Falling for Mr. Darcy (21 page)

“Really, Louisa, we simply must stop him. He will connect himself to that family, and then we will all be ruined.”

“I don’t know, Caroline, the Bennets are unlikely to spend any time in town and are unknown there. I cannot see how, if Charles were to marry Miss Bennet, it would lessen your chances.”

“Louisa, really. You cannot expect that, with Charles as a son-in-law, silly, improper Mrs. Bennet will keep herself at Longbourn.”

“When Charles is in town, he usually stays at our townhouse or at Darcy House. He will likely take up his own townhouse if he marries. and you will not have to see his wife or her family if you do not wish it. Besides, I believe he plans to stay at Netherfield much of the time.”

“Of course I will have to see her, Louisa. Oh, really, you are most obtuse sometimes. Charles is Mr. Darcy’s closest friend. When I marry Mr. Darcy, I will still spend a great deal of time with Charles, and his wife will likely have members of her family often visiting.”

Mr. Darcy’s posture stiffened when he heard Caroline talk of being his wife. A shudder stole through him, and he nearly walked into the room to make it quite clear that it would never happen. He hated the machinations so many ladies in his sphere of acquaintance used to try to gain his interest. But his curiosity got the better of him, and he waited to hear what else they had to say.

“I see your point, Caroline.”

“If Charles marries Miss Bennet, it is more than likely Miss Elizabeth will come to live or, at the very least, visit often with her sister. I cannot think of the discomfort my dear Darcy will have being constantly thrown into her company as I know he quite detests her. Oh, how he will suffer! My only solace is that I shall be there to comfort him.”

The force of Miss Bingley’s words struck Mr. Darcy full on, and he took a step back and leaned against the wall.
Why had I not thought of that? If Bingley marries Miss Bennet — no,
when
he marries her, as I am sure it is only a matter of days before they become engaged — I will likely see much of Elizabeth.
It was with a mixture of pleasure and pain that his mind contemplated
that
likely result of the marriage. Although Mr. Darcy had acknowledged to himself that he, indeed, did love Elizabeth, he had also come to the reluctant decision that he could not have her. He owed too much to his family, and they expected him to marry a woman of rank and fortune.

I must be indifferent in her presence if I am to endure living without her.
The days since he last saw her at the ball had been torture, but he prided himself that he was surviving it well enough. He only managed to think of her half a dozen or so times a day. If he could survive an extended length of time out of Miss Elizabeth’s presence, perhaps he could train his heart to forget his love.

Determining his course of action, Mr. Darcy straightened and walked through the drawing room doors. “I am sorry to interrupt you ladies. I came only to bid you good night as I have planned for an early morning tomorrow and wish to retire early.” He bowed his acknowledgement while Miss Bingley gushed her regrets at his retiring early, but turned and left before she could rise from her seat and try to persuade him to remain a moment longer.

Upon reaching his suite, he pulled fiercely at his cravat to untie the knot as he rang for his valet. He made quick work of the silken fabric, removed his tailcoat and waistcoat and tossed them hastily on the chair in his dressing room.

After receiving his summons, Rogers entered the dressing room. He frowned at the disregarded garments as he picked them up and carefully folded them.

“Rogers, pack my things; we leave for London at first light.”

“Very good, sir. Anything else, sir?”

“A brandy, please.”

Mr. Darcy entered his bedchamber and sank heavily in the chair near the hearth. A moment later, his valet handed him the snifter of amber liquid before exiting to begin packing.

Thinking of returning to London turned Darcy’s thoughts to his sister. It was a balm to his already sinking mood to know that he would soon be there to cheer her up. He had been gone nearly two months, and it was time he remembered his responsibilities. He took a sip of brandy and then threw the rest, glass and all, into the fire. He would bury himself in his neglected business affairs and the entertainment of his sister, and he would forget Elizabeth. He would.

* * *

The following morning dawned gray and dreary. Mr. Darcy watched through the window as his valet instructed the footmen in securing his trunks on the carriage. He had written Bingley a short missive explaining his hasty departure due to business. He also made reference to spending Christmas with Georgiana so that he would not be expected to return for many weeks. After pressing his signet ring into the hot wax to seal the letter, he handed it to Bingley’s butler with instructions to give it to his friend when he came downstairs to break his fast.

Upon exiting the house, he paused briefly and looked around him with a heavy heart and even weightier mind. As he entered the carriage, the weather seemed to match his mood; not an hour into his journey to London, it began to rain. Grumbling to himself, Mr. Darcy felt a fissure form in his heart and a last-minute, panicked wish to turn around — to turn around and go straight to Elizabeth. He drew in a shaky breath and reminded himself of his reasons for leaving. They made sense and were sound. The rain pelting the rooftop seemed to be mocking his decision. He closed his eyes in an attempt to block the traitorous weather and was soon lulled into a restless sleep.

* * *

When the continued rainy weather turned into the first snow of the season, the inhabitants of Longbourn were forced to remain at home with few callers for several days. With Mary’s wedding only days away, Mrs. Bennet fretted excessively about being unable to go to Meryton to secure the items still needed for her trousseau. Occasionally, Charlotte Lucas would venture to walk the short way to visit Elizabeth, for which she was glad as it broke up the tedious pace of the day and distracted her from the question of why Mr. Darcy had not come for a visit in the week since the ball. He had even declined an invitation to dinner a few days before with excuses sent through Bingley of business he needed to attend. Elizabeth had been disappointed but had also felt admiration for his dedication to his responsibilities.

Elizabeth could not hide her excitement at awaking after three days of poor weather to see sun shining through her window. It was a beautiful day, and she could see the sun glistening on the blanket of snow. She hummed as she picked out a pretty cream frock with a green sash and did a careful toilette on her hair. After breakfasting, she briefly visited her father in his study to say a cheerful good morning.

“Good morning to you, too, Lizzy. You seem to be in good spirits this morning.”

“It is bright and sunny out today. I cannot wait to leave this house and finally get some fresh air. Would you like to come with me on a walk this morning, Papa?”

Chuckling to himself, he declined, stating he would like to remain hidden in his library. He had it on good authority that Mrs. Bennet would be out most of the morning doing last minute shopping for tomorrow’s wedding, thus affording him a deliciously quiet home.

Elizabeth bid him good-bye and retrieved her woolen pelisse and gloves from Hill. She departed just as Mrs. Bennet, with Mary and Mr. Collins in tow, exited the house to the carriage, bound for Meryton. The brisk winter air assaulted her lungs in a sting of refreshing coolness. She began in her normal quick pace along one of the lanes near her home.

Upon returning from her walk, she recognized the approach of a single horse and rider. Her excitement quickly faded as her disappointment grew, seeing Mr. Bingley once again arrive at Longbourn without his friend. She closeted her feelings in time to receive Mr. Bingley with feigned cheerfulness.

“Mr. Bingley, welcome to Longbourn. It feels as though it has been ages since you last visited.”

“Miss Elizabeth, thank you. The weather has been horrid, has it not? I mean, the snow is lovely and makes the landscape quite beautiful, but I dread being kept indoors.” The last of his speech was directed away from her as his head had turned to the sound of the door opening. Jane stood at the doorway to welcome him and the two were soon engrossed in each other.

Once all were comfortably divested of their winter wear and seated in the drawing room with a cup of tea, Mr. Bingley, Jane and Elizabeth settled into a comfortable recital of the last few days spent outside of each other’s company.

Elizabeth’s thoughts kept returning to Mr. Darcy and his absence. She told herself she should not fret over it but felt an ever-sinking feeling that she could not shake. Bingley had not mentioned Mr. Darcy, and at a pause in the conversation, Elizabeth found herself speaking before she could think what she was about.

“And does your friend enjoy his stay in Hertfordshire, Mr. Bingley?”

“Mr. Darcy? I believe he did enjoy visiting here, he said as much in his note,” Mr. Bingley replied but, as he was staring once again at Jane, he did not see Elizabeth’s look of confusion.

“Mr. Bingley, you say he
did
enjoy visiting here? Pray, has Mr. Darcy left Netherfield?”

She had hoped to sound a little more indifferent and far less panicked, but the words were out before she could school her tone.

Turning to Elizabeth, Mr. Bingley gave a smile of embarrassment. “Forgive me; with the weather, I had forgotten that I had not the chance to tell you Mr. Darcy left for London three days ago. He had business to attend.”

Elizabeth heard her detached voice ask the question that was screaming in her mind. “And when do you expect his return, sir?”

“I know not. He left very early in the morning, and his note did not mention returning, though it did speak of spending Christmas with Georgiana, so I presume not for many weeks at least. They usually spend Christmas and the New Year at Pemberley.”

Mr. Bingley turned back to Jane and addressed something to her. As their quiet conversation continued, nobody noticed the color drain from Elizabeth’s face and her eyes begin to fill with traitorous tears. Quickly excusing herself, she exited the room, disregarding her duties as chaperone. Upon reaching the stairs, she lifted her skirts and ran up to her bedroom. There, she locked the door and fell on her bed, sobbing heavily.

* * *

Mr. Bingley saw Jane blush modestly at their being left alone. She looked so beautiful, and he could not help himself from reaching over to capture her hand in his. He had not planned on proposing so soon after requesting to court her, but the moment presented itself. As he gazed at his beloved Jane, his heart swelled with emotion; he could not wait a moment longer.

“Jane.” His voice sounded like a caress and set her heart beating rapidly.

“Yes, Mr. Bingley?” she asked, shakily.

“Jane, you must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. Indeed, you are all I think about and all I wish for. I long to wake every morning of my life with you beside me. Please tell me you feel the same and allow me to love you today and every day for the rest of our lives. Jane, will you consent to be my wife?” He looked at her tenderly and waited with a bracing heart for her answer.

“Yes. Yes! I will marry you!” She laughed unsteadily as he took her hand and lifted it gently to his lips.

In the next moment, Mr. Bingley jumped up from his seat in excitement and pulled Jane with him. She laughed at his display of exuberance and smiled indulgently at him. Stepping closer, he placed his hand on her cheek. “Oh, Jane, you have made me so happy!”

“You have made me very happy, too, Mr. Bingley,” she replied shyly as his light touch sent tingles down her spine.

“Charles. I am Charles to you now, my love,” he said and stepped yet closer to her.

“Charles.” She breathed before closing her eyes from the light-headedness she felt at his proximity.

Mr. Bingley could not help himself anymore. He dipped his head to brush her lips softly with his. Pulling away, he watched her cheeks flush beautifully as she opened her eyes. They stood looking into each other’s eyes for a moment before a noise from the hallway reminded them of the impropriety of their proximity to each other. Mr. Bingley led his intended to the sofa and placed himself at a respectable distance. They spoke endearments for a few minutes as each relished in the new opportunity to share the feelings they had felt but not spoken for many weeks.

“Jane, I think I should like to go to your father now.”

Jane nodded and declared she would go to her sister to share their news while he was in with her father. She walked him to her father’s study. After tracing a finger along her cheek, he smiled and knocked on the library door. Upon hearing the summons, he entered with one last glance at her. She smiled and stomped her feet prettily in excitement before calming herself and rushing to find Elizabeth.

* * *

After a few minutes, Elizabeth’s tears dried up and she laid on her bed as feelings of disappointment slowly turned to fuel a rising anger at herself. She was irritated that she had broken down and cried. She did not cry often and was usually much more reserved and in control of her feelings. She allowed her anger to propel her off the bed and to the basin to splash water over her face. The cool water felt good on her burning cheeks and stinging eyes.