Fall (Roam Series, Book Two) (22 page)

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he groaned against my ear.

“
Don’t hurt me,
” I repeated his words, shoving my fingers into his hair and pulling so that his chin lifted to my mouth.

He backed me against the wall in his bedroom, his fingers tearing at the button on my jeans. I wriggled out of them as he turned, dropping me to the bed.

Without the lamp, his silhouetted body was massive, towering over me in the moonlight that poured through his bedroom window. I heard him fumble with tearing paper, and I realized that he had a condom in his hand.

“
What…?
” I met his eyes in the darkness as the music slowed enough for me to hear his words.

“
I just want you,
” he hushed, pressing me back against the cool sheets. “
Only you.
”

The s
ong finally ended. The bedroom filled with total silence, other than the sound of my rapid breathing and the rain striking the roof. He eased over me, and I backed against the pillow, watching his shadowed face as he lowered himself against me.

His body slowed, his mouth gentled, and languorously I writhed. As his kiss moved lower, lingering over my bare stomach, my back arched at the deliberate, perfect agony. My fingernails curled into his broad shoulders as his tongue traced my navel.

I tensed as I began to think, really think, about the repercussions of what I was doing. He sensed my resistance and lifted his face, his eyes piercing mine in the darkness. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to do this?”

“
West
,” I swallowed, licking my lips as his mouth lowered again.

“Since I saw your goddamn map.”

His words registered, and I let a breathy laugh escape, shaking my head in protest. “Don’t curse,” I ordered, dragging his face to mine.

Tenderly, he kissed me, guiding me through the storm raging inside. We made love like it was the end of the world, clinging to each other in shared fear and quiet anguish. “
I love you,
” he whispered against my lips, and I came apart.

The
timeless bond between us left me grasping for reality; he held me as we mourned what we had lost… and all that we stood to lose. My body wrenched beneath the weight of my tears, but he held me in place, in the only place that I belonged.

In his arms.

“Don’t leave.”

“Morgan texted me five times. I just texted her back, but she’s
so mad.” I shoved my foot into my jeans, tugging them over my hips.

“School is going to be… difficult… tomorrow.” He
sprawled naked on the bed, and I turned to him, smirking.

“The feeling will be mutual.”

“Roam,” he sat up and looped his finger inside the waist of my jeans, tugging me toward him. “No more of this. You deserve to be respected. No more…,” he struggled to articulate his words, and I lifted my eyes.

“Booty calls?”

“Damn it.”

“
West.” I straddled his legs on the edge of the bed, hugging him tightly. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. I just have so much… anger. And it’s not your fault… it’s not anyone’s fault. I have to work this out.”

“Taking you out is not possible while I’m teaching you. And I
need
to be at the school… with you, while you’re there. That’s about
me
.”

“Being my hero. I know.”

He glanced at the clock on his bedside table, sighing and reaching for sweatpants. “I have to go feed… the prisoner.”

I stared at him, confused, and the realization of his words left me staggering. “Troy… my God, how could I forget he was here?”

“I’m glad you did.”

I slipped my sweatshirt over my head. “I want to see him.”

“What?” He shook his head adamantly. “Absolutely not-…,”

“Stop me then,” I ran for the door. He crossed the room in seconds, catching me before I could make it to the stairs.

“He is not tied up. He’s in a cell that I had built for him. He has a toilet and running water, and I feed him twice a day. It’s better than state prison.”

I ducked out of his arms, running down the stairs. “Good, then he can’t touch me.”

“You want to take your anger out on him,” he stepped in front of me again, stopping me before I could reach the kitchen. “He knew about Eva.”

“I want to kill him,” I twisted my fingers together until my skin tore. “Show me how to break his neck.”

“That’s not you, Roam.”

“Maybe it is!” I dodged past him, running to the door and throwing it open. I almost made it to the first step when he caught me around the waist.

“No. I won’t let you become this.”

“Let me go
now
.”

He stared me in the eye, finally releasing me. “Go.”

I walked down the stairs quickly, turning to the movement that I caught from the corner of my left eye. Troy sat on a rudimentary cot, his arms crossed over his broad chest. West followed me down.

The basement, unfinished, was dimly lit by only a single, hanging bulb. The cement floor appeared to have been flooded in the past, and a bench with sawhorses and carpentry tools lined the wall to the right.

There were no windows.

“There she is,” he grinned, wagging his fingers in the air. “Hey kiddo.”

“Come closer,” my voice, throaty and harsh from the damage he’d caused, came out thick and heated.

He was on his feet in a flash, moving to the iron bars West had installed.
Who does he have on his payroll who builds cells in basements in a little more than a week?
I shivered, glancing at West.

“
Madison Swim Team.
” He read my sweatshirt. “Well, that brings back some fun memories.”

“You knew… Eva…,” my voice waivered at her name, “would disappear. Why didn’t you
tell me.
”

“
Not sure if you’re aware, but we’re enemies.”

“You gave me
a warning… but you didn’t explain. Why would you even warn me?”

His eyes bored into mine. “You gave me water.”

The basement echoed with stillness.

“Okay, Roam, come on.” West’s voice, over my shoulder,
interrupted the reverie.

Coldness
settled in my very immortal soul.

I took a step toward Troy, my eyes fixed with his. He watched me carefully.

“I would like to hurt you,” I breathed.

He tilted his head to the side, his eyes never leaving mine. “Another couple weeks until
her meds kick in?” He asked West.

West walked to my side. “Roam.”

“Wait,” I lowered my voice to a soothing lull, vanishing in Troy’s icy stare. “I think he’ll let me.”

Troy ran his finger down the bar in front of him. “Will you like it?”
He asked.

I nodded.

“What would you like to do?”

“I want to cut you… throat to navel.”

“Roam, we’re going upstairs. Now.” West grabbed my hand, but I shook him loose.

“Go get me a knife.”

“She can’t do it.” Troy held his arms out at his sides, challenging. “Tie me to the bars. She won’t do it.”

“Get me a knife, or I’ll get it myself.”

“He can’t die, Roam.”

“He can feel pain.” I backed to the stairs. “Tie him up for me, or I’ll do it myself.”

“I’ll let
her
tie me up. This is the most fun I’ve had in centuries.”

“Roam, you’re losing it,” West followed me up the stairs and into the kitchen. I walked to the butcher block by the stove, pulling the largest knife from the top slat.

“Tie him up!” I screamed.

“This isn’t you. You gave him water. You wanted him fed and cleaned. And now you want to cut him up?”

“He took everything from me,” I gripped the knife in my hands until my palm was slippery. “From
us
.”

“If I tie him to the bars, will you stop this?”

I went back to the basement. West moved to the corner for rope, and Troy’s eyes lit with excitement.

“Game on.” He stood against the bars, facing outward. West grabbed each arm, one at a time, and secured him to the iron rod
s. “Wait, I need to be a little lower, judging by her height.” He laughed, sickening. “You couldn’t kill a fly.”

I
walked toward him slowly and stopped, looking down at the knife in my hands. “This is too sharp,” I dropped it, jerking as it hit the floor. “When you cut me up in France, the blade was dull.” Walking to the wall with the tool bench, I surveyed what I had to work with. “It was long, and dull.” Finally, I grabbed a large, flathead screwdriver.

“You’re
about one hundred pounds, soaking wet. Do you know the force it’ll take to stab me with that?”

H
alf running with adrenaline, I moved to him before I could think. Pulling my arm back as if I were pitching a baseball, I thrust the screwdriver between the bars and into his neck, backing up as blood spurted forth, drenching my face. His eyes bugged in pain and disbelief, and I screamed.

My foot slipped in the blood and I fell backward, West catching me in midair. “Oh my God, I can’t believe…
Jesus fucking Christ
,” he reached for the screwdriver, yanking it out of Troy’s throat. Blood pumped from his neck, and he dropped, hanging from the ropes at his wrists.

“Where’s your hero?” I
shrieked at him, slipping through the blood in my bare feet to claw at his face. I felt my fingernails bend backward as I dug at his skin. “Where is
your
hero?
I hate you!
I hate you!
”

“
Roam!” West dragged me away from him, kicking. I finally went limp, sitting on the concrete floor, covered in blood.

I stared at my hands, watching blood
seep under my broken fingernails. He scooped me into his arms, taking two stairs at once. By the time we made it to his bathroom, I leaned against his bare, bloodied chest, exhausted.

“
I didn’t think you’d do it,” he turned the water on, and then the shower, gently stripping my stained clothes away. I watched the blood mix with the water, swirling down the drain. “Can you hear me? Baby, don’t do this…,”

“I’m not crazy,
” I lifted my eyes to meet his. He soaked a washcloth, wiping Troy’s blood away from my face. “I’m
not
. I know who I am.” My voice was barely there; I’d have no voice tomorrow for sure.

West stopped wiping, cupping my chin in his hand. “Maybe
I
didn’t know… what you were capable of,” he searched my eyes.

I winced, wrapping my arms around my body.

“Will I feel guilty?”

“Yes,” he lathered my hair with shampoo, kneeling next to the tub as he fought with each strand. “
You’ve never done anything like this.”

“How do I stop?”

“You have to forgive yourself.”

“
How do I stop hating him?
”

His hand still
ed, and he looked down at me. “You have to forgive
him
.”

“Do you? Forgive him?”

West rinsed more blood from my hair. “I will never forgive him.”

I leaned against the claw-footed tub as he cleaned the blood from my body. I thought of my mother, of Eva, and of heaven and hell. Good, Catholic girls like Morgan and
I believed our mother went to heaven.

But w
here was Eva?

I sat in silence beneath the hot water,
thinking about the tips of her tiny fingers. West pulled me to a standing position, wrapping me in a thick, white towel.

“I’m going to try to clean the basement. Your carry-on, the one you packed before we left, is in the bedroom. Put some clothes on, and then I’m going to drive you home.”

“I’ll help you clean-…,”

“You are never going in that basement again,” he pressed his lips against my forehead, gripping my wet hair as he crushed me against him. “Do you understand me?”

“Yes,” I whispered, clinging to him. He held me, quietly, untangling knots in my hair with his fingers.

“Saturday, I want you to come with me,” he kissed my head again softly. “I’ll make sure Logan covers for you. We have something that we have to do.”

“What?”

“I’ll just show you on Saturday.” He pulled my face away from his chest to look into my eyes. “Do you feel like you can fight like that... in your dreams?”

I narrowed my eyes, confused.

“Isa had a nightmare about Troy, but she forced weapons into her nightmare, and somehow conjured ways to escape. It’s
your
mind, Roam. The nightmares are magic, but it’s still your mind.”