Fallout (18 page)

“Say the word and I’ll fight leaving,” Derek offered.

“What about Fido?” Sambit asked. The dog lifted his head at hearing his name, but when Sambit made no effort to call him over, he put his head back down and settled for wagging his tail.

“We keep him with us at all times,” Derek said. “It’s not ideal, but it’s never been ideal. All you have to do is ask, and I’ll stay.”

And postpone the inevitable.

“If I get in over my head with the robots, can I send you an e-mail for help?”

“E-mail, text, call, or anything else,” Derek offered immediately. “Get your phone. I’ll program all the numbers in.”

Sambit unclipped his phone from his belt and handed it to Derek. Derek tapped on the keypad for several minutes, including punching the call button so Sambit’s number would show up on his own call record, before handing the phone back to Sambit. “There. All the ways you could possibly need to get in touch with me. I put my home, cell, and work numbers in there as well as my personal and work e-mails. Obviously I’d rather you only use the work number and e-mail for robotics stuff rather than personal conversation, but you can call or text my cell anytime you want. I don’t know how long it’ll be before Kenneth expects me back at work at NASA, but if it’s not a convenient time to talk, I can always choose not to take the call.”

“You don’t really want me calling just because,” Sambit demurred, “but thank you for the numbers. If we have an emergency, it will help to be able to reach you.”

Derek grabbed his shoulders, shaking him lightly. “If you don’t want to call or text, that’s your choice. I’ll be disappointed, but I’ll live with it, but don’t put words in my mouth. You can put other things there all you want and I’ll happily suck on them all night long, but I meant what I said about wanting to hear from you.”

“Everything goes back to sex with you, doesn’t it?” Sambit asked, the off-color comment rubbing him the wrong way. “I’m going to bed.”

“Why are you so determined to avoid me?” Derek demanded. “I don’t know how many more ways I can try to prove to you that I’m serious.”

“You can’t,” Sambit said. “Two days, four days, a week, that’s not long enough to prove anything, especially under extenuating circumstances like these. If we’d met at a conference or even at a bar, maybe things would be different, but we’re thrown together here day in and day out, and there’s nothing normal about that.”

“Fine,” Derek said. “I’ll leave with the supply convoy, but you aren’t getting rid of me that easily. I won’t disturb you during the day because I know you have to work, but I expect to hear from you every evening. I’m still not convinced your headaches are just headaches. If nothing else, I want to know what your dosimeter reading is so I know you haven’t been overexposed to radiation. I may not be here, but that won’t stop me from caring about what happens to you, and it won’t stop me from wanting to be with you as soon as you’re out of here.”

“We’ll see,” Sambit said. “I’m not saying you’re wrong. I’m just not convinced you’re right, and the only way to prove either one of us right is to let time pass and see what happens.”

“Fair enough,” Derek said, “but I’m not going to stop trying to convince you. Think you can deal with that for the next fifty years or so?”

He was probably stubborn enough to do it, too, Sambit thought. “You’ll do what you want no matter what I say so I’m not going to argue with you. I was serious about being tired, though, so I
am
going to bed now.”

“Make yourself comfortable, and I’ll rub your shoulders for you again.”

“It’s not that kind of headache this time,” Sambit said. “It’s above my eyes and in my temples. A backrub won’t help that.”

“So I’ll try something else,” Derek said. “Lie down. I’ll be right back.”

Sambit rolled his eyes. Derek needed to learn the meaning of the word “no.” With a sigh, he took off his shirt. He’d take a shower in the morning after he did his yoga. As much as he needed one, he was too tired to shower tonight. He debated leaving his trousers on, but he’d be more comfortable without them so he stripped down to his briefs and climbed under the covers quickly. He didn’t need to give Derek another excuse to jump him again, not that he could honestly complain about the results last time.

“Leave your eyes closed,” Derek’s voice said above him. “I’m just going to put this cloth on your forehead. The heat and steam should help with the pressure.”

Before Sambit could decide how to respond, Derek had laid a warm, wet cloth across his eyes and forehead. The heat did feel good, and Sambit felt the pressure in his sinuses loosening somewhat. Then Derek’s fingers settled on his temples, rubbing in deliberate circles, the pressure just this side of painful. “Relax,” Derek said softly. “I know it feels too hard now, but give it a minute and it’ll help the pain.”

“How do you know?”

“I used to do this for my mom when she got really bad headaches around her eyes. She always said it was the only thing that made her feel better.”

It was one more instance of the soft, fiercely protective heart beneath the prickly surface. Sambit gave up fighting and relaxed into Derek’s care. It wouldn’t be such a terrible thing to be on the receiving end of that protectiveness now and then as long as Derek didn’t smother him with it when he didn’t need it. He hadn’t so far. He’d worked alongside Sambit as an equal until Sambit showed signs of distress. Only then had the protectiveness kicked in. Sambit could think of worse qualities to have in a partner.

The thought startled him enough to open his eyes.

“Close your eyes,” Derek scolded. “You’re supposed to fall asleep while I’m doing this so you’ll feel better in the morning.”

Sambit did as he was directed, his thoughts racing. He’d been deliberately avoiding any thought of a future with Derek beyond the few days they’d been together at the power plant, but his heart had other ideas. He knew this was a bad idea, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. It would get easier once Derek left, he hoped, because while Sambit couldn’t deny his own investment in the situation any longer, his assessment of the chances of making things work between them hadn’t changed. He wouldn’t do anything to deliberately sabotage their relationship, but he still believed it wouldn’t last more than a week or two beyond Derek’s departure.

Derek moved the cloth from Sambit’s forehead, his fingers massaging above Sambit’s eyebrows, digging in slightly as they had done at his temples. As before, any harder and it would have hurt, but Derek always stayed one step shy of that point, and Sambit felt the pressure behind his skull lessen bit by bit.

He reached up and squeezed Derek’s wrist. “Thank you. That helped.”

Derek lifted Sambit’s hand to his lips, kissing the palm gently. “Good. Now go to sleep.”

Sambit almost asked how he was supposed to do that with Derek distracting him, but the touch on his face gentled, soothing him into sleep.

Chapter 12

“I’
LL
call tonight to see how things went with the robot,” Derek said as he packed his bag and folded up his cot. They still had a few hours before the supply convoy arrived and Derek had to leave, but he wanted to spend as many of those hours as possible working so he figured he’d better pack now while he had a chance. He didn’t want anything to get left behind because Tucker threw him out the door when the supply convoy was ready to leave.

“I’m sure they’ll be fine,” Sambit said from where he sat on his cot nearby. “We tested them yesterday and they worked great.”

“Yes, but that was under test conditions. When you get them out in the reactors and exposed to the radiation, they might not perform as well. It’s a tricky business, robotics. Besides, I want to know if you’re having more headaches. I don’t like that.”

“I know you don’t, but my dosimeter isn’t anywhere near a dangerous dose, and I still don’t have any other symptoms,” Sambit reminded him. “It’s stress, not radiation, because if it were radiation poisoning, I wouldn’t feel better in the morning or after your massages.”

“I hate that I’m leaving you here,” Derek said, closing his bag and sitting down next to Sambit. “I feel like I’m abandoning you and Lyrica. I know it wasn’t my idea, but even so, it feels wrong.”

“I know you’d stay if Tucker would let you,” Sambit said, squeezing Derek’s hand. “Go home and get your house fixed back up. I know you said you didn’t have any flooding, but you should still check things out to make sure there wasn’t other damage. They grabbed us and brought us here so quickly after the storm passed that I’m sure you didn’t have a chance to check things out thoroughly.”

“No, I didn’t,” Derek admitted, “but I didn’t see anything obvious before I left. I have to get stuff for Fido too. I don’t exactly have dog supplies at my house. I took some food from the house I found him in, figuring that would hold me until I could find an open store with something in stock. Who knows what I’ll find when I get back? I’m pretty sure I was the only one in the neighborhood who rode out the storm. When the others come back and see the decimation, they may not decide to rebuild. It happened a lot after Katrina in New Orleans. People found it easier simply to move than to start over where they had been before.”

“See?” Sambit said. “You’ll be so busy with the rebuilding going on around you that you won’t have time for me. And you’ll have to get back into your real job as soon as you can too. I don’t imagine NASA can afford to shut down for long.”

“They can’t,” Derek said. “That’s one of the reasons they have different installations, so that if one goes offline for something, the others can take up the slack temporarily. It won’t be long before my office is back up and running, though. They have contingency plans in place for every disaster imaginable, including that bitch of a storm.” He saw Sambit’s flinch and could have kicked himself. “Sorry. I’m trying to watch my language. I know it’s a bad habit.”

“You’ve done a lot better since the first day,” Sambit said, “and I appreciate it. Even if I still react when it slips out. You don’t have to change on my account, you know.”

“Sure I do,” Derek said, leaning over to kiss Sambit lightly. “You won’t stay with me if I’m constantly making you uncomfortable with my cussing.”

“You won’t be around after today.”

“For a few weeks.” Derek refused to let Sambit get in the mindset of his departure meaning the end of their relationship. “Then you’ll be back on campus and we’ll be able to see each other more often. Hell—heck, I might even move to College Station if you ask me nicely enough.”

Derek could see Sambit’s skepticism on his face but let it go. Only time and carrying through on his promises would convince Sambit of his sincerity. “Let’s go finish our tests,” he said instead. “I don’t want to give Tucker any reason to snipe at you after I’m gone because I didn’t think of something before I left.”

“If there’s a problem, I’ll call,” Sambit said. “Really. I’m not going to pretend to be an expert at something I’m not.”

“Two of a kind beats a straight any day,” Derek said. “We’ll show Tucker what we’re made of, even if I have to do it from a distance.”

Sambit chuckled. “Two of a kind, huh?”

Derek shrugged. “We are, aren’t we? Two gay men, two PhDs in a world that values athleticism more than intelligence, two outsiders trying to make our way in a world that doesn’t always understand us. Maybe the reasons we’re outsiders are different since you’re less open about your sexuality than I am, but you said yourself that being Indian sets you apart sometimes.”

“I guess we do have a few things in common, when you put it that way,” Sambit said.

“I told you we did.” Derek resisted the urge to crow more than that or to push for more of a commitment than Sambit was willing to give at the moment. He’d stick to his plan and let time and determination win the other man over. “Let’s go. I heard Tucker’s bellow, and I don’t want to give him a reason to yell at you once I’m gone.”

E
VERYTHING
seemed quieter after Derek left, and not in a good way. Sambit had gotten used to having him around, to the shimmer of nerves that accompanied his presence, to the way he seemed to dominate a room, drawing attention to himself even when he was working and not doing anything to actually demand that attention.

All the confidence he had felt with the robots while Derek was at his side faded as he sat down at the computer to send the robot out to check on the turbines again. The uneven ground would add complications he wasn’t comfortable dealing with.

Two of a kind beats a straight
. Derek’s words echoed in Sambit’s head, making him smile. He might be the only one sitting here, but Derek was only a call or a text away if Sambit got into a situation he couldn’t handle on his own.

“It’s quiet with Derek gone,” Lyrica said, sitting down next to him and peering over his shoulder. “Let’s see what’s going on with that turbine, shall we?”

Sambit guided the robot around the control building toward the breach in the secondary containment structure where they could access the compromised turbine and pipes. Their hope was that as they had continued to pump boron into the reactor, they would have decreased the radioactivity of the entire complex, but this was their first opportunity to test the results of their experiment. Until they could get the radioactivity under control, it wouldn’t be safe to begin repairs on the containment structure or to start decommissioning the reactor.