Falling for Alexander (Corkscrew Bay #2) (14 page)

Chapter Sixteen

Kate w
ent to bed with her fury and woke up mad.

It wasn
’t so much that Alexander wasn’t ready for her to meet his sister as the fact that he hadn’t mentioned he had a sister. Stalling on the family introductions was one thing. She wasn’t planning on taking him home for Sunday lunch quite yet either, but she had spoken about her parents in their endless phone calls this last week.

It took a second mug of coffee before she could think straight, and then she wished she could rewind. Crawl back into bed and just stay
mad for another day.

Clearly the media had messed with his family and their lives at some point and, she being who she was, didn
’t help. He’d actually been telling the truth when he’d said it was complicated. He had valid reasons, reasons she simply didn’t yet know, for his reluctance to let her inside.

She should feel better.

She should… but she didn’t.

She
’d felt they belonged, no matter what. No matter that they hadn’t even known each other two weeks ago.

Time had no meaning when she was as necessary t
o Alexander as breathing.

She
’d believed there was nothing that couldn’t be done, couldn’t be fixed, when it came to them being together.

She was wrong. Alexander hadn
’t let her over onto his side of the wall. He’d simply lowered some walls for her to lean across.

They weren
’t broken, but they could be. A possibility she’d irrationally decided somewhere along the way would never apply to them.

And now she couldn
’t even stay angry at him, because she was the only crazy one out of the two of them. Doubts were natural, especially at this early stage.

How in blazes had she arrived at the conclusion that their hap
pily-ever-after was guaranteed?

It wasn
’t his fault that their relationship was just as fragile and unpredictable as every other normal relationship on the planet.

But it was, and now she had to adjust her heart to the fact that they could go either way. They were just a couple, getting to know each other, falling in love, perhaps working out, perhaps not.

It was such an ordinary place to be, really.

And
such a far way down from the extraordinary height of the pedestal she’d put them on.

By the time she
’d finished sifting through the emails for the classified ads page, she was ready to admit she was a moron. Alexander and her had just as much a chance of surviving as the next couple. Sure, they had hurdles in their path, but who didn’t?

She was just coming out of her slump when Helena, of all people, walked through from the reception.

“I hope it’s alright for me to barge in like this,” she said, smiling as she walked up to Kate’s desk. “There was no one at reception.”

Kate
’s jaw went slack as she watched the woman approach, paying closer attention now that she knew who Helena was. She was a softer, more colourful version of her brother. Her eyes a shade lighter, her brows a shade darker, her lips fuller and a shade pinker. The elegant setting of the rock on her fourth finger indicated her fiancée had style as well as money.

“
Does Alex know you’re here?” Kate asked.

“
He’s my brother, not my keeper.” She slid into the chair opposite Kate, her gaze warm and friendly.

Kate couldn
’t imagine why, not after the awful scene she’d caused. “I’m sorry you got caught in the middle of our tiff yesterday.”

“
I’m afraid I was the cause.”

“
If you’re here on Alex’s behalf—”

“
I’m here on your behalf.”

What had Alexander said to his sister? Kate
’s heart pinched. She sucked in a deep breath, refusing to give her worry credence. “I was going to say it wasn’t necessary, but maybe you know something I don’t.”

Helena looked at her in
silence for a moment before continuing. “About four years ago, I dated a lead guitarist for a band. Ever heard of Sundown Serpents?”

Kate shook her head, wondering where this was going. “
Are you involved in the music industry as well?”

“
God, no, I take strictly after my mother in that department.” She chuckled. “I met Mickie at a party Alex took me along to. That’s part of the problem, you see. He feels doubly responsible because I met Mickie through him.”

“
I’m guessing this Mickie was bad news?”

“
I can’t put all the blame on him.” She leant back in her chair and crossed her legs. “He never hid who and what he was, but I didn’t care. I loved him so much, anything was better than trying to live without him. And I thought I could handle it. The drugs were light at first, a couple of pills and such. I had this crazy notion that as long as I wasn’t sniffing with them, I’d be fine.”

Kate
’s heart went out to her. “You became addicted.”

She shook her head. “
I was lucky. But I spent enough nights zoned out for it to bite me on the ass. Pictures got into the papers, Kate. Photos of me at some party, with Mickie and three others guys I don’t remember ever meeting.”

Helena swallowed, closing her eyes. “
I was interning at an interior design studio back then, and they no longer wanted me. My best friend from school days wouldn’t take my calls, when I finally screwed up the courage to phone her for a sanity check.”

She didn
’t elaborate on the type of pictures, didn’t need to. The fallout explained more than a thousand images.

“
The people we love the most can be the cruellest,” Kate murmured.

“
I was a wreck,” Helena went on. “Losing Mickie was bad enough, but losing him like that, knowing he’d never cared for me at all, the way he’d used me, shared me, and I’d let him… I hated myself more than the rest of the world could. I couldn’t live with myself, with the shame I’d brought on Alex and my aunt…on myself. I was revolted at the low I’d sunk to.” Her eyes opened, slowly lifting to Kate. “I didn’t want to live.”

Horror punched
Kate in the gut with the force of a fist. “You didn’t…?”

“
I very nearly succeeded. And then I hated Alex for finding me in time.” She took a deep breath, shaking off her emotions with a shudder. The tension pulling at her mouth and throat relaxed. “Do you understand now? Alex has never forgiven himself, and he’ll never forgive the press for plastering my shame all over the state.”

“
Castle Darrock was
your
sanctuary.”

Helena nodded. “
He shouldn’t have tried to hide me from you, I agree, but he doesn’t always behave rationally when it comes to the media or protecting me from myself.”

“
Thanks for telling me this,” Kate said. “It must have been difficult, opening yourself up to a stranger.”

“
You’re not a stranger, Kate. You matter to Alex.” She was smiling again, the shadows of her past back where they belonged. “It’s impossible not to notice how much.”

Kate returned the smile, straining to stay in her chair. She wanted to jump up and hug the woman. For everything she
’d been through. For sharing her story. For giving a huge part of Alexander back to Kate. “He matters to me, too.”

“
Have you eaten yet?” Helena asked. “I’d hoped to catch you in time for lunch.”

“
I could eat.” She grabbed her purse from the drawer and stood. “What did you have in mind?”

“
Is Sloppy Fish still there on the pier?” Helena joined her and they made their way out. “I have dreams about their fat chips drenched in vinegar.” She made a drooling noise. “God, especially when you leave them in the wax paper until they’re good and soggy.”

“
That sounds…”

“
Disgusting.” Helena chuckled. “The best things in life always are.”

Kate laughed with her, and they fell into an easy conversation as they strolled through the paved town centre and then cut along an alley to the seafront. Kate felt so comfortable wi
th her, she was sure they’d be close friends, if Alexander ever gave them the chance. She was dying to ask Helena where he was, what he was doing. But considering he hadn’t even wanted her to know he had a sister, she wouldn’t stoop that low.

The unusually
hot weather had brought the crowds out, but the schools were back this week and it’d be a couple of hours still before kids packed the waves and the open arcade on the pier.

The line trailed from Sloppy Fish all the way onto the sand and they waited almos
t twenty minutes for their order. They did manage to snag a bench on the promenade from a couple who swapped their entwined position for a stroll on the sandy beach.

As they ate, they chatted about this and that, nothing in particular. A slight breeze had
picked up, turning muggy to just perfect. Kate stretched her legs out, pulling her gaze from the mesmerising roll of timeless waves.

“
Unfortunately, I have to get back to work.” She looked at Helena. “I’m pleased we had a chance to get to know each other a little.”

“
Same here.” Helena crumpled a ball from the wax paper her chips had come in. She shifted on the bench to face Kate. “You will be careful, won’t you?”

Kate struggled to follow for a second, her mind a fogbank of too much sun and ocean, and then
it hit her. With this family, it seemed that everything always came back to her and her job. Of course, she understood a whole lot better now. “I’d never hurt Alex.”

“
I believe you, but that’s the thing I’ve learnt about mistakes. They happen regardless of intention and the damage is inflicted before you realise what you’ve done. And when I say
you
, I mean you, me…people in general.”

“
I’ll heed the warning,” Kate said, her mood somewhat cooled.

She appreciated Helena looking out for her brother, she didn
’t even blame her, but her own position wasn’t exactly pleasant.

What was she supposed to do?

Sell the Corkscrew Weekly? The paper she’d built up from the early beginnings of the quarterly
Roll-With-It
newsletters she’d started in high school?

“
I guess it is a warning of sorts, but it’s on your behalf as much as Alex’s. He likes you, much more than I originally assumed considering the obvious conflict he’s swept aside for you.” Her expression was as soft as it was sombre. “The malicious scrutiny of the press cost him his home, his country, his family…even his name, long before that incident with me occurred.”

She leant in, placing a hand on Kate
’s arm. “I like you, too, Kate, and I wouldn’t want you to get hurt. And I can’t help thinking—knowing, that when it comes to this, one mistake is all you’ll ever get. There won’t be second chances with Alex, not after what he’s been through.”

Chapter Seventeen

The warning stayed with Kate throughout the afternoon. Every time she tried to shake it from her head,
from her heart, the doubts came back twice as hard. Were they really as doomed as Helena made them out to be? Would her relationship with Alexander always be as fragile as walking on eggshells until something cracked when she forgot to look?

She didn
’t want to believe it. Surely Helena was exaggerating? Maybe even extrapolating her own experiences and feelings? Besides, she’d already made her first mistake and she was still standing.

But what about the next mistake?

The people I employ will not hesitate at slashing through your bullshit and hanging it out to dry.

Another voice to add to the whispers driving her crazy.

When it came to his sister, he hadn’t hesitated to shut Kate out. Who knew when and where the next line was?

How was she even supposed to kno
w when she’d crossed it?

That was the question that sat Kate down in front of her computer again when she should have been wrapping up for the night. She pressed her palms to the desk, staring at the monitor. This was the moment, the turning point. She sho
uld walk away. From the screen. From Alexander. From the heartbreak lurking around the corner.

She sat there for an age, chewing her lower lip, pretending she was searching for the right decision, searching for the strength to walk away. Pretending, becaus
e this was what she’d known, what she’d feared, right up front. She was lost to logic and reason, lost in Alexander.

She wasn
’t walking away from anything.

But she did need to know how bad the situation was. She needed to know exactly how fragile they rea
lly were.

Googling his name had already proven fruitless, so she went straight to the multitude of online resources she seldom had any use for. She opened her laptop beside her monitor and between the two, called up the various archived newspaper search en
gines she had access to. National archives, open source, some requiring paid registration that had lapsed but only took a couple of seconds to renew.

…
the press cost him his home, his country…

“
I was born in Verona, but I’ve lived in California since the age of fourteen.”

She grabbed a pencil and scribbled notes as she worked through the information, estimating ages and dates, each time going back to the archives opened on her screen and filtering her searches.

…his family…even his name…

Mining the million
s, billions of words for some tragedy in the 1980’s was a nightmare, not doable, until Kate recalled another pertinent fact.

“
God, no, I take strictly after my mother in that department.”

Which implied Alexander took after his father.

Once she’d narrowed the search to male singers, baritones, opera houses, her fingers flying across the keyboard as fast as the various permutations of anything music related came to her, she hit the root of the story that had exploded across the continent, the channel, and even the Atlantic.

As she read, printing relevant articles as she went, that root grew branches that kicked her heart a little harder with each sprout.

Alexander had started his life as Allesandra Agostino, son of the famous Basilio Agostino, a man whose incredible tenor vocal and adaptation of his operatic style to popular music had shot him to stardom in the late seventies.

Her gut lurched as she read the crass interview where he
’d learnt of his wife’s affair.

Any comment about the man keeping Christina comp
any during your long absences, Basilio?

Basilio Agostino brought out his famous smile for us.
‘If you mean Nicoli, we are close family friends.’

When shown the pictures of how close and friendly his wife of twenty years, Christina, was with the man he has
previously described as being his adopted brother, we weren’t surprised to be given no comment from the man with the golden voice.

The press had hounded them for the next six months as they
’d attempted a reconciliation.

Every snap caught of Basilio with an
other woman was revenge.

Every picture of his wife anywhere with anyone was the start of another affair.

The insinuations and speculations turned sinister after the couple’s convertible went over a cliff, killing them both instantly. Double suicide? A nasty argument that had distracted the driver? A new affair that had driven Basilio to take his wife’s life with his own?

The custody battle for the children made the front pages as well. Basilio and Christina had never changed their will and Nicoli had still
been named as their guardian. The press had as many opinions about that as the courts.

And then nothing…

Gerardo was the maiden name of Alexander’s mother. Kate could only guess at the rest. His aunt had stepped in and taken the children back with her to the States.

She felt totally worn, emotionally quartered and inexplicably dirty by the time she
’d inserted all the printouts into a folder and locked it in the bottom drawer of her desk. She should probably comb through the details properly, when she could think straight…although she wasn’t sure she needed any further insight. Her profession could be filthy, no doubt about it. Her profession could be filthy, no doubt about it.

But could Alexander ever accept that she was different? Accept her into his heart
and life without reservation? Look at how his mother had hurt his father. He’d learnt in the worst possible manner that love wasn’t sacred and didn’t come with protection clauses.

Tears dampened her cheeks as she made her way home, pale blues and pinks st
reaking the black of night at the onset of dawn. Her head spun, sleep as elusive as the dream of Alexander ever abandoning himself totally to her, to anyone, after such deep betrayal.

She did eventually fall asleep, face down at the kitchen table, her hand
still clasped around the mug of coffee she’d doctored with a decent tot of whiskey. It was past two in the afternoon when she cracked one eye open, reaching for the cell phone buzzing in her back pocket. When she saw Alexander’s name, she let it ring. There was a previous missed call from him as well and two texts.

Those she read.

Just back from Penzance. Can we talk?

Helena was gone then.

She’d told him she needed to cool down. She’d said she’d see him on the weekend. But it hurt that he’d found it so easy to do just that.

Are you okay?

Wrong question. Of course she wasn’t okay. What he should be asking, though, was were they okay?

She didn
’t think so.

Kate pushed up from the table, making her way upstairs for a desperately needed shower. Yesterday, she
’d been unable to imagine walking away. Now, she wasn’t so sure. Amazing what a couple of hours of sleep could do.

She wasn
’t lost in Alexander, not so far that she couldn’t claw her way back to the surface. She needed to get a grip. How long had they known each other? More pertinent, how much time had they actually had together?

She needed to get out now, before he shifted her so far onto the sidelines, she ended up hating both him and herself.

Freshly showered, she dressed in jeans and a tank top, pulling her hair into a loose knot at the back of her head. She didn’t call him. This was a conversation that required face-to-face. The ache in her heart deepened with every mile along the valley road. It felt as if her insides had been hollowed out, an empty chasm to echo and reverberate that ache until the pain was sharp and physical. But she’d learn to live with that…until she healed. Humans were resilient.

See? Her usual pragmatic optimism was already kicking in.

She stopped the Jeep in front of the gates and hopped out to press the buzzer.

“
Kate,” he said on answering.

She glanced up at the security camera, then turned her back on it.

“Can I come in?” At least the static on the line ate up the croak in her voice.

“
The gates are opening,” he said. “I’ll meet you out front.”

Hearing his voice, however distorted, brought on a threat of tears. She had to stay strong. But that was the problem. She
’d known, from the start, that she wasn’t strong enough to fall without Alexander there to catch her. And now she knew he wouldn’t be, couldn’t ever be there one hundred percent for her.

He couldn
’t ever fall as fast and free and idiotically as she had.

How could he, when she was his worst enemy?

When she embodied the nightmare that had plagued his family?

She saw him coming
through the side gate when she pulled up at the fountain. She cut the engine and slid down from the Jeep, closing the door to lean against it for support.

She didn
’t look up until she’d taken a few trembling breaths, and then she did, her eyes glazing over as she watched him approach. So heart-staggering gorgeous, his hair swept in an unruly mess across his forehead and down one side of his face. The soft white, button down shirt contrasted starkly with the olive-brushed tone of his skin and reflected the glint of silver in eyes that were staring back at her.

“
I wasn’t sure you’d ever want to see me again,
cara
.” He held a hand out to her. His grin was hesitant, strained, and so damned sexy her insides curled up right then and there, folding into the hollows and squeezing out the thudding ache. “Are you still mad?”

God, she couldn
’t do it. She couldn’t walk away from him.

“
I’m not mad anymore.” She took his hand, and he immediately drew her up against him, wrapping his other arm around her, surrounding her with his heat.

Her cheek pressed flat to the curve of his shoulder, her arms snaked around him. Her eyes closed and her chest pulled tight. He might never abandon himself to her completely, but she could never abandon him. She just couldn
’t do it.

His mouth
skimmed along her neck, feathering kisses that spread tiny electrical pulses humming over her skin. She tilted her head up and his mouth covered hers in a lingering, exploring kiss, tasting her lips thoroughly before delving deeper. She was weak with desire when he finally scooped her into his arms and carried her inside.

She slid her hand beneath his shirt, her fingers tracing the familiar ridges of rippled muscle. Her head fell back into the crook of his elbow so she could look into his eyes. “
Does this mean you missed me?” she asked cheekily. “I thought you’d be too busy.”

“
I’ve been busy,” he murmured, his gaze warming through her. “I’ve been working on a new song. It’s not finished yet, but I’d like you to hear it.”

“
You don’t mind?” She raised a brow at him. “I have a friend, a writer, and she’d kill us if we tried to sneak a preview of her current book before she was completely done and satisfied with the ending.”

“
Songs are different,” he said as he kicked the kitchen door closed behind them and put her down. His one hand cupped around the base of her neck, his other came to her chin, his thumb strumming her lower lip. “Sometimes they come at me in a rush of emotions, a palette of colour for me to play with but which never translates into a painting. Does that make sense?”

“
Yes, it does.” She went up onto her tiptoes, kissing the corner of his mouth. “Will you sing it to me?”

“
That was the idea.” He took her hand again, leading her from the kitchen and down a short passage.

When they entered a sitting r
oom at the rear of the west wing, he pressed her gently onto a sofa, then grabbed one of two guitars propped against the wall. He joined her on the sofa, turning in to face her with his back against the armrest, one denim-clad leg squared over the other.

Kate scooted to the opposite end of the sofa and tucked her legs beneath her, watching as he strummed chords for a few minutes, warming up the strings, his head bent and silky black hair falling over his face. Desire and longing filled her. Excitement tri
ckled in her veins. She couldn’t get enough of him. She wanted him inside her, over her, holding her as if he’d never let her go. She wanted this, sitting with him, listening while he sang to her. She wanted it all.

His head still bent, he started singing,
the timbre of his deep voice sending warm shivers through her, leaving her almost as boneless as his lovemaking always left her. The soft, low-keyed intro fed into a faster, pulsing beat.

If I loved you like you need me to

If I loved you like I want me to

I
’d be everything you need or want