Fake (9 page)

Right now, whatever the gossip is – and there's always gossip – I don't want to know.

If his mysterious aura is actually hiding something, I want to discover it from him, not the school grapevine.

It's no lie. My feet are red and I counted four blisters forming on my toes.

I glance at the clock. The long afternoon stretches ahead with five o'clock and my half an hour with Sebastian the only excitement to look forward to. Mum won't be home until late.

Chay's response is instant.

The peanut butter and banana sours in my belly. So much for keeping my meeting with Sebastian quiet. Half the school is about to see us together.

CHAPTER

8

I'm waiting for Sebastian out the front of Dave's Computer Emporium at five minutes to five. A couple of hours earlier I texted him to check where to meet.

He'd stored his number under ‘Computer Nerd' and I'm still smiling about it when the glass door opens and he steps out. His hair is even messier than this morning and there's a smudge of dust under his right eye.

‘Working hard, huh?'

His grin melts everything else away. ‘Unloading a box of parts. Nothing exciting.'

I'm beginning to think listening to him read a computer textbook aloud would be exciting, but I play it cool. ‘How often do you work?'

‘Most days for a couple of hours sorting stock and sometimes helping customers.'

‘Are you sure this is okay?'

Nice move, Kath. Give the gorgeous boy an excuse to cancel
.

He checks his phone and nods. ‘I have to be home before six.'

‘Great.'

His gaze takes in my clothes. I hope he can't tell that I changed five times, eventually settling on jeans, boots and a black flowy top that Chay once said makes me look ‘womanly'. I think that was her tactful way of saying it gives me the appearance of actually having curves.

‘More than great,' he replies. ‘It's nice to see Kath back. Not that the legs weren't sensational to look at, but I prefer you without so much make-up.'

We begin walking toward Sweety's and he takes my hand as though it's the most natural thing in the world. It's warm and engulfs mine easily.

The flutters of nerves I've been fighting all afternoon become summersaults.

I have to concentrate to remember what we were talking about. That's right, my earlier dressing up. ‘You didn't like my Chay impression?'

The provocative question spills from my lips without going past my brain and I wonder for a second whether the red lipstick I wore this morning has done something to my mind.

He tugs me a little closer to his side. ‘I like Kath.'

And the summersaulting ramps up to a fully-fledged gymnastic routine.

The walk to the ice-cream shop passes in a heartbeat. It helps that I'm pretty much floating from Sebastian's compliment. He describes a little old lady who came in to his work looking for typewriter ribbon and almost has me in tears of laughter as he lists all the ways he tried to help.

I return to earth as we step inside Sweety's, but a quick scan of the place shows no one from school at the scattered tables or booths. We approach the pink and grey striped counter together and Sebastian looks down at me with a grin. ‘I'm still kind of new in town, what do you recommend?'

‘The peppermint chocolate sundae with fudge sauce,' I reply without needing to think. His voice has had the cool, rich flavour on my mind for days.

‘A double?' he asks.

Sharing ice-cream with Sebastian? ‘Yes please.'

He insists on paying and chooses a corner booth. We're cushioned together in the warmth and the aroma of waffle cones and hot chocolate sauce. I mentally cross my fingers that everyone who is meeting for the movies will be late and our kind-of-date will go unnoticed.

I'm not that lucky.

Our order hasn't even arrived when Lana and three of her friends walk in. I duck my head and look away but not fast enough.

She stalks over, all designer white jeans and gold, sparkling tank top.

‘What are you doing with her?' She spits the question at her brother.

He lifts the spoon. Drips of green ice-cream fall back into the bowl. ‘We're establishing a plan for world domination. What does it look like?'

Her lips thin. ‘Duh. Why with her?'

She still hasn't looked my way and I don't exactly wave to get her attention. But as she shows her obvious displeasure at Sebastian's choice of company, I try to match up this girl with the playful, happy one who's been chatting with Aaron on Facebook. I can't.

Sebastian's eyes narrow. ‘None of your business.'

Her hands rest on the table and she leans close to him so I can't make out whatever she says next. Although I strain my ears to do so.

Whatever it is doesn't make Sebastian any happier. ‘I'll be home by six as promised. Mum and Dad don't need to know. Okay?'

Their eyes meet and I try to sink down in my seat as they stare each other down. There's a whole lot going on here that I don't understand.

After a moment lasting forever Lana nods. ‘Like I care anyway.'

She stalks back to her friends.

In my head I'm trying to fill in the gaps of their conversation. I understand from her threat that Sebastian would be in trouble if his parents found out he was here. But despite her dislike of me, she's not going to tattle?

As an only child, I don't really understand how siblings work. He came to apologise for her behaviour and now she's covering for him. And between it all they're happy to argue.

Sebastian returns to eating the sundae as though we were never interrupted. ‘You were right,' he says, licking a drop of sauce from his lower lip. ‘This is great.'

I take another spoonful but it doesn't taste the same as before. I try to think of something to say but everything that comes to mind seems lame, knowing that Lana could be listening.

She and her friends don't have the same problem. I don't want to eavesdrop but it's hard to avoid hearing Lana. Her voice carries as though she's shouting right in my ear. ‘Pity I'm mad for Joel because Aaron is totally into me.'

She's bragging about the fake guy.

The ice-cream suddenly turns to glue, sticking my throat together and making it hard to breathe. I fumble for my drink as I double over, gasping for air.

The firm thump of Sebastian's hand on my back clears the path to my lungs. I can breathe again.

‘Are you okay?'

I nod, now trying to hear what else Lana's saying.

Sebastian leans back and places the spoon into the empty bowl. ‘I wish I could stay longer.'

‘Me too.' And I mean it but at the same time I'm worrying about his sister. Lana believes the guy Chay and I made up is real.

Seeing their conversation online is one thing but hearing her talk about Aaron as though he really exists means the revenge plan might have a hope of working. Being around Sebastian adds a confusing layer to everything.

He said he liked me, but what does that mean?

From the way he's checking the time, I guess he's about to bail on me to go home and babysit.

He stands. ‘Thanks for sharing ice-cream.'

‘Thank you.' For the talk, for making me laugh, for the way my heart beats faster when you look at me. ‘Can I walk you out?'

He shakes his head with a glance at the door. ‘Your friend is here.'

I follow his gesture and see Chay walking in with a group of people from school. Including Joel. Once I was nervous at the sight of him, but now all I feel is sadness that Sebastian is leaving.

‘Bye.' He flashes another grin and strides away.

No kiss, no brush of hands, no promise to call. And I'm left sitting alone, staring after him, wondering what it all means.

But not for long.

‘You're not his type.'

I look up into Lana's perfectly lined eyes. Even this close, even scowling, she really is beautiful. On the outside.

I lean back and fold my arms. ‘Sebastian or Joel?'

A part of me wants to laugh. Could I get any better at looking for trouble? For years I've managed to coast through under the radar, and now I've managed to piss off the newly-crowned most popular girl in the school. Twice.

‘Neither of them. Joel's mine and there's a lot about Sebastian you don't know.' The words come out in a rush and she keeps her eye on Chay and Joel's group, moving toward us through the now-crowded tables.

‘Like what?'

But she's not that stupid. ‘Stay away.'

‘Or what?' I mutter, but she doesn't even respond.

She's already turning away to wrap her arms around Joel's neck and smile up at him. ‘Told you I'd say sorry to Katherine. We're all friends now.'

Chay bustles past her with a none-too-subtle accidental elbow to the ribs. Always my champion. ‘Her name's Kathleen.'

Joel is oblivious to the female tension and keeps one arm around Lana as he faces the group. ‘Everyone coming to the movies?'

There's a chorus of agreement but Lana's smile becomes a pout and she tugs her arm away from Joel, stalking back to her table. As friendly debate erupts about thriller versus rom-com, I can't look away from the real life drama around me. With a resigned expression Joel follows Lana and there's some urgent whispering before he's placated her.

I shake my head. Talk about high maintenance girlfriend.

Chay nudges me in a similar way to her collision with Lana. ‘Was that Sebastian you were with?' Her voice is for my ears only but I'm ultra-aware of the crowd around us.

‘I was early.' It's not exactly a lie, but I hold my breath while I wait to see if she probes further.

‘You two seem to be bumping into each other a lot lately.'

Our eyes meet and lock and heat floods my cheeks. I can't fool Chay. She knows I'm not telling her everything, but thankfully she simply smiles and turns to add her voice to those arguing in favour of the thriller.

I return to replaying the conversation with Sebastian and analysing whether when he said he liked me he meant that he
really
liked me.

The question dominates my thoughts through the evening. It's insane that I can be out with my best friend at the movies like any other Saturday night but after today with Sebastian it's all completely different. I miss him. Nothing is as funny or as interesting as it is when I'm with him.

I scoop up a handful of hot buttery popcorn, inhaling the movie aroma that's even better than the taste. But tonight not even the smell of popcorn cheers me up.

I can't focus on the movie, a generic thriller with the same blood and gore as any other and even worse acting. I drift off to a better movie playing in my head. I let myself imagine I'm here with Sebastian. Would I be brave enough to suspend disbelief and feel fear so I could snuggle closer to him for protection?

I sigh.

He's at home looking after Poppy and I don't know when I'll see him again. He didn't exactly arrange another date when he left.

‘You okay?' Chay's whisper cuts through my melancholy thoughts.

‘Huh?'

She glances a few rows down at where Lana and Joel are playing tonsil hockey more than they're watching the screen.

‘I hadn't noticed.'

Her brows rise and she gives my arm a sympathetic squeeze. She doesn't believe me and I don't want to explain.

Joel was a child's infatuation. Sebastian is different. And when I'm with him I'm different. In the very best way. The Kath I become when I'm with him is the one I want to be.

Except for all those times he's witnessed me making an idiot of myself.

The rest of the night passes in a blur. I'm home by nine and the place is as I left it – dark and empty.

I stride quickly through the house, making a point of not turning on any lights to prove to myself I'm not afraid of the dark. It's a routine from our first night here when I realised there was no Daddy to come and save me from the monsters under my bed.

The clouds have cleared and moonlight sneaks through windows, letting in a glow and creating lots of shadows.

‘I am not afraid.'

My voice wavers. The thumping of my heart is ridiculous for someone who plans to leave for uni in less than a year.

I make it to my bedroom but don't switch on the light. Now I'm not trying to prove a point.

Here, I don't need it. I know every corner waiting to catch an ankle and every soft place to land if I stumble. Here, I like the night. The moonlight entwines with light from the street and is filtered through the tall pine outside my window.

I wonder, for a second, if Sebastian's eyes would be dark grey like the pine needles if he were standing close to me in the darkness.

I shiver but it's never going to happen. From the way he left I don't know whether he's interested in me at all. And besides, Mum's trust doesn't extend to boys in my room at all, let alone at night.

I collapse onto the bed and something sharp pokes into the bare skin of my back, in the stretch of skin where my top has separated from my jeans. I roll over to glare at the offending item.

The envelope from my father.

Mum must have left it here this morning. My teeth grind together and my fingers tighten on the pristine white. It's like a super envelope, able to survive crushing by a teenager without a crumple or crease.

I sit up and am halfway out the door, on my way to tell Mum what she can do with her hint, when I remember she's not home. Probably off with the man she met on the internet.

Not around when I need her.

My fingernail hooks under the very corner on the flap my father sealed. It would serve Mum right if I went and opened it without her here.