Falling for Rain (10 page)

Emily was about to say something about it being the twenty-first century, when women didn't think marriage and babies were the be-all and end-all of existence, but she couldn't find the energy. As a matter of fact, she felt exhausted by the story and was relieved when a group of teenagers came into the diner and Cathy excused herself to serve them.

Emily stared at the almost-cold bowl of soup in front of her, feeling no appetite. She pulled out her wallet and left money for the soup and coffee along with a generous tip on the table. She exited by the parking lot door, with Cathy calling after her to have a nice trip. Emily wondered how the waitress would react if she told her who she really was.

* * *

Rain was at the point when he'd have to decide whether to make this his last beer so he could legally drive home or have another (or two or three) and stay at the hotel for the night. He could call the neighbour's son to do the evening chores; the boy was always glad for a bit of extra pocket money. He was favouring the latter
idea,
all the stresses of the last few days making getting drunk an attractive idea, when a bottle of beer placed on the rail in front of him decided the issue for him.

He turned to see Cathy, the waitress from the Five Star Diner, grinning like the cat that had eaten the canary. "Thanks," he said. "I'll get the next one." He was fully aware how he affected the women of the village. It didn't inflate his ego; it was just a fact. And he had a cardinal rule: stay out of their beds. He treated them all with brotherly respect and did nothing to encourage their advances. It was a wise course of action, also ensuring that he didn't end up in trouble with a possessive husband or boyfriend or a protective father.

"Get off early today?" he asked politely.

"
Ya
, it was pretty quiet. No tourists anymore." She took a sip of beer. "There was one woman though. She was asking about you." Rain watched the cat-that-ate-the-canary look deepen.

"And what did she want to know?" he said without much curiosity.

"Just who you were.
She saw you from the window."

"And what did you tell her?" Rain realized Cathy wasn’t referring to someone she knew.

"Oh, nothing,” she said, while her expression told another story.

Rain took a sip of beer to hide his smile. No doubt she had told this mysterious woman his life story – or at least the story as the villagers knew it, which he assumed was highly embellished. In fact, with the village’s love of gossip, Rain found it surprising that Emily's return had escaped notice. Suddenly, he thought he knew who Cathy's stranger was. Who else could it be?

"You should have seen her car," Cathy added, confirming Rain's suspicions. He wondered how much Cathy had said.

"Well, I certainly hope you didn't give any bill collectors directions to my house."

A look of horror crossed Cathy's face, compelling Rain to add "Just joking" before politely extracting himself from her company with the excuse that he had farm chores to do. She was clearly disappointed but smiled cheerfully. On his way out, Rain left his barely touched beer at the bar and paid for another one to be sent to Cathy.

He had lost the heart for drinking and only wanted to be back in the seclusion of his own cabin. He drove home, parked the truck in the drive next to Emily’s car, and, after doing the barn chores, walked to the cabin, where the red light flashed impatiently on his answering machine. He took off his boots and jacket before hitting the play button.

“Hi. It’s Jennifer....”
Damn
, he thought as soon as he heard her cheerful voice.
Dinner.
They were supposed to be joining friends for dinner that night. They had made these plans only a few days before, but so much had happened since then, it seemed a lifetime ago.  “Could you please pick up a bottle of wine on your way into town?” the message continued. “See you soon.”

Rain glanced at his watch. He wasn’t late. He still had time for a shower, and he could save time by bringing a bottle from home rather than stopping for one at the liquor store. He showered and changed into clean jeans and a cream flannel shirt, all the while thinking guiltily how much he’d prefer to stay home. He grabbed his Harris
tweed
jacket from the closet and the best bottle of wine from the wine rack before hurrying out the door and almost colliding with Emily as he rounded the corner of the house.

It was hard to say who was more surprised, both uttering a startled sound as they jumped back. They looked at each other for a moment, Rain wishing he could spend the evening in front of the fireplace with Emily instead of having dinner with Jennifer, while Emily thought about how sexy he looked in his tweed jacket, his damp hair like gold in the dying light. The silence between them seemed awkward, with Emily breaking it first.

“Going out?” she asked, hoping she didn’t sound too disappointed.

“I’m having dinner with my girlfriend,” he said, surprising himself with his choice of words. He felt confused and embarrassed and anxious to get away.  “I’m sorry. I’ve got to get going. I’m late.”

“Well, don’t let me keep you,” she said, stepping out of his way. She hoped her voice didn’t betray her shock at the word
girlfriend
.

He passed by her with a muttered goodbye, and Emily watched him disappear among the trees with a sharp splinter of something in her heart that could only be jealousy.

Emily knew she’d felt strangely satisfied with Cathy’s version of events that afternoon. It had been good for her ego to hear that Rain was still carrying a torch for her. But of course he’d have a girlfriend. How could he not? He was good-looking, sexy beyond belief, well-spoken.... She forced herself to stop thinking along these lines.  It was her intention to leave the village as soon as possible. But as she switched on her flashlight to light her way back through the woods, she knew she had walked this way with hopes of seeing him. She’d even thought she might tell him after all what had happened at the lawyers that day. He’d probably be pretty happy to hear that she was giving up the fight, that the whole farm, even her share, now belonged solely to him, no strings attached.

You can’t go home again.

At least
she
couldn’t – she’d proved that this morning when she had fled from his kisses. And now there was a girlfriend. There was reason to fear being hurt, because if she wasn’t careful, there was a damn good chance it was going to happen. Anyway, what was he doing trying to kiss her when he already had a girlfriend?

The only thing to do was to make a clean break, to get away before it was too late. She removed her coat and boots at the kitchen door, went to the cupboard, and poured a drink.

If it wasn’t already too late
.

* * *

Rain drove down the highway with a sinking heart. He knew he was in over his head. Why had he told Emily he was off to see his girlfriend when he didn't have one?

It was true Jennifer was his friend, but that was as far as it went. Jennifer was married to her work and wanted to keep her personal life as uncluttered as possible. She knew of Emily's existence and was perhaps even more aware than Rain of how much a hold Emily still had over him.

Jennifer was an attractive woman, beautiful really, with long dark hair, intelligent blue eyes, and a quick warm smile. But the smile she was wearing when she opened the front door faded instantly on seeing Rain. “What’s the matter, Ray?” she asked as she led him into the living room. A fire burned brightly in the fireplace, giving the room a cozy glow. With its fresh flowers, comfortable furniture, and warm colours, Rain had always found Jennifer’s house to be as comforting as her personality, and he felt happy to be able to confide in her now.

Still standing, he looked at her and said very quietly, “Emily’s back.”

She looked at him for a moment, the worried look in her eyes changing to sympathy. “I think we’d better sit down and open that bottle of wine. I’ll get the corkscrew and glasses.”

Rain removed his jacket and settled himself into the chintz covered sofa. Jennifer returned and opened the bottle, pouring two generous glasses before settling into the armchair across from him. "Okay, so what's the scoop?"

Resisting the urge to drink the whole glass in one courage giving gulp, he took a sip and placed it back on the table. “She came back to sell the farm. I think she’s got a developer who’s interested in it.”

 “But she can’t,” Jennifer protested.  “It’s half yours.”

 “Yeah, but she didn’t know. She was furious when I told her, and she fired me on the spot.”

 “She didn’t!” 
Jennifer said indignantly, ever more incredulous that Ray could still have feelings for this woman, who, from everything that Jennifer had ever heard, didn’t deserve the love of someone like him.

 “She backed down on that, for now anyway. And I think she’s accepted that the land will be divided. After that, I don’t know. She seems as angry as ever, still obsessed with her mother’s death and her own need to be successful. And,” he paused to take another sip of wine, “I think she still hates me.” He smiled ruefully. “And I don’t think she even knows the whole story.”

“You’ve got to tell her someday,” Jennifer said simply.

He thought back to his meeting with Emily on the path to the cabin. She hadn’t seemed angry. In fact, she seemed to be glad to see him. It was unlikely Cathy had said anything.

“Yes, I know. I keep thinking there’ll be a good time.” He sighed. “And you’re right. After everything’s that happened, I still have feelings for her. I only wish she felt the same way.”

They didn’t speak for a few minutes, and Rain became acutely aware of the sounds around them: the ticking of the clock on the mantle, the crackle of the fire, a dog barking somewhere in the night, the sound of his own heart.

 “Well,” Jennifer said at last. “I wish I knew what to say. I'm tempted to tell you to get on with your life, but I know that doesn't help. I'm not good at these matters of the heart – I’m much too practical." She tossed her long dark hair over her shoulder. "Do you want out of dinner tonight? It’s okay. I'll make up some excuse for you."

"Thank you," he said gratefully. "I'm not really up to going out tonight. And," he said taking another sip from his glass, "thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder."

Jennifer got up and, going to the fireplace, stirred the fire with the poker. "Are we still on for tomorrow though? It's an important night for you, and I want to be there."

"Of course.
I asked Emily, and she accepted. She doesn't know what the occasion is though."

Jennifer smiled. "Are you playing games with her, Ray?"

"I think she asked for this one." He smiled, and Jennifer couldn't help but admire her friend's handsome looks. "She's going to think you're my girlfriend too."

"Ray Storm!" Jennifer said with mock sternness as she shook the poker at him. "I don't know what you're playing at, but you're going to owe me big time!"

Rain laughed as he got up. Pulling on his jacket, he went to the front door. Jennifer put down the poker and followed him. "I should let you get to dinner," he said, feeling depressed again. "Thanks for covering for me.”

"No problem. I'll see you tomorrow night." She opened the door, and Rain kissed her lightly on the cheek before stepping out onto the porch. "I've told you this before, Ray,” she said. "But I can think of a dozen smart, beautiful women who would love a chance to go out with you. And those are only the ones I know personally.”

"I know, Jennifer," he said. "Good night."

"Good
night,
and take care of yourself. I don’t want to see you hurt again,” she said, closing the door softly behind him.

Rain sat in his truck for awhile before driving to a nearby hotel. Maybe it was a good idea to get drunk after all. He wished he still smoked. He checked in for the night before going to the hotel bar and ordering a double scotch. Except for a couple who were holding hands and gazing into each other s eyes across their candlelit table, the bar was empty. The bartender put on some music, and Tom Waits began to sing a song of lost love that echoed the despair Rain felt.

What was he doing?

Jennifer was right. He really should get on with his life, find a good woman, and settle down, as they say. The problem was that Emily was the only woman he could ever love.

He was in for a long, lonely life.

C
hapter 5

Emily woke the next morning to the sound of rain beating on the roof of the farmhouse. The anticipated storm had arrived.