heading to
where, I wasn't sure. I thought of all the places that she could've gone. The
hospital, Mr. Rollins' office, the beach, and then it suddenly dawned on me.

"Where are we going?" Grace's small voice
echoed through the silent car.

"We're going to Riley."

"Do you know where she is?"

"I have a pretty good idea."

We drove for miles up the Pacific Coast Highway
before we finally reached the turn off for the cliff I had found Riley on mere
months ago. I wasn't absolutely sure that she would be here, but something in
my gut was telling me she was. When we reached the top of the cliff, my
headlights illuminated the only tree that sat up here and I saw Riley's bent
over darkened form at the edge of the cliff. My heart jumped into my throat and
I had a hard time even getting out of the car. My sister reached for my hand to
stop me.

"Grace, I have to go to her."

"I know you do, Tristan. I want you to go to
her. I want you to tell her everything and not just the simple stuff. Tell her
everything,
you hear me?"

"Yes Grace, I do."

"I'll be waiting."

I jumped out of the car and slammed the door shut
behind me. I ran with every ounce of energy I had left in me, until I reached
her. I slowed down as I inched closer, not wanting her to do anything stupid. I
wasn't sure what frame of mind she was in and I wasn't willing to lose her
again.

"Riley. Riley, please listen to me."

"Just leave me alone this time, Tristan.
Please."

"I can't do that, Riley?"

"Why not? You don't understand."

"I think I understand more than you think. And
I can't leave you alone, because, well, I love you Riley."

Her reddened eyes glanced up at me for just a brief
second before they were focusing on the view below her again. "You can't
possibly love me."

"But I do. I think I have loved you from the
first time I laid eyes on you."

"Nobody loves me, and why would they? I'm just
as broken as I've ever been. I tried to fool myself into believing that I
deserved love. That I deserved a chance to be happy, but let's face it, people
like me, don't deserve any of that."

I sat down a few feet away from Riley, not wanting
to scare her off. "Riley, you do deserve love and you deserve to be happy.
I love you more than even I thought possible. I love everything about you. I
love your strength, your courage, your heart, but most of all, I love the
person that you don't see in yourself. I need you, Riley. I need you more than
I need air to breathe. Don't you see, something bigger than the both of us
brought us together. It wasn't just your mom. There was a higher power that
truly saw what we found in one another. I know you care for me just as much as
I care for you. I can see it in your eyes when you look at me, when I make love
to you, and even when you think I'm not looking, I see the way you look at me
even then. We belong together, Riley."

She glanced over at me, but showed no emotion.
"I do love you, Tristan. I've loved you from the day I met you, but that
doesn't change the fact that you could never understand who I
really
am. I've lost all faith in
myself, in life, and even in people. Don't
you
see, I'm all out of faith."

"I don't believe that Riley. I've never seen
any one person have more faith in people than you. You had faith in London,
even when he had you bound and threatening to take your life. You still
believed that he was a good person and deserved to live." I turned towards
the car, trying to wave my sister out. I couldn't see through the bright
headlights as to where she was, but I continued to wave her out anyway.
"There's someone I want you to meet." I turned back to the car again,
"Grace, you can come out now." I waited and waited, but Grace never
came out of the car.

"Who? I don't see anyone there."

"Trust me, she's there. Grace, come here
please." I glanced back at the car one last time and realized that Grace
was no longer waiting for me inside the car. "Riley, there's something I
need to tell you. Some things I feel I need to explain. When I told you that I
understood you, I wasn't lying. I do, all too well I might add."

"How so?"

"Promise me you won't move. I'm coming over to
you. Promise me you won't jump."

I looked at Riley with all the faith in the world.
I prayed that when I stood to move close to her that she would still be there.
I slowly stood up and made my way over to Riley's side. I sat down right next
to her and reached out for her hands. "Riley, there's things about me that
you don't know. I want to tell you, but I need you to be a little bit open-minded
and not judge me. I need you to believe me and have faith that I won't ever leave
you, until you ask that of me. Can you do that for me?"

Riley nodded her head and I let our hands rest
together in my lap. "My father was a horrible person. He was never around
for Grace and me. Grace is my little sister. He was always wrapped up in work
or running around with his new flavor of the week. When my mom found out he was
cheating, she tried her damnedest to be the best parent she could be to my
sister and me. She never left our sides. She helped us with homework and after
school activities, sports and even Boy Scouts, for me. She was amazing, until
the day my sister went missing. Dad had called that night saying that he would
be late as usual. Mom made us dinner and we all sat around talking about our
days. My sister was only sixteen, she had just met a new boy and it was all she
could ever talk about. My mother listened as Grace went on and on about this
boy, and when dinner was done, my mother told me to keep an eye on Grace while
she ran some dinner to my father at his office."

I glanced down at Riley, making sure she was still
listening. "I'm listening Tristan. Please, go on."

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled
her in close to me. I could feel the tears welling up behind my eyes and I knew
that at any given moment, I was going to break down. Knowing that I had Riley
to hold onto made this bearable.

"My girlfriend and I had made plans that
night. I knew I was supposed to keep an eye on Grace, but she usually snuck out
to see her boyfriend anyways. So I left for a little bit. I told Grace I would
be back in about an hour and to stay put. When I got home an hour later, Grace
was gone. I scoured the entire house and yard looking for her. I even called
her stupid little boyfriend, but he said that he hadn't spoken to Grace since
earlier. After I exhausted all of my efforts at home, I decided it was time to
call my mom. She knew more of Grace's friends than I did and I figured once she
got home, we could call them together. Of course my mother reamed my ass the
entire time she was driving home, and when she walked through the door, I wish
I could say she stopped, but she didn't. We tried to remain calm as we called
Grace's friends and spoke with them and their parents. None of them had heard
from Grace since earlier that night. That's when my mom and I started freaking
out. She called my dad to ask him to come home and to tell him that Grace was
missing, but he didn't answer as usual."

I took in a deep breath as I started in on the rest
of the story. Riley's arms wrapped tightly around my waist, giving it a
squeeze, as she urged me to keep going.

"My mom finally called the police. We knew
that technically Grace had to be missing for at least forty-eight hours before
they could do anything, but my mom had a friend on the force and he immediately
sent out a search party to our house. There was no sign of forced entry and
Grace's window was still locked from the inside, all of them were. Mom was out
of her mind hysterical, and I tried to be the strong one for her, knowing that
my father would most likely not be coming home that night. The police sent out
a small search party in the woods behind our house and the park that was close
by. I decided to go with a couple of my buddies and a few officers to the beach
that was just up the street. We searched for hours and hours, but all of us
came up empty handed. The police told us to stay home and wait to see if she
would call, but she never did. After that night, the search parties took place
every day for at least a month. When we approached month two, I knew what had
happened to Grace, and I knew she wasn't coming back. My father had eventually
made it home the next day. He blamed my mother, for everything. They split up
and then divorced a month later. What kind of man divorces the mother of his missing
child? His child who the cops were still patiently searching for? This just
solidified my feelings towards the man, and I haven't spoken to him since. I
don't even know where he lives and I don't care."

"How did you and your mother get to where you are
today?" The tears that were freely falling down her face strangled her
voice.

"My mother and I remained close throughout the
entire thing. We helped each other cope with the fact that Gracie was missing
and she may never be found. Three years ago, they found Gracie's body. She
washed up on one of the nearby beaches, not too far from our house. That was
the first day Grace came to me. My mom made me go down and identify the body.
She told me she just couldn't fathom having to look at her baby girl, knowing
she hadn't protected her. My mother always blamed herself, even though I chose
to blame my father. Anyway, when I showed up at the mortuary, Gracie was there,
waiting for me on one of the chairs in the hallway. I thought I was going
crazy. There was no way I was seeing my dead sister. I ignored her and
proceeded to go back and identify my baby sister's lifeless corpse. The only
reaction I had was to break down and cry. I cried for hours and hours before I
was finally able to make my way home. When I got home, I told my mom that it
was Grace and she all but kicked me out of the house. Things got rough after
that. My mother practically had a nervous breakdown when I told her that I had
actually seen Grace, and that's when she told me to leave for good. She told me
that she couldn't live with someone who would only make this harder for
her."

"Oh my god, Tristan. I'm so sorry. I don't
even know what to say. All this time, I never, I thought, I didn't think you
understood what I had been through. I'm so sorry I ever doubted you."

I brushed the hair back from Riley's face, so I
could see her beautiful blue eyes. "You have nothing to be sorry for,
Riley. I completely understand why you would think that with how you found out
who I was."

"Speaking of which, I don't mean to interject
but how
did
you happen to save me?
I'm guessing the original story is a lie?"

I was starting to get choked up again, thinking
back to that night. "I'm getting to that. See, once I moved out, Grace
started appearing to me. It wasn't all the time, but it was enough that I
started to question my sanity. When she started talking to me, that's when I
knew I wasn't crazy, I needed her. She always came to me when I needed her help
and support, and after that, she would just disappear. The night I found you, I
was actually coming up here to do the exact same thing you were. I was done. My
sister stopped coming to me, and after I told them exactly what Grace had told
me about what happened to her that night and they all blew me off, well I was
done trying to live on my own. My mother and I hadn't spoken in three years and
I had no one left. I had lost all of my friends when Gracie started coming to
me. She walked me through what happened to her, and who had taken her. I
devoted all of my time to tracking the mother fucker down and needless to say,
my friends weren't too fond of being friends with a crazy guy."

Riley pushed against my lap and sat herself up.
"Wait, you know who, who killed her?"

"Yes. I do. My sister was the reason I became
a cop. I loved my job. I was able to look shit up about her death, I had access
to all sorts of information that helped me track him down, but my partner
started to notice something was up. He went to the chief thinking I was doing
drugs or something along those lines, but in all actuality, I was just talking
to my dead sister. Trust me I know how it sounds."

"Tristan, I don't think it sounds crazy. I
think it sounds like you loved your sister a lot."

"I did, I mean I do. She was my world, Riley.
I would've gone to the ends of the earth to protect my little sister, but
obviously I wasn't capable of even doing that."

"I don't think she blames you, Tristan. How
could she?"

Riley kneeled down next to me, taking my face into
her palms. "It sounds to me like you were an amazing big brother. And I
can tell just by you talking about Grace, that she loved you so much. You can't
blame yourself for something that you had no control over."