Fall From Grace (23 page)

"Hey Dad. What are you doing just sitting here?" Let's try playing dumb again.

"Did you have a good day at school Stella?" Dad was sitting on the couch, arms resting on the back of the sofa with one leg propped on top of his other knee. His eyes were trained on me, a piercing stare that bored into my soul. His anger was rolling off of him in waves but he sat there so still, so seemingly calm, so going to kick my ass.

Should I lie? Make up an alien abduction? Admit to doing charity work on the side? Or just lay my cards on the table. Even though I was a demon, Dad still instilled great fear in me so there was no way I was going to test him further. Cards on the table.

"Well, I actually wasn't in school today. I, um, went to the library to start studying for exams." Well almost all the cards. "I've been stressed lately and Bio is really kicking my butt so I just wanted to spend the day catching up."

"I see." Long awkward pause. "Stella, can you come and sit down for a minute, I need to talk to you about something."

As I ambled over to the couch and slowly descended onto the cushions, I knew it was over for me. Demon or not, I was screwed. Might as well shut my trap cause Dad could smell bullshit a mile away.

Leaning forward on his knees, clasping his hands, Dad takes some deep calming breaths before laying into me. "You know Stella, I realize I travel a lot, give you a pretty long leash, to put it mildly, and I've always trusted your decisions. I knew you'd come to me with any problems you had so no need to worry right? I can handle anything you throw at me, I'm sure of it. But you do know there is ONE thing I just can't stomach. ONE thing Stella. What is that ONE thing I can't tolerate?"

"Uh, seafood?"

"Liars!" Dad lashes back at me.

The silence post lash penetrates the room. Dad has never spoken to me like this before. The look on his face was raw anger and utter disappointment. Finally I now understand the almighty parental guilt trip. Then it got a little worse.

"I know you're a liar Stella. I know it. Do you want to know HOW I know it?"

"Um, super human intellect?" I squeak out.

"I know it because the girl sitting here in my living room is not the same girl that I raised. This girl here is acting like a little selfish brat, skipping eight, yes EIGHT classes in the past week and a half!" I can see the blood pressure start to fill his neck and face a not so lovely crimson colour. I think he's wrung his hands into sandpaper at this point.

"This girl sitting here before me got a D in Biology and doesn't seem to give a crap about her future anymore," he continued. "This girl here, is dressing a little too provocatively for a high school student and don't even get me started on shirking your work responsibilities. Yes, I know all about that too. Perhaps you had better brush up on your story telling skills Stella, as right now your house of cards has just crumbled into nothing."

In barely a whisper I manage to muster a 'sorry Dad' which really just fuelled his fire.

"Sorry? You're sorry?! Pardon the cliche, but sorry isn't going to cut it with me young lady." Wow he young ladied me.

"This all began with that trouble maker boyfriend you've been seeing and I've had it. Gabs has told me enough to know that he is the source behind your stupidity and believe me your good times with him has just come to an abrupt halt." Gasp, traitor Gabs!
 

"Under my roof, there are no more dates, no more social happy hour, no more ANYTHING until you graduate. You're going to do whatever the crap you want once you leave this house, but while under my roof, you won't disrespect me or yourself on some stupid rich kid who probably doesn't give a Shit about all the hard work you've put into school, your job and your future. He doesn't give a damn about you, I know his type. He doesn't have to. Daddy will fund his screw ups and he'll leave you high and dry after he's had his 'fun' with you. You'll be left wondering what the hell you did with your life. You're throwing at all away Stella, and I won't have it."

Ok, I know this would be the time to put up and shut up, but my whole body started to feel like it was on fire again. My hands trembled and I could feel the pressure start to build in me. There was no way I was going to sit here and take all that pissing away my future garbage when that is exactly what my father has done with his. Calling the kettle black is a bit of an understatement here Dad.

I stood up from the couch, hands resting on my hips, and let him have it. Not my finest moment I'm sure, but I just couldn't stop myself. The rage took over and I took him out.

"Oh really Dad? You want ME to get MY shit together. End up just like you? Well let me tell you that I am nothing like you! You sit there all high and mighty and preachy about getting off my ass and living a better life, when you have done crap all with yours since my mother walked out on you 17 years ago!"

"You know, I think I'll be a little more selective with whom I start taking advice from. Someone with a little bit more respect for themselves instead of a man who's sat around and pined for some phantom woman to come back to him. I mean Age has been in front of you for like 5 years, practically panting after you, but you can't even see it! You're so blind and clueless you can't even begin to understand how to have a normal relationship anymore so who are you to preach to me about how my boyfriend feels about me! You've immersed yourself in your job to the point of becoming a social lepper who has nothing better to do but try and ruin MY life. You haven't felt anything in 17 years except resentment, anger and abandonment. It's just pathetic!" I ticked these all off on my fingers one by one and crossed my arms in front of me. "She's gone, G-O-N-E. She left, she didn't care about you or about me, so excuse me if I prefer to actually live my life instead of shutting myself off from the world like the bitter old man you've become."
 

Dad just sat there. Sat there and said nothing. Sat there staring at the floor with absolutely nothing to say. I have never talked to him like that; it just boiled and bubbled out of me. The words floated around us like a toxic poisonous gas permeating through the air and infecting our bodies. My stomach felt sick and a huge migraine was starting to form behind my eyes. I couldn't take it back because what I said was actually true, in a really nasty way. I averted his eyes and plunked back down on the couch ripping my bandage and sending a nice jolt of pain through my stomach. I probably deserved it.

Dad sat there for what seemed like an hour which was probably only 2 minutes before speaking in a cold, detached voice, barely above a whisper. A voice I've never heard from him before.
 

"My personal life is actually none of your business Stella, but yours is still mine while you're living here." And then he stood up and walked away from me. Pausing at the bottom of the stairs he added, "You're grounded until further notice." And that was that. He left the room, shut the door to his office, and I just dropped my head in my hands.

So my best friend hates me, ratted me out to my Father. My Dad thinks I'm a tramp with no regard for him or for myself. My grades are in the toilet. My hip-ster friend will fade to nothing in a few years and tomorrow is my eighteenth birthday. Good times. I slunk up to my room in a cloud of shame and self loathing. Who am I really? How could I suddenly be so happy and yet making all the people I love miserable? I guess what they say is true - life sucks and then you die. Except I'm not going to. Not anytime soon anyways. Great. I flop down on the bed and call to Harve, I need some doggie hugs. Except he's avoiding me too. I curl up into a ball and will myself to sleep. I need today to be over with. I need to stop thinking a mile a minute and sleep.

When I woke up it was already dark out. The clock read 2 am and my stomach was definitely ready for some food. Peeling myself from my bed I padded to the bathroom to wash up and put my Pj's on. Sneaking a look at Frank I was at least pleased to see my demon healing strength kicked in and he was fully healed, ready to tackle the world with me.

"It's just you and me bub. Aren't you lucky?"

I flipped through my cell, hoping for a make up text from Gabs but there was notta. It left me feeling even more empty and alone. Thank god for Ash or I would have no friends left at all. I noticed he sent me a good night note around 10.

Hey there. Wanted to say good night and see how your nether regions are fairing? I meant Frank :) Healed up yet? Oh and I have a little something up my sleeve for your birthday tomorrow. Leave your evening free.

He's probably asleep but I text him back regardless. Might as well burst his bubble as soon as he wakes tomorrow. No big night out in the cards for me. I leave out the big scuffle with Dad and mention my grounding only from skipping class.

He sends a note back straight away telling me not to worry; he'll figure something out, just head to bed early tomorrow night. This sends my insides into a butterfly holding cell. Well at least someone who doesn't think I'm a slutty toad. Or maybe he does? Maybe Dad is right after all? Looking at my situation from a birds eye point of view, it doesn't actually
look
good. Pushing away your friends/family. Check. Screwing up school and getting a tattoo. Check. It does
sound
like a recipe for disaster but my situation is different. So utterly different. Yes, it's completely unique. Right? But isn't that what they all say on 'Intervention'?
 

Looking at my pale reflection in my bathroom vanity, my heart just feels wrong. "What the crap are you doing Stella Grace?"

With a sigh, I push that thought away and head downstairs for a sandwich. Everything looks better after some PB & J.

The next morning Dad avoids me completely by making an early morning exit and scribbling a hasty note informing me he's gone in to work for the day but that if I value my life I won't venture past the front porch, and no visitors. Period. Point taken. I took the day off work in expectation that it would be filled with balloons, presents, cake, and well, actual people. I don't even get a call from Gabs.

Dad makes it home around 4 and I still haven't made it out of my wiener dog PJ's. I spent the entire day having a pity party for one, loafing on the couch, flicking through about a hundred channels and still watching absolutely nothing. Dad comes into the kitchen, followed by an aroma that makes my mouth water. He's laden with multiple, grease stained take out bags from 'Boho', my fav restaurant in town. It's a little hole in the wall European style bistro located pretty much right next to Grant's. Its' prime locale has inspired me to indulge a little too often on my Saturday lunch breaks. Their menu is very eclectic, ranging from Bison to Steak Tartare but my absolute must recommendation is their signature cabbage rolls.

I know what you're thinking. Perhaps pizza, fried chicken, even burgers. Nope. My devotion belongs to their cabbage rolls nestled in a bed of creamy mashed potatoes swimming in real butter. Comfort food at it's finest - exactly what I needed today.
 

I even spy a small box of red velvet cupcakes fresh from 'Let them eat cake', an amazing bakery over on third street, run by the Young twins. These uber talented sisters began making gorgeous cupcakes for their friends parties about 3 years ago. They could create the most amazing works of art in cake form that I have ever seen; plus they were dee-lish to boot. When Grant's celebrated their 5th anniversary last fall they created wee cupcakes adorned in little designer jeans. Their shoppe opened just last summer but they've been swamped ever since.

I'm speechless that Dad would actually wait in line on a Saturday for these babies which has been known to take upwards of 20 minutes. Only the die hard cupcakers would dare attempt that, myself included.
 

Seeing these gestures from him after the way I spoke last night, hits me like a ton of bricks; the guilt is killing me. That mixed with the loser birthday depression I've been having all day and I start to actually tear up in gratitude. We still haven't said two words to each other but I know I need to make things right. I tear myself off the couch and sheepishly meander into the kitchen tugging up my pants and trying to smooth my rat's nest.

"Dad, about last night, what I said, I'm just feeling like complete crap and I am so so very sorry. I..." He cuts me off with a hand wave to avoid the gush.

"Say no more Stells, I think we both got a little in over our heads. I didn't mean to come down so hard on you, but you really pissed me off. I guess I haven't been used to you having a - a
boyfriend
, and I have to say I don't like it one bit." He says 'boyfriend' like he just barfed in his mouth a little bit.

"You're still grounded though, I haven't changed my mind about that. You only have a few more weeks left of school; you can't just piss it all away. I won't allow it. Please just give me a few more weeks and maybe I'll try to be a little more reasonable when it comes to letting you see
him
."

I give him a big smile agreeing to a truce which I gratefully accept. This is about as good as it's going to get and after the crappy way I handled it, I'm ready for some human interaction and zero name calling. "Sure thing Dad, I'll try harder. Promise. Leave it to you to bring out the big guns though, geez mashed potatoes and cake? I didn't stand a chance," I say clearing the dining table of our usual mess - homework, sticky notes and magazines.

"I never said I play fair," he grins as he sets a plethora of take out containers in a make shift buffet line on the island. Maybe not the worst birthday in the world after all.