Falling for Mr. Darcy (8 page)

* * *

After the excitement of the day, Elizabeth found that she desired to retire early because of mounting fatigue and a heavy mind. She and Jane, who would be assisting her, made their excuses before Mr. Collins began reading to the group, much to the dismay of her youngest sisters and the delight of Mary. Upon their exiting the room, Mr. Bennet gave his oldest daughters a look of abandonment.

After readying herself for bed, Elizabeth sat at her dressing table and combed out her long curls. She smiled softly as she remembered sitting in the same place that morning, anticipating her walk. She had thought about Mr. Darcy then, and once again thoughts of the strange man came back to her as she plaited her hair in preparation for bed. He had been so kind and solicitous towards her comfort. She remembered, as a shiver stole through her, how his voice was low and husky with worry when he had hastily embraced her. She was certain that he was very concerned for her, but she could not understand why he would be so moved as to hold her to his chest.
It was as if he was deeply grieved by the thought that I was seriously injured.
It was this topic that Elizabeth found most troubling. She was not a close relation to him — indeed, not even a close friend. She determined that Mr. Darcy must be a man of great feeling. That he was a man of action she knew before, but she had not anticipated that he would combine the two so passionately.

Stretching her limbs, she hobbled to the bed and climbed in next to Jane, who was reading a book by candlelight. She looked up at the movement, smiled while putting her mark in her place, and turned to blow out the light. In the sudden darkness, she whispered to Elizabeth as they settled under the blankets, “Lizzy, I miss him already.”

“Who, Mr. Collins?” Elizabeth teased. Her sister elbowed her in the side at her jest, and Elizabeth replied gently, “I know.” With that, Jane sighed and rolled over to go to sleep, and Elizabeth again was left to her thoughts. Her sister’s words for Mr. Bingley reminded her of the other gentleman in residence at Netherfield, and she sighed to herself as she thought,
me too
! With that realization, she allowed the memory of his embrace to lull her to sleep.

Chapter 3

The following two days found the Bennet household in various degrees of disquiet. Mrs. Bennet was no longer unhappy with the arrival of Mr. Collins due to the gentleman’s less than discreet admission that it was his desire to come to Longbourn to search for a wife from amongst his fair cousins and at the specific advice of his esteemed benefactor, Lady Catherine de Bourgh. She went from viewing his effusions about the quality of the furnishings with offense — as she had believed he came solely to calculate the worth of his future estate — to hearing his raptures about the property with a state of regal pride. When Mr. Collins insinuated the previous night after tea that his interests were steering him towards the eldest Miss Bennet as his choice, Mrs. Bennet discretely suggested to him that his cousin, although certainly honored by his attentions, would not likely return them as she was very nearly engaged to Mr. Bingley. Regardless of the fact that her eldest daughter and the gentleman had not reached an agreement, Mrs. Bennet believed it would not be long, and therefore held it as fact in her own mind. At this point, Mr. Collins quickly reviewed his options and was delighted to see that another cousin, Miss Elizabeth, was also quite pleasing to him.

It was on this problem that Elizabeth pondered with much anxiety after breakfast as she sat hiding on the windowsill of her room with a book. It had not taken her long to notice the marked attentions of her oaf of a cousin, and she was far from happy about them. She was constantly accosted by the gentleman to hear all about his humble parsonage and the many delightful improvements Lady Catherine had condescended to advise him to make. She thought back to the conversation she had with him the previous night. Mr. Collins and his over-tight waistcoat had squeaked their way over to her — yet again — after dinner and sat beside her on the settee.

“My dear Cousin Elizabeth, it gives me great pleasure to see you thus occupied this evening with your lovely needlework. I have often heard from my wise advisor, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, that ladies of small means, such as yourself, must always try to improve themselves through such activities so as to make up for other deficiencies. It honors me to see that you, dear Cousin, are so mindful in your humility, and if I may say so, it does not place you in an unfavorable light. No, it does not indeed.” With this, Mr. Collins dipped his head with condescension as he curled his mouth up in a greasy smile, causing the little droplets of sweat above his lip to catch the light of the candle and glisten most unattractively.

“I thank you, Mr. Collins. You are indeed quite the gentleman to remind me of the ways I can improve upon the many disadvantages I bring to matrimony,” Elizabeth said bitterly, but with such a saucy smile that he did not catch her tone and only heard her reference to marriage. He was delighted with his progress thus far.

Returning to the present, Elizabeth groaned with frustration as she stamped her foot against the wall of the window seat. She found herself becoming frustrated when she thought of the many left-handed compliments he paid her and his failure to be deterred by her impertinent responses.
That man is so odious!
Her annoyance grew at having to hide herself away in her room just to get away from him, as he had taken to following her around since almost the moment of his arrival two days earlier. However, the irritation soon melted away to amusement as her natural temperament would not allow her to stay ill tempered for long. She reflected with humor at the way her father would goad Mr. Collins in a slightly mocking tone when he would ask about his patronage from Lady Catherine, a topic that Mr. Collins could expand upon for a considerable length of time.

Elizabeth was stirred from her reverie by the entrance of Jane into their shared bedroom. Jane laughed quietly to see her sister sitting with her legs bunched up around her on the windowsill. “So this is where you have been hiding, Lizzy. I have been looking for you since breakfast.”

“I am sorry, Jane. Since I cannot yet walk as well as I would like because of my ankle, I could not disappear outside.” This was said with such a tone of frustration that her sister immediately felt pity for her.

Coming to her side and placing her hand on her shoulder, she replied sweetly, “I am sorry, Lizzy. I know how much you dislike our cousin, but I think we must conclude he has some cleverness about him as he has singled you out.”

Elizabeth laughed without humor. “Yes, I am sure it has nothing to do with the fact that Mama certainly hinted at you being spoken for already by your Mr. Bingley. I have begun to wish I had never deterred Mama from believing Mr. Darcy was interested in me. Our cousin might have then singled out Mary!”

“He is not
my
Mr. Bingley, Lizzy,” Jane said shyly.

Elizabeth smiled knowingly and patted her sister’s hand. Jane blushed and, seeking a change of subject, turned to her sister and said, “You did not tell me what Papa said to you in his library yesterday. Did he ask you about Mr. Darcy?”

At the gentleman’s name, Elizabeth thought once more about the events of two days before. She still had not managed to figure out what her feelings were towards the man. She admitted to herself that she no longer felt offended by his comments at the assembly and was beginning to see his brooding stares in a different light than she had previously. She detected that he was a bit shy and reserved, but still she could not convince herself that he was not a good deal prideful as well. A tingle went down her spine whenever she considered the tenderness he showed her and the unexpected concern for her health. She was embarrassed that she had not considered him capable of such gentle regard as he had shown her most naturally that day. Their conversation during the ride back had surprised her with their compatibility on a number of subjects. She had only managed to conclude that she was much attracted to Mr. Darcy and wanted to know him better. With effort, Elizabeth directed her thoughts to the present and to answering Jane’s entreaty.

“Yes, Papa was most curious as to the details of my morning.” Elizabeth chuckled to herself at the way her father tried to tease her about being in company with Mr. Darcy and riding his horse. She related to her sister their father’s laughing insinuation that Elizabeth had
planned
an assignation with the gentleman.

“NO!” Jane gasped. “Lizzy, he could not think such a thing!”

Elizabeth laughed and reassured her sister. “You are right, Jane. Papa did not think such a thing, but you know how he likes to tease. He was merely trying to stoke my ire by suggesting I had a secret
tendre
for Mr. Darcy and that we had met privately on purpose. It was the same silly suggestion Mama made, only I know Papa was trying to provoke me.” Elizabeth remembered that her father’s insinuation did raise her ire at the time, and she had most adamantly denied such scandalous ideas until she realized her father’s motivation was to tease her. He had wanted to provoke a reaction from her since he knew she would never behave so improperly as to meet a gentleman secretly. His desire in doing so was to see her response to the idea. When she realized his motive, she was disappointed in herself for blushing, thereby revealing her feelings. It was the very thing she did not want her father to know and the very thing he hoped his teasing would tell him. Elizabeth thought that her father appeared a bit disappointed at finding she had developed some feelings for Mr. Darcy, but he tried to hide it behind a strained smile. Elizabeth felt compassion for him as she knew he did not welcome the day she would marry and move away.

The sisters were interrupted in their conversation by the high-pitched squeals of their mother, calling excitedly for Jane as she came down the hall towards their bedroom. Upon bursting through the door, Mrs. Bennet panted heavily and tried to address her eldest daughter. “Jane, dear . . . you must make haste; he is here!” Pausing briefly to try to catch her breath, Mrs. Bennet pulled out her handkerchief, wiped her brow and waved it around her chest trying to stir the heat of the air around her as she continued, “He is come, Jane — make haste and fix yourself! He will be at the door any minute!”

At this, Jane asked with concern and obvious anxiety, for she was sure she knew the answer already, “Who is come, Mama?”

Elizabeth turned her head sharply to the window when she heard her mother pant, “Mr. Bingley, child! He is come to see you, dear. You must not keep him waiting! He has been seen at the gate!” With this, she turned and left. Elizabeth’s eyes were arrested and her whole body froze as she caught sight of two gentlemen nearing the house on horseback. The first was indeed, Mr. Bingley. The second — she recognized the horse immediately, and as her eyes roamed upwards to the rider, her heart nearly stopped as she looked right into the face of Mr. Darcy, who had just then noticed her in the window. Their gazes held for a short moment as neither was able to turn away. Elizabeth gave him a slight smile, and his broad smile in return made her breath catch. She turned from the window with wide eyes and a thumping in her chest.

Elizabeth schooled her features into a calm she did not feel and helped her sister adjust her appearance. She pinched her cheeks to give them color and smiled brightly at Jane in an attempt to reassure her. “Breathe, Jane; he has probably come to see after your health. It was but a few days ago that he saw you at Netherfield.”

Jane smiled as she recognized that she did not feel as nervous as her sister evidently did and that Lizzy’s words were probably meant more for herself. She had also taken a moment to peek out the window and had seen Mr. Darcy smile at her sister. She smiled inwardly as she considered this another bit of proof that her sister’s heart was beginning to be touched by Mr. Darcy. Jane took a few deep breaths in an effort to appear nervous for the benefit of her sister and found that Elizabeth matched her action, which helped to calm her. Jane smiled at the success of her acting. It was not that she did not feel a certain amount of nervous excitement at seeing Mr. Bingley again, but she was a bit more confident in her feelings for the gentleman and his feelings for her.

* * *

Mr. Darcy was silent on the ride to Longbourn that morning. He had worried about Elizabeth for the few days since her accident. If he was being honest, he was not really worried about her injury. He knew it was not very serious, but he had tried to convince himself that the reason his thoughts so frequently had turned towards her was merely because he was concerned with the extent of her healing. Considering how often his thoughts were on the crook of her neck when she tilted her head to tease him or the sparkle in her eyes when she looked up at him, he knew that her ankle was not forefront in his mind . . . well, except for the way it delicately and sweetly curved into her pretty little foot.

Now his thoughts were taking a turn in a more anxious direction. When Bingley had mentioned to him that morning that he thought he might ride out to Longbourn to see how Jane was recuperating after her illness and wondered whether his friend would like to join him, Darcy had wanted to hug him. He did want to go and confirmed he would like to inquire after Elizabeth’s recovery from her injury as well. He could not suggest it himself for fear of what it might reveal, and after seeing Elizabeth every day for nearly a week while she was at Netherfield and then the day afterwards as well, he found that her absence in his life was becoming nearly painful. As Longbourn came into view, he wondered at the merits of the idea. He did not know how he might be received by the lady and whether their time together a few days before would be viewed by her with pleasure or pain. It was with this thought that he wondered whether his presence would cause her discomfort and he, instead, should have sent his enquiries by way of his friend. Adding to his anxiety was the fact that, even though he knew he was becoming quite lost to the lady, he was not sure he could do anything about it.