Falling for Mr. Darcy (28 page)

Mr. Darcy swirled the contents of his glass around for a moment and, without looking up, said, “I am not sure what there is to know. She is a gentleman’s daughter, and their estate, Longbourn, is a few miles from Bingley’s. He met her at an assembly held in Meryton.”

Richard’s apparent lack of interest put Darcy a little at ease but did nothing to slow his now rapidly beating heart. “And has she any brothers?”

Darcy tried to match his cousin’s bored tone as he answered, “No brothers, only four sisters. In fact, Mr. Collins is their cousin and will inherit Longbourn as it is entailed from the female line.”

Richard watched the brief gleam pass across his cousin’s eyes and his renewed interest in the contents of his glass. “Four sisters! That is singular. Knowing Bingley, he will have taken the most beautiful one. Mr. Collins has married another and that leaves only three to choose from for you and me, Cousin. What say you; shall we be brothers to Bingley?”

Although his comment was made in jest, it had hit an unexpected mark. Richard was delightfully surprised to see his cousin’s eyes dart up to his. Darcy’s face first displayed shock but soon turned into one of embarrassed confusion as if he had been caught at something. Richard knew that face well, because as boys, the two of them had often been caught in various ill-conceived schemes.

“Whoa-ho, Darcy! What is this you are hiding from me? I believe I have found the location of the lady who has caught your eye in Hertfordshire.”

“I have no notion of what you are speaking, Richard,” Darcy shot back.

“I am sure you do. Tell me about her, Darcy. She must really be something if she has caught your interest.”

“I have nothing to say to you.” Darcy swallowed the contents of his glass and stood to refill it from the decanter.

“Very well, then, Cousin. I shall know how to act. If you will just allow me some ink and paper, I shall write Bingley directly and ask him if he knows of any particular lady in residence at Longbourn who might have caught your attention.”

Darcy turned around to face his cousin. “You shall do no such thing, Richard!”

Richard smiled. He now knew it was just a matter of reeling his cousin in; he had already gotten Darcy stuck on his hook.

“Why do you not tell me who this lady is then, Darcy? What are you afraid of?”

Darcy glared at his cousin and fumed at his challenge for several long minutes. After a lengthy battle of wills, his shoulders drooped, and he folded himself into his chair again, saying in defeat, “Her name is Miss Elizabeth Bennet.”

Richard smiled in triumph. He marveled at the sudden drop in his cousin’s countenance, as it looked as though he were about to relate that the lady had died or something equally horrific. “Why the long face, Darcy; what is wrong with the lady?”

Darcy looked up briefly at his cousin as Richard sat himself down in the chair across from him. He lifted his chin and said defensively, “There is nothing wrong with her.”

Richard sat back and raised his eyebrows at the suddenly fierce tone of his cousin’s voice. “I did not mean to imply that something was
wrong
with the girl. But you look as if you are not happy talking about her.” He laughed as Darcy gave him a sarcastic expression that said he, indeed, did not wish to speak of her.

“What does Miss Elizabeth look like? Is she handsome?”

Shaking his head at his cousin, Darcy again submitted in defeat. “I should have known you would not give up. I shall tell you all now, and then you must leave me be on the matter.” His eyes took on a faraway look as he began. “Yes, Miss Elizabeth is pretty. She is amongst the most handsome women of my acquaintance. She has lovely chestnut brown hair and sparkling, expressive, brown eyes. She is funny, passionate, lively and warm. She loves to read and walk about the countryside. She mocks me whenever she can, and I cannot seem to get enough of it. She is irresistible.” Mr. Darcy smiled, lost in memory for a minute, before adding, “She used to despise me, I am sure, but we met once under . . . unique circumstances . . . and I believe we understand each other better now.”

Richard sat back in awe while listening to his cousin. He had never heard Darcy say anything beyond a slight compliment about a lady. Never had he expressed such admiration. Richard watched, fascinated, while his cousin spoke about Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Darcy absentmindedly took out his pocket watch and, after opening it, continued to speak while he stared at it. The action confused Richard, and he wondered why his cousin felt the need to check the time while speaking of Miss Elizabeth.

When Darcy finally finished, he sat quietly looking at his watch. Richard was puzzled about his cousin’s continued distraction but pushed the thought away and asked, in a serious tone, “Do you love her, Darcy?”

Mr. Darcy snapped the lid of his watch shut and lifted his head to look at his cousin in alarm. He could not speak anymore of Elizabeth. The fact that his feelings were so obvious to his cousin spoke only of the great distance he still needed to cover in order to forget his feelings for her. Speaking the words out loud would brand their truth into his heart, and he could not do that.

He pulled his face into one that brooked no argument. “I do not wish to speak of this, Richard.”

His cousin put his hands together and stared at him in mocking challenge as he raised one eyebrow and again questioned with equal fervor, “Are you in love with her, Darcy?”

Mr. Darcy glared at his cousin and fumed in anger at his blatant disrespect for his privacy on the matter. After a while, he could not handle his cousin’s mocking countenance and finished his drink in one gulp. The warm burn down his throat nearly caused him to cough, and he stood abruptly and walked away from his cousin to the window. Holding his arms rigidly behind his back, he looked angrily out the window, trying to ignore his cousin’s challenging gaze.

Richard watched him for a moment before asking yet again, this time in a softer, more brotherly tone, “Are you in love with her, Darcy?”

He watched his cousin’s anger slowly melt away and his jaw relax as he dropped his head as if in shame and moved his arms up to support himself against the windowsill. Richard was amazed that such a simple question could turn his cousin into the broken man before him. The sound of his cousin’s strained voice captured his attention.

Mr. Darcy spoke barely above that of a whisper, “Yes. Yes, I am in love with Miss Elizabeth Bennet; irrevocably, incandescently and thoroughly in love with her.”

Richard’s face spread into a huge smile at his cousin’s declaration and he stood up jovially to join him. Placing a hand on his cousin’s shoulder, he said spiritedly, “Well then, Cousin, when will I be wishing you well?”

Darcy turned pained eyes to him. “You do not understand, Richard; it can never be.” He dropped his arms to his side and went back to his chair, sinking into it and once again pulling out his watch. Richard watched his cousin’s actions with confusion.

“I do not understand, Darcy,” Richard stopped when he saw his cousin look up at him and shake his head. He sat down and offered sympathetically, “Ah, I see, she is already spoken for. I am sorry, Darcy.”

Darcy simply shook his head slowly, as he continued, absently looking at his watch. “No, she is not.”

“She is not?!” Richard puzzled that for a moment. “Then she does not return your regard? That is difficult, but not hopeless. Perhaps with time —”

“No!” Darcy interrupted and lifted his head as if in thought for a moment. Richard watched as some memory flitted across his brow and turned his expression into one of momentary happiness, the likes of which he had before never seen on his cousin. But his face fell again into sadness as he spoke. “That is to say, I do not know for sure. She may return my feelings. If she does, it is that much worse, for it can never be.”

“Why ever not, Cousin?” Richard was losing his patience, and he reached out to grab his cousin’s watch.

Darcy pulled it away just in time and returned it to his pocket before looking at his cousin with frustration. “You want to know why? You want to know why I cannot have the only woman I have ever loved? I shall tell you.” Darcy’s sudden, heated passion surprised Richard as he rushed on in his frustration, “Because of my duty to my family, to Georgiana, to my station! That is why!” He sank back in his chair as his sudden ire burned away just as quickly as it had begun.

“Your duty to your family? To Georgiana? What is this nonsense, Darcy? You cannot be speaking of Anne, can you?”

“No, I am not speaking of Anne,” he shot back angrily.

“Thank goodness for that! I never anticipated you were ever serious about Aunt Catherine’s nonsense that you must marry Anne.” Richard shuddered.

“Richard, you do not understand. Elizabeth may be a gentleman’s daughter and a lady, but she has no fortune and no connections.”

Richard huffed in disbelief. “You do not need her fortune, Darcy.”

“I know that, and I really do not even care about it. But what of her connections? What if I were to marry her and the
ton
did not accept her? What if Aunt Ellen and Uncle Henry reject her and she is shunned? I could not subject her to that, and I owe it to your parents and Georgiana to marry well.” He pulled his watch out yet again and held it in his hand.

“My parents will not shun you for your choice of wife. You are a gentleman; she is a gentleman’s daughter; so far you are equal.”

Darcy stared at his cousin as his mind registered his words. When put so plainly, it made it seem that the mountains between him and Elizabeth were as nothing.

“I do not know, Richard. What if you are wrong and I marry Elizabeth and they do reject her. I do not know if I can take that risk,” he said dejectedly.

The fact that Darcy had now twice referred to Miss Bennet by her Christian name was not lost on his cousin. Richard’s anger began to rise at this ridiculous reasoning. Darcy was totally in love but ready to live a life of unhappiness merely because of a few convoluted notions of duty.

“I cannot and do not believe that, Darcy. Your reasoning is not sound. Lord and Lady Matlock, the elite of the
ton
, your illustrious aunt and uncle,
love you
. They want only for your happiness, and you know that. They will accept anyone you choose and will champion that person against the rest of London — hell, England if need be! You are the one holding yourself back because of some convoluted, inane notion of duty. Go right ahead then, Cousin. But I will not support you in this foolishness.”

He stood abruptly and grabbed at his cousin’s watch, this time successfully taking it from him. “And what the deuces is so fascinating about the time?” he asked as he opened the watch and caught sight of a little silver silk flower. He looked questioningly at his cousin regarding the strange object as he turned the watch to show Darcy.

Darcy just looked back at him offering no explanation at all.

Richard pinched his lips together as he realized that the object must belong to Miss Elizabeth and somehow his cousin had obtained it, most likely by suspicious means. He burst into laughter as he tossed the watch back to his cousin and strolled towards the door, calling back over his shoulder, “You are absolutely hopeless, Darcy!”

Mr. Darcy pinched the bridge of his nose as he heard his cousin’s laughter all the way down the hall and listened, as it did not stop mocking his ears until after Richard had exited the house. His mind was heavy with the words his cousin had said. He did not know what to think but could not ignore the inkling of hope that sprang into his chest. It had felt good finally to declare aloud the love he had for Elizabeth. A weight lifted even as a new burden fell upon his shoulders.
Do I dare hope?

Chapter 13

Mr. Darcy looked up from the letter in his hand at the knock on his study door. He folded the sheet and placed it under a book on his desk as he went to open it.

“Hello, William. Am I disturbing you?”

Darcy smiled at his sister and pulled her into an uncharacteristic embrace. He took her hand to lead her into the room. “Not at all, Georgie. Is everything all right?”

“I am well, thank you. I wished actually to speak with you for a moment if you are not otherwise engaged.”

Darcy’s eyes flashed to the book on his desk with the letter he had just received from Wickham hidden underneath it.
There is no need to worry
, he kept telling himself.
Georgiana is here, and she is safe
. Wickham was just trying to goad him as always. Darcy saw his sister’s concern and realized he had not answered her.

“No, Georgiana, I was not working on anything important. What is it you wished to speak to me about?”

Georgiana played with her fingers in her lap as she worked through the words she wanted to say. Usually he was the one caring for her but now she worried for him. “Did you and Cousin Richard have a fight, William?” A direct approach seemed like the best idea until she looked up to see her brother’s sour expression.

Darcy sat in the chair next to her and took her hand. “No, dear.”

Georgiana’s brows came together in confusion. “But he has not been back to visit since before Christmas a week ago. Have I offended him?”