Fallen from Grace (19 page)

She hadn’t expected Judas to be so...passionate. It made her hate Jack even more. If Judas didn’t get out of New York, he was going to end up in jail, and he didn’t deserve that future. But if he left, she may never see him again. He might fall in love and marry some worldly woman.

“You’re smart and talented, Judas. You should be living the life you want to live.”

“Are you living the life you want to live, Grace?”

She glanced down his body and felt shockwaves of lust skitter down her spine. “I thought I was, but I don’t know anymore…I would love to visit Greece,” she inserted, without thinking about the implications of her statement. Her desire for him was building and begging her to forget about everything. Judas Woods was like quicksand, the more she got to know him, the deeper she sank and the harder it was to walk away.

A huge grin spilled across his sinfully gorgeous lips and stirred the butterflies in her stomach like a gale force wind kicking up sand. “I’m going to take you there one day, Grace.”

Judas talked about his favorite philosophers and recited quotes that moved him. Grace laid next to him for hours, just listening to him talk; his emotions were all over the place, and he was talking fast and changing dreams and subjects faster than she could follow. She laughed at him, and wished she could feel that drive again. Judas knew what he wanted, even if it took being drugged to figure it out, and he was more than capable of achieving it. She promised to do anything God wanted if he would just help Judas find his way.

When she absently started rubbing circles on his chest, he stopped talking and closed his eyes. “That feels amazing,” he mumbled in a deep, sultry voice.

Grace couldn’t stop herself—she trailed the tip of her index finger all over his chest, down his stomach, then traced the V to the edge of his waist and back up to his neck. Judas was quiet, and she wondered what he was thinking, but then she heard a soft snore. She smiled and pulled the blanket over him.

This time she wasn’t going anywhere.

J
UDAS
’
S
HEAD
THROBBED
,
AND
HE
could barely open his eyes, but he squinted through one. It was daylight outside, but the wood shutters were drawn, and he had no idea the time or who the woman pressed against his side was. The last thing he remembered was…

Hell, he didn’t remember shit.

The woman in his arms was snuggled firmly against him, and Judas was pretty sure she was fully clothed. He was about to move, and then he caught a familiar scent—vanilla and lavender.

His heart skipped a beat, and he forgot about the pounding headache as his stomach became a tangled knot of nerves.

He looked at the bedside table illuminated by the red glow of a clock: 7:30am. He saw his phone and moved his arm stealthily to pick it up and press the side for light. Bringing it slowly to him, he glanced down and nearly dropped the phone on Grace’s head.

She stirred, nuzzling her head against his chest. He couldn’t believe his pounding heart hadn’t woken her, and for a moment he wondered if everything that had happened for the past week was just a dream and he was waking up next to her as he should have in the Hamptons, but he’d never been in this room, and the chaotic sound of traffic outside said they were in the city. Judas felt overly emotional, and his body had an odd hum pulsing through it as if he’d been shocked by static electricity. He suddenly felt great and wide awake.

What the hell did I do last night?

Whatever it was didn’t matter because there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do to be exactly where he was right now. At the risk of waking Grace, he laid his arm across her shoulder. His heartbeat slowed to a steady rhythm as he gave himself over to the comfort she brought to his recent, erratic thoughts and he watched her sleep. When a smile curled slowly in the corners of her mouth, his heart broke the steady rhythm it previously beat to and his entire body filled with an unexplainable buzz. It was an intense body high he’d never felt before. Her eyes slowly opened, and the smile on her lips grew as she stretched her arms above her head.

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

It was a normal question, and one he should have been able to answer, but he couldn’t find the words. “I feel okay.”

She looked at the clock, then scooted to the other side of the bed as she stood and opened the shutters. “We’ve been asleep for three hours.”

Judas sat up and leaned against the headboard. “I’m sorry I kept you up so late.”

She smiled. “It’s okay. I loved listening to you talk.”

Talk?
About what?
Not remembering what happened was starting to drive him crazy. He didn’t know what to say because there was no way in hell he could admit he’d blacked out.

“Judas?” He looked at her. “Are you sure you’re okay? I said your name three times before you heard me.”

Wanting nothing more than for her to come back to bed, he said, “Yeah, of course. I was just thinking.”

“About what?” she inquired innocently.

Shrugging, he looked at the sweatpants he was wearing-the ones he had no idea how he came to be wearing-and drew a blank.

“You don’t remember anything, do you?”

But it wasn’t a question; it was as if she knew this might happen. His guilty gaze gradually locked with her heavenly hazel eyes, and he hated what he saw—disappointment.

“I’m sorry, Grace.”

She dropped her eyes to the floor. “I had a feeling this might happen, it’s a common side effect of ecstasy.”

“Ecstasy!” Judas blurted.

She looked at him. “You said someone drugged you but you didn’t say who it was, just that it had something to do with what Rebecca said about you.”

So much for calm, non-erratic thoughts. They were back with a vengeance. Who would drug him? And what had Rebecca said? He tried to remember what he did last night to no avail. “Do you know how I got here?”

“You drove.”

Judas shook his head. Peppermint. He remembered something about the flavor and drinking a lot of whiskey, but he didn’t remember driving, or being drugged. Hell, it could have happened anywhere.

Cade
.

He remembered what happened to her brother and the pain in Grace’s eyes when she talked about his death. Judas knew she blamed herself, just as he felt the blood of his mother’s death was on his own hands. His heart felt incredibly heavy. Frustrated and angry with himself, he moved off the bed and paced across the room.

“I don’t even know what to say, Grace. This is unforgivable. Why would you let me stay? Why not put me in a taxi and rid yourself of all of this? Of me and my broken, fucked up life. This is just so...”

Lacing his fingers together behind his head, he dropped his gaze to the floor and sighed. His mind held nothing but a blank night full of unknowns.

“Judas.”

He didn’t deserve the sweet, sympathetic voice that eased his pain, but it gave him the strength to turn around. “I’m sorry, Grace.”

She shook her head. “You apologized enough last night. You can’t change what you did, but you can make sure you never do it again.”

He watched as concern flooded her gaze, spilling out into the worried expression that held her beautiful features captive.

“I won’t ever drink and drive again. And as far as the ecstasy, I...I don’t know what to say. I’m not that guy. I’ve seen what it does to people, and what they end up doing to themselves.”

Looking at her fully clothed body, he couldn’t help wonder how far things went last night.
How well had he apologized to her?
When his gaze moved down to her bare feet, and then slowly back up the light green silk pajamas, Judas swore he saw her blush.

“Nothing h-happened between us, last night,” she stammered.

There was something she wasn’t telling him—he could feel it as he walked across the room and stopped in front of her. Grace seemed to be fighting an internal battle as her gaze dipped down to his chest, then lower until she forced it elsewhere. She was trying to hide her feelings, but was noticeably struggling. As she tapped her left foot ever so slightly, and pressed her lips together, he knew she was lying.

“Why didn’t you make me leave?”

Her hazel eyes skimmed his torso before meeting his questioning gaze. “If you could remember, you’d know that it wasn’t a possibility.”

Images of him falling all over the place or being non-compliant made him regret his question, and he absently rubbed his chest. Where were his clothes? He looked around; he’d obviously worn out his welcome and needed to leave Grace alone.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Judas.” She released a troubled sigh. “It’s complicated.” She walked past him. “I need coffee.”

Continuing the search for his clothes, he gave up when he saw a gray t-shirt neatly folded on the bedside table. Pulling the shirt over his head and looping his arms through the short sleeves, he tugged it on as he walked out of her bedroom.

Her apartment was literally a third the size of his, but the contemporary space had a warm feel to it, much like her office. There were simple vases, photos and knick-knacks on the tables next to her beige couches and alongside the shelves that were built into the wall beneath the windows. She had hundreds of books, and he had no doubt that Grace had read them all. A small fireplace was several feet down from the front door, and a grand piano sat in the corner.

Grace was in the updated kitchen, standing in front of a coffee pot next to the stove. The sounds of coffee brewing filled the air, along with a delicious aroma.

Her gaze touched his shirt, and an emotion filled her eyes before she turned back around.
These were her brother’s clothes.
The revelation only added to his guilt. He sat down at one of the tall chairs, scared that he might upset her if he came any closer. She poured two cups of coffee and handed him one.

“Would you like cream or sugar?”

He shook his head. “No, thank you. This is perfect.”

Taking a drink, he waited for her to speak but when she took a long sip from her mug he got the feeling she was stalling. It worried him…what was he missing? Judas searched his thoughts but was met with a brick wall built by a drunken night of debauchery.

“What are you not telling me?”

She lowered her mug, then shifted her apprehensive gaze from the counter to him.

“I didn’t make you leave last night because...” Graced paused, then pressed her lips together before answering him. “As you may know, Ellis is running for President, and he just wants to make sure I’m safe.” She glanced away, then brought her gaze back to him. “He’s hired someone to be here when he’s gone. To make sure I’m safe and...” Her voice began to shake and she stopped talking.

Anger trembled through his fingers as he gripped the coffee cup, and his body temperature rose. “Grace-”

She held her hand up. “Don’t, Judas. I don’t need you getting upset and making this any worse than it already is. I plan to talk to him today.”

His respect for her forced his anger back, and he took a drink. “Good coffee,” he mumbled.

Her face relaxed, and she smiled. “Thank you.”

A frisson of tension noticeably occupied the space between them.

“I’m worried about you,” he murmured.

“Don’t,” she urged.

“I should go.”

She straightened. “Would you like some breakfast first?”

He shook his head and pushed out of the chair. “No, I think it is best if I just go.”

She nodded and looked at her coffee cup on the counter. “Your clothes are in the bathroom, on the bench.”

He strode to the bathroom and shut himself inside. His clothes were neatly folded on the bench, and his shoes were sitting on the floor beneath it. Judas washed his face, then removed a toothbrush from an unopened package and brushed his teeth. Grace was so kind and considerate, and it only made him angrier. Ellis was spying on her. He didn’t trust her, and it was all because of Judas. He had brought this upon Grace, and she didn’t deserve it.

After he dressed, he glanced at his reflection in the mirror and the act elicited a strange tug in his thoughts, but nothing followed. His memories just weren’t there.

When he walked out of the bathroom, Grace was waiting for him. She’d changed into a pair of faded jeans and a white t-shirt. Judas wanted to pull her into his arms, lace his fingers through her auburn hair and kiss her, but it wasn’t what she wanted.
He
wasn’t who she wanted.

“How do you want to do this?”

Her beautiful hazel eyes blinked several times. She was quiet, and he wanted to know what she was thinking.

“Ummm...”

“Ellis’s security guard. Is there a fire escape or back entrance I can use?”

She winced. “Oh yeah, of course. Ummm, there’s a back entrance. You said it was what you used last night. I’m assuming that’s where your car or bike or whatever is. I’m going to go downstairs and check my mail to distract him, then you can slip out the back. Follow the hall to the left and you’ll see a back exit that leads to the alley.”

“Great.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. Grace turned and walked to the door. “Wait,” he blurted. She slowly turned on her heel and looked at him.